Oh, for a cup of hot coffee.

By Bob Gaydos

    When you spend much of your grown life sharing your  opinions on topics ranging from presidential politics to the marvels of watermelon, it kind of becomes a habit. Sometimes, as you grow older, fewer people are interested in your opinions, on politics or anything else. Also, sometimes as you grow older, you tend to voice your opinion on those watermelon topics out loud a bit more frequently. That’s when the ‘C’ Word sometimes enters the conversation.

    Curmudgeon.

    Translation: Old guy with opinions. This is not to be confused with senior political pundit, who occasionally might be an old guy with opinions.

    In any event, I embraced the curmudgeon label 18 years ago when I retired from daily newspapers. Had to. The heart-warming retirement tribute published for the occasion called me one. Me and Andy Rooney, I figured. Good company. (If you don’t know who Andy Rooney was, you’re too young to read this column.)

    So when the word popped up in conversations a couple of times recently, good-heartedly I should add, it didn’t bother me. Rather, it reminded me. There’s a place for curmudgeons in society. A need in fact. Else, how would people ever be aware of some of the little annoyances most people are just too polite to point out?

     For starters, I think every business that serves the public needs a resident curmudgeon to point out things that leave customers shaking their heads.

    For example, if you’re a legendary “fast-food” place with drive-through windows and arches and everything, shouldn’t you be able to pour two cups of hot coffee, any size, any time, to a customer without asking them to “please pull over to the waiting area while we put another pot of coffee on”? Isn’t that what you’re selling? Speed and convenience? Doesn’t anybody know how to say, “Hey, put another pot on”? And is there any reason other than lack of attention for this practice to become an acceptable routine? Just asking.

   While we’re on the subject of coffee, if you open a new, (very) small dining establishment, hoping to attract customers for breakfast, brunch or lunch, why would you serve your customers coffee in a paper cup? They can get that at the local drive-through if they’re willing to wait. Sitting down to eat should guarantee a real cup with a real handle. And honestly, is it too much to expect someone to taste the coffee to make sure it’s more than lukewarm?

   And, not to be picky, but if you happen to own a really busy dining establishment, with lots of satisfied customers coming and going, shouldn’t someone on the payroll notice that the front door, every time it’s opened, always closes with a loud slam. Always. Slam! It could make someone sitting too close to the door spill his coffee. It’s not … quaint.

   But then, maybe no one noticed … the waiting, the paper cup, the cold coffee, the slam. People are busy trying to do their jobs, maybe too busy. That’s why I think every business needs a resident curmudgeon to ask the annoying questions.

   And obviously, I could really use a good cup of coffee before I go back to politics.

        (Dedicated to Sean and Ernie.)

By Bob Gaydos

Elise Stefanik … pondering her future

  Poor Elise Stefanik. She just got Trumpified out of the dream job of her young lifetime, the crowning glory if you will of all that scraping, bowing, butt-kissing, lying, conniving, scheming and surrendering of personal dignity required to become the Orange One’s nominee as Ambassador to the United Nations, and no one noticed because the rest of the Trump cabinet shared classified war plans on a private chat line that they are forbidden to use for such purposes and somehow managed to include a bonafide — as in ethical and trained — journalist on the chat, which has the Trump team all in distract, lie and point fingers mode because many average Americans can understand a breach of national security even when their Social Security office is closed and a lot of people want Trump to fire Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth even though Trump said he was told no classified information was included in the unsecure chat of the bombing of Yemen’s Houthis, which, it being a warlike act, one might expect the chief executive to be in on the action, and the group was caught with their collective pants down when the journalist, Jeffrey Goldberg, editor of The Atlantic magazine, followed up his original story on being mysteriously included on the chat by publishing the entire thread since Trump said it wasn’t classified, although having the sense to redact the name of an undercover CIA agent that Tulsi Gabbard, director of intelligence, happened to drop into the chat, although she couldn’t remember much of anything when members of Congress asked her about it, which was reminiscent of Trump’s response when he couldn’t remember signing an order citing an old wartime act to justify shipping a couple of hundred migrants, who may or may not be members of a Venezuelan gang, to a brutal prison in El Salvador, despite the order of a federal judge not to do so, said judge now serendipitously being the one also assigned to a case in which a private watchdog group, American Oversight, is accusing the Trump Administration of breaking the law, because all intergovernmental communications are required to be preserved, while the beauty of the Signal chat app the war group used is that it eventually deletes all conversations, making it hard to be held accountable, which is why, of course, the aforesaid judge has ordered all members of the chat to preserve everything on their phones and as he is already ticked at being given the runaround by Trump’s lawyers on the deportation matter, was in no mood for any more nonsense on a serious national security issue, which is why hardly anybody knows that poor Elise Stefanik of upstate New York, who did a victory tour of the Adirondacks and fired most of her congressional staff to become part of Trump’s cabinet, is now being told to be patient, go back to Congress even though you’ve lost your leadership position, be a good soldier  and run again for Congress in two years, because we are afraid that we can lose your seat, even though you and Trump carried the district easily, if somebody new runs for the Republican Party, and we only have a couple of seats to spare to control the House of Representatives and heck, you understand it’s all politics, and if we lose control in two years, we can’t do any of the neat crap we’ve been doing — firing people, threatening Greenland — and then you’ll probably never get to be UN ambassador anyway, so please and thank you, Elise.

