By Bob Gaydos

Fighting measles, the RFK Jr. way.
RJPhotography

   I got sidetracked from following the all-Trump-all-the-time news cycle recently because I was doing less exciting things like filling the bird feeders, cleaning the fish tank, walking the dogs, picking up a book, so I had to do a real quick catching up on the big stuff.

   For starters, I’m proud to report that, as per advice from our new Health Secretary, Bobby Worm Brain Kennedy Jr., I have been taking my cod liver oil capsule daily so that I do not catch measles … again. If that’s possible. Had it when I was a kid.

  I understand a lot of children in Texas have recently contracted the disease for some reason and that one child has died. That’s surprising in this day and age. Reports said the children’s parents, as with most of the others affected,  agreed with the new health czar’s philosophy of not vaccinating their children, but maybe they forgot about the cod liver oil. Sad.

   I also learned that Trump, after taking back his threat to impose tariffs on Canada, Mexico, China and I can’t remember who else when those countries said they’d do the same, then reinstated the threat only to change his mind again when The Wall Street Journal said it was a stupid idea and the Stock Market tanked. I think that’s what happened. 

   You know, if I had a suspicious mind, I might suspect the felon was manipulating the market for those in the know — like friendly billionaires — who could buy lots of shares when his tariff threat drove prices down, then sell them when his, um, surprise change of mind, sent the ever-reactive market up again. But that wouldn’t be legal, would it? Guess we’ll have to stay tuned on this one.

      I also read that all is not so lovey-dovey in MAGA world regarding some things Trump’s prime minister, Elon Musk, has done. The Supreme Court, of all things, acted as the, well, supreme, decider and said Musk/Trump could not just cancel payment of funds approved by Congress and owed under contracts for USAID programs. That’s the country’s soft foreign aid program, helping countless people around the globe.

     A federal judge had already ruled that the funds could not be canceled and Trump appealed to his presumed buddies in robes so he could stiff the contractors, per usual, and got a surprise when Chief Justice John Roberts and Trump-appointed Justice Amy Coney Barrett joined the three liberal justices in agreeing with the judge in Rhode Island.

    The 5-4 ruling included instructions for the judge to figure out who should get paid, when, etc. I understand that this ruling may have had something to do with Trump snubbing Barrett at his State of the Union ramble. But that would be really petty, no?

    That USAID flap apparently also came up at a Cabinet meeting (and wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall for that), when Marco Rubio, the actual Secretary of State, complained that Musk, was firing people at State who did actual work and that it was supposed to be Rubio’s job to decide. A couple of other Cabinet members also apparently had their Wheaties that day and said the same thing and Trump apparently said play nice, children. According to reports leaked to The New York Times, Trump actually said that Musk, who still has no actual federal job and reportedly wore a suit to the meeting, wouldn’t fire anybody anymore and that Rubio, Kennedy et al could run their departments.

  There’s also apparently no truth to the rumor that Kennedy blamed Musk’s autism spectrum disorder and his sometimes out-of-sync social behavior on a vaccine. Yet.

      There, I think that catches me up as much as I really want to right now.

By Bob Gaydos

    While I’ve been spending the holidays toning up my chopsticks skills (Tuesday-Korean; Wednesday-Japanese; Thursday-Chinese vegan), the rest of the world has apparently been going to hell in a handbasket.

      Let’s see if I can catch up. Elon Musk, the president-non-elect, learned that even the richest man in the world can’t force a few hundred career politicians to shut down the United States government over the holidays. His sidekick and ceremonial president, Donald Trump, learned that those same politicians wouldn’t give him a free credit card by suspending the debt ceiling in order to keep the government open. Worthwhile lessons for all involved, including the American people who would have suffered the most.

     Not to be distracted by reality, Trump also fantasized about annexing Canada as the 51st state, seizing the Panama Canal from China and buying Greenland from Denmark. Canada, Panama, China and Denmark were not amused. The Danes, in fact, wondered what the going price might be on a somewhat worn U.S. democracy. The Mexican president had already told Trump to cool it on the tariff talk.

