Trump and Putin in Helsinki.

By Bob Gaydos

     The big political news this week is that Donald Trump, when he was president, sent Vladimir Putin a care package — a Covid test device for his personal use. This, at a time when such tests were extremely difficult to come by in this country, never mind Russia, and when Trump was going around telling Americans not to worry, it will pass like the flu. Drink bleach if you feel the need to do something.

     Also, it was reported that Trump, when he was no longer president, had at least seven private phone calls with the Russian president. Offhand, that sounds illegal.

      This “news” was reported first in The Washington Post, courtesy of a leak about its appearing in a soon-to-be -released new book by Bob Woodward, former ace Post investigative reporter, who reportedly still has some kind of working relationship with the newspaper.

      Woodward also had some kind of working relationship with Trump, who apparently trusted him because of the fame attached to Woodward’s role in breaking the Watergate story in the Nixon years. Ego always drives Trump. So Woodward apparently has had this information on Trump for some time, but chose to hang on to it until he had a deal for the book. Guaranteed big bucks. That suggests that Woodward’s working relationship with the Post is a little fluid, shall we say. Let’s save it for an October Surprise.

     Surprise! Donald Trump is in bed with Vladimir Putin.

     I’m not saying it isn’t news or that it isn’t important news, especially coming at this point in the presidential campaign between Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris. It’s the kind of news that might make even many cowardly Republicans finally rebuke Trump because it could finally convince some unfathomably uncommitted voters that Trump is a legitimate threat to American democracy.

       It doesn’t get more personal than giving rare life-protecting health equipment to a longtime enemy while your own citizens are dying for lack of it. It doesn’t get any more illegal than holding private talks with said enemy when you are no longer president of the United States.

      To wit, from the Cornell Law School: “Any citizen of the United States, wherever he may be, who, without authority of the United States, directly or indirectly commences or carries on any correspondence or intercourse with any foreign government or any officer or agent thereof, with intent to influence the measures or conduct of any foreign government or of any officer or agent thereof, in relation to any disputes or controversies with the United States, or to defeat the measures of the United States, shall be fined … or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.”

      Ever wonder what Trump planned to do with all those classified documents he had stored in his bathroom at Mar-a-Lago? Why he called the Russian invasion of Ukraine “very smart?”

      I have three reactions to all this. One, I’m glad the information all came out a month before election day. Woodward is a trusted journalist and the information ought to convince some people who are somehow still on the fence about the election. Two, I’m disappointed that Woodward held on to this information for who knows how long when he is well aware of the unique importance of this presidential election to America. Three, I am not at all surprised by the information because I have been convinced that Trump has been somehow compromised by Putin ever since their private meeting in Helsinki in 2018.

     I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again, Putin emerged from that meeting looking like he had swallowed, not the canary, but the American eagle, and Trump looked like a teenaged boy who had just been caught doing something best done in private and was going to be blackmailed for it for the rest of his life.

      Just because “The Manchurian Candidate” was a movie doesn’t mean it couldn’t be happening before our very eyes. Especially with an ego-driven, cowardly person like Trump. Putin owns Trump. It’s not just Trump’s admiration for “strong“ leaders, I don’t think. Putin’s got the goods on Trump and Trump has been trying to satisfy his master, by sabotaging NATO and refusing to support Ukraine, among other things. Some might scoff that this is just another wild conspiracy theory. I’ve mocked conspiracy theorists myself. But it’s not a theory when it’s staring us in the face.

       Woodward’s new book is entitled “War.” It’s available on Amazon if you want to send a gift copy to your friendly neighborhood Republican. I’m fine with the excerpts in The New York Times.

By Bob Gaydos

            The trigger card

You’ll have to pardon me here as I try to catch up on the news. Last I knew, the narcissist-in-chief (NIC) had just shown himself to be presidential by reading a speech (which he did not write) from a teleprompter for about an hour straight without veering off message, insulting any minority group or mentioning the size of his, uh, inauguration crowd.

