By Bob Gaydos

Putin and Trump after their meeting in Alaska. Which one is smiling?

Well, at least he didn’t get a deal on selling Alaska back to Russsia.

That’s the most positive spin I can put on Trump’s ego-driven “summit” with Vladimir Putin last Friday. Everything else was a win for Putin, from the red carpet, hand-clapping, smiling welcome on the tarmac to the private limo ride bringing the two men to the meeting. Not bad for someone declared a war criminal for his invasion of Ukraine.

Oh right, Ukraine wasn’t invited to this Alaskan summit to decide its future. Just Trump and his Russian handler and their aides. Trump’s retinue, interestingly, included officials not typically involved in diplomacy, but rather, finance. Money. Did the two pals cook up a deal in the limo?

In his Quixotic quest for a Nobel Peace Prize, Trump, who did not manage, as pledged, to end the Ukraine War on Day One of his presidency, did manage to change his position on Ukraine after the “summit,” from ceasefire to full peace deal, which is, coincidentally, Putin’s position.

Surprise!

It’s obvious that Trump is totally lost in diplomatic relations and has been a Putin puppet for years. I’m constantly amazed that the major media treat him as if he has a clue beyond doing whatever benefits him. Make America an afterthought!

If you doubt Trump is Putin’s tool, just look at the photos of the two men after meeting in Finland in 2018 and last Friday. Putin owns him.

Ukrainian President Volodamyr Zelensky is scheduled to meet Trump Monday at the White House. Last time, he was insulted by Trump and JD Vance. I don’t expect anything different this time.

It’s all about Trump playing at being president. A national embarrassment that needs to be reported as such.

By Bob Gaydos

The check William Seward wrote in 1867 to purchase Alaska from Russia. It was no folly.

While I sit and read about the ongoing demands of Americans of all stripes — Democrats, Republicans, MAGAs, What Nots— for the Trump administration to release the Epstein files because no rational person believes that it is does not include mentions of Trump’s name and numerous girls between the ages of 13 and 17 with whom he may have engaged in sexual acts, which is officially known as rape, I also marvel at the lengths to which this soulless excuse for a human being is willing to go to divert attention from the Epstein files and his efforts to avoid their public release.

The latest entries in this traffic wreck of a presidency involve Trump taking over the policing of Washington, D.C., and negotiating a peace treaty between Russia and Ukraine without including Ukraine. What could possibly go wrong? In truth, with Trump’s record, almost anything.

Taking over the D.C. National Guard and mobilizing 800 troops to “police“ the nation’s capital along with the help of several hundred FBI agents, while claiming a major crime problem even though recent statistics show crime significantly down in the city, is fascism 101. Add the fact that Trump says he’s going to clean up the city by rounding up homeless people and taking them somewhere else. Anywhere else apparently because he hasn’t said where. That doesn’t bode well for the homeless ever since Trump’s Supreme Court last year ruled homelessness could be treated as a crime.

The mentally ill will also inevitably be included in any such round up. Apparently, Trump wants to return to the out-of-sight out-of-mind philosophy for dealing with these issues.

The fact that the National Guard, citizen soldiers, many of whom have day jobs (accountants, mechanics, sales people, politicians) are not trained for this kind of work apparently doesn’t matter to the geniuses in the White House. Send them out there, armed to the teeth so the citizenry feel safe. I doubt most of the guardsmen are thrilled with the mission.

And apparently the FBI agents are going to be patrolling some swanky D.C. neighborhoods. What a great use of trained investigators who should be dealing with actual crime committed by some of Trump’s wealthier supporters.

None of which, of course, is going to convince anybody to forget about the Epstein files. I suspect the show of force will be mostly a show simply to show that Trump, racist to the core, can do it seeing as he’s threatened to do it in other cities run by black mayors.

What could possibly go wrong? Look up Kent State in the history books if they haven’t been removed from the library.

As for the Putin meeting, it has disaster written all over it. Just recall the meeting with Putin in Finland and watch the Russian president emerge with a big grin on his face and Trump look like an 11-year-old boy who just had the riot act read to him. Just the two of them in the room. Manchurian Candidate material.

