Addiction and Recovery

By Bob Gaydos  

Hosts should know that “No, thank you“ is an acceptable answer at holiday parties.

    When I began writing my Addiction and Recovery column 18 years ago, it soon became obvious to me from conversations with people in recovery that this time of the year could be challenging, especially for those with alcohol or food disorders. Accordingly, and because new people enter recovery each year, I have made this particular column an annual offering.

***

    We are entering the so-called Bermuda Triangle of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s, the time to “eat, drink, and be merry.” That can be tough to do when you’re an alcoholic in early recovery, someone with an eating disorder, or someone who just loves to use the credit card. Addicts all in their own way. Times have changed. We now have California sobriety, Dry Januarys, fancy mocktails. But the suggestions in this column remain pretty much the same, many of them gleaned from talking to members of Alcoholics Anonymous with longtime sobriety. If  it’s not broke, they suggest, don’t fix it.    But, as time has gone on, I’ve learned that an equally important audience for this column are the party givers, some of whom may not understand the challenges of recovery. So, gracious hosts, this one’s also for you.

    People who have found their way to recovery, be it via a 12-step program or otherwise, have been given suggestions on how to survive the season of temptation without relapse. If they use these tools, with practice, they can even enjoy the season.

   It’s the rest of you I’m mainly talking to here. You hosts, family members, well-meaning friends who want to be supportive and do the right thing, but aren’t sure what that is. And yes, to those who don’t get the concept of addiction at all, but can still avoid harming a relationship by following a few basic suggestions. So, herewith, some coping tools for the non-addicted, if you will:

• “No, thank you” is a complete sentence and perfectly acceptable answer. It should not require any further explanation. “One drink won’t hurt you” is a dangerously ill-informed reply. The same goes for, “A few butter cookies won’t hurt. C’mon, it’s Christmas.” Or, “Get the dress. Put it on your credit card. You’ll feel better.” Not really.
• By the way, “No, thank you” is an acceptable answer even for people not in recovery. Not everyone who turns down a second helping of stuffing or a piece of pumpkin pie is a member of Overeaters Anonymous. Not everyone who prefers a ginger ale rather than a beer is a member of AA. Not everyone who won’t go into hock for an expensive New Year’s Eve party is a compulsive debtor. But some of them may be.
•  If you’re hosting a party to which people in recovery have been invited, have some non-alcoholic beverages available. Not just water. There are plenty of new ones available. Don’t make a big deal about having them, just let your guests know they are available. The same goes for food. Have some appetizing low-calorie dishes and healthful desserts on hand. Don’t point out that they’re there because so-and-so is watching his weight. Just serve them. You’ll be surprised how many guests enjoy them and comment on what a good host you are.
• If you’re honestly concerned about how the person in recovery is doing, approach him or her privately. He or she might not feel comfortable discussing it in front of other guests. If you’re just curious, keep it to yourself.

     Honoring a guest’s wishes is a sign of respect. Anticipating them in advance is even better. Encouraging someone to eat, drink or spend money when they don’t want to is, at the very least, not gracious. Pressuring someone to partake of something when you know he or she is trying hard to avoid it is a good way to lose a friend. Addictions are not trivial matters. “No, thank you,” is a perfectly good answer. Members of  Alcoholics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous and Debtors Anonymous will be especially appreciative if you remember that. 

Enjoy your party.

                               ***

   For recovering addicts, the tools should be familiar, but always bear repeating:

•  Bring a recovery friend to a party.
•  Have phone numbers and your own transportation available if you want to leave an uncomfortable situation.
•  If you’re uncomfortable about attending a party because of who will be there, be it family or friends who are not supportive, don’t go. Politely decline. 
•  Keep track of your drink. If you’re not sure the one on the table is yours, get a new one.
•  When shopping, deal in cash; forget about credit cards.
•  Don’t feel obliged to try every dish on the table. 
• And, again, “No, thank you,” is a complete sentence. Don’t feel obliged to explain and don’t worry about hurting your host’s feelings at the expense of your recovery. There’s always next year.

