Posts Tagged ‘alcohol’

Was Hegseth Acting in a Blackout?

Sunday, July 20th, 2025

Addiction and Recovery

By Bob Gaydos

Pete Hegseth … working in a blackout?

Pete Hegseth … working in a blackout?

Did Pete Hegseth recently order the cutoff of some military aid to Ukraine while he was in an alcohol-induced blackout? I posited the possibility at the tail end of a recent column about all the screwups in the Trump administration. The comment was made partially in jest, but the more I thought about it, the more serious it became a possible reality.

Did the secretary of defense of the United States of America make a life-threatening military decision while he was in an alcoholic blackout? Does anyone else wonder about that? If so, I haven’t heard or read about it. Given Hedgseth’s much-publicized reputation as a heavy drinker/alcoholic/drunk, it seems to be an important question. At least to me.

If you remember the July 7 press conference, Trump was asked who ordered the cessation of delivery of certain types of weapons, mostly missiles, to Ukraine. His answer was, “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?“

To me, a shocking response from the commander-in-chief. Later, cameras caught Trump, leaning over to Hegseth and whispering, “Do you know?“

A poker-faced Hegseth answered, “No.”

But really, how could he possibly not know? It’s his job to know. It’s his job to make recommendations of this kind of action to the president. Yet it happened and neither man knows why.

So. I suggest one man hardly ever knows why decisions like this are made and the other man was possibly in an alcoholic blackout. I’ll set aside the obvious social and political implications of this for now and talk a little bit about blackouts.

There are two enduring views about alcohol-induced blackouts:

  1. They don’t exist. They’re just an excuse for inappropriate behavior.
  2. They exist, but they’re just a harmless, often humorous, occasional price to pay for a night of fun.

Both views are wrong — dangerously so — for the same reason: Denying the existence of blackouts or minimizing their significance could lead to serious consequences (health, legal, personal, professional) for the persons experiencing them and others. If you’ve experienced blackouts or know someone who has and are not concerned about them, you should be.

To start with, blackouts are not the same as passing out. That’s a common misconception. People who drink too much and pass out stay put. They wake up in the same place they passed out and remember, maybe with a hangover, how they got there.

People in blackouts can wind up in different states, strange beds, wrong apartments or behind bars when they come to and not know how they got there.

“How did I get home last night?” is a common question for blackout veterans. “Where’d I leave my car?” is another.

Many recovering alcoholics who recall their drinking history in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings point to blackouts as one of the “healthy fears’’ that help them stay sober. After all, it can be frightening to find out about some reckless behavior that happened apparently in a blackout and to wonder what else may have happened without your being aware of it.

Some volunteered local examples:

— Jordan, a mid-50s man from Orange County, who has been sober more than ten years, says he once spent a four-day business trip in Texas in a blackout. Airport-to-airport. He did come out of it briefly, he says, to call his boss on Day 2 to tell him he wasn’t feeling well.

— Whitey (all names used are fictitious), who drives for a living, says he regularly drove routes between New York and Virginia in blackouts.

— John, retired in Sullivan County and sober more than three decades, says he’s positive he was fired from an excellent job because of remarks he made to his boss’s wife while in a blackout. “Why did you say those things?” No memory of it.

— Sunshine, a nurse sober half her life, recalls with a mix of horror and shame coming out of a blackout “as a guy was trying to have sex with me.” She says she fought him off. But she didn’t immediately stop drinking.

That’s often the case — not stopping drinking despite risky or embarrassing consequences. As an isolated incident, a blackout may not signify anything except drinking too much, too fast. Something you might want to avoid because of potential embarrassment or worse. As a pattern, it could be a sign of a more serious problem.

While it’s not just alcoholics who experience blackouts, the connection between blackouts and alcoholism or alcoholic use disorder is real and knowing some facts about the symptom could help dispel some of the myths and avoid more serious problems.

For a long time — most likely from whenever humans first discovered the mood-altering effects of wine until modern science started doing research on the brain and behavior — blackouts were regarded as just one of the possible side effects of drinking alcohol. A little fuzzy memory. No big deal. Just drink less.

When researchers began studying blackouts, however, they soon discovered that persons experiencing them didn’t have just a little amnesia. Rather, they had no recollection of certain events and, try as they might, even when told the details many times over, they had no memory of them. Their subjects didn’t forget, researchers concluded; they never formed a memory in the first place.

The prevailing accepted science, as cited by the National Institute on Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse and other similar agencies, is that persons experiencing a blackout can function and appear to be “normal” to others because their brain is operating on stored, long-term, procedural memory, but the short-term memory of what they are experiencing never gets to the hippocampus, the part of the brain that processes long-term memory.

Alcohol — especially a lot of it in a short period of time — short-circuits the process. According to the NIAAA, “As the amount of alcohol consumed increases, so does the magnitude of the memory impairments. Large amounts of alcohol, particularly if consumed rapidly, can produce partial or complete blackouts.”

More about blackouts:

— It’s not what you drink, it’s how much alcohol gets into your bloodstream and how fast it gets there. This means it’s possible for anyone to black out if he or she drinks enough alcohol quickly enough.

— People who have a low tolerance for alcohol are not necessarily more likely to black out. On the other hand, those with a high tolerance for alcohol are often able to drink heavily and carry on conversations, drive, etc. while in blackouts.

— Women may be more susceptible since they tend to be smaller than men, meaning each drink has a greater effect on the body’s blood alcohol content.