Trump is talking about giving up some land somehow to settle this deal even though Ukraine didn’t take any land and Russia is the one who invaded despite Trump’s insistence otherwise and Ukrainian President Volodamyr Zelinsky isn’t even invited to this “peace talk.“

What could go wrong? Well, for starters, Trump thought he was going to meet Putin in Russia and had to be reminded that the meeting was in Alaska, which is American territory which should be off-limits to Putin, who was declared a war criminal by the United Nations. Putin might be willing to forget about claiming a chunk of Ukraine if Trump lets him go home with Alaska back in his pocket. After all, it’s worth a lot more than the $7.2 million Secretary of State William Seward wrote a check for in 1867 to purchase the territory from Russia. Who knows what Trump’s price might be to sell it back, with hotel rights?

Far-fetched? Will there be any other American adults in the room who know what they’re doing? And will they realize that even giving Alaska back to Russia will not make Americans forget about those Epstein files?

By Bob Gaydos

Hades … too much to pray for?

     Had breakfast with a friend the other day, trying out a new coffee shop in town. Nice addition.

      The conversation touched on the usual stuff. Too much rain. What’s planted in the garden, the hummingbird count, the challenges in living in a house with another person. Living on a planet with certain other people.

      That last proved provocative. With regard to those certain other people, my friend offered that, if he were a praying man, he would pray for The Rapture.

      I got his intent, but I suggested that I thought he had it backwards. Having read “Left Behind,“ I knew it was the good, caring, kind, faithful humans who were transported off the planet to Heaven, I believe, leaving their clothing and loved ones behind.

      The others, the nasty ones, the ones my friend wanted to be rid of, stayed and, through a series of books, fended for and against themselves and other non-believers. So I suggested that, assuming we wanted to remain in whatever state this is for a while longer, what we needed was a Reverse Rapture.

   We needed someplace we could pray for all those You Know Whats to be sent to, without any get-out-of-jail card in the form of an Orpheus, if I may be allowed to mix my miracles.

     Hades. Yes, Hades. The Underworld would do.

     So, who would we want to go? Personally, I’d start with Trump and his immediate family. The whole crew. Every member of his Cabinet and White House staff. Every lawyer who ever worked for him, except for Michael Cohen. Elon Musk. J.D.Vance. Every current Republican member of Congress, except for Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski. The authors of Project 2025. Anyone who wears a Maga T-shirt or hat. Anyone who identifies as a journalist but works and lies for Fox News. Putin. Kim. Hamas and all the other terrorists. The pushers of fentanyl. Laura Loomer. (Speaking of Loomer and Kristi Noem and the Barbi press contact and the attorney general and all the other Trumpettes, Hades will come with no cosmetic amenities, including plastic surgeons. Zero. Just saying.)

    Also, all those mask-wearing ICE employees who’ve been enjoying grabbing people off the street, out of their homes, wherever, with no warrants or concern for the people or the law. And Clarence Thomas, to fulfill Hades’ DEI requirements.

     And, really, anyone who voted for Trump three times. What were they thinking? They get a special wing in Hades where The Apprentice plays on big screens constantly. In Spanish. And they have to use their bitcoin to buy English subtitles, but they already gave it all to Trump, who gave it all to the Saudi royal family (they’re there, too), who promised to build a Hades Trump Tower using white South African immigrants for labor. It could take a while, but who really cares?

     Now, all that cosmic deportation would obviously leave behind a whole lot of room, especially in this big, beautiful country, and a lot of available work for good, caring, reliable, nice, talented, decent, tolerant human beings, maybe from Venezuela or Mexico or Greenland or Panama or El Salvador.

      Too much to ask for, you say? Especially over breakfast? Hell, if you’re going to pray for anything, especially a Reverse Rapture, I say why not go all in?

       Besides, checks and balances seems to be broken.

                                     ***

Additions to the prayer chain are welcome.

By Bob Gaydos

Trump announcers tariffs.

    I’ve been listening to and reading all sorts of analyses of the Trump tariffs for three days now and it’s pretty clear that anyone with any sense of how economics works thinks they’re the dumbest thing since way back the last time this country had a Depression. The numbers make no sense.

    They’re going to hurt a lot of ordinary people and some say that’s the point.