     Enjoy your recovery.

For more information:

Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org

Overeaters Anonymous: www.oa.org

Debtors Anonymous: debtorsanonymous.org

PS: Don’t be shy about sharing this column with anyone you think would benefit from it. And enjoy your holidays.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

The following is an update of a column I wrote 12 years ago. I am re-posting it today on the 62nd anniversary of the assassination of president John F. Kennedy because of its significance in my life and because of the times we live in. Would things have been different if Kennedy had lived to continue serving? I have no way of knowing. I’d like to think the answer is yes. Joe Biden was the oldest elected president this country has ever had. Kennedy was the youngest. They shared the same dedication to protecting our democracy. I continue to celebrate Kennedy on the birth date I share with him and I also honor his memory on the anniversary of the day he was taken from us. A day history was altered forever.

By Bob Gaydos

John F. Kennedy

 The first editorial I wrote for the Times Herald-Record in Middletown, N.Y., appeared on the 20th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy. I wrote the headline, too: “The measure of the man.” 
      Trying to “measure” the meaning of the life of a man who was literally loved and idolized by millions of people is no easy task, especially for a rookie editorial writer’s debut effort. But that’s what newspapers do and, in truth, I took it as a good omen that remembering JFK was my first assignment. He was a hero to me as to many young men my age when he was elected president. It was a combination of things: his youth, his wit, his easy-going style, his intelligence, his words, his sense of justice. Plus, we shared the same birthdate: May 29.
     As fate would have it, JFK would come to be remembered, not on his birthday, but on the anniversary of his death. And not so much for what Americans received for having him as president for 1,000 days, but rather for what we lost by not having him much longer.
     That first editorial said, in essence, that it would take more than 20 years to measure the meaning of the man. It acknowledged the things we had learned about JFK in the years since the shooting in Dallas — the flaws that made him human — as well as what I felt were his positive contributions. Thirty years later, no longer a rookie editorial writer — indeed, retired after 23 years of writing editorials — with Nov. 22 approaching, I realized I had to write about JFK 50 years after his death (because that’s what old newspaper guys do). Before I started, I asked one of my reliable sounding boards, my son, Zack, what he knew about JFK. Zack was 19 at the time and better informed than a lot of young people his age, so I figured his answer would provide me with a fair sense of what our education system had been telling kids about Kennedy.

   “He was the first Catholic president,” Zack said. Correct. “He had an affair with Marilyn Monroe.” Uh, correct. ‘There’s still some theories that there was more than one shooter.” Right. “Do you think the Kevin Costner movie (“JFK,” directed by Oliver Stone) was true?” Well, the people portrayed were real. “The Bay of Pigs didn’t go too well.” No, it didn’t. I took the opportunity to point out that Cuba was the site, not only of Kennedy’s biggest failure in global affairs, but also his biggest success.

     I was 22 years  old when the world stood at the brink of a nuclear war over the presence of Soviet missile-launching sites in Cuba, aimed at the United States. I was a senior in college and knew full well, as did all my classmates, than no 2-S deferment was going to exempt me from what might happen if the Soviets did not — as Kennedy demanded — remove their missiles. Kennedy ordered the U.S. Navy to blockade Cuba to prevent the shipment of Soviet missiles and equipment. Nikita Khrushchev, Soviet president, who had initially denied the existence of the missile sites, sent a naval fleet to Cuba, loaded with supplies and armed for battle. As the world watched and waited and prayed, Kennedy and Khrushchev exchanged messages. Kennedy prevailed. The Soviet fleet stopped short of Cuba and turned around. I lived to write this remembrance. Kennedy was dead not long after.