— Drinking on an empty stomach can make blackouts more likely, again because of a more acute impact on the blood alcohol concentration.

— People sometimes have glimpses of memory of an event, but not total recall. These partial lapses are called “brownouts.”

— Blackouts are the product of consumption of an amount of alcohol that affects motor coordination, balance, impulse control and decision-making. This is bad enough when someone is not in a blackout, never mind being unable to recall any risky, self-sabotaging behavior that may have caused serious harm to others.

— Some researchers suggest that people in blackouts, operating on procedural memory and little more, have little impulse control and are more likely to do things they would not otherwise. (See examples above.) This presents embarrassing, sometimes dangerous situations for the person in a blackout, family, friends and even strangers.

— Blackouts are often the unrecognized explanation for someone’s uncharacteristic actions. “Why did you (say/do) that last night?”

— Because of a shortage of evidence-based science on the subject, there is considerable difference of opinion on the use of blackouts as a defense in criminal trials.

So, what to do if you have blackouts? Take them seriously. Maybe talk to a professional health provider who knows about them. While blackouts are not solely the result of years of heavy, alcoholic drinking, they can be a sign of an existing or potential alcohol problem. Even one or two — perhaps the product of binge drinking in college — should be enough to cause concern since not being aware of what one has done is not considered acceptable to most people.

For example, possibly cutting off significant weapons shipments to a country in the middle of a war without checking with your commander-in-chief.

Again, just asking.

Amid Musk Cuts on Addiction Services, Here’s a Self-Test on Alcohol Use

Saturday, March 22nd, 2025

Addiction and Recovery

By Bob Gaydos

"I'm a single mom. I work hard. I deserve it."

“I’m a single mom. I work hard. I deserve it.”

   Perhaps lost to the public in the daily onslaught of massive cuts to the workforces of federal agencies is the 10 percent reduction, with the threat of possibly another 50 percent to come in one of the smaller, but not unimportant, agencies: SAMHSA.

    SAMHSA stands for Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. It is part of the federal government’s health network. Its mission:  “To lead public health and service delivery efforts that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and provide treatment and support to foster recovery while ensuring equitable access and better outcomes.” It used to say for all.

     Like other federal agencies, SAMHSA employees say they can’t effectively deliver on their mission without sufficient resources.  Among the services provided to local mental health agencies and local governments are the 24-hour suicide hotline and information and resources to deal with drug addiction and alcoholism.

      Seeing as the new health commissioner, Bobby Kennedy Jr., has a history of drug addiction, and tea-totaler Donald Trump has an oft-stated fear of alcohol and alcoholism, having watched his brother Fred die in his 40s of the disease, it’s surprising to me that they would want to weaken this particular agency. 

   Then again, maybe Elon Musk didn’t tell them about these cuts and resents Kennedy reviving studies to try to tie the use of vaccines to autism, a theory long disproved.

    In any event, one of the useful services provided by SAMHSA is a self-test to determine if you have a problem with alcohol. I’ve run the test a number of times in this column and it seems to be an appropriate time to do it again. It’s called AUDIT.

       AUDIT stands for alcohol use disorders identification test. It’s the most widely used test in the world and is compiled by the World Health Organization. Shhh. Don’t tell Trump.

       And be honest.

The AUDIT

Please circle the answer that is correct for you

  1. How often do you have a drink containing alcohol?
  • Never
  • Monthly or less
  • 2-4 times a month
  • 2-3 times a week
  • 4 or more times a week
  1. How many standard drinks containing alcohol do you have on a typical day when drinking?
  • 1or2
  • 3or4
  • 5or6
  • 7to9
  • 10 or more
  1. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you found that you were not able to stop drinking once you had started?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you failed to do what was normally expected of you because of drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you needed a drink in the morning to get yourself going after a heavy drinking session?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you had a feeling of guilt or remorse after drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, have you been unable to remember what happened the night before because you had been drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. Have you or someone else been injured as a result of your drinking?
  • No
  • Yes, but not in the past year
  • Yes, during the past year
  1. Has a relative or friend, doctor or other health worker been concerned about your drinking or suggested you cut down?
  • No
  • Yes, but not in the past year
  • Yes, during the past year

Scoring the AUDIT

Scores for each question range from 0 to 4, with the first response for each question (eg never) scoring 0, the second (eg less than monthly) scoring 1, the third (eg monthly) scoring 2, the fourth (eg weekly) scoring 3, and the last response (eg. daily or almost daily) scoring 4. For questions 9 and 10, which only have three responses, the scoring is 0, 2 and 4.

The range of possible scores is from 0 to 40, with 0 indicating an abstainer who has never had any problems from alcohol. A score of 1 to 7 suggests low-risk consumptions, according to World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines. Scores from 8 to 14 suggest hazardous or harmful alcohol consumption and a score of 15 or more indicates the likelihood of alcohol dependence (moderate-severe alcohol use disorder).

If your score concerns you, there is help available. Talk with your primary care doctor. Call an Alcoholics Anonymous hotline in your area. Call a mental health crisis hotline if one is available.

   Excessive alcohol use is now classified as a mental disorder by health officials, somewhat in response to the stigma attached to the word “alcoholic.”  However, most recovering members of Alcoholics Anonymous have no problem with identifying as such. In any case, it is not a moral failing. It can be treated. First, it has to be acknowledged.

    Again, be honest.