     They’re probably going to make some really rich people richer and some say that’s the point.

      They’re certainly a way for Trump to try to extort concessions from weaker nations to make himself richer and some say that’s the point.

      Some also say that they will severely weaken America to the benefit of Russia, which has miraculously escaped being on the tariffs list, and some (not nearly enough if you ask me) say that is the primary point and, ever since Trump slumped out of that private meeting with a grinning Vladimir Putin in Helsinki, I agree with this assessment. Trump’s in Putin’s pocket.

     But whatever motivation the experts have attributed to the Trump tariffs, they all seem to be surprised by one thing — the reaction of other nations.

      Airwaves and the Internet have been full of commentary expressing surprise that European nations haven’t just rolled over. The European Union, after strongly criticizing the tariffs, immediately began working on countermeasures, “should negotiations not work.” France and Germany especially encouraged a strong response.

   Across the other ocean, China, Japan and South Korea formed a trade alliance to counter Trump. It takes some doing to get those three together, but Trump managed. China also slapped a 34 percent tariffs on all U.S. imports, matching Trump’s latest tariffs on Chinese imports.

      Maybe it’s just me, and I know America’s been strutting around like the big gun in town for some time, but this isn’t Europe’s first rodeo, people. Remember Ancient Greece and Rome? France, Britain, Germany, Spain, Italy, heck Denmark, which told Trump to keep the hell out of Greenland, have all been around a lot longer than the good old USA. They’ve been through a lot of stuff and figured it out. Centuries of history is on their side.

    Which, of course, goes in spades for China and Japan. If those two ancient enemies can figure out a way to work together with the collective centuries of wisdom of the Far East, Trump, the shlump from Queens, hasn’t got a chance, whatever the point.

By Bob Gaydos

Governor Kathy Hochul says New York is suing the would-be king.

 I don’t know how it happened, what with the world on a 24-hour what-the- hell-did-he-do-now news cycle, but I somehow managed to miss a cycle or two and found myself scrambling to catch up. I apparently got some laundry and food shopping done and connected with a few friends, so it was time well spent. Still, life as we know it, you know?

     I realized I had had a news blackout when an image of Trump on the cover of Time Magazine (renamed “Trump”) showed up on my phone. (Remember when it was just spam calls?) He was wearing a smile and a crown. The headline said, “Long live the king.”

      That was fast, I thought. What else had I missed? Of course, I quickly discovered it was a mockup of Time put out by the White House, but the guy had actually uttered the words. Or rather, typed them on his social media platform: “CONGESTIONPRICING IS DEAD. Manhattan, and all of New York, is SAVED. LONG LIVE THE KING!”

   Having decreed New York City “saved” from its traffic issue, even though it’s none of his business (New York is suing), I learned Trump had also wandered into the wilderness in Ukraine, declaring that its president Volodymer Zelenskyy was “a dictator” and that Ukraine had actually started the war with Russia, apparently by letting itself be invaded by Vladimir Putin’s troops.

    This last bit of historical rewriting actually prompted a few Republican lawmakers to snap their suspenders and disagree publicly with their leader. I also found that his not so vague attempt at extorting valuable minerals from Ukraine in exchange for possibly continued U.S. support in the war, prompted some speculation that Trump was a Russian asset. A Putin puppet.

    Shocking!

    Actually, I was not at all surprised to learn this information because I have been convinced that Trump has been somehow compromised by Putin ever since their private meeting in Helsinki in 2018.

     I’ve said it before more than once and I’m saying it yet again — Putin emerged from that meeting looking like he had swallowed, not the canary, but the American eagle, and Trump looked like a teenaged boy who had just been caught doing something best done in private and was going to be blackmailed for it for the rest of his life.

      Just because “The Manchurian Candidate” was a movie doesn’t mean it couldn’t be happening before our very eyes. Especially with an ego-driven, cowardly person like Trump. Putin owns Trump. It’s not just Trump’s admiration for “strong“ leaders, I don’t think. Putin’s got the goods on Trump and Trump has been trying to satisfy his master, by sabotaging NATO and refusing to support Ukraine, among other things. Some might scoff that this is just another wild conspiracy theory (the bullet never hit him) and I’ve mocked conspiracy theorists myself. But it’s not a theory when it’s staring us in the face.