     So here I am 62 years later, still looking to take the measure of the man and still wondering how that is possible. Kennedy had the gift of engagement. He appeared to be comfortable with whomever he was speaking. He had tremendous appeal to young people, being so different from the older, stodgier presidents who preceded him. He created the Peace Corps — a legacy that continues to this day with not enough fanfare. He made many Americans — and this is not a small thing — truly proud to be Americans. Not in an arrogant, flag-waving, we-know-better-than-you way. Just proud. And he cheated on his wife and kept his serious health problems a secret from us and sometimes needed to be prodded by his brother, Bobby (another tragic loss) to take the proper (courageous) stand on issues.

      So the question I still ask myself is, what might JFK have done, what might he have meant to America and the world, if he had lived longer? What did we lose at Dealey Plaza? Certainly, whatever innocence we still possessed. The wind was sucked from our sails as a nation and our domestic politics have slowly and steadily deteriorated into such partisanship that it is virtually impossible for any president to speak to the minds and hearts of a majority of Americans the way Kennedy did. Maybe it would have happened even if Kennedy had lived a longer life and gone on to be an ambassador to the world of what America stands for. Or maybe not.

     It dawns on me in writing this that it is an ultimately frustrating task to try to take the measure of another man or woman. I know what JFK meant to me personally. I know a lot of others feel similarly and others do not. I know what history has recorded (he was also the youngest man to be elected president) and what the tabloids have told us. I have a sense of what I would like to think Kennedy would ultimately have meant had he not died so young. But it’s only speculation.

     The only man I can truly take the measure of is myself. It is 62 years since that morning when I was waiting at home to go to Fort Dix, N.J., to begin six months of active duty training. How do I measure up today? That’s a question I still work on every day. It wasn’t always thus, but the years have a way of insisting on perspective. Maybe the answer will appear in some other writing. I have neither the space nor the inclination to do so here. I will say that, on balance, I’ll probably give myself a passing grade, but there’s still some stuff I’m learning. That’s a lesson in itself. For now, I’m through trying to take the measure of JFK, as man or president. Let the historians have at it. I’m going to try to take his advice and ask not what life can do for me, but what I can continue to contribute to life. And I’m also going to continue to celebrate him not on the date he died, but on the date we both were born. 

By Bob Gaydos

The Rapture

    The note on my phone consisted of just three words: “A reasonable Rapture.”

     They were the result of venturing out of the house and out of my own mind to have coffee with a friend. I think they call it a conversation.

      I’m often amazed at what comes out of my mouth when I leave my mind behind. But this, the more I looked at it, it started to make sense.

       What is a reasonable Rapture? I asked myself. Or, more accurately, what would a reasonable Rapture look like if there was ever to be one? Well, that certainly stirs the creative juices.

        The traditional view of the Rapture among some evangelical Christians is that Jesus will return to “catch up” living believers to meet him in the air, while dead believers will be resurrected to join him. The rest of us non-believers will be left behind to deal with the Tribulations.

        Most Christian denominations do not ascribe to this view and the term “Rapture” is not specifically mentioned in the Bible. However, many American evangelicals do believe in it and the concept has been the subject of several books and movies.

        So what would a reasonable Rapture be for me? Being a non-believer in this particular case, I start by assuming I’m part of the left behind crowd. The ones who discover empty clothes lying on the ground where their loved ones or nosy neighbors used to be. It could be a little freaky. No goodbye note, no text, just a pile of laundry.

        In my case, it would be reasonable to believe that my loved ones and a fair amount of my friends would also still be here, scratching their heads, wondering where all the other people went.

        Then, one of the more informed would remember seeing a social media post about some evangelicals who believed in something called the Rapture. Up in the sky. Goodbye. Someone else would remember reading the book or seeing the movie “Left Behind.”

        Well, OK then. Let’s see who’s still here. Seeing as the evangelicals who were believers were also big Trump fans, we could assume that a lot of the MAGA crowd were, uh, gone.

         That’s good. Stress level on the planet should fall by about 50%. That’s reasonable. But what about the Tribulations? Trump would still be around because, for all his kissing up to the evangelicals, everything about him is a big lie. No Rapture for him.

