By Bob Gaydos

Hades … too much to pray for?

     Had breakfast with a friend the other day, trying out a new coffee shop in town. Nice addition.

      The conversation touched on the usual stuff. Too much rain. What’s planted in the garden, the hummingbird count, the challenges in living in a house with another person. Living on a planet with certain other people.

      That last proved provocative. With regard to those certain other people, my friend offered that, if he were a praying man, he would pray for The Rapture.

      I got his intent, but I suggested that I thought he had it backwards. Having read “Left Behind,“ I knew it was the good, caring, kind, faithful humans who were transported off the planet to Heaven, I believe, leaving their clothing and loved ones behind.

      The others, the nasty ones, the ones my friend wanted to be rid of, stayed and, through a series of books, fended for and against themselves and other non-believers. So I suggested that, assuming we wanted to remain in whatever state this is for a while longer, what we needed was a Reverse Rapture.

   We needed someplace we could pray for all those You Know Whats to be sent to, without any get-out-of-jail card in the form of an Orpheus, if I may be allowed to mix my miracles.

     Hades. Yes, Hades. The Underworld would do.

     So, who would we want to go? Personally, I’d start with Trump and his immediate family. The whole crew. Every member of his Cabinet and White House staff. Every lawyer who ever worked for him, except for Michael Cohen. Elon Musk. J.D.Vance. Every current Republican member of Congress, except for Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski. The authors of Project 2025. Anyone who wears a Maga T-shirt or hat. Anyone who identifies as a journalist but works and lies for Fox News. Putin. Kim. Hamas and all the other terrorists. The pushers of fentanyl. Laura Loomer. (Speaking of Loomer and Kristi Noem and the Barbi press contact and the attorney general and all the other Trumpettes, Hades will come with no cosmetic amenities, including plastic surgeons. Zero. Just saying.)

    Also, all those mask-wearing ICE employees who’ve been enjoying grabbing people off the street, out of their homes, wherever, with no warrants or concern for the people or the law. And Clarence Thomas, to fulfill Hades’ DEI requirements.

     And, really, anyone who voted for Trump three times. What were they thinking? They get a special wing in Hades where The Apprentice plays on big screens constantly. In Spanish. And they have to use their bitcoin to buy English subtitles, but they already gave it all to Trump, who gave it all to the Saudi royal family (they’re there, too), who promised to build a Hades Trump Tower using white South African immigrants for labor. It could take a while, but who really cares?

     Now, all that cosmic deportation would obviously leave behind a whole lot of room, especially in this big, beautiful country, and a lot of available work for good, caring, reliable, nice, talented, decent, tolerant human beings, maybe from Venezuela or Mexico or Greenland or Panama or El Salvador.

      Too much to ask for, you say? Especially over breakfast? Hell, if you’re going to pray for anything, especially a Reverse Rapture, I say why not go all in?

       Besides, checks and balances seems to be broken.

                                     ***

Additions to the prayer chain are welcome.

By Bob Gaydos

Trump announcers tariffs.

    I’ve been listening to and reading all sorts of analyses of the Trump tariffs for three days now and it’s pretty clear that anyone with any sense of how economics works thinks they’re the dumbest thing since way back the last time this country had a Depression. The numbers make no sense.

    They’re going to hurt a lot of ordinary people and some say that’s the point.

     They’re probably going to make some really rich people richer and some say that’s the point.

      They’re certainly a way for Trump to try to extort concessions from weaker nations to make himself richer and some say that’s the point.

      Some also say that they will severely weaken America to the benefit of Russia, which has miraculously escaped being on the tariffs list, and some (not nearly enough if you ask me) say that is the primary point and, ever since Trump slumped out of that private meeting with a grinning Vladimir Putin in Helsinki, I agree with this assessment. Trump’s in Putin’s pocket.

     But whatever motivation the experts have attributed to the Trump tariffs, they all seem to be surprised by one thing — the reaction of other nations.

      Airwaves and the Internet have been full of commentary expressing surprise that European nations haven’t just rolled over. The European Union, after strongly criticizing the tariffs, immediately began working on countermeasures, “should negotiations not work.” France and Germany especially encouraged a strong response.

   Across the other ocean, China, Japan and South Korea formed a trade alliance to counter Trump. It takes some doing to get those three together, but Trump managed. China also slapped a 34 percent tariffs on all U.S. imports, matching Trump’s latest tariffs on Chinese imports.