      But, as I said, that’s old news. Back in my news blackout I also apparently missed Trump firing the general heading the Joint Chiefs of Staff because he’s black and the heads of the Navy and Coast Guard because they’re women and replacing them with less qualified white men. Because DEI.

    But the real shocker came in the area I go to for escape from unsettling news. Sports. Apparently, after six decades and a bunch of championships, I learned the New York Yankees have lifted their ban on facial hair among players. Wow! This was even more shocking than reading about robot umpires being tested. Hal Steinbrenner Jr., team owner, has altered the policy initiated by his father to now allow facial hair as long as beards are “well trimmed.” I guess the players are happy.

      I’m not sure how I feel about this. The Yankee haters will have lost one of their major talking points. On the other hand, there’s something to be said for tradition and daring to be different. Maybe they’ll just have to go back to winning championships again. That would be nice.

    And maybe I need to stay on top of the news a little better because this catching up on stuff could drive a lesser person to drink. (Wink, wink.)

PS: The bullet never did hit him.

By Bob Gaydos

    While I’ve been spending the holidays toning up my chopsticks skills (Tuesday-Korean; Wednesday-Japanese; Thursday-Chinese vegan), the rest of the world has apparently been going to hell in a handbasket.

      Let’s see if I can catch up. Elon Musk, the president-non-elect, learned that even the richest man in the world can’t force a few hundred career politicians to shut down the United States government over the holidays. His sidekick and ceremonial president, Donald Trump, learned that those same politicians wouldn’t give him a free credit card by suspending the debt ceiling in order to keep the government open. Worthwhile lessons for all involved, including the American people who would have suffered the most.

     Not to be distracted by reality, Trump also fantasized about annexing Canada as the 51st state, seizing the Panama Canal from China and buying Greenland from Denmark. Canada, Panama, China and Denmark were not amused. The Danes, in fact, wondered what the going price might be on a somewhat worn U.S. democracy. The Mexican president had already told Trump to cool it on the tariff talk.

    Meanwhile, Russian president, Vladimir Putin ignored Trump’s election campaign claim that he’d end the war in Ukraine as soon as he was elected, never mind got sworn in. Didn’t happen. In fact, North Korea sent in some troops to help Russia fight its increasingly costly war and Putin, struggling with losses in Ukraine, abandoned his buddy Assad in Syria and let rebel forces take over the government there virtually overnight.

    Meanwhile, the other Korea, the supposedly Democratic one, saw its president declare martial law, then back down swiftly after massive demonstrations, broke out in the streets, only to eventually be impeached. But wait, there’s more. The acting president appointed to bring order from the chaos refused to appoint judges to overhear the impeachment proceedings against the martial law president. So the acting president was impeached. I have no idea where this is going, and I’m not sure the Koreans do either.

     Meanwhile, Russia’s not-nearly-as-efficient-as -everyone-thought military machine was suspected in the downing of an Azerbaijan  passenger jet that crashed in Kazakhstan, killing 38 people on board. Analysts suggested a missile from Russia’s air defense system struck the plane.

     Those Russian missiles had been used to shoot down drones flown from Ukraine. There was no word on whether the Russians were suspected in the sudden disappearance of all those hundreds of drones that were mysteriously flying over New Jersey for the past couple of weeks. And our government still wasn’t saying anything at all about them — the drones, not the Russians — except that we shouldn’t worry.

     So I’m going to try not to.        

     At least I don’t live in Mozambique where more than 6,000 prisoners, including Isis terrorists, escaped from prison as part of nationwide civil unrest over widespread voting irregularities in the country’s recent presidential election. And boy doesn’t that sound familiar?

       France avoided the bloodshed, but after a vote of no confidence removed the prime minister, a new prime minister has named a new government, fate as yet to be determined.

     So these are apparently the times that try our souls, people. But I wonder, where are the songs of protest? We Shall Overcome! Never mind where all the flowers have gone, where are the Woody Guthries, Pete Seegers, the Bob Dylans for Pete’s sake! 

     Tik-tok and Beyoncé and Taylor Swift don’t cover all the disharmony.