A Pardon? No sir; Recovery in Action

Wednesday, January 29th, 2025

Addiction and Recovery

By Bob Gaydos

Pam Hemphill “… we were wrong”

Pam Hemphill
“… we were wrong”

  It isn’t every day that you get to see recovery in action in a meaningful way other than someone not abusing alcohol or other drugs, which in itself is no small feat. When it does happen, though, the message is powerful.

     A couple of days after Trump pardoned all the rioters involved in the January 6, 2020, insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, one of those pardoned appeared on a TV news show to explain why she was turning down the pardon.

    My ears perked up. “It’s an insult to the Capitol Police, to the rule of law and to the nation, the woman said. I did it. I was wrong. If I accept a pardon, I’m continuing their propaganda, their gaslighting and all their falsehoods they’re putting out there about Jan. 6.”

    The woman, who was called “MAGA Granny” in some news reports at the time, wasn’t done.

     “I’ve been sober more than 40 years,” she said. “I’m a member of a 12-step group. I look at my behavior and when I’m wrong I admit it. I was wrong.”

      That was Pam Hemphill, 71, of Boise, Idaho, doing a tenth step on live TV. For those unfamiliar with it, the 10th step of Alcoholics Anonymous, which created the 12-step recovery program, and every other group which adopted them, states: “Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”

      Since Hemphill served 60 days in prison after pleading guilty for her part in the insurrection, one might question the word “promptly,” but in her case it seems to have happened as soon as she came to the realization, as she put it, “I was part of a cult.” 

    She said that she no longer supports Trump or believes his lie that the 2020 election was stolen. A retired alcohol and drug counselor, Hemphill said, “I was not a victim of Jan. 6; I was a volunteer.”

     She said she has received death threats for expressing her regrets about her actions on January 6 and that she has stopped trying to convince her former Maga allies that everything Trump said was a pack of lies, including that the election had been stolen.

  “This is part of my amends; to stand up to the facts of what really happened on Jan. 6, to stop the gaslighting and all the lies that have been perpetrated out there for their own benefits,” Hemphill further said, thereby putting AA’s eighth and ninth steps into action.

    Eight: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”

    Nine: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them, or others.”

     Making amends to the Capitol police and the rest of the nation on live TV would seem to cover eight and nine.

      Those unfamiliar with the philosophy of the 12-step program might wonder what any of this has to do with not drinking. Well, Hemphill has been through quite an ordeal, from participating in a riot at the U.S. Capitol to serving 60 days in prison (which she says was filthy), to going on TV to accept responsibility for her actions, express regret and reject a pardon and denounce the lies and cult of Trump.

  That’s a lot for anyone. Apparently, she came through it all without drinking or drugging and, in effect, a changed person.

   The 12th step speaks of “having had a spiritual awakening.” AA members say this can happen at any time. Sometimes more than once. The step also speaks of “practicing these principles in all our affairs.”

   Ah so. There’s Pam Hemphill’s recovery program in a nutshell, in meaningful action and in public. Without mentioning any group by name. This is what AA means when it describes itself as a program of attraction, not promotion. 

     Hemphill also says she voted for Kamala Harris, which was definitely the sober thing to do.

 

    

 

 

Ok, It’s Time Again for Dry January

Friday, January 3rd, 2025

Addiction and Recovery
By Bob Gaydos

(A favorite from last year that still applies.)

  82177B6B-D6C2-417C-982F-899EE49E1C21  For those looking for a New Year’s resolution that can actually be challenging to keep and potentially beneficial if done the right way, I offer some thoughts I shared when I first heard about Dry January and some new ones.

    You hang around with an experienced group of people for any amount of time, with any luck, you learn a few things. 

     I’ve been writing a column on addiction and recovery for more than 15 years. In that time, I have been fortunate to have many conversations with members of Alcoholics Anonymous who have decades of sobriety. They have freely shared some of their experience and wisdom with me.

      One bit of AA wisdom goes like this: “People who don’t have a drinking problem don’t have to control their drinking.”

       Hmmm. So why are social media and news feeds filled daily with stories on “Dry January”? Why the sudden interest in non-alcoholic beer and no-booze cocktails? What’s the big rush all of a sudden for, reportedly, thousands of people to decide to see if they can not partake of alcohol for the month of January? Last year, one poll said 41 percent of respondents planned to partake of Dry January. I couldn’t find a report on how well they did, but clearly, not drinking alcohol for one month at least is suddenly chic. 

  For what it’s worth, alcoholics, or rather, those who insist they are not alcoholics, have been taking the post-holiday challenge forever in valiant efforts to prove to themselves and (mainly) others that they can control their drinking. Often, they’ve failed. Rehab February. Others have attempted to give up drinking for Lent, for the same reason and often with the same results.

     But this is different. This is people, many apparently younger people, supposedly deciding that it might be in their best interest to abstain from or at least reduce their alcohol intake, at least for the month.

     Given recent reports on an upsurge in alcohol consumption (particularly by women) during the pandemic, an increase in alcohol-related deaths and a myth-busting report which concludes that “no amount of alcohol” is ever good for your health, going dry or easing up on alcohol for a month sounds like a reasonable idea for anyone.

      But there are risks involved and if you’re intrigued by the idea of stopping or controlling your drinking there ought to be rules. For starters, what is your purpose? Is it, as previously mentioned, to prove you don’t have a drinking problem? If so, you need to tell other people what you’re doing so there is accountability and, crucially, protection, in case a serious alcohol problem does exist. 

  Going through withdrawal symptoms from avoiding alcohol on one’s own can be painful and dangerous. Be aware of the symptoms and get professional help if they begin. Your effort may have failed, but it might have saved your life.