      Maybe it’s just me, and I know America’s been strutting around like the big gun in town for some time, but this isn’t Europe’s first rodeo, people. Remember Ancient Greece and Rome? France, Britain, Germany, Spain, Italy, heck Denmark, which told Trump to keep the hell out of Greenland, have all been around a lot longer than the good old USA. They’ve been through a lot of stuff and figured it out. Centuries of history is on their side.

    Which, of course, goes in spades for China and Japan. If those two ancient enemies can figure out a way to work together with the collective centuries of wisdom of the Far East, Trump, the shlump from Queens, hasn’t got a chance, whatever the point.

By Bob Gaydos

Governor Kathy Hochul says New York is suing the would-be king.

 I don’t know how it happened, what with the world on a 24-hour what-the- hell-did-he-do-now news cycle, but I somehow managed to miss a cycle or two and found myself scrambling to catch up. I apparently got some laundry and food shopping done and connected with a few friends, so it was time well spent. Still, life as we know it, you know?

     I realized I had had a news blackout when an image of Trump on the cover of Time Magazine (renamed “Trump”) showed up on my phone. (Remember when it was just spam calls?) He was wearing a smile and a crown. The headline said, “Long live the king.”

      That was fast, I thought. What else had I missed? Of course, I quickly discovered it was a mockup of Time put out by the White House, but the guy had actually uttered the words. Or rather, typed them on his social media platform: “CONGESTIONPRICING IS DEAD. Manhattan, and all of New York, is SAVED. LONG LIVE THE KING!”

   Having decreed New York City “saved” from its traffic issue, even though it’s none of his business (New York is suing), I learned Trump had also wandered into the wilderness in Ukraine, declaring that its president Volodymer Zelenskyy was “a dictator” and that Ukraine had actually started the war with Russia, apparently by letting itself be invaded by Vladimir Putin’s troops.

    This last bit of historical rewriting actually prompted a few Republican lawmakers to snap their suspenders and disagree publicly with their leader. I also found that his not so vague attempt at extorting valuable minerals from Ukraine in exchange for possibly continued U.S. support in the war, prompted some speculation that Trump was a Russian asset. A Putin puppet.

    Shocking!

    Actually, I was not at all surprised to learn this information because I have been convinced that Trump has been somehow compromised by Putin ever since their private meeting in Helsinki in 2018.

     I’ve said it before more than once and I’m saying it yet again — Putin emerged from that meeting looking like he had swallowed, not the canary, but the American eagle, and Trump looked like a teenaged boy who had just been caught doing something best done in private and was going to be blackmailed for it for the rest of his life.

      Just because “The Manchurian Candidate” was a movie doesn’t mean it couldn’t be happening before our very eyes. Especially with an ego-driven, cowardly person like Trump. Putin owns Trump. It’s not just Trump’s admiration for “strong“ leaders, I don’t think. Putin’s got the goods on Trump and Trump has been trying to satisfy his master, by sabotaging NATO and refusing to support Ukraine, among other things. Some might scoff that this is just another wild conspiracy theory (the bullet never hit him) and I’ve mocked conspiracy theorists myself. But it’s not a theory when it’s staring us in the face.

      But, as I said, that’s old news. Back in my news blackout I also apparently missed Trump firing the general heading the Joint Chiefs of Staff because he’s black and the heads of the Navy and Coast Guard because they’re women and replacing them with less qualified white men. Because DEI.

    But the real shocker came in the area I go to for escape from unsettling news. Sports. Apparently, after six decades and a bunch of championships, I learned the New York Yankees have lifted their ban on facial hair among players. Wow! This was even more shocking than reading about robot umpires being tested. Hal Steinbrenner Jr., team owner, has altered the policy initiated by his father to now allow facial hair as long as beards are “well trimmed.” I guess the players are happy.

      I’m not sure how I feel about this. The Yankee haters will have lost one of their major talking points. On the other hand, there’s something to be said for tradition and daring to be different. Maybe they’ll just have to go back to winning championships again. That would be nice.

    And maybe I need to stay on top of the news a little better because this catching up on stuff could drive a lesser person to drink. (Wink, wink.)

PS: The bullet never did hit him.

By Bob Gaydos

    While I’ve been spending the holidays toning up my chopsticks skills (Tuesday-Korean; Wednesday-Japanese; Thursday-Chinese vegan), the rest of the world has apparently been going to hell in a handbasket.