      President Joe Biden just formally recognized the bald eagle as the official national bird. Long overdue, I’d say,  and fitting. But that proud, beautiful bird needs a new “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” one for the 21st-century. Please!

       Meanwhile, I’m going to keep working out with my chopsticks.

Trump and Putin in Helsinki.

By Bob Gaydos

     The big political news this week is that Donald Trump, when he was president, sent Vladimir Putin a care package — a Covid test device for his personal use. This, at a time when such tests were extremely difficult to come by in this country, never mind Russia, and when Trump was going around telling Americans not to worry, it will pass like the flu. Drink bleach if you feel the need to do something.

     Also, it was reported that Trump, when he was no longer president, had at least seven private phone calls with the Russian president. Offhand, that sounds illegal.

      This “news” was reported first in The Washington Post, courtesy of a leak about its appearing in a soon-to-be -released new book by Bob Woodward, former ace Post investigative reporter, who reportedly still has some kind of working relationship with the newspaper.

      Woodward also had some kind of working relationship with Trump, who apparently trusted him because of the fame attached to Woodward’s role in breaking the Watergate story in the Nixon years. Ego always drives Trump. So Woodward apparently has had this information on Trump for some time, but chose to hang on to it until he had a deal for the book. Guaranteed big bucks. That suggests that Woodward’s working relationship with the Post is a little fluid, shall we say. Let’s save it for an October Surprise.

     Surprise! Donald Trump is in bed with Vladimir Putin.

     I’m not saying it isn’t news or that it isn’t important news, especially coming at this point in the presidential campaign between Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris. It’s the kind of news that might make even many cowardly Republicans finally rebuke Trump because it could finally convince some unfathomably uncommitted voters that Trump is a legitimate threat to American democracy.

       It doesn’t get more personal than giving rare life-protecting health equipment to a longtime enemy while your own citizens are dying for lack of it. It doesn’t get any more illegal than holding private talks with said enemy when you are no longer president of the United States.

      To wit, from the Cornell Law School: “Any citizen of the United States, wherever he may be, who, without authority of the United States, directly or indirectly commences or carries on any correspondence or intercourse with any foreign government or any officer or agent thereof, with intent to influence the measures or conduct of any foreign government or of any officer or agent thereof, in relation to any disputes or controversies with the United States, or to defeat the measures of the United States, shall be fined … or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.”

      Ever wonder what Trump planned to do with all those classified documents he had stored in his bathroom at Mar-a-Lago? Why he called the Russian invasion of Ukraine “very smart?”

      I have three reactions to all this. One, I’m glad the information all came out a month before election day. Woodward is a trusted journalist and the information ought to convince some people who are somehow still on the fence about the election. Two, I’m disappointed that Woodward held on to this information for who knows how long when he is well aware of the unique importance of this presidential election to America. Three, I am not at all surprised by the information because I have been convinced that Trump has been somehow compromised by Putin ever since their private meeting in Helsinki in 2018.

     I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again, Putin emerged from that meeting looking like he had swallowed, not the canary, but the American eagle, and Trump looked like a teenaged boy who had just been caught doing something best done in private and was going to be blackmailed for it for the rest of his life.

      Just because “The Manchurian Candidate” was a movie doesn’t mean it couldn’t be happening before our very eyes. Especially with an ego-driven, cowardly person like Trump. Putin owns Trump. It’s not just Trump’s admiration for “strong“ leaders, I don’t think. Putin’s got the goods on Trump and Trump has been trying to satisfy his master, by sabotaging NATO and refusing to support Ukraine, among other things. Some might scoff that this is just another wild conspiracy theory. I’ve mocked conspiracy theorists myself. But it’s not a theory when it’s staring us in the face.

       Woodward’s new book is entitled “War.” It’s available on Amazon if you want to send a gift copy to your friendly neighborhood Republican. I’m fine with the excerpts in The New York Times.

By Bob Gaydos

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky and Republican presidential nominee, former U.S. President Donald Trump, shake hands during a meeting in New York City.

    Two reality TV stars met in New York last week to engage in international diplomacy in conjunction with the annual meeting of the United Nations General Assembly. The ironies abounded but were pretty much ignored (or just missed) by much of the so-called mainstream media.