                    ***

PS: You think it’s easy covering these people?

By Bob Gaydos

The unmistakable Trump signature.

 “I don’t know when it was signed, because I didn’t sign it.”

   That was Donald Trump last Friday on the South Lawn of the White House as he left for another weekend of golfing.

   The “it” that he denied signing was a proclamation invoking the Alien Enemies Act to round up and swiftly deport 261 migrants, men and women, his administration says are members of a violent gang from Venezuela. No warrants, no charges, no evidence, no hearings … off to a brutal prison in El Salvador.

    Trump had been asked about the proclamation because a federal judge had ordered the government to hold off on the deportation and provide some legal justification before proceeding, all of which had been ignored.

   District Judge James E. Boasberg asked why the proclamation was “essentially signed in the dark” so that flights could begin immediately. The judge was furious at being stonewalled in court by lawyers for the White House on when they received his orders and why they didn’t turn the planes around. Also, why this ancient law was resurrected as justification.

     So, a rare reporter doing his job asked the person who signed the proclamation when he signed it.

     Not me, said Trump, who holds the title of president and would customarily be the person to sign such an order.

   “Other people handled it,” Trump said. “But Marco Rubio’s done a great job. And he wanted them out, and we go along with that. We want to get criminals out of our country.”

     Interestingly, Trump’s well-known signature does appear on the digital image of the proclamation available for viewing with the Federal Register. More directly to the point, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung said Trump did actually, personally sign the proclamation.

     Cheung tried to deflect from his discrepancy with his boss by saying Trump meant he didn’t sign the actual proclamation, which was declared in 1798. No one was buying that baloney.

      So what’s going on here? There are several options. 

      Whether Trump actually signed the proclamation or not, at this point there is no satisfactory answer to that question.

      — Trump signed it and forgot. Hardly reassuring for someone occupying the Oval Office. Invoking a wartimes act to deport a couple of hundred people with no legal justification being presented is lawlessness personified. If he forgot, then there are legitimate questions about his mental capabilities. It’s the kind of thing he always accused Joe Biden of. Given Trump’s ramblings on other occasions, his mental capacity seems more than suspect. Someone in Congress should ask for a competency test.

  — He signed it and lied about it because of all the negative publicity arising from the judge’s growing anger over White House lawyers refusing to comply with his order. Trump passed the buck to Marco Rubio, just like he always passed the buck to Rudy Giuliani. Closest person always gets tossed under the bus. Trump never takes responsibility for unpopular actions. This is not good news for Rubio, who apparently agreed to trade his genitals and backbone for the title of secretary of state.

  — Cheung lied. An autopen was used to provide Trump’s signature, because staff members thought either he wouldn’t understand the ramifications, or would confuse the issue, or they just didn’t want to waste time to try to track Trump down to get a signature when the planes were on the runway. Or, they didn’t feel it was necessary to get his actual signature, just chalk the whole thing up, like all the other stuff, to the campaign. Page whatever. Getting rid of bad immigrants. He’ll be fine with that. Get the autopen! This is the one I suspect is true.

    —  Who’s in charge here?

                                        ***

PS: No bullet ever touched his ear.

Addiction and Recovery

By Bob Gaydos

“I’m a single mom. I work hard. I deserve it.”

   Perhaps lost to the public in the daily onslaught of massive cuts to the workforces of federal agencies is the 10 percent reduction, with the threat of possibly another 50 percent to come in one of the smaller, but not unimportant, agencies: SAMHSA.

    SAMHSA stands for Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. It is part of the federal government’s health network. Its mission:  “To lead public health and service delivery efforts that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and provide treatment and support to foster recovery while ensuring equitable access and better outcomes.” It used to say for all.