      Let’s see if I can catch up. Elon Musk, the president-non-elect, learned that even the richest man in the world can’t force a few hundred career politicians to shut down the United States government over the holidays. His sidekick and ceremonial president, Donald Trump, learned that those same politicians wouldn’t give him a free credit card by suspending the debt ceiling in order to keep the government open. Worthwhile lessons for all involved, including the American people who would have suffered the most.

     Not to be distracted by reality, Trump also fantasized about annexing Canada as the 51st state, seizing the Panama Canal from China and buying Greenland from Denmark. Canada, Panama, China and Denmark were not amused. The Danes, in fact, wondered what the going price might be on a somewhat worn U.S. democracy. The Mexican president had already told Trump to cool it on the tariff talk.

    Meanwhile, Russian president, Vladimir Putin ignored Trump’s election campaign claim that he’d end the war in Ukraine as soon as he was elected, never mind got sworn in. Didn’t happen. In fact, North Korea sent in some troops to help Russia fight its increasingly costly war and Putin, struggling with losses in Ukraine, abandoned his buddy Assad in Syria and let rebel forces take over the government there virtually overnight.

    Meanwhile, the other Korea, the supposedly Democratic one, saw its president declare martial law, then back down swiftly after massive demonstrations, broke out in the streets, only to eventually be impeached. But wait, there’s more. The acting president appointed to bring order from the chaos refused to appoint judges to overhear the impeachment proceedings against the martial law president. So the acting president was impeached. I have no idea where this is going, and I’m not sure the Koreans do either.

     Meanwhile, Russia’s not-nearly-as-efficient-as -everyone-thought military machine was suspected in the downing of an Azerbaijan  passenger jet that crashed in Kazakhstan, killing 38 people on board. Analysts suggested a missile from Russia’s air defense system struck the plane.

     Those Russian missiles had been used to shoot down drones flown from Ukraine. There was no word on whether the Russians were suspected in the sudden disappearance of all those hundreds of drones that were mysteriously flying over New Jersey for the past couple of weeks. And our government still wasn’t saying anything at all about them — the drones, not the Russians — except that we shouldn’t worry.

     So I’m going to try not to.        

     At least I don’t live in Mozambique where more than 6,000 prisoners, including Isis terrorists, escaped from prison as part of nationwide civil unrest over widespread voting irregularities in the country’s recent presidential election. And boy doesn’t that sound familiar?

       France avoided the bloodshed, but after a vote of no confidence removed the prime minister, a new prime minister has named a new government, fate as yet to be determined.

     So these are apparently the times that try our souls, people. But I wonder, where are the songs of protest? We Shall Overcome! Never mind where all the flowers have gone, where are the Woody Guthries, Pete Seegers, the Bob Dylans for Pete’s sake! 

     Tik-tok and Beyoncé and Taylor Swift don’t cover all the disharmony.

      President Joe Biden just formally recognized the bald eagle as the official national bird. Long overdue, I’d say,  and fitting. But that proud, beautiful bird needs a new “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” one for the 21st-century. Please!

       Meanwhile, I’m going to keep working out with my chopsticks.

Trump and Putin in Helsinki.

By Bob Gaydos

     The big political news this week is that Donald Trump, when he was president, sent Vladimir Putin a care package — a Covid test device for his personal use. This, at a time when such tests were extremely difficult to come by in this country, never mind Russia, and when Trump was going around telling Americans not to worry, it will pass like the flu. Drink bleach if you feel the need to do something.

     Also, it was reported that Trump, when he was no longer president, had at least seven private phone calls with the Russian president. Offhand, that sounds illegal.

      This “news” was reported first in The Washington Post, courtesy of a leak about its appearing in a soon-to-be -released new book by Bob Woodward, former ace Post investigative reporter, who reportedly still has some kind of working relationship with the newspaper.

      Woodward also had some kind of working relationship with Trump, who apparently trusted him because of the fame attached to Woodward’s role in breaking the Watergate story in the Nixon years. Ego always drives Trump. So Woodward apparently has had this information on Trump for some time, but chose to hang on to it until he had a deal for the book. Guaranteed big bucks. That suggests that Woodward’s working relationship with the Post is a little fluid, shall we say. Let’s save it for an October Surprise.

     Surprise! Donald Trump is in bed with Vladimir Putin.

     I’m not saying it isn’t news or that it isn’t important news, especially coming at this point in the presidential campaign between Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris. It’s the kind of news that might make even many cowardly Republicans finally rebuke Trump because it could finally convince some unfathomably uncommitted voters that Trump is a legitimate threat to American democracy.