      Start with the fact that both men, political novices, were elected president of their homelands by virtue of the popularity of television shows in which they starred.

      Donald Trump rode the false image created of him as a shrewd businessman on “The Apprentice” all the way to the White House. The real-life baron of bankruptcy court was going to make America great again.

      Volodymyr Zelensky parlayed his TV portrayal of a sincere teacher turned novice president determined to clean up corruption in Ukraine into the real president’s job in Kiev.

      You really can’t make this stuff up.

       Zelensky’s TV show, “Servant of the People,” was not technically a reality show, but its satire was aimed directly at the reality of life in Ukraine at the time. It ran for three years and catapulted the actor to the international stage. Let’s see if he can really clear up the corruption.

       The plot for both has turned deadly serious the past four years. That’s what brought the two men — one ex-president trying to regain power, one current president trying to preserve his country — together in New York.

       Trump, whose presidency was punctuated by a tax cut for wealthy Americans, a series of unkept promises (the Wall, the infrastructure, health care) and the deaths of more than 400,000 Americans due to his lack of a policy to deal with the Covid virus, is desperately trying to get re-elected president to stay out of prison.

     To refresh your memory: After leaving office in 2021, he was indicted on 88 felony charges, ranging from trying to overturn the legitimate results of the 2020 election to unlawful possession of classified government documents and falsifying documents in connection with a hush money scheme to cover up an affair with a porn star that could have derailed his 2016 run for president. He has been convicted of 34 felonies in connection with that case in New York and sentencing is scheduled for Nov. 26.

     If he is elected president, he undoubtedly will try to use the recently created presidential immunity ruling by the Supreme Court to get rid of the conviction, even though he wasn’t president when he committed the crimes. Hey, what’s the point of having power if you can’t appoint judges to save your behind.

      Zelinsky, of course, has been waging a war, not primarily with corruption, but with Russia, which invaded Ukraine in 2022. That was the point of his New York meeting with Trump.

      Much as he undoubtedly doesn’t respect Trump, Zelinsky knows that, if by chance, Trump is elected president again, Ukraine’s future in the war could change dramatically. Trump has made no secret of his infatuation with Russian Premier Vladimir Putin. Trump has also questioned United States weapons and funding in support of Ukraine and he has also cast doubt on future U.S. support for NATO, which has been a strong supporter of Ukraine in the war. 

         And let’s not forget that one of two impeachments of Trump when he was president involved his effort to get Zelinsky to fabricate corruption evidence against Hunter and Joe Biden in connection with Hunter’s business dealings in Ukraine. The aim was to help Trump’s presidential run against Joe, who is Hunter’s father. Trump threatened to withhold U.S. weapons aid to Ukraine, which was fighting Russian separatists in eastern Ukraine, if Zelinsky did not cooperate. Zelinsky stayed mum. A Republican Senate acquitted Trump.

      Despite this sketchy history, Zelinsky, as president of Ukraine, had to make an effort in New York with Trump, just in case. 

      What did that effort produce? Trump’s version of another popular American TV show: “Let’s Make a Deal.”

     After meeting with the Ukrainian president for 40 minutes, the ever-transactional Trump told Fox News, “We both want to see this end, and we both want to see a fair deal made. … The president wants it to end, and he wants it to end as quickly as possible. He wants a fair transaction to take place.”

    What kind of fair transaction? Earlier in the week, Trump described Ukraine as “demolished” and said, “Any deal — the worst deal — would’ve been better than what we have now. If they made a bad deal, it would’ve been much better. They would’ve given up a little bit and everybody would be living and every building would be built and every tower would be aging for another 2,000 years.”

    In other words, give Putin the territory Russia now illegally occupies in Ukraine and count your blessings. Fair deal.

      After his meeting with Trump, Zelinsky had a somewhat different take on the situation: “We need to do everything to pressure him (Putin) to stop this war. He is in our territory. That’s most important to understand. He is in our territory.”

    Trump (not understanding):  “We (Zelinsky and Trump) have a very good relationship. And I also have a very good relationship, as you know, with President Putin. And if we win, I think we’re going to get it resolved very quickly.” (See: The Wall, infrastructure, health care … )

       Zelensky: “I hope we have more good relations between us.”       