     Like other federal agencies, SAMHSA employees say they can’t effectively deliver on their mission without sufficient resources.  Among the services provided to local mental health agencies and local governments are the 24-hour suicide hotline and information and resources to deal with drug addiction and alcoholism.

      Seeing as the new health commissioner, Bobby Kennedy Jr., has a history of drug addiction, and tea-totaler Donald Trump has an oft-stated fear of alcohol and alcoholism, having watched his brother Fred die in his 40s of the disease, it’s surprising to me that they would want to weaken this particular agency. 

   Then again, maybe Elon Musk didn’t tell them about these cuts and resents Kennedy reviving studies to try to tie the use of vaccines to autism, a theory long disproved.

    In any event, one of the useful services provided by SAMHSA is a self-test to determine if you have a problem with alcohol. I’ve run the test a number of times in this column and it seems to be an appropriate time to do it again. It’s called AUDIT.

       AUDIT stands for alcohol use disorders identification test. It’s the most widely used test in the world and is compiled by the World Health Organization. Shhh. Don’t tell Trump.

       And be honest.

The AUDIT

Please circle the answer that is correct for you

1. How often do you have a drink containing alcohol?

• Never
• Monthly or less
• 2-4 times a month
• 2-3 times a week
• 4 or more times a week

2. How many standard drinks containing alcohol do you have on a typical day when drinking?

• 1or2
• 3or4
• 5or6
• 7to9
• 10 or more

3. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?

• Never
• Less than monthly
• Monthly
• Weekly
• Daily or almost daily

4. During the past year, how often have you found that you were not able to stop drinking once you had started?

• Never
• Less than monthly
• Monthly
• Weekly
• Daily or almost daily

5. During the past year, how often have you failed to do what was normally expected of you because of drinking?

• Never
• Less than monthly
• Monthly
• Weekly
• Daily or almost daily

6. During the past year, how often have you needed a drink in the morning to get yourself going after a heavy drinking session?

• Never
• Less than monthly
• Monthly
• Weekly
• Daily or almost daily

7. During the past year, how often have you had a feeling of guilt or remorse after drinking?

• Never
• Less than monthly
• Monthly
• Weekly
• Daily or almost daily

8. During the past year, have you been unable to remember what happened the night before because you had been drinking?

• Never
• Less than monthly
• Monthly
• Weekly
• Daily or almost daily

9. Have you or someone else been injured as a result of your drinking?

• No
• Yes, but not in the past year
• Yes, during the past year

10. Has a relative or friend, doctor or other health worker been concerned about your drinking or suggested you cut down?

• No
• Yes, but not in the past year
• Yes, during the past year

Scoring the AUDIT

Scores for each question range from 0 to 4, with the first response for each question (eg never) scoring 0, the second (eg less than monthly) scoring 1, the third (eg monthly) scoring 2, the fourth (eg weekly) scoring 3, and the last response (eg. daily or almost daily) scoring 4. For questions 9 and 10, which only have three responses, the scoring is 0, 2 and 4.

The range of possible scores is from 0 to 40, with 0 indicating an abstainer who has never had any problems from alcohol. A score of 1 to 7 suggests low-risk consumptions, according to World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines. Scores from 8 to 14 suggest hazardous or harmful alcohol consumption and a score of 15 or more indicates the likelihood of alcohol dependence (moderate-severe alcohol use disorder).

If your score concerns you, there is help available. Talk with your primary care doctor. Call an Alcoholics Anonymous hotline in your area. Call a mental health crisis hotline if one is available.

   Excessive alcohol use is now classified as a mental disorder by health officials, somewhat in response to the stigma attached to the word “alcoholic.”  However, most recovering members of Alcoholics Anonymous have no problem with identifying as such. In any case, it is not a moral failing. It can be treated. First, it has to be acknowledged.

    Again, be honest.

By Bob Gaydos

Gene Hackman roles.

Keeping up with the news is challenging, but it’s a lot more secure than a job with the federal government these days. That said, some thoughts on some recent events, with a deep bow to the late, great Jimmy Cannon.

— Maybe it’s just me, but: Chuck Schumer was right when he called the decision to vote in favor of a terrible Republican budget bill to keep the government open or to vote against it and give Trump even more power over government spending than he has already exercised “no choice at all.” Still, the Senate Minority leader had to choose and decided to vote against a shutdown and for the bill. He convinced enough Democrats to join him for the bill to proceed. In an op ed piece in The New York Times, Schumer said, “A shutdown would give Mr. Trump and Mr. Musk permission to destroy vital government services at a significantly faster rate than they can right now. Under a shutdown, the Trump administration would have wide-ranging authority to deem whole agencies, programs and personnel nonessential, furloughing staff members with no promise they would ever be rehired.” Voting against the bill would’ve shut down the government for who knows how long and Republicans would have forever blamed the Democrats, even though, as the party in control, it was Republicans’ responsibility to make something happen. Tough call. House Democrats could safely vote against the bill unanimously, knowing it still had to pass the Senate. Schumer knew he’d get heat, but chose what he saw as the lesser of two evils. Hard to argue with that.