       But wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume that, with all his followers up in the sky flying to their just reward, he would be a cult leader without a cult? That should clear the way for impeachment proceedings in Congress, conviction, arrests on various felony charges, including those connected with the Epstein files, and humiliation on the world stage. Other than Stephen Miller, Pam Bondi, Kristi Noem and Pete Hegseth, who would care? 

    That would leave us with JD Vance as president, which is no prize, but still better than Trump. Vance has zero personality and, with most of MAGA gone, no real following. As someone who has shown he is more than willing to change his opinion and politics and résumé to save his career, he might be more than willing to do so to save his soul. Sounds reasonable and it would give him a great story for his second novel.

     Whatever, he would just be a short term fill-in while political leaders of both parties (but especially Republicans) in this country. start thinking about ways to work together again. I mean, wouldn’t that be a reasonable message from a Rapture?

     The ICE workers, most of whom would likely still be here, could be reassigned to going around the country and picking up all the laundry lying in the streets as part of their prison work release program.

     While we’re at it, those of us left behind might be shook up enough by the Rapture to look around and see other things that needed changing. Like maybe getting rid of the whole health insurance industry and creating Medicare for all in America. Caring more for each other. That seems like a reasonable reaction to a Rapture to me. Maybe a woman president, too.

     I don’t know; I’m still working on this. Have to make another date for coffee. It’s interesting what you can come up with when you apply reason to religion.

By Bob Gaydos

     With all the celebrating and hope that welcomed Tuesday’s blue wave election results of Democratic victories, I was rewarded with the best kind of all — a race that was a microcosm of today’s Republican Party approach to governing: Unqualified candidate, lying, deceit. Best of all, it was local. And the Democrat won.

      The Town of Wallkill in Orange County, about an hour’s drive from New York City, has been pretty much a Republican stronghold forever. It’s a bustling town that profits from a highway system and a string of malls that grew up around it. It has one of the state’s busier court systems, providing enough work for three town justices.

       When one of the senior justices retired, Republicans offered as candidate a former councilman who is not a lawyer and has no court experience. For some reason with which I am not familiar, New York State allows this. Democrats offered as a candidate a lawyer with 34 years of experience handling hundreds of cases in Family Court and other courts and who also is a key staff member of the Legal Aid Society. A woman, by the way.

      Hands-down, no contest on qualifications and experience. So Republicans, who control the town board, decided the town didn’t need a third judge after all. Couldn’t afford it, they said. They voted to eliminate the position. This, even though the retiring judge said the town really did need three judges and not filling the position would put an unfair burden on the court staff, never mind the two judges left.

      Republicans didn’t budge. However, the Democratic candidate circulated petitions asking for a special referendum reestablishing the third judge position. It passed. But not before more Republican chicanery. 

      They told the Democratic candidate that the wording of the question on the special election would ask voters whether the town should eliminate the third town justice position. So she paid for lawn signs and printed cards to pass around town urging residents to vote no. Then Republicans decided to change the wording to instead ask whether the town should retain its third judge position, making the Democrat’s election handouts extremely counterproductive.

      She went to State Supreme Court to get it changed back. A sympathetic judge said there was nothing she could do, but hoped that the Republicans would do the “decent” thing. 

     They didn’t. 

      Came Tuesday and, following a few months of intensive campaigning, of all things, the Democrat won. Big.

      That’s not all. Wallkill voters kicked out the Republican town supervisor and a councilman, giving Democrats control of the town board. A veritable local earthquake.

       This story is especially rewarding for me because I lived in the town of Wallkill for about two decades and for nearly three decades worked at the local newspaper that would have reported on this incredible local story, if there was a viable local newspaper left in town.

     But that’s another story for another day. This day belongs to Maria Patrizio, Democrat, newly elected Town Justice, Town of Wallkill, Orange County, New York.

Wait your turn.
RJ Photography

By Bob Gaydos

“Fill the feeders!”

A request? An order?

Either way,

                a reminder.

‘Tis November.

     When nature’s shelves go dry,

Be kinder.