     If, on the other hand, the purpose is truly to see if life can be just as interesting and fun without alcohol always being involved, again, don’t do it alone. Get some friends involved. Plan alcohol-free activities. Try some of those fancy new alcohol-free “mocktails” the Dry January movement has spawned. If you’re really serious, maybe focus more on exercise. Try to get more sleep. See if you start to feel better physically and emotionally.

     Drawing again on some AA wisdom, the key to succeeding, whatever your goal, is to be honest and realistic. Whether you’re trying to not drink for a specific month or just cut back, if you find yourself drinking or thinking you’d really like to be drinking in spite of your stated goal, by all means start over again. But be aware of any recurring pattern. There may be a problem.

      On a positive note, if Dry January results in a more responsible general approach to alcohol consumption (as brewers and distillers are obliged to promote), it has to be good for society’s overall health. Excessive alcohol consumption contributes to a multitude of societal and health problems as well as highway and other accidents.

    Fad or not, the movement would also go along with the effort by health agencies and providers to remove the stigma and shame often attached to alcoholism by getting rid of the word “alcoholic,” which still conjures up negative images for many people. Today, people are diagnosed with alcohol abuse disorder, mild, moderate or severe. (Sober members of AA still call themselves alcoholics with no shame attached.)

   According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, alcohol use disorder “is a medical condition characterized by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences.”  That’s the “drinking and trouble” connection members of AA often talk about.

      On the basic issue of stopping drinking and trying to keep things simple, AA’s Third Tradition states that “the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.”

     Adding that touch of reality necessary to recovery, an AA friend asked, “Who would have a desire to stop drinking other than someone who drank too much and got in trouble over it?”

     With sincere hope for the success and good intentions of anyone participating in this year’s Dry January, that’s a question to keep in mind for anyone planning on a just plain February.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.

Is Drinking an Issue for You?

Monday, December 30th, 2024

Addiction and Recovery


By Bob Gaydos

no bar


Thanksgiving ushered in the triple-threat season, so-called by many people in recovery because of the heavy emphasis on celebration … and drinking. It’s a time for extra caution and heightened awareness of the easy access and, sometimes, emphasis on alcohol in order to protect one’s recovery.

    But it’s also a time when people not in recovery often find out, often from friends or family, that their drinking is not normal. It’s problematic. Possibly dangerous. 

   With New Year’s revelry upon us, it may be a good time for anyone wondering about his or her drinking behavior to take a self-assessment.

There are a few tests available and I’ve offered a couple previously in this column, but in the interests of time I’m presenting the shortest one here. It’s the AUDIT, offered by The World Health Organization and is the most widely used alcohol use assessment tool in the world. AUDIT stands for alcohol use disorders identification test. As always, be honest for the best result.

The AUDIT questionnaire:

Please circle the answer that is correct for you

  1. How often do you have a drink containing alcohol?
  • Never
  • Monthly or less
  • 2-4 times a month
  • 2-3 times a week
  • 4 or more times a week
  1. How many standard drinks containing alcohol do you have on a typical day when drinking?
  • 1or2
  • 3or4
  • 5or6
  • 7to9
  • 10 or more
  1. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you found that you were not able to stop drinking once you had started?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you failed to do what was normally expected of you because of drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you needed a drink in the morning to get yourself going after a heavy drinking session?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you had a feeling of guilt or remorse after drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, have you been unable to remember what happened the night before because you had been drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. Have you or someone else been injured as a result of your drinking?
  • No
  • Yes, but not in the past year
  • Yes, during the past year
  1. Has a relative or friend, doctor or other health worker been concerned about your drinking or suggested you cut down?
  • No
  • Yes, but not in the past year
  • Yes, during the past year

Scoring the audit

Scores for each question range from 0 to 4, with the first response for each question (eg never) scoring 0, the second (eg less than monthly) scoring 1, the third (eg monthly) scoring 2, the fourth (eg weekly) scoring 3, and the last response (eg. daily or almost daily) scoring 4. For questions 9 and 10, which only have three responses, the scoring is 0, 2 and 4.

Scoring the AUDIT

The range of possible scores is from 0 to 40, with 0 indicating an abstainer who has never had any problems from alcohol. A score of 1 to 7 suggests low-risk consumptions, according to World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines. Scores from 8 to 14 suggest hazardous or harmful alcohol consumption and a score of 15 or more indicates the likelihood of alcohol dependence (moderate-severe alcohol use disorder).

If your score concerns you, there is help available. Talk with your primary care doctor. Call an Alcoholics Anonymous hotline in your area. Call a mental health crisis hotline if one is available.

Excessive alcohol use is now classified as a mental disorder by health officials, somewhat in response to the stigma attached to the word “alcoholic.”  However, most recovering members of Alcoholics Anonymous have no problem with identifying as such. In any case, it is not a moral failing. It can be treated. First, it has to be acknowledged.

Again, be honest. And have a safe and sober new year.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

An Intervention for Pete Hegseth

Tuesday, December 10th, 2024

By Bob Gaydos

Pete Hegseth … taking the pledge

Pete Hegseth … taking the pledge

  If it swims like a fish, smells like a fish and drinks like a fish, you’ve got a drunken fish. Or, in this case, Pete Hegseth.