— Maybe it’s just me, but: If Jeff Bezos is going to run a documentary autobiography of Kay Graham on Prime Video, the least he can do is watch it so he knows what the publisher of the Washington Post is supposed to act like. Graham led the paper through the Watergate and Pentagon Papers scandals in Washington, helping forge the newspaper’s reputation as a staunch defender of the truth and a fearless foe of political corruption. Bezos folded to Trump like a cheap tent you could probably get delivered overnight from Amazon Prime. Gutless.

  — Maybe it’s just me, but: It was sad to hear of the death of Gene Hackman at 94, especially considering the details of his demise. In honor of his memory, we held a mini-marathon of the two-time Oscar winner’s films. None of the really big ones. We watched “Enemy of the State,” also starring Will Smith and Jon Voight; “Get Shorty,” also starring John Travolta and Danny DeVito; and “Crimson Tide,” also starring Denzel Washington. All enjoyable. Gene hung out in good company. I got voted down on “The French Connection.”

   — Maybe it’s just me, but: I still call it the Gulf of Mexico.

   — Maybe it’s just me, but: The Yankees decision to no longer play Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York” after a home game when the team loses was the right thing to do. A suggestion for what to play instead on those losing occasions might be Sinatra‘s “That’s Life.” They could also apply that philosophy to all the injuries the team has suffered in spring training.

  — Maybe it’s just me, but: Hawking Teslas on the lawn of the White House like some cheesy used car salesman is not only demeaning to the office of the president, but it’s probably illegal, no?

By Bob Gaydos

Fighting measles, the RFK Jr. way.
RJPhotography

   I got sidetracked from following the all-Trump-all-the-time news cycle recently because I was doing less exciting things like filling the bird feeders, cleaning the fish tank, walking the dogs, picking up a book, so I had to do a real quick catching up on the big stuff.

   For starters, I’m proud to report that, as per advice from our new Health Secretary, Bobby Worm Brain Kennedy Jr., I have been taking my cod liver oil capsule daily so that I do not catch measles … again. If that’s possible. Had it when I was a kid.

  I understand a lot of children in Texas have recently contracted the disease for some reason and that one child has died. That’s surprising in this day and age. Reports said the children’s parents, as with most of the others affected,  agreed with the new health czar’s philosophy of not vaccinating their children, but maybe they forgot about the cod liver oil. Sad.

   I also learned that Trump, after taking back his threat to impose tariffs on Canada, Mexico, China and I can’t remember who else when those countries said they’d do the same, then reinstated the threat only to change his mind again when The Wall Street Journal said it was a stupid idea and the Stock Market tanked. I think that’s what happened. 

   You know, if I had a suspicious mind, I might suspect the felon was manipulating the market for those in the know — like friendly billionaires — who could buy lots of shares when his tariff threat drove prices down, then sell them when his, um, surprise change of mind, sent the ever-reactive market up again. But that wouldn’t be legal, would it? Guess we’ll have to stay tuned on this one.

      I also read that all is not so lovey-dovey in MAGA world regarding some things Trump’s prime minister, Elon Musk, has done. The Supreme Court, of all things, acted as the, well, supreme, decider and said Musk/Trump could not just cancel payment of funds approved by Congress and owed under contracts for USAID programs. That’s the country’s soft foreign aid program, helping countless people around the globe.

     A federal judge had already ruled that the funds could not be canceled and Trump appealed to his presumed buddies in robes so he could stiff the contractors, per usual, and got a surprise when Chief Justice John Roberts and Trump-appointed Justice Amy Coney Barrett joined the three liberal justices in agreeing with the judge in Rhode Island.

    The 5-4 ruling included instructions for the judge to figure out who should get paid, when, etc. I understand that this ruling may have had something to do with Trump snubbing Barrett at his State of the Union ramble. But that would be really petty, no?

    That USAID flap apparently also came up at a Cabinet meeting (and wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall for that), when Marco Rubio, the actual Secretary of State, complained that Musk, was firing people at State who did actual work and that it was supposed to be Rubio’s job to decide. A couple of other Cabinet members also apparently had their Wheaties that day and said the same thing and Trump apparently said play nice, children. According to reports leaked to The New York Times, Trump actually said that Musk, who still has no actual federal job and reportedly wore a suit to the meeting, wouldn’t fire anybody anymore and that Rubio, Kennedy et al could run their departments.