Addiction and Recovery

There has been a significant increase in gambling among young adults, especially since the legalization of sports betting.

By Bob Gaydos

“Football, beer, and above all, gambling filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult.”

— George Orwell, “1984”

                                 ***

    Man, was Orwell tuned in.

    My mind went to Orwell’s famous quote when I read about the FBI arresting more than 30 people, including an NBA Star and a head coach as well as several alleged Mafia members in connection with insider sports betting and rigged poker games. The feds say millions of dollars were involved. I say I’m not surprised.

    I’ve been writing this addiction and recovery column for nearly 20 years. Despite all the legitimate focus on the damage wrought by substance abuse and alcoholism and the need to help the addicted find recovery, I’ve always felt that addiction to gambling did more far-reaching harm, affecting more non-addicted people while receiving considerably less attention.

    I also felt that the professional sports leagues were asking for trouble when they linked up officially with legal sports betting. But the lure of big profits, like a winning hand at the casino or the payoff for a missed field goal, proved to be too much. Like addiction.

   So Congress now wants to talk to NBA officials about another star accused of faking an injury to cover an over/under bet and a coach serving as a front for the mob to lure suckers into a rigged poker game.

   That’s good. But I want to talk about the growing problem of gambling addiction, particularly among young adults.

  I don’t believe in coincidences. A recent Gallup Poll got a lot of attention because it found that only 54 percent of U.S. adults said they drink alcohol, an all time low. The decline was most significant among young adults (18-34), for whom the drinking rate has fallen to 50 percent. That’s down from 72 percent two decades ago. Good news, right?

    The decline was attributed to several factors, including greater health awareness, availability of non-alcoholic drinks and, yes, greater accessibility to legalized cannabis.

      But the figures also show that what is called “Problematic gambling” is becoming more common in young adults, with a notable increase in helpline callers between the ages of 18 and 24 since 2019, with the legalization of sports betting.

   The figures also show a significant increase in people searching online for help with gambling addiction, which is now recognized as a mental health disorder. From 2018 to 2023, the National Council on Problem Gambling reported a 30 percent  increase in gambling problems related to sports betting.

    It also reported that Online sportsbooks had a substantially greater impact on those seeking help for gambling addiction than traditional casinos. This is not surprising, given younger generations’ addiction to smartphones and online platforms that make gambling available 24 hours a day as long as you can get a signal.

    But there’s also help available 24 hours a day from local crisis hotlines which have trained counselors who can refer callers to professional help. If you think you’re just dealing with “problematic gambling,” but others think otherwise, Gamblers Anonymous, which offers a 12-step recovery program based on the Alcoholics Anonymous program, has a questionnaire to help you decide.

Gamblers Anonymous 20 questions

1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling? Yes    No
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy? Yes    No
3. Did gambling affect your reputation? Yes    No
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling? Yes    No
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties? Yes    No
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency? Yes    No
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses? Yes    No
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more? Yes    No
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone? Yes    No
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?  Yes No
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling? Yes    No
12. Were you reluctant to use “gambling money” for normal expenditures? Yes    No
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family? Yes    No
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned? Yes    No
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry, trouble, boredom, loneliness, grief or loss? Yes    No
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling? Yes    No
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? Yes    No
18. Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble? Yes    No
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling? Yes    No
20. Have you ever considered self-destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling? Yes    No

      According to GA, most compulsive gamblers will answer ‘’yes’’ to at least 7 of these questions. If that’s the case, talking to someone who knows about how to deal with the “problem” would be the safe bet.

By Bob Gaydos

Wrecking ball demolishing the East Wing of the White House.

— He is tearing down the East Wing of the White House, after saying he would not, to build a garish ballroom. Republicans say nothing.

— He is using our military to murder people on the high seas, in the name of fighting drugs, with no evidence offered of any wrongdoing. Republicans say nothing.