A lot of people who call themselves journalists apparently thought this was evidence of a heretofore well-hidden capability to do presidential things.

With that reassurance that all was well with the republic, I busied myself with other, more pressing personal stuff: Reading; having dinner with my sons; wading through a mountain of unopened mail that had been gathering since I was involved in an accident; deciding whether my partner and I should have Chinese or Mexican takeout for dinner; looking for something to add to my Netflix queue while waiting for Denzel’s 2004 version of “The Manchurian Candidate” to become available; being impressed at how well the Sinatra version from 1962 has held up.

Then it got a little spooky. I heard that after his “presidential” reading, the NIC apparently went off message a few days later. Correct me if I’m wrong, but from what I’ve been able to piece together from all those alternative “news” sites on Facebook, some time late Saturday night, the NIC was wandering around the White House in his bathrobe when the phone rang. His cell phone, not THE phone. A voice on the other end that sounded remarkably like Steve Bannon channeling the NIC’s deceased mother suggested that to occupy his time, since Melania preferred to stay in New York, he should play his favorite game — Solitaire.

“Yes, mother,” the NIC obeyed and hung up.

Having stacked the deck with red queens, the trigger card, the voice called back a minute later and said, “Blame Obama.”

Again, “Yes, mother.”

And that’s apparently how we ended up with one president accusing his predecessor (on Twitter) of wiretapping his home phone. At least that’s the best I can piece together from news reports since no one has offered a scintilla of evidence of such a wiretap and the FBI director (the guy who clinched the election for the NIC) says it never happened. The White House ignored that response and a cadre of lawyers reportedly set out to find  proof of what their master had tweeted.

Now, apparently, all those “journalists” who swooned over the State of the Union reading are what one might call non-plussed for having been suckered again by a performance. “Sir, what  proof do you have of  this dastardly deed by Mr. Obama?” they asked the NIC, who had none, of course. Never does.

No one apparently thought to ask, “Sir, since you’re the president and have the power, why don’t you just declassify the documents that prove you were wiretapped?’’

Well, because: (1.) If there really was an illegal wiretap (the president can’t order one), the guilty parties would have left no records.

(2.) If such records did exist, they would prove that a judge thought there was sufficient reason for the FBI to wiretap the NIC even before he took office and how embarrassing would that be?

But probably mostly (3.), because he didn’t know that the president couldn’t order a wiretap or that a president could declassify any document he chooses. Details are not the NIC’s strong point.

As I take it, you-know-who was so angry that no one — even Sean Spicer struggled to keep a straight face — believed him when he said Obama had his Trump Tower phones tapped — he kicked Bannon and Reince Priebus, his two top aides, off Air Force One when he flew to Florida for his regular weekend of presidential golfing.

Bannon, however, was smart enough, I gather, to pack a few stacked Solitaire decks in the NIC’s bags. Some time over the weekend, as he wandered the halls of Mar-a-Lago in his bathrobe, the phone rang again.

This time, THE phone, not his cell phone.

“How about a game of Solitaire, son?”

“Yes, mother.” Hang up.

Short pause. Red queen.

Ring!

“Hello, mother.”

“Okay, now listen carefully, son. Last time I called you the damn cell phone dropped the call after I said, ‘Blame Obama’ and you made up some cockamamie story about him tapping your phone. What were you thinking? (Bannon’s voice getting a bit hoarse.) Blame Obama for that botched SEALS raid in Yemen, you ninny.”

“Yes, mother.”

And as far as I can tell, that’s how the NIC came to exploit the widow of a Navy SEAL who died in that raid during his State of the Union address, while at the same time blaming his predecessor and his generals for the failure of the mission. How’s that for presidential?

I can’t wait for Denzel’s “Manchurian Candidate” to arrive in the mail. Hope it’s as good as Sinatra’s.

rjgaydos@gmail.com