  There’s also apparently no truth to the rumor that Kennedy blamed Musk’s autism spectrum disorder and his sometimes out-of-sync social behavior on a vaccine. Yet.

      There, I think that catches me up as much as I really want to right now.

By Bob Gaydos

    Wouldst it were warmer there would have been waves on the pond ‘stead of windblown trees waving frantically at me. Bending and waving. Bending and waving. More and more …

   Somewhere, there’s a metaphor, I thought.

    And, I thought, were I a poet, like Kevin, Mary or Zack, this essay would rhyme or soar with visions of Greek something-or-others. But, alack, I’m not, so it won’t.

    But this morning there’s ice on the pond, wind in the trees, and, oh yes, so many hungry birds to feed.

    The first, a surprise. A finch, its head and shoulders shoved as far as birdly possible up the feeder looking for… food! Please! I thought for a minute she was stuck. Good luck. Startled by me, she withdrew and flew away, leaving me to my chore.

      Feeder filled, in they all flew. Back came the finch. Then, Blue Jays and sparrows and yellow-bellied whatnots, red-tufted thingamajigs, one stunning creature with a bright, red head, many more sparrows, a cardinal, a red-winged blackbird, something blue, something new, and, wrens? I don’t know, but look out below! Here come the blackbirds. As always, ever more.

     On to feeders two and three. They are, the birds, I can tell, thrilled to see me. Manners have quickly gone with the wind. First come, first served. Plenty for everybody, guys! Eat the droppings off the floor.

     It’s a happy, bustling, wind-blown scene. Mission accomplished. Back inside go I. But wait, what’s that I spy? ‘Tisn’t spring, but I’m pretty sure those are croci. Yep, pretty sure.

    Because, what the heck rhymes with crocuses?

                                   ***

(Note to my numerous poet and bird-watching friends: With profound respect, I humbly apologize for this. Don’t know what came over me. Meant all in fun and wishing I knew more about both.)

By Bob Gaydos

    Really?

    He declared English the “official language” of The United States? The guy who can’t finish a sentence without wandering through three wildernesses? The guy whose most ardent supporters don’t know their “they’res” from their “theres”?

    What does it mean? Does it mean you’ll get kicked out of the country if you can’t speak English? Does it mean  you’ll have to pass a test to prove you can speak English? Does it mean they’ll start insisting that you’ll actually have to be able to speak and write relatively correct English in order to graduate from high school? That would improve some of the discourse on social media.

    As usual, it’s kind of a broad statement from the “Covfefe” guy. Sounds important, but really just plays to the anti-immigrant tenor of the MAGA base. Still, if it makes them brush up on their pronouns and improves Americans’ communications skills in general, it could be a good thing.

    In fact, without meaning to, the guy has already made a significant contribution to our knowledge of our “official” language. I wrote about that in 2019, back in his first term of office. I’ve re-posted that column below. It still applies. His stuff always does. A couple of the names might need to be changed, but their replacements are carbon copies, so I mostly didn’t bother. Read and learn. Who knows, there may be a quiz.

                              ***

Vocabulary for the Trump era

        In the category of nothing is ever all good or all bad (I keep trying), have you noticed a marked improvement in your vocabulary since the man with “all the best words” moved in to the White House?

        Seriously. It struck me the other day as I was reading the daily disaster report that people — not just reporters or TV and radio commentators — regular people were reading, hearing, using and even understanding words, many of which have never been routine in American conversation. It started with “narcissist” and “misogynist,” but the vocabulary lesson has expanded exponentially (see what I mean?) since the news cycle has become all Trump all the time. I mean, “quisling,” really?

      I started compiling a list of words that were previously not your normal fare in your daily paper, including some words I had to look up (using Wikipedia and various legitimate online dictionaries), and decided I might as well share them. Who knows, maybe an English teacher will see it and want to help some students better understand what the grownups have done to the world. If you feel daring, test your partner. Here’s my list (including examples), starting with the two aforementioned words, which are now household staples:

       — Misogynist. From Wikipedia: “Misogyny is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. Misogyny manifests in numerous ways, including social exclusion, sex discrimination, hostility, androcentrism, patriarchy, male privilege, belittling of women, disenfranchisement of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification.” It’s Trump’s middle name and now the whole world is aware of what misogyny looks like in practice. That’s a good thing if steps are taken to combat it, which appears to be happening (#metoo).