— He is using ICE as a  violent private army to kidnap people off the streets of American cities in the guise of fighting illegal immigration, locking them up in private prisons with no charges filed or sending them to other countries. Republicans say nothing.

— He is three weeks into a government shutdown, with federal employees going unpaid and services curtailed, having made no attempt to reach a budget compromise with Democrats. Republicans say nothing.

— He has scared House Speaker Mike Johnson into keeping the House out of session to work on a budget that will not cause millions of Americans to lose their health insurance because that would also require Johnson to swear in a new Democratic representative, who would be a deciding vote to require release of the Jeffrey Epstein files, which are believed to contain the names of prominent figures (including his) involved in a worldwide sex-trafficking scandal involving teenaged girls. Three Republicans complained.

— He has ordered federal prosecution of persons who he feels have disrespected him in word, in print or in court, offering none or flimsy excuses for evidence of wrongdoing. An enemies list. Republicans say nothing.

— He is ordering the National Guard into American cities governed by Democrats, over the opposition of governors,  while claiming crime is rampant when it is not and ignoring judicial rulings to cease. The Guardsmen are used as stage props. Republicans say nothing.

— He is suing the news media for daring to report the truth and seeking exorbitant sums to settle the suits as a way of silencing the press. Republicans say nothing.

— He is demanding payments from colleges for admission policies and courses which recognize the wide spectrum of people living in this country, as well as its history. Republicans say nothing.

— He is asking the Justice Department, which he has seeded with sycophants and lackeys and inexperienced lawyers, to pay him $230 million restitution for being the subject of several investigations and indictments, which ceased when he became president. Republicans say nothing.

— He has made enemies of America’s traditional allies, such as NATO, Canada and Mexico, through insults and accusations, while cozying up to Vladimir Putin of Russia and other authoritarian leaders. Republicans say nothing.

— He has filled his cabinet with the worst collection of incompetent, publicity seeking misfits in the history of the country. Planes are colliding; people are getting measles again. Republicans say nothing.

— He has played games with tariffs, imposing and threatening huge ones against various countries, disrupting trade, raising the price on imported goods, increasing supermarket shopping costs and causing hardship to farmers already hurting because of the kidnapping of their workers and undoubtedly resulting in profits to family and close associates who know ahead of time when he’s going to change his mind on a tariff and cause some stock to soar or sink because of his illegal market manipulation. Republicans say nothing.

— He pardoned the January 6 rioters, who lay waste to the nation’s Capitol over his false claim that the 2020 election was stolen from him. Republicans say nothing.

— He has hawked watches, sneakers, bitcoin and coins with his name on it, held invitation-only dinners for ultra-wealthy influence seekers and accepted a jet from Qatar, which will cost a fortune to refurbish to use as president and as his personal aircraft in civilian life, all in violation of the law forbidding the office holder from profiting off the presidency. Republicans say nothing.

— He is talking about having a coin minted with his image on it (illegal) and maybe building a triumphal arch honoring him in Washington, D.C. Republicans say nothing.

— He acknowledged the No Kings Day demonstrations, as more than 7 million Americans took to the streets for peaceful protest against all of the above, with a social media post using an AI-generated video showing him as a royal ruler flying over the demonstrators and defecating on them. I repeat: Defecating on them. American citizens. Mikey Johnson called it “satire.” Other Republicans say nothing.

— He plays golf virtually every weekend, displays no working knowledge of math, science, history or how government works, lacks empathy, can’t remember who’s the leader of which country, is unable to give a speech without descending into disconnected sentences of self-glorification and lies about virtually everything, including being shot. Republicans say nothing.

   OK, that’s it. I’m exhausted and that’s only off the top of my head without doing any research.

   Here’s the point: There are elections coming up very soon for state, county, town  and city officials across the country. I have been an independent voter my entire adult life. I voted for whomever I thought was the best candidate for the job. The last few years, my decisions have been simplified. I simply vote for the Democrat. Or, put another way, I never vote for the Republican.