    Meanwhile, Russian president, Vladimir Putin ignored Trump’s election campaign claim that he’d end the war in Ukraine as soon as he was elected, never mind got sworn in. Didn’t happen. In fact, North Korea sent in some troops to help Russia fight its increasingly costly war and Putin, struggling with losses in Ukraine, abandoned his buddy Assad in Syria and let rebel forces take over the government there virtually overnight.

    Meanwhile, the other Korea, the supposedly Democratic one, saw its president declare martial law, then back down swiftly after massive demonstrations, broke out in the streets, only to eventually be impeached. But wait, there’s more. The acting president appointed to bring order from the chaos refused to appoint judges to overhear the impeachment proceedings against the martial law president. So the acting president was impeached. I have no idea where this is going, and I’m not sure the Koreans do either.

     Meanwhile, Russia’s not-nearly-as-efficient-as -everyone-thought military machine was suspected in the downing of an Azerbaijan  passenger jet that crashed in Kazakhstan, killing 38 people on board. Analysts suggested a missile from Russia’s air defense system struck the plane.

     Those Russian missiles had been used to shoot down drones flown from Ukraine. There was no word on whether the Russians were suspected in the sudden disappearance of all those hundreds of drones that were mysteriously flying over New Jersey for the past couple of weeks. And our government still wasn’t saying anything at all about them — the drones, not the Russians — except that we shouldn’t worry.

     So I’m going to try not to.        

     At least I don’t live in Mozambique where more than 6,000 prisoners, including Isis terrorists, escaped from prison as part of nationwide civil unrest over widespread voting irregularities in the country’s recent presidential election. And boy doesn’t that sound familiar?

       France avoided the bloodshed, but after a vote of no confidence removed the prime minister, a new prime minister has named a new government, fate as yet to be determined.

     So these are apparently the times that try our souls, people. But I wonder, where are the songs of protest? We Shall Overcome! Never mind where all the flowers have gone, where are the Woody Guthries, Pete Seegers, the Bob Dylans for Pete’s sake! 

     Tik-tok and Beyoncé and Taylor Swift don’t cover all the disharmony.

      President Joe Biden just formally recognized the bald eagle as the official national bird. Long overdue, I’d say,  and fitting. But that proud, beautiful bird needs a new “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” one for the 21st-century. Please!

       Meanwhile, I’m going to keep working out with my chopsticks.

By Bob Gaydos

Trump and Harris at the debate.

 “First you say you do and then you don’t.

   Then you say you will and then you won’t.

    You’re undecided now, so what are you gonna do?”

     Those are the lyrics to a song that was popular in the ‘40s and ‘50s, recorded by, among others, Ella Fitzgerald and the Ames Brothers.

       A simple song for a simpler time. Today, the song’s predicament remains the same. Someone has extreme difficulty making up his or her mind. But there is a heightened urgency to a need for the answer and growing frustration with those who can’t provide it.

        Yeah, we’re talking about those “undecided” voters who watched the recent debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris and still can’t figure out who they want to be President of the United States.

        Really?

        Harris was cool, calm and confident, exactly what one would hope of the current vice president of the United States, also a former senator and prosecutor. She spoke from experience and with compassion. She mostly didn’t try to evade questions and definitely didn’t make stuff up.

   Trump?

    On abortion: “They’re executing newborn babies.”

    Out of the blue: “They’re performing transgender operations on illegal aliens in prison.”

     Immigration: “In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs, the people that came in (Haitian immigrants). They’re eating the cats. They’re eating — they’re eating the pets of the people that live there.”

     On replacing Obamacare: Moderator (frustrated) : “So just yes or no. You do have a plan?

      Trump: “I have concepts of a plan.”

       The rest was mostly stream-of-consciousness blaming of immigrants for imagined increases in crime rates, defensiveness over the size of crowds at his rallies, mumbo jumbo about tariffs and praise for the two most dangerous leaders in Europe, Russia’s Vladimir Putin and Hungary’s Viktor Orban. Also a lot of angry faces.

        And yet, some people described by various media outlets as “undecided voters” in a very close contest, said they still haven’t decided which of the candidates they would like to hold the most powerful office on the planet. 

        Whew…. I don’t know who these people are but, you know what, I don’t believe some of them and, in these changing times, the rest will just have to change their tune and, as Paul Simon sang, “Get on the bus, Gus,” and set themselves free with President Kamala Harris.   

rjgaydos@gmail.com