       — Narcissist. From Psychology Today: ”The hallmarks of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. They may also have grandiose fantasies and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. These characteristics typically begin in early adulthood and must be consistently evident in multiple contexts, such as at work and in relationships. People with NPD … tend to seek excessive admiration and attention and have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat.” Mussolini comes to mind or, well, you know.

      — Quisling. Turns out we’ve got a bunch of them in the USA. Vidkun Abraham Lauritz Jonssøn Quisling was a Norwegian military officer and politician who was head of the government of Norway during Nazi Germany’s occupation of the country during World War II. Actually, he was a figurehead who collaborated with the Nazis in every way, including the killing of Jews and others. After the war, he was tried and convicted of murder and treason and was executed. His name became synonymous for collaborator and traitor. Until recently, there hasn’t been much call for “quisling,” but Trump, Mitch McConnell, Lindsay Graham, and the guy Trump wanted to run the CIA, among others, have given new life to it. I could have lived my life without wanting to get the history of this word. ( OK, I lied. Add J.D.Vance.)

       — Sycophant. While we have Lindsay Graham available as a perfect example, why not give a dictionary description of a sycophant: “A person who acts obsequiously (I’ll get to that) toward someone important in order to gain advantage. Synonyms: toady, creep, crawler, fawner, flatterer, flunkey, truckler, groveller, doormat, lickspittle, kowtower, obsequious person, minion, hanger-on, leech, puppet, spaniel …” Add the entire Trump cabinet and staff and most Republicans in Congress.

     — Obsequious. Again, just dictionaries here: “Obsequious people are usually not being genuine; they resort to flattery and other fawning ways to stay in the good graces of authority figures. An obsequious person can be called a bootlicker, a brownnoser or a toady.” Our man Lindsay again and let’s add Mick Mulvaney, Trump’s acting chief of staff and bootlicker par excellence.

      — Nativist. “Relating to or supporting the policy of protecting the interests of native-born or established inhabitants against those of immigrants. Example. ‘He has made his nativist beliefs known through his divisive comments about immigrants.’” The Republican Party and MAGA hat wearers who are still waiting for the wall are perfect examples.

       — Xenophobe. “A person who fears or hates foreigners, people from different cultures, or strangers. A person who fears or dislikes the customs, dress, etc., of people who are culturally different.” The same folks as above. Stephen Miller to be sure.

        — Asylum. Here’s one every American should learn. “The right of asylum is an ancient juridical concept, under which a person persecuted by one’s own country may be protected by another sovereign authority, such as another country or church official, who in medieval times could offer sanctuary. 

      “The United States recognizes the right of asylum of individuals as specified by international and federal law. A specified number of legally defined refugees who apply for refugee status overseas, as well as those applying for asylum after arriving in the U.S., are admitted annually. Since World War II, more refugees have found homes in the U.S. than any other nation and more than two million refugees have arrived in the U.S. since 1980.”

        — Oligarchy. “A small group of people having control of a country, organization, or institution. … Oligarchy is from the Greek word oligarkhes, and it means ‘few governing.’ Three of the most well-known countries with oligarchies are Russia, China, and Iran. Other examples are Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and apartheid South Africa. Trump leans to the Russian and Saudi versions, although he admires certain things about the others. He would probably have been comfortable with apartheid South Africa.

         — Plutocracy. “Government by the rich or the wealthy class. Oligarchy is not necessarily just the wealthy. If a system of plutocracy and oligarchy occurred at the same time (government by a few wealthy people), it would be termed a …

        — Plutarchy. Again, I refer you to Trump’s cabinet, the Koch brothers, and various wealthy interests who have been able to buy power thanks to the Supreme Court’s Citizens United ruling. (OK, yes, Elon.)

         — Nepotism. “The practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives or friends, especially by giving them jobs.” Especially for which they are unqualified. Trump is a master at keeping it in the family (his own and Fox News) in the White House. Ivanka, Jared, Larry Kudlow.

        —  Emoluments. (Tell me you knew what this meant before Trump.) “The emoluments clause, also called the foreign emoluments clause, is a provision of the U.S. Constitution (Article I, Section 9, Paragraph 8) that generally prohibits federal officeholders from receiving any gift, payment, or other thing of value from a foreign state or its rulers, officers, or representatives. It prohibits those holding offices of profit or trust under the United States from accepting ‘any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever’ from ‘any . . foreign State’ unless Congress consents.” Every stay at a Trump hotel, round of golf at a Trump golf course by the Saudis, the Russians, the Turks, the Chinese … goes into his bank account and he won’t share his income tax returns.