      They have sat by, mostly silently, while this man has laid a wrecking ball to our nation. To our ideals. To our reputation. To our heritage. To our sense of community. To our self-respect.

   Whether it be out of fear or pure complicity, at this point it doesn’t matter anymore. Their silence defines them. They are him.

   I will vote for and/or publicly commend the first local Republican official whom I am aware of speaking critically of him publicly. But it’s been 10 years and I’m still waiting. And I’m not holding my breath.

    Republicans need not say anything.

By Bob Gaydos

You’ve heard of the ride of Paul Revere?

One if by land, two if by sea?

The British are coming …?

Forget it. They’re here.

The tea to be dumped

Is a rodent named Trump.

A king, in his eyes.

On a throne built on lies

and fear and anger and lust

and greed.

I’ve got mine is his line.

I want yours is his screed.

So rally the troops

And take to the streets.

For no kings shall we have

in this land of the free.

Nor rich man’s tax cuts and tariffs

On tea.

No kings, hear us sing,

Shall we ever abide in this land of the free.

And pray, please remember, be strong,

but be wise.

Do not smile or sing till you see the whites of their eyes.

They’ll be wearing red hats, possibly masks

or military guise.

‘Tis a sham, a charade, a fearful display

which their belligerence belies.

Not at midnight comes this ride

to echo Revere,

But at high noon across the land, so that

all the world should hear.

Our country, ‘tis of thee,

sweet land of liberty.

Of thee we sing.

In this land of the free,

we shall have no king.

####

With respect and apologies to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

By Bob Gaydos

Just when I thought I had heard every story about what a racist, bigoted, ugly, ignorant, deplorable collection of cowards the Republican Party has become, a new day brings a new low.

The Young Republicans.

A recently leaked trove of hundreds of chat messages on Telegram from January to August of this year among leaders of the group from around the country included those referring to Black people as monkeys and “the watermelon people.”

Politico, which broke the story, reported that “Chat members joked about putting their political enemies in gas chambers. They joked about rape — one member referred to it as epic.”

And some praised Hitler.

Politico found more than 250 racial, anti-Semitic and other ethnic slurs. All the usual suspects. The chats included messages from leaders of several Young Republican groups, including those in New York, Kansas, Arizona, and Vermont.

Peter Giunta, who was chair of the New York State Young Republicans, was also chief of staff for New York state Assemblymember Mike Reilly. Climbing the ladder. Giunta lost that job and apparently had to return to his parents’ basement to look for some new friends online.

Republican Congresswoman Elise Stefanik, from upstate New York, a strong Trump loyalist until he reneged on her appointment as U.N. ambassador and past recipient of an award from the New York Young Republicans, was critical of the ugly conversations, perhaps aware that they wouldn’t help her upcoming campaign for governor of New York. Just saying.

The ironic part of this whole sleazy mess is that those participating in it were aware that, if their conversations became public, they would be in deep trouble. They even said so. Yet they persisted, perhaps feeling inoculated by the current hateful political climate created by the elders in their party.

While some Republicans have criticized the chats and called for resignation of these Young Republican leaders, a White House spokesperson said it was not fair to try to connect the ugly language to Donald Trump, who, of course, is head of the party and as bigot in charge spews hate and ridicule at those he doesn’t like on a daily basis and has launched a violent campaign against ethnic minorities in America

Number Two, J.D. Vance, described the almost universally horrified reaction to the chats as “pearl clutching.” But that’s J.D. being J.D.

Well, clutch these pearls, Republican officials. These are your party’s future leaders. It’s like a family, folks. The 20 to 40 group. They are simply mimicking the bigotry, ignorance, and hatred they have seen and heard coming from the top because they feel it has been successful. That’s what daddy always says and look at him. He’s a big shot.

No one is telling them otherwise. No one talks about the fear behind the bigotry. Also, apparently no one told them that what’s said in the house, stays in the house. The Young Republican leaders never figured out that if you’re supposed to keep something secret, there might be something wrong with it.