   The evidence is everywhere, starting with the fact that Donald Trump’s nominee for secretary of defense is running around apparently telling everyone that if he is confirmed as head of the most powerful military organization on the planet, he would stop drinking completely. He’s even telling people who didn’t ask him about his drinking. In fact, I’m not sure anyone asked him to stop drinking, but apparently he thinks it’s a good idea, if not a job requirement, for the secretary of defense to abstain completely from alcohol.

    Like an alcoholic. Which Hegseth apparently does not think he is because he told his colleague, Megyn Kelly, on TV, “It’s not hard for me because it’s not a problem for me.” He added: “This is the biggest deployment of my life, and there won’t be a drop of alcohol on my lips while I’m doing it.”

    Pete, Pete, Pete. Take a seat. First of all, if “it” is not a problem for you, then there’s no reason for you to abstain completely from drinking. I’m sure some secretaries of defense have had a glass of wine at some fancy dinner, someplace or other with no one raising an eyebrow.

      But if you’re swearing off, there must be some reason. Usually, that means a lot of other people have suggested or outright said you have a drinking problem.

    I’m not making this stuff up out of thin air, Pete. I’ve been writing a column about addiction and recovery for 17 years and I’ve interviewed literally dozens of members of Alcoholics Anonymous. They agree that people who don’t have a drinking problem (1) don’t accidentally wind up at AA meetings and (2) don’t feel the need to swear off drinking totally in order to get a good job or not get kicked out of the house or fired.

    Or, as The New Yorker reported, get carried to your room at a Memorial Day veterans event in Virginia Beach in 2014 because you were “totally sloshed.” Or,  had to be held back from joining female dancers on stage at a Louisiana strip club.

  Or go on the air to host a morning show on Fox TV smelling of alcohol, as colleagues reportedly complained.

   Or, as reported, be removed from leadership positions at two military veterans organizations amid allegations of financial mismanagement, inappropriate sexual behavior and, yes, drunkenness.

   I guess that’s why you’re promising to be abstinent if you’re put in charge of the Defense Department, Pete, a job for which, by the way, you are also clearly unqualified.    

    And, Pete, as long as we’re being honest here, there’s that painful note your mom sent you six years ago: “I have no respect for any man that belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around and uses women for his own power and ego.

   “You are that man (and have been for years) and as your mother, it pains me and embarrasses me to say that, but it is the sad, sad truth. I…say… get some help and take an honest look at yourself.”

    That’s the kind of behavior which experience tells usually involves alcohol. 

    There’s no time like the present, Pete. Your mom is right. Get some help and take an honest look at yourself.

     You sound like a macho guy, Pete. Do yourself a favor. Find an AA meeting, walk in quietly and take a seat and listen. You don’t have to say anything. They don’t even want to know your last name. A lot of macho guys have told me it was the hardest thing they ever did.        

     And the best.

                   ***

    As long as we’re on the subject, in the past, I’ve posted several different questionnaires used to assess whether a person has a problem with alcohol. The shortest one is the AUDIT, offered by The World Health Organization and is the most widely used alcohol use assessment tool in the world.

      AUDIT stands for alcohol use disorders identification test. This test is for Pete and anyone else wondering about a drinking problem. As always, be honest for the best result.

 

The AUDIT questionnaire:

Please circle the answer that is correct for you

  1. How often do you have a drink containing alcohol?
  • Never
  • Monthly or less
  • 2-4 times a month
  • 2-3 times a week
  • 4 or more times a week
  1. How many standard drinks containing alcohol do you have on a typical day when drinking?
  • 1or2
  • 3or4
  • 5or6
  • 7to9
  • 10 or more
  1. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you found that you were not able to stop drinking once you had started?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you failed to do what was normally expected of you because of drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you needed a drink in the morning to get yourself going after a heavy drinking session?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you had a feeling of guilt or remorse after drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, have you been unable to remember what happened the night before because you had been drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. Have you or someone else been injured as a result of your drinking?
  • No
  • Yes, but not in the past year
  • Yes, during the past year
  1. Has a relative or friend, doctor or other health worker been concerned about your drinking or suggested you cut down?
  • No
  • Yes, but not in the past year
  • Yes, during the past year

Scoring the AUDIT

   Scores for each question range from 0 to 4, with the first response for each question (eg never) scoring 0, the second (eg less than monthly) scoring 1, the third (eg monthly) scoring 2, the fourth (eg weekly) scoring 3, and the last response (eg. daily or almost daily) scoring 4. For questions 9 and 10, which only have three responses, the scoring is 0, 2 and 4.

    The range of possible scores is from 0 to 40, with 0 indicating an abstainer who has never had any problems from alcohol. A score of 1 to 7 suggests low-risk consumptions, according to World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines. Scores from 8 to 14 suggest hazardous or harmful alcohol consumption and a score of 15 or more indicates the likelihood of alcohol dependence (moderate-severe alcohol use disorder).

    If you’re concerned about your score, reread the above message to Pete. Again, be honest. And have a safe and sober holiday season.




A 12-Step Program for Republicans

Monday, January 29th, 2024

By Bob Gaydos

38E746B5-A254-42AA-9A6F-7683C3D4A74CThis column is updated from three years ago because it’s election time again and, well, denial is the first, big obstacle. Until and unless they can admit they were/are powerless over Donald Trump, Republicans have no hope of recovering. They will be forever known as Trumpaholics, people addicted to avoiding reality and destined for a life that is, by any reasonable measure, unmanageable. I cite the last eight years as evidence.