        — Exculpable. (Same category as emoluments.) To exculpate is “to clear from a charge of guilt or fault; free from blame; vindicate.” The person is thus exculpable, something Trump claims Robert Mueller found him. Not true. (Chief Justice John Roberts did it the second time around for Trump.)

        — Propaganda. “Information that is intended to persuade an audience to accept a particular idea or cause, often by using biased material or by stirring up emotions — one of the most powerful tools the Nazis used to consolidate their power and cultivate an ‘Aryan national community’ in the mid-1930s. … the manipulation of the recipient’s emotions in order to win an argument, especially in the absence of factual evidence.” Fox News and Trump and rightwing radio hosts spew it. Trump has even talked about setting up a government broadcast agency to counter the “fake news” of  mainstream media.

         — Brainwash. More commonly known, but worth putting in context. “To make people believe only what you want them to believe by continually telling them that it is true and preventing any other information from reaching them: Could it be that we’re brainwashed to accept these things?”

      Again, Fox News — 24 hours a day of fake news right out of George Orwell. Also, Trump’s pathological lying. Second definition: “A method for systematically changing attitudes or altering beliefs, originated in totalitarian countries, especially through the use of torture, drugs, or psychological-stress techniques.” The Manchurian Candidate, or, perhaps, Putin’s Puppet. Once a far-fetched idea.

        — Hypocrite. “1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion. 2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.” Trump of course, but here we’re referring to evangelical Christian leaders who kiss Trump’s ring and conservative, family values-spouting Republicans who do likewise.

         — Penultimate. Nothing to do with Trump, just a word I like. “As both an adjective and a noun, penultimate means next to the last. (Penultimate is not more ultimate than ultimate.)” In other words, this lesson is almost over. Just one more paragraph and thanks for staying with me.

        — Dotard. Kim Jong-un’s name for Trump. “The insult is centuries old, appearing in medieval literature from the ninth century. Searches for the term have spiked since Kim resurrected it. Merriam-Webster: “A state or period of senile decay marked by decline of mental poise.” Side note: Kim didn’t say the word. The North Korean state news agency, KCNA, offered it as the English translation of Kim’s Korean insult, which literally is “old lunatic.” Works for me in any language.

By Bob Gaydos

Governor Kathy Hochul says New York is suing the would-be king.

 I don’t know how it happened, what with the world on a 24-hour what-the- hell-did-he-do-now news cycle, but I somehow managed to miss a cycle or two and found myself scrambling to catch up. I apparently got some laundry and food shopping done and connected with a few friends, so it was time well spent. Still, life as we know it, you know?

     I realized I had had a news blackout when an image of Trump on the cover of Time Magazine (renamed “Trump”) showed up on my phone. (Remember when it was just spam calls?) He was wearing a smile and a crown. The headline said, “Long live the king.”

      That was fast, I thought. What else had I missed? Of course, I quickly discovered it was a mockup of Time put out by the White House, but the guy had actually uttered the words. Or rather, typed them on his social media platform: “CONGESTIONPRICING IS DEAD. Manhattan, and all of New York, is SAVED. LONG LIVE THE KING!”

   Having decreed New York City “saved” from its traffic issue, even though it’s none of his business (New York is suing), I learned Trump had also wandered into the wilderness in Ukraine, declaring that its president Volodymer Zelenskyy was “a dictator” and that Ukraine had actually started the war with Russia, apparently by letting itself be invaded by Vladimir Putin’s troops.

    This last bit of historical rewriting actually prompted a few Republican lawmakers to snap their suspenders and disagree publicly with their leader. I also found that his not so vague attempt at extorting valuable minerals from Ukraine in exchange for possibly continued U.S. support in the war, prompted some speculation that Trump was a Russian asset. A Putin puppet.

    Shocking!

    Actually, I was not at all surprised to learn this information because I have been convinced that Trump has been somehow compromised by Putin ever since their private meeting in Helsinki in 2018.

     I’ve said it before more than once and I’m saying it yet again — Putin emerged from that meeting looking like he had swallowed, not the canary, but the American eagle, and Trump looked like a teenaged boy who had just been caught doing something best done in private and was going to be blackmailed for it for the rest of his life.

      Just because “The Manchurian Candidate” was a movie doesn’t mean it couldn’t be happening before our very eyes. Especially with an ego-driven, cowardly person like Trump. Putin owns Trump. It’s not just Trump’s admiration for “strong“ leaders, I don’t think. Putin’s got the goods on Trump and Trump has been trying to satisfy his master, by sabotaging NATO and refusing to support Ukraine, among other things. Some might scoff that this is just another wild conspiracy theory (the bullet never hit him) and I’ve mocked conspiracy theorists myself. But it’s not a theory when it’s staring us in the face.