       It doesn’t get more personal than giving rare life-protecting health equipment to a longtime enemy while your own citizens are dying for lack of it. It doesn’t get any more illegal than holding private talks with said enemy when you are no longer president of the United States.

      To wit, from the Cornell Law School: “Any citizen of the United States, wherever he may be, who, without authority of the United States, directly or indirectly commences or carries on any correspondence or intercourse with any foreign government or any officer or agent thereof, with intent to influence the measures or conduct of any foreign government or of any officer or agent thereof, in relation to any disputes or controversies with the United States, or to defeat the measures of the United States, shall be fined … or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.”

      Ever wonder what Trump planned to do with all those classified documents he had stored in his bathroom at Mar-a-Lago? Why he called the Russian invasion of Ukraine “very smart?”

      I have three reactions to all this. One, I’m glad the information all came out a month before election day. Woodward is a trusted journalist and the information ought to convince some people who are somehow still on the fence about the election. Two, I’m disappointed that Woodward held on to this information for who knows how long when he is well aware of the unique importance of this presidential election to America. Three, I am not at all surprised by the information because I have been convinced that Trump has been somehow compromised by Putin ever since their private meeting in Helsinki in 2018.

     I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again, Putin emerged from that meeting looking like he had swallowed, not the canary, but the American eagle, and Trump looked like a teenaged boy who had just been caught doing something best done in private and was going to be blackmailed for it for the rest of his life.

      Just because “The Manchurian Candidate” was a movie doesn’t mean it couldn’t be happening before our very eyes. Especially with an ego-driven, cowardly person like Trump. Putin owns Trump. It’s not just Trump’s admiration for “strong“ leaders, I don’t think. Putin’s got the goods on Trump and Trump has been trying to satisfy his master, by sabotaging NATO and refusing to support Ukraine, among other things. Some might scoff that this is just another wild conspiracy theory. I’ve mocked conspiracy theorists myself. But it’s not a theory when it’s staring us in the face.

       Woodward’s new book is entitled “War.” It’s available on Amazon if you want to send a gift copy to your friendly neighborhood Republican. I’m fine with the excerpts in The New York Times.

By Bob Gaydos

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky and Republican presidential nominee, former U.S. President Donald Trump, shake hands during a meeting in New York City.

    Two reality TV stars met in New York last week to engage in international diplomacy in conjunction with the annual meeting of the United Nations General Assembly. The ironies abounded but were pretty much ignored (or just missed) by much of the so-called mainstream media.

      Start with the fact that both men, political novices, were elected president of their homelands by virtue of the popularity of television shows in which they starred.

      Donald Trump rode the false image created of him as a shrewd businessman on “The Apprentice” all the way to the White House. The real-life baron of bankruptcy court was going to make America great again.

      Volodymyr Zelensky parlayed his TV portrayal of a sincere teacher turned novice president determined to clean up corruption in Ukraine into the real president’s job in Kiev.

      You really can’t make this stuff up.

       Zelensky’s TV show, “Servant of the People,” was not technically a reality show, but its satire was aimed directly at the reality of life in Ukraine at the time. It ran for three years and catapulted the actor to the international stage. Let’s see if he can really clear up the corruption.

       The plot for both has turned deadly serious the past four years. That’s what brought the two men — one ex-president trying to regain power, one current president trying to preserve his country — together in New York.

       Trump, whose presidency was punctuated by a tax cut for wealthy Americans, a series of unkept promises (the Wall, the infrastructure, health care) and the deaths of more than 400,000 Americans due to his lack of a policy to deal with the Covid virus, is desperately trying to get re-elected president to stay out of prison.

     To refresh your memory: After leaving office in 2021, he was indicted on 88 felony charges, ranging from trying to overturn the legitimate results of the 2020 election to unlawful possession of classified government documents and falsifying documents in connection with a hush money scheme to cover up an affair with a porn star that could have derailed his 2016 run for president. He has been convicted of 34 felonies in connection with that case in New York and sentencing is scheduled for Nov. 26.

     If he is elected president, he undoubtedly will try to use the recently created presidential immunity ruling by the Supreme Court to get rid of the conviction, even though he wasn’t president when he committed the crimes. Hey, what’s the point of having power if you can’t appoint judges to save your behind.