  But, as they say, there is a solution, one that has changed lives for the better for millions of people worldwide — a 12-Step program. It has worked miracles for alcoholics; it can work for Trumpaholics.

 

       I’ve written on addiction and recovery for more than 15 years. One of the recurring stories I’ve heard over that time is that the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are not just a proven way to stop drinking, but also an excellent formula for living a good life. Getting rid of the booze — or in this case, the Donald — is only the beginning. Republicans can reap these rewards, individually or as a party … but only if they really want to change.

 

        So, with a deep bow to Bill Wilson, Dr. Bob and A.A. and adapted in all humility, here are the 12 Steps of Recovery for Republicans:

 

  1. We admitted we were powerless over Trump, that our party had become unmanageable.  This state of affairs is usually evident to non-addicts of the individual’s acquaintance well before that aha! moment arrives, if it does. Members of A.A. say this is the only step they have to get perfect, for obvious reasons. If a Republican can’t admit — still — that Trump dominates his or her every political thought or action, there’s no sense going on to Step 2. Denial. However, if Republicans can look at the past eight years of saying yes to virtually everything Trump did or said and acknowledge the trouble that this blind obedience, this dependence, has caused in Republicans’ lives (broken relationships, lost jobs and opportunities, ruined reputations, trouble with the law) as well as the pain it inflicted on the lives of many others, there is hope.
  2. Came to believe that a power greater than Trump or Mitch McConnell could restore us to sanity. (No one said this was easy.) No, this does not mean everyone becoming Evangelical Christians. Quite the opposite. That would simply be swapping blind faith in Trump for blind faith in other con men and women. Give me your money and you will be saved. For a party that professes a belief in strong family values and makes a public display of respecting religious (well, Christian) teachings, this should not be a problem. Theoretically. However, I think it could be challenging to many Republicans who have become used to giving lip service to their professed religious beliefs. Skeptical alcoholics are sometimes advised to pick a higher power of their own choosing or at least to believe that someone whose sobriety they admire has such a belief. Instead of putting their hands on some charlatan’s shoulders and bowing their heads, supposedly in prayer, Republicans should look within the ranks (or without) for a source of strength, hope and faith and emulate that person. It should be someone with a sincere, demonstrated, spiritual footing. Hint: it’s not Ted Cruz. Not a Koch brother or Rupert Murdoch either. Keep looking. Someone more like Lincoln, remember? It may take a little time. That’s OK.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will, our money and our platform over to the care of whatever power we came up with in Step 2.  A key step. Last time out, Republicans did this almost accidentally with Trump. That was blind, misplaced faith in the flashy guy. No willpower, true, but no sense of shared responsibility to the greater good. This time, they need to decide to follow the lead of someone with sound moral principles and then lead their political lives accordingly. That is, decide to do the rest of the steps.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This step could be a problem for a lot of Republicans because it requires honesty. But if they want to change, they need a list of the things they want to change. For example, lying that the presidential election was stolen while knowing there was never any proof of this would be something to put high on the list. Lying is bad, even in politics. Hypocrisy is just a fancy word for lying. Also, stealing and harming others so as to benefit yourself. Breaking the law, too. Insurrection. All Trump’s pardons did not remove the guilt, they merely freed the guilty.
  5. Shared with that higher power from step two, with ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. In other words, look in the mirror and say, “I have been a self-serving, lying, backstabbing, selfish, hypocritical, cowardly son-of-a-bitch for the past four years,“ and then release a statement to that affect — in detail — on social media. Get Liz Cheney to pose in the picture with you. Piece of cake.
  6. Were entirely ready to have my higher power (with the help of a new party leader of sound moral standing) remove these defects of character. Basically, Republicans must resign themselves to the fact that they have been a group of self-serving, lying, cowardly, etc. since they chose Trump as their leader. This is the truth, the real news. When and if they accept it, they can move on to Step 7.
  7. Humbly asked him or her to remove our shortcomings. Harder than it sounds. First of all, shortcomings seldom ever really go away. They find new hiding places. Republicans will have to become aware of them and try to avoid them. Stop lying about the deficit, That’s a lifetime of work and will require humility. Good luck finding someone to explain that concept to Republicans. Again, not Ted Cruz, who confuses humiliation with humility.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Really. You don’t get to totally screw up a country and just walk away like nothing happened. Not if you want to change.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. That last part lets Republicans stay out of jail and not hurt their own family by admitting how they routinely cheated minority voters with sketchy redistricting plans and harsh voter registration laws.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when wrong promptly admitted it. This is the new way of living part of it. “I’m sorry; I was wrong.” Try not to abuse this step. Match your words with action.
  11. Sought through regular meetings and work sessions, at which an honest exchange of ideas is encouraged and welcomed, to maintain contact with our new party leader, seeking only to learn what the new Republican Party stands for and the power and courage to carry that out. Prayer and meditation wouldn’t hurt either.
  12. Having had a major reprieve and possibly a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry the new Republican Party message to Trumpaholics and others and to practice its new principles in all our affairs. One day at a time.

   That’s it. The formula for recovery for the Republican Party. But there is one thing more. With alcoholics, the drinking is just a symptom of the disease. When the drinking stops, the disease (much of the behavior) doesn’t go away. That’s why recovery is a daily practice. To avoid relapse.

 The real question for Republicans is what made them Trumpaholics in the first place.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.

Dry January: Good Luck, be Careful

Tuesday, January 9th, 2024

Addiction and Recovery
By Bob Gaydos

  82177B6B-D6C2-417C-982F-899EE49E1C21  For those looking for a New Year’s resolution that can actually be challenging to keep and potentially beneficial if done the right way, I offer some thoughts I shared last year when I first heard about Dry January and some new ones.