       Trump: “But, you know, it takes two to tango.”

        Right. … Flashback to 2018 when President Trump and Premier Putin had a private tete-a-fete at their Helsinki summit meeting and Putin exited the room with a big grin and shoulders all puffed up and Trump came out slumped over, looking like a scared little puppy dog. Remember?

           Yeah. It’s not a reality TV show, but rather, a movie: “The Manchurian Candidate.” But Trump still has the starring role.

By Bob Gaydos

Trump and Harris at the debate.

 “First you say you do and then you don’t.

   Then you say you will and then you won’t.

    You’re undecided now, so what are you gonna do?”

     Those are the lyrics to a song that was popular in the ‘40s and ‘50s, recorded by, among others, Ella Fitzgerald and the Ames Brothers.

       A simple song for a simpler time. Today, the song’s predicament remains the same. Someone has extreme difficulty making up his or her mind. But there is a heightened urgency to a need for the answer and growing frustration with those who can’t provide it.

        Yeah, we’re talking about those “undecided” voters who watched the recent debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris and still can’t figure out who they want to be President of the United States.

        Really?

        Harris was cool, calm and confident, exactly what one would hope of the current vice president of the United States, also a former senator and prosecutor. She spoke from experience and with compassion. She mostly didn’t try to evade questions and definitely didn’t make stuff up.

   Trump?

    On abortion: “They’re executing newborn babies.”

    Out of the blue: “They’re performing transgender operations on illegal aliens in prison.”

     Immigration: “In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs, the people that came in (Haitian immigrants). They’re eating the cats. They’re eating — they’re eating the pets of the people that live there.”

     On replacing Obamacare: Moderator (frustrated) : “So just yes or no. You do have a plan?

      Trump: “I have concepts of a plan.”

       The rest was mostly stream-of-consciousness blaming of immigrants for imagined increases in crime rates, defensiveness over the size of crowds at his rallies, mumbo jumbo about tariffs and praise for the two most dangerous leaders in Europe, Russia’s Vladimir Putin and Hungary’s Viktor Orban. Also a lot of angry faces.

        And yet, some people described by various media outlets as “undecided voters” in a very close contest, said they still haven’t decided which of the candidates they would like to hold the most powerful office on the planet. 

        Whew…. I don’t know who these people are but, you know what, I don’t believe some of them and, in these changing times, the rest will just have to change their tune and, as Paul Simon sang, “Get on the bus, Gus,” and set themselves free with President Kamala Harris.   

rjgaydos@gmail.com

By Bob Gaydos

Rapper Lil Jon juices, the Democratic national convention.

 Chicago (cue music)

     “Mr. Chairman! The great state of Euphoria, where men are proud fathers and women are allowed to come out of the kitchen and be corporate executives, where we teach real history in our schools and don’t ban books, where the concept of equal rights is embraced, where LGBTQ spells freedom, where no one is above the law, where the air is clean and we like it that way … the state of rock and roll and hip hop and anything Willie Nelson does, where there are no white, brown or black jobs, where veterans are respected and democracy cherished, the state of presidents and patriots, poets and perfect sunsets … Euphoria, where the right to vote and the right to choose are sacred, where we love our country and honor our commitments, the state full of hope for the future of America, proudly casts all 47 of its votes for the next president of the United States, the first black/Asian woman president of the United States, the tough, young, smart prosecutor who we think once went to school here or at least we wish she had, the current Vice President of the United States … KAMALA HARRIS!”

 Milwaukee

     “Mr. Chairman, the state of Submission, where real men carry guns and all women carry babies, where we protect our children from pornographic literature and communist ideas, where people know their place and the only votes that count are the ones we say count, the state that knows best what is best for its citizens, casts its however many votes you say we have for the overweight, old sex offender with the orange hair and big wad of tape on his ear who was just convicted of 34 felonies, is accused of attempting a coup, is buddies with Vladimir Putin and wants to protect America from sharks, social security and windmills … the man who once bankrupted a casino and said Covid would pass quickly, the great leader of our party … the former… umm, Trump.”

rjgaydos@gmail.com