That ignorance, or arrogance, worked until now. Now, the whole world has learned what has been going on behind closed doors and is horrified to learn that it was, in fact, so predictable.

By Bob Gaydos

 It’s all about connecting the dots. That’s what I eventually figured out early in my 23 years of writing daily editorials for The Times Herald-Record in Middletown, N.Y. Six times a week with a break on Saturday. What’s the issue, who’s involved, how does it affect readers and what, if anything, can they do about it. After a while, it became second nature.

     Long retired and, unfortunately, writing about two Trump administrations on my own deadlines, connecting the dots has been challenging. It’s more like following the ball in a pinball machine. Haphazard, slambang, unpredictable, without the fun. All followed by more of the same.

     But I think I’m starting to see some dots.

     Let’s start with Laura Loomer, Trump’s favorite and most avid crackpot fan. Responding to Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s announcement that Qatar will be allowed to operate an Air Force Base in Idaho, Loomer said, “There isn’t a single Trump supporter who supports allowing Qatar to have a military base on U.S. soil. I don’t know who told President Trump this was a good idea, but it has made people not want to vote. … No foreign country should have a military base on US soil. Especially Islamic countries. … I don’t think I’ll be voting in 2026.” Loomer had previously disagreed with Trump’s accepting a $400 million airplane from Qatar as a gift.

       Next dot, Tucker Carlson. Trump’s favorite Fox News host, now an independent podcaster, took issue with comments made by Attorney General Pam Bondi following the killing of Charlie Kirk, a MAGA hero. In the aftermath of Kirk’s killing, there was a flurry of commentary about him, much favorable (from MAGAs), but also a considerable amount that was critical of him. Bondi threatened that the Justice Department would “target” the critical ones, describing it as “hate speech.”

     Carlson, probably recognizing that his entire career depends on freedom of speech, said, “You hope that a year from now, the turmoil we’re seeing in the aftermath of [Kirk’s] murder won’t be leveraged to bring hate speech laws to this country. And trust me, if it is, if that does happen, there is never a more justified moment for civil disobedience than that, ever. Because if they can tell you what to say, they’re telling you what to think … There is nothing they can’t do to you because they don’t consider you human.”

        Dot number three (and probably the most unexpected), Marjorie Taylor Greene. The Republican congresswoman, part of an outspoken group that has driven a couple of speakers out of their jobs in the House of Representatives for not being loyal enough to Trump, has taken sharp issue with Trump, Bondi and House Speaker Mike Johnson over their refusal to release the Jeffrey Epstein files to Congress. Greene has gone so far as to volunteer to read any list of perpetrators’ names provided by Epstein victims on the floor of the House, since the law protects members of Congress from legal action for any comments made on the floor of Congress during debate.

       Greene also has criticized Johnson for keeping the House in recess while the government is shut down and refusing to swear in a newly elected congresswoman from Arizona, who would be the deciding vote requiring release of the Epstein files to Congress. Discarding the Republican talking points that the shutdown is the fault of Democrats, Greene also points to the fact that the budget presented by Republicans will cause millions of Americans to lose their health insurance and sharply raise the insurance rates for millions of others, including, as she points out, her own children.

      More dots: Trump mysteriously went to the Walter Reed Medical Center for his “annual“ check up, even though he had one In April, but no detailed report on his health was released. Just the usual, he’s OK, while rumors persist that he’s not and his daily public utterances are a word salad of self-praise and misinformation and obvious declining mental acuity. Other Republicans in the House, hearing complaints from their districts about losing health insurance, are privately grumbling over Johnson’s refusal to negotiate with Democrats on a budget. And Johnson, going straight from the Republican playbook, has taken to describing the coming No Kings protest as a “hate America rally.”

    Fear, panic, over-reaching and ignoring your supporters just to feather your nest and protect your own hide. The Trump playbook, but very poorly done. It was not a good week for Trump or MAGA. What would make it even worse, dear readers, would be for the No Kings protest to be the biggest pro-America rally ever.

    Dots all for now.