    You hang around with an experienced group of people for any amount of time, with any luck, you learn a few things. 

     I’ve been writing a column on addiction and recovery for more than 15 years. In that time, I have been fortunate to have many conversations with members of Alcoholics Anonymous who have decades of sobriety. They have freely shared some of their experience and wisdom with me.

      One bit of AA wisdom goes like this: “People who don’t have a drinking problem don’t have to control their drinking.”

       Hmmm. So why are social media and news feeds filled daily with stories on “Dry January”? Why the sudden interest in non-alcoholic beer and no-booze cocktails? What’s the big rush all of a sudden for, reportedly, thousands of people to decide to see if they can not partake of alcohol for the month of January? Last year, one poll said 41 percent of respondents planned to partake of Dry January. I couldn’t find a report on how well they did, but clearly, not drinking alcohol for one month at least is suddenly chic. 

  For what it’s worth, alcoholics, or rather, those who insist they are not alcoholics, have been taking the post-holiday challenge forever in valiant efforts to prove to themselves and (mainly) others that they can control their drinking. Often, they’ve failed. Rehab February. Others have attempted to give up drinking for Lent, for the same reason and often with the same results.

     But this is different. This is people, many apparently younger people, supposedly deciding that it might be in their best interest to abstain from or at least reduce their alcohol intake, at least for the month.

     Given recent reports on an upsurge in alcohol consumption (particularly by women) during the pandemic, an increase in alcohol-related deaths and a myth-busting report which concludes that “no amount of alcohol” is ever good for your health, going dry or easing up on alcohol for a month sounds like a reasonable idea for anyone.

      But there are risks involved and if you’re intrigued by the idea of stopping or controlling your drinking there ought to be rules. For starters, what is your purpose? Is it, as previously mentioned, to prove you don’t have a drinking problem? If so, you need to tell other people what you’re doing so there is accountability and, crucially, protection, in case a serious alcohol problem does exist. 

  Going through withdrawal symptoms from avoiding alcohol on one’s own can be painful and dangerous. Be aware of the symptoms and get professional help if they begin. Your effort may have failed, but it might have saved your life.

     If, on the other hand, the purpose is truly to see if life can be just as interesting and fun without alcohol always being involved, again, don’t do it alone. Get some friends involved. Plan alcohol-free activities. Try some of those fancy new alcohol-free “mocktails” the Dry January movement has spawned. If you’re really serious, maybe focus more on exercise. Try to get more sleep. See if you start to feel better physically and emotionally.

     Drawing again on some AA wisdom, the key to succeeding, whatever your goal, is to be honest and realistic. Whether you’re trying to not drink for a specific month or just cut back, if you find yourself drinking or thinking you’d really like to be drinking in spite of your stated goal, by all means start over again. But be aware of any recurring pattern. There may be a problem.

      On a positive note, if Dry January results in a more responsible general approach to alcohol consumption (as brewers and distillers are obliged to promote), it has to be good for society’s overall health. Excessive alcohol consumption contributes to a multitude of societal and health problems as well as highway and other accidents.

    Fad or not, the movement would also go along with the effort by health agencies and providers to remove the stigma and shame often attached to alcoholism by getting rid of the word “alcoholic,” which still conjures up negative images for many people. Today, people are diagnosed with alcohol abuse disorder, mild, moderate or severe. (Sober members of AA still call themselves alcoholics with no shame attached.)

   According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, alcohol use disorder “is a medical condition characterized by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences.”  That’s the “drinking and trouble” connection members of AA often talk about.

      On the basic issue of stopping drinking and trying to keep things simple, AA’s Third Tradition states that “the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.”

     Adding that touch of reality necessary to recovery, an AA friend asked, “Who would have a desire to stop drinking other than someone who drank too much and got in trouble over it?”

     With sincere hope for the success and good intentions of anyone participating in this year’s Dry January, that’s a question to keep in mind for anyone planning on a just plain February.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.

Celebrating the Holidays in Recovery

Wednesday, December 13th, 2023

Addiction and Recovery

By Bob Gaydos  

“No, “is an acceptable answer at holiday parties.

“No, thank you“ is an acceptable answer at holiday parties.

It’s time for the annual reminder. The holiday party season is always a potential source of bah humbug, what with the flu (and now Covid) potentially lurking around, but it is an especially treacherous time of year for people in early recovery from addiction.

People who have found their way to recovery, be it via a 12-step program or otherwise, have been given suggestions on how to survive the season of temptation without relapse. If they use these tools, with practice, they can even enjoy the season.