      Zelinsky, of course, has been waging a war, not primarily with corruption, but with Russia, which invaded Ukraine in 2022. That was the point of his New York meeting with Trump.

      Much as he undoubtedly doesn’t respect Trump, Zelinsky knows that, if by chance, Trump is elected president again, Ukraine’s future in the war could change dramatically. Trump has made no secret of his infatuation with Russian Premier Vladimir Putin. Trump has also questioned United States weapons and funding in support of Ukraine and he has also cast doubt on future U.S. support for NATO, which has been a strong supporter of Ukraine in the war. 

         And let’s not forget that one of two impeachments of Trump when he was president involved his effort to get Zelinsky to fabricate corruption evidence against Hunter and Joe Biden in connection with Hunter’s business dealings in Ukraine. The aim was to help Trump’s presidential run against Joe, who is Hunter’s father. Trump threatened to withhold U.S. weapons aid to Ukraine, which was fighting Russian separatists in eastern Ukraine, if Zelinsky did not cooperate. Zelinsky stayed mum. A Republican Senate acquitted Trump.

      Despite this sketchy history, Zelinsky, as president of Ukraine, had to make an effort in New York with Trump, just in case. 

      What did that effort produce? Trump’s version of another popular American TV show: “Let’s Make a Deal.”

     After meeting with the Ukrainian president for 40 minutes, the ever-transactional Trump told Fox News, “We both want to see this end, and we both want to see a fair deal made. … The president wants it to end, and he wants it to end as quickly as possible. He wants a fair transaction to take place.”

    What kind of fair transaction? Earlier in the week, Trump described Ukraine as “demolished” and said, “Any deal — the worst deal — would’ve been better than what we have now. If they made a bad deal, it would’ve been much better. They would’ve given up a little bit and everybody would be living and every building would be built and every tower would be aging for another 2,000 years.”

    In other words, give Putin the territory Russia now illegally occupies in Ukraine and count your blessings. Fair deal.

      After his meeting with Trump, Zelinsky had a somewhat different take on the situation: “We need to do everything to pressure him (Putin) to stop this war. He is in our territory. That’s most important to understand. He is in our territory.”

    Trump (not understanding):  “We (Zelinsky and Trump) have a very good relationship. And I also have a very good relationship, as you know, with President Putin. And if we win, I think we’re going to get it resolved very quickly.” (See: The Wall, infrastructure, health care … )

       Zelensky: “I hope we have more good relations between us.”       

       Trump: “But, you know, it takes two to tango.”

        Right. … Flashback to 2018 when President Trump and Premier Putin had a private tete-a-fete at their Helsinki summit meeting and Putin exited the room with a big grin and shoulders all puffed up and Trump came out slumped over, looking like a scared little puppy dog. Remember?

           Yeah. It’s not a reality TV show, but rather, a movie: “The Manchurian Candidate.” But Trump still has the starring role.

By Bob Gaydos

Trump and Harris at the debate.

 “First you say you do and then you don’t.

   Then you say you will and then you won’t.

    You’re undecided now, so what are you gonna do?”

     Those are the lyrics to a song that was popular in the ‘40s and ‘50s, recorded by, among others, Ella Fitzgerald and the Ames Brothers.

       A simple song for a simpler time. Today, the song’s predicament remains the same. Someone has extreme difficulty making up his or her mind. But there is a heightened urgency to a need for the answer and growing frustration with those who can’t provide it.

        Yeah, we’re talking about those “undecided” voters who watched the recent debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris and still can’t figure out who they want to be President of the United States.

        Really?

        Harris was cool, calm and confident, exactly what one would hope of the current vice president of the United States, also a former senator and prosecutor. She spoke from experience and with compassion. She mostly didn’t try to evade questions and definitely didn’t make stuff up.

   Trump?

    On abortion: “They’re executing newborn babies.”

    Out of the blue: “They’re performing transgender operations on illegal aliens in prison.”

     Immigration: “In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs, the people that came in (Haitian immigrants). They’re eating the cats. They’re eating — they’re eating the pets of the people that live there.”

     On replacing Obamacare: Moderator (frustrated) : “So just yes or no. You do have a plan?

      Trump: “I have concepts of a plan.”

       The rest was mostly stream-of-consciousness blaming of immigrants for imagined increases in crime rates, defensiveness over the size of crowds at his rallies, mumbo jumbo about tariffs and praise for the two most dangerous leaders in Europe, Russia’s Vladimir Putin and Hungary’s Viktor Orban. Also a lot of angry faces.