      But, as I said, that’s old news. Back in my news blackout I also apparently missed Trump firing the general heading the Joint Chiefs of Staff because he’s black and the heads of the Navy and Coast Guard because they’re women and replacing them with less qualified white men. Because DEI.

    But the real shocker came in the area I go to for escape from unsettling news. Sports. Apparently, after six decades and a bunch of championships, I learned the New York Yankees have lifted their ban on facial hair among players. Wow! This was even more shocking than reading about robot umpires being tested. Hal Steinbrenner Jr., team owner, has altered the policy initiated by his father to now allow facial hair as long as beards are “well trimmed.” I guess the players are happy.

      I’m not sure how I feel about this. The Yankee haters will have lost one of their major talking points. On the other hand, there’s something to be said for tradition and daring to be different. Maybe they’ll just have to go back to winning championships again. That would be nice.

    And maybe I need to stay on top of the news a little better because this catching up on stuff could drive a lesser person to drink. (Wink, wink.)

PS: The bullet never did hit him.

By Bob Gaydos

Obsolete

   So this is a bit awkward.

     With all the mean, stupid, harmful, unconstitutional stuff being thrown at the wall each day by Trump, there is actually one, less outrageous proposal, with which I agree. Getting rid of the penny.

        Two weeks shy of 12 years ago, I wrote a column calling for exactly the same thing for exactly the same reason Trump gave — it costs more to mint pennies than they are actually worth. I said they were obsolete. I wrote: “It’s simple: The penny can’t buy anything today. It is a nuisance, forming colonies on dresser tops and deli counters. Merchants routinely round their prices to avoid it. And it costs 2.41 cents to mint every penny. That’s a hefty loss for a nation struggling with a debt ceiling.”

      The cost of a penny has since risen to 3.69 cents, according to the Mint, which issued three billion pennies last year for a loss of $85.3 million. The Mint also figures there were about 250 billion pennies in circulation last year. Well, many of those were still on dresser tops or in cups on deli counters. And merchants still look to round their prices (up) to avoid pennies.

      So, if Elon and Donald are serious about cutting federal spending, there’s an easy, if not spectacular way, to start. There would still be plenty of pennies in circulation for collectors and merchants could continue to round up for cash customers until the pennies disappear. That’s what Canada did 11 years ago.

      But, as typical with Trump, there’s a problem.

      He said he has ordered Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent to stop producing new pennies to help reduce government spending. The problem is it doesn’t work that way. The president doesn’t control the minting of coins, Congress does. Sound familiar? This means Trump would have to actually work with both parties in Congress to get a bill to manage this relatively minor budget cut.

      Let me rephrase that. He’d have to order Republicans in Congress to make it happen and, while they have been obedient to their leader in terms of not criticizing his haphazard attempts at “budget cutting” or rejecting his Cabinet nominations, today’s Republican Party is skilled at killing Democrat-proposed bills, but has proven to be pathetic at actually passing meaningful legislation.

      That’s because, like the penny, it too is obsolete. I said so in the  same column relegating the penny to the history books. I wrote: “The Republican Party: Talk about obsolete. The 21st century version of the party of Lincoln has been hijacked by haters, nay-sayers, evangelists, wealthy bullies and Flat Earthers. Anything, anyone, any idea that does not fit their narrow view of life is automatically a threat and subject to loud assault, not debate. It has no interest in working with others to better life for all Americans. It has no interest, in fact, in working with anyone who disagrees with its views.”

     That was more than three years before Trump rode down that escalator and the party has become much worse with him as its leader-who-cannot-be-questioned. As a partner in a two-party system, the GOP has lost all credibility.

      I also wrote: “Few Republicans talk about changing the party’s stances on some issues, such as immigration, abortion or gay marriage. Those who do are subjected to attack, ridicule and phony allegations. In fact, facts have little currency in the current GOP. The best thing would be for the Republicans with a brain, a heart and a sense of obligation to actual governing to form a new party.”

      That option remains, but I don’t know if Liz Cheney wants the aggravation. She could try Trump’s approach — throw a bunch of stuff at the wall and see if anything sticks. Or she could ask around quietly among possibly like-minded Republicans: Penny for your thoughts.

    Best hurry while they still remain. The pennies and the pols.

                                    ***

(Full disclosure: That column also called cursive writing obsolete and urged abandoning it. I have since retracted that position as premature and dumb.)