It’s the rest of you I’m mainly talking to here. You hosts, family members, well-meaning friends who want to be supportive and do the right thing, but aren’t sure what that is. And yes, to those who don’t get the concept of addiction at all, but can still avoid harming a relationship by following a few basic suggestions. So, herewith, some coping tools for the non-addicted, if you will:

  • “No thank you” is a complete sentence and perfectly acceptable answer. It should not require any further explanation. “One drink won’t hurt you” is a dangerously ill-informed reply. The same goes for, “A few butter cookies won’t hurt. C’mon, it’s Christmas.” Or, “Get the dress, Put it on your credit card. You’ll feel better.” Not really.
  • By the way, “No thank you” is an acceptable answer even for people not in recovery. Not everyone who turns down a second helping of stuffing or a piece of pumpkin pie is a member of Overeaters Anonymous. Not everyone who prefers a ginger ale rather than a beer is a member of AA. Not everyone who won’t go into hock for an expensive New Year’s Eve party is a compulsive debtor. But some of them may be.
  •  If you’re hosting a party to which people in recovery have been invited, have some non-alcoholic beverages available. Not just water. There are plenty of new ones available. Don’t make a big deal about having them, just let your guests know they are available. The same goes for food. Have some appetizing low-calorie dishes and healthful desserts on hand. Don’t point out that they’re there because so-and-so is watching his weight. Just serve them. You’ll be surprised how many guests enjoy them and comment on what a good host you are.
  • If you’re honestly concerned about how the person in recovery is doing, approach him or her privately. He or she might not feel comfortable discussing it in front of other guests. If you’re just curious, keep it to yourself.

Honoring a guest’s wishes is a sign of respect. Anticipating them in advance is even better. Encouraging someone to eat, drink or spend money when they don’t want to is, at the very least, not gracious. Pressuring someone to partake of something when you know he or she is trying hard to avoid it is a good way to lose a friend. Addictions are not trivial matters. “No, thank you,” is a perfectly good answer. Members of AA, OA and DA will be especially appreciative if you remember that. And maybe have a couple of spare masks around for guests who may feel a bit vulnerable.

Enjoy your party.

                                             ***

For recovering addicts, the tools should be familiar, but always bear repeating:

  •  Bring a recovery friend to a party.
  •  Have phone numbers and your own transportation available if you want to leave an uncomfortable situation.
  •  If you’re uncomfortable about attending a party because of who will be there, be it family or friends who are not supportive, don’t go. Politely decline. 
  •  Keep track of your drink. If you’re not sure, get a new one.
  •  When shopping, deal in cash; forget about credit cards.
  •  Don’t feel obliged to try every dish on the table. 
  • And, again, “No, thank you,” is a complete sentence. Don’t worry about hurting your host’s feelings at the expense of your recovery. There’s always next year.

Enjoy your recovery.

For more information:

Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org

Overeaters Anonymous: www.oa.org

rjgaydos@gmail.com

 

Is Alcohol a Problem for You? A Test

Sunday, December 3rd, 2023

Addiction and Recovery

By Bob Gaydos

no bar


Thanksgiving ushered in the triple-threat season, so-called by many people in recovery because of the heavy emphasis on celebration … and drinking. It’s a time for extra caution and heightened awareness of the easy access and, sometimes, emphasis on alcohol in order to protect one’s recovery.

    But it’s also a time when people not in recovery often find out, often from friends or family, that their drinking is not normal. It’s problematic. Possibly dangerous. 

   With Christmas and New Year’s revelry still to come, it may be a good time for anyone wondering about his or her drinking behavior to take a self-assessment.

There are a few tests available and I’ve offered a couple previously in this column, but in the interests of time I’m presenting the shortest one here. It’s the AUDIT, offered by The World Health Organization and is the most widely used alcohol use assessment tool in the world. AUDIT stands for alcohol use disorders identification test. As always, be honest for the best result.

The AUDIT questionnaire:

Please circle the answer that is correct for you

  1. How often do you have a drink containing alcohol?
  • Never
  • Monthly or less
  • 2-4 times a month
  • 2-3 times a week
  • 4 or more times a week
  1. How many standard drinks containing alcohol do you have on a typical day when drinking?
  • 1or2
  • 3or4
  • 5or6
  • 7to9
  • 10 or more
  1. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you found that you were not able to stop drinking once you had started?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you failed to do what was normally expected of you because of drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you needed a drink in the morning to get yourself going after a heavy drinking session?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, how often have you had a feeling of guilt or remorse after drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. During the past year, have you been unable to remember what happened the night before because you had been drinking?
  • Never
  • Less than monthly
  • Monthly
  • Weekly
  • Daily or almost daily
  1. Have you or someone else been injured as a result of your drinking?
  • No
  • Yes, but not in the past year
  • Yes, during the past year
  1. Has a relative or friend, doctor or other health worker been concerned about your drinking or suggested you cut down?
  • No
  • Yes, but not in the past year
  • Yes, during the past year

Scoring the audit

Scores for each question range from 0 to 4, with the first response for each question (eg never) scoring 0, the second (eg less than monthly) scoring 1, the third (eg monthly) scoring 2, the fourth (eg weekly) scoring 3, and the last response (eg. daily or almost daily) scoring 4. For questions 9 and 10, which only have three responses, the scoring is 0, 2 and 4.

Scoring the AUDIT

The range of possible scores is from 0 to 40, with 0 indicating an abstainer who has never had any problems from alcohol. A score of 1 to 7 suggests low-risk consumptions, according to World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines. Scores from 8 to 14 suggest hazardous or harmful alcohol consumption and a score of 15 or more indicates the likelihood of alcohol dependence (moderate-severe alcohol use disorder).

If your score concerns you, there is help available. Talk with your primary care doctor. Call an Alcoholics Anonymous hotline in your area. Call a mental health crisis hotline if one is available.

Excessive alcohol use is now classified as a mental disorder by health officials, somewhat in response to the stigma attached to the word “alcoholic.”  However, most recovering members of Alcoholics Anonymous have no problem with identifying as such. In any case, it is not a moral failing. It can be treated. First, it has to be acknowledged.

Again, be honest. And have a safe and sober holiday season.

rjgaydos@gmail.com