        And yet, some people described by various media outlets as “undecided voters” in a very close contest, said they still haven’t decided which of the candidates they would like to hold the most powerful office on the planet. 

        Whew…. I don’t know who these people are but, you know what, I don’t believe some of them and, in these changing times, the rest will just have to change their tune and, as Paul Simon sang, “Get on the bus, Gus,” and set themselves free with President Kamala Harris.   

rjgaydos@gmail.com

By Bob Gaydos

Rapper Lil Jon juices, the Democratic national convention.

 Chicago (cue music)

     “Mr. Chairman! The great state of Euphoria, where men are proud fathers and women are allowed to come out of the kitchen and be corporate executives, where we teach real history in our schools and don’t ban books, where the concept of equal rights is embraced, where LGBTQ spells freedom, where no one is above the law, where the air is clean and we like it that way … the state of rock and roll and hip hop and anything Willie Nelson does, where there are no white, brown or black jobs, where veterans are respected and democracy cherished, the state of presidents and patriots, poets and perfect sunsets … Euphoria, where the right to vote and the right to choose are sacred, where we love our country and honor our commitments, the state full of hope for the future of America, proudly casts all 47 of its votes for the next president of the United States, the first black/Asian woman president of the United States, the tough, young, smart prosecutor who we think once went to school here or at least we wish she had, the current Vice President of the United States … KAMALA HARRIS!”

 Milwaukee

     “Mr. Chairman, the state of Submission, where real men carry guns and all women carry babies, where we protect our children from pornographic literature and communist ideas, where people know their place and the only votes that count are the ones we say count, the state that knows best what is best for its citizens, casts its however many votes you say we have for the overweight, old sex offender with the orange hair and big wad of tape on his ear who was just convicted of 34 felonies, is accused of attempting a coup, is buddies with Vladimir Putin and wants to protect America from sharks, social security and windmills … the man who once bankrupted a casino and said Covid would pass quickly, the great leader of our party … the former… umm, Trump.”

rjgaydos@gmail.com

By Bob Gaydos

Snoop Dogg, Olympics ambassador extraordinaire.

    Tim Walz may be on to something. The newly anointed Democratic candidate for vice president went viral a few days ago when he labeled an entire political party — the other one, the Republicans — as “weird.” No sooner had he said it, everyone else seemed to notice and started doing the same thing.

   Well, not the Republicans. They didn’t like it, although it’s difficult to figure out why since they haven’t really objected to being called mindless cult followers of a racist con man for several years now.

     But that’s not the point here. Walz’s weird proclamation suddenly seems to be manifesting all over the news:

      — Bobby Kennedy Jr., the crown prince of weird, went for the gold medal right off the bat, confessing to leaving a dead bear cub in Central Park 10 years ago. Yes, that news does make one pause and say, “Why?”

      Well, it seems Junior  came across a dead bear cub that had been hit by a car in front of him and collected it to take home and skin it because “it was in very good condition. I was going to put the meat in my refrigerator — and you can do that in New York State.” Kennedy was explaining that in a social media video to, umm, Roseanne Barr (remember her?), for whatever reason.

     He said he had dinner with friends later who said it would be funny to leave the bear in the park, next to a bicycle, suggesting a cyclist had hit and killed the bear. Yuk yuk. (Alcohol was included with dinner.) The story of the dead bear in Central Park was big for a while and a mystery that remained unsolved until now. Also, this man wants your votes to be president of the United States.

   — Snoop Dog was “reportedly” being paid $500,000 a day by NBC to be a roving commentator and ambassador of goodwill at the Paris Olympics. Reportedly is in quotes because I couldn’t find any story with Mr. Dogg or NBC confirming that outrageous amount, other than a secondhand account of an overheard conversation. That’s weird, but it passes for journalism these days.

    For his reported half mill a day, the rapper has hit all the venues, dressed appropriately, swam, ran, talked about gymnasts, horses and skateboarders and has had a grand old time in Paris on NBC’s dime. 

  He was also clever enough to avoid swimming in the Seine. A bunch of athletes were taken ill after participating in races in the storied river. E. coli was said to be the culprit. Seems Paris has a combined sewer system, so wastewater and stormwater use the same pipes, meaning heavy rain can cause untreated wastewater to overflow into the river. Dunno. Seems weird to me to have Olympic athletes swimming with this risk, even in la belle Paris.

