By Bob Gaydos

Elise Stefanik … pondering her future

  Poor Elise Stefanik. She just got Trumpified out of the dream job of her young lifetime, the crowning glory if you will of all that scraping, bowing, butt-kissing, lying, conniving, scheming and surrendering of personal dignity required to become the Orange One’s nominee as Ambassador to the United Nations, and no one noticed because the rest of the Trump cabinet shared classified war plans on a private chat line that they are forbidden to use for such purposes and somehow managed to include a bonafide — as in ethical and trained — journalist on the chat, which has the Trump team all in distract, lie and point fingers mode because many average Americans can understand a breach of national security even when their Social Security office is closed and a lot of people want Trump to fire Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth even though Trump said he was told no classified information was included in the unsecure chat of the bombing of Yemen’s Houthis, which, it being a warlike act, one might expect the chief executive to be in on the action, and the group was caught with their collective pants down when the journalist, Jeffrey Goldberg, editor of The Atlantic magazine, followed up his original story on being mysteriously included on the chat by publishing the entire thread since Trump said it wasn’t classified, although having the sense to redact the name of an undercover CIA agent that Tulsi Gabbard, director of intelligence, happened to drop into the chat, although she couldn’t remember much of anything when members of Congress asked her about it, which was reminiscent of Trump’s response when he couldn’t remember signing an order citing an old wartime act to justify shipping a couple of hundred migrants, who may or may not be members of a Venezuelan gang, to a brutal prison in El Salvador, despite the order of a federal judge not to do so, said judge now serendipitously being the one also assigned to a case in which a private watchdog group, American Oversight, is accusing the Trump Administration of breaking the law, because all intergovernmental communications are required to be preserved, while the beauty of the Signal chat app the war group used is that it eventually deletes all conversations, making it hard to be held accountable, which is why, of course, the aforesaid judge has ordered all members of the chat to preserve everything on their phones and as he is already ticked at being given the runaround by Trump’s lawyers on the deportation matter, was in no mood for any more nonsense on a serious national security issue, which is why hardly anybody knows that poor Elise Stefanik of upstate New York, who did a victory tour of the Adirondacks and fired most of her congressional staff to become part of Trump’s cabinet, is now being told to be patient, go back to Congress even though you’ve lost your leadership position, be a good soldier  and run again for Congress in two years, because we are afraid that we can lose your seat, even though you and Trump carried the district easily, if somebody new runs for the Republican Party, and we only have a couple of seats to spare to control the House of Representatives and heck, you understand it’s all politics, and if we lose control in two years, we can’t do any of the neat crap we’ve been doing — firing people, threatening Greenland — and then you’ll probably never get to be UN ambassador anyway, so please and thank you, Elise.

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PS: You think it’s easy covering these people?

Fans of Woodstock may have a choice of two 50th Anniversary concerts to choose from. Or maybe not.

By Bob Gaydos

A look at the news, by the numbers:

• 7: The percentage of the United States Senate that is running for president (so far) in 2020. All seven are Democrats and four of them are women. The latest count of Democratic presidential candidates stands at 20, I believe, but I could have missed a mayor or state senator or part-time legal clerk who decided that, what the heck, since 2016 proved that anybody really can get elected president in America, why not me?
• 53: The percentage of the United States Senate that is perfectly comfortable with having a president with no understanding of the Constitution or respect for the rule of law, not a modicum of empathy, who lies as naturally as others breathe, has the IQ of a hedgehog (sorry, hedgehogs)  and the curiosity of a Big Mac, is totally consumed with his own image and how much money he and his family can wring out of the presidency before he bankrupts it like everything else he’s touched. All 53 are Republicans. The GOP, of course, used to be the party of law and order, the party that preached moral values and respect for the Constitution. Today, not so much.
• 311: Reportedly, the number of grams of food per day Kim Jung-un, North Korea’s leader, says will be rationed to each citizen as the result of the latest food crisis to hit his nation. A bad harvest left the country 1.36 tons short of grain. The bad harvest came on top of dry spells, abnormally high temperatures and floods, which exacerbated limited supplies of fuel, fertilizer and spare parts, all of which was punctuated by economic sanctions against the country for its continued nuclear weapons buildup. For comparison, the average amount of food a healthy person eats daily in a non-rationed nation is four pounds. That’s about 1,800 grams. The North Korea ration diet is mostly rice and kimchi (cabbage), very little protein. About 10 million people — about 40 percent of North Korea’s population  — are affected by the food shortage. Of course, not Kim and his friends, or those who have access to the black market.
• 3 million: Number of North Koreans estimated to have died in that nation’s famine in the late 1990s, when the ration system collapsed. The question is whether Kim is willing to continue the family tradition of letting millions of  countrymen and women die rather than abandon his nuclear (also chemical and biological) weapons, hoping that Russia or China will come to the rescue. Or, to put it another way — are the rest of the nations of the world willing to let tens of thousands of people die of starvation while they try to figure out how not to nuke each other to death? History is not on the side of hungry North Koreans.
• 1: The number of times the winner of the Kentucky Derby has been disqualified for interference. This year’s 145th Run for the Roses saw the first-place finisher’s number taken down for interference, and not even for interference with the horse eventually declared winner. Maximum Security, the favorite and clearly the best horse in the field, drifted to the outside, preventing War of Will, a legitimate challenger, from moving forward. After watching a video of the race for 20 minutes, stewards stripped Maximum Security of the win and named Country House, a 65-1 shot, the winner.
• $132.40: Payoff on a $2 win bet on Country House. Nice.
• 1: Number of days it took for Trump to say ignore what you see on the tape, forget the rules, the storyline called for Maximum Security to win, so the stewards’ decision was — here comes the buzzword, cultists — “political correctness.” “Bad decision.” To him, all the world is a reality TV show for which he writes the script.
• 2: Number of Woodstock 50th Anniversary celebrations planned for August 15-16 this year. Michael Lang and Woodstock LLC,, had 50 years to plan the ultimate tribute to the iconic festival without the confusion of the original gathering, but just as the 1969 event got bounced around and suffered from a significant error in available crowd accommodation, Woodstock 50, planned for some reason for Watkins Glen, is a whirl of confusion. The event’s major financial backer, Dentsu Aegis Network’s Amplifi Live, said in a statement: “Despite our tremendous investment of time, effort and co mmitment, we don’t believe the production of the festival can be executed as an event worthy of the Woodstock Brand name while also ensuring the health and safety of the artists, partners and attendees.” Lang said his partners had no right to cancel the event and that it was still on, even though you couldn’t buy tickets on the web site. Jay-Z and Miley Cyrus are still coming, Lang assured. He’s suing Dentsu Aegis. Subsequent reports pointed out that, while Watkins Glen is noted for auto racing (the festival is planned for the racetrack), the community does not have hotel and bed and breakfast accommodations to handle the size crowd expected for Woodstock 50. Sound familiar? That means a lot of the space would have to be allotted for campers, which would then cut down on the allowable crowd space, which would then cut down on profits, which would then make Lang’s financial backers’ cold feet explanation more honest. Lang insists Woodstock 50 will be held in Watkins Glen, Aug. 16-18. Oh, that happens to conflict with another 50th celebration of Woodstock at the original site in Bethel. It’s called A Season of Song & Celebration and will be held Aug. 15-18 at Bethel Woods. Naturally, the state is planning major roadwork on the perennially clogged main road to that site during the time the concert is scheduled. Should be like old times.
• Zero: Chances that folks who get to a concert at either of these sites will care about the mixups. Peace and love.
• 50-50: Odds Trump will have something to tweet about Woodstock, which, of course, was his idea until Lang stole it. The 1969 crowd would’ve been huuuger if the Donald’s name was on it.
• 30. It’s a journalism thing. Google it.

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