   — Beyond weird, to me at least, is NASA’s insistence on depending on Boeing as one of its two providers of ferry services to the International Space Station.

   Two astronauts were carried to the Space Station aboard Boeing’s Starliner in June, but only after a delayed maiden launch due to leaky valves and stuff like that, which you don’t really want on your super expensive spaceship. It’s all too reminiscent of Boeing’s 747 jumbo jets crashing in the past (64 planes, more than 3,000 deaths) and doors falling off their planes in flight in the present. 

   Anyway, the astronauts got to the Space Station, but now it seems the Starliner, which was supposed to bring them back after an eight-day visit, is having some, uh, leaky problems. Also thrusters not thrusting. So the astronauts have to hang out a bit longer than expected. About six months longer.

  Despite Boeing’s assurance that their spacecraft is safe to return the astronauts, NASA is saying it’s probably going to use Elon Musk’s more reliable Space X rocket for that task. That flight is scheduled for next February.

      The astronauts, Navy veterans, reportedly have plenty of company (the ISS has room for eight) and jobs to keep them busy until then. It also gives Congress enough time to get Boeing back to the Capitol to explain why its flying machines seem to still have so much trouble just flying and NASA to explain why it’s spending and depending on such an undependable company.

   — Finally, it seems Vladimir Putin has his own weird definition of what war is all about. The Russian president, who launched a full-scale invasion into neighboring Ukraine, which has resulted in widespread death and destruction in that country but little success in terms of achieving his goal of annexation, recently accused Ukraine of a “large-scale provocation” when Ukrainian forces reportedly raided an area in southwestern Russia causing some death and destruction. Weird, huh? Guess the Ukrainians didn’t read the ground rules.

   — And really finally, giving a gold medal for breaking, as in breakdancing, in the Olympics to me is, well, weird.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

… Or, when I realized that my suspicion that The New York Times was not going to do anything to help save democracy in America was correct.

                                ***

“To say that the threats of democracy are so great that the media is going to abandon its central role as a source of impartial information to help people vote — that’s essentially saying that the news media should become a propaganda arm for a single candidate, because we prefer that candidate’s agenda.”

— Joe Kahn, editor NY Times,

May 5 in an interview with Semafor

                         ***

  “On this particular day, I looked to see what the great gray lady, The New York Times, had to say about the Trump trial. Its editorial went into great detail, carefully explaining all the nuances of the justice system and why everything was being done the way it was being done, etc. It was not until the end of what the paper itself described as “a seven-minute read,” that the editorial referred to Trump’s “disregard for the rule of law and his willingness to demean American justice when it suits his interests.”

   It continued, “Those actions render him manifestly unfit for office and would pose unique dangers to the United States during a second term. The greatest of those dangers, and the one that Americans should be most attuned to, is the damage that a second Trump presidency would inflict on the rule of law.”

      Well, no you-know-what Sherlock. Did no one at the Times ever explain to the editorial writer that “don’t bury the lead“ applies to editorials as well as news stories. Seven minutes to tell people don’t ever put this lunatic in office again? He’s too dangerous?! “Manifestly unfit!”

    Give me a break! Tell them at the top, tell them why and tell them again at the bottom. Tell them every damn day while you’ve still got a press! Geez, people, this is no time to be gentle.”

— Me, April 18, in a column on Substack and zestoforange.com

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— The time, spring, 2034. The scene: A New York Times editor is watching the news on Government Channel 1 with his 10 year-old daughter.

Daughter: “Daddy, what were you doing when our great Orange Leader, who sadly just died, was saying he had to be made president for life, so that he could save the country from all the evil people trying to sneak into it and send them all back where they came from, and that he had to release all of those people who were wrongly put in jail for trying to kill the vice president, who was actually a traitor, and free the Capitol from a Congress that wasn’t following the Constitution and that he needed to punish all those people who were telling all those lies about him and stop Congress from sending money to Ukraine for weapons to fight Russia because Czar Putin was a good man and that we really needed instead to focus on saving the world from windmills? And he did! Do you remember what you were doing when he was saying all that?”

Daddy: “Well, yes, honey, I was a reporter at The Times and my job was writing about whether Marjorie Taylor Greene, an influential member of Congress at the time and now Secretary of State, thought the plans of our aging president, Joe Biden, for example to make life more affordable for everyone and to let people actually make their own decisions about their own lives, made any sense.

Daughter. Oh. Cool.

— Bob Gaydos