By Bob Gaydos

Donald Trump at Texas flood site.

Writing about how the nuts and bolts of federal government work, or are supposed to work, is often an exercise in trying to make the boring readable, if not necessarily interesting.

Not this time. This time, with nuts and bolts falling off the MAGA truck at seemingly every turn, I trust the reading will be not only interesting, but likely, infuriating.

Let’s start with the news that Dan Bongino, Deputy FBI director, may be on the verge of quitting in a major rift with Attorney General Pam Bondi over the suddenly disappearing  Epstein files.

Bongino is a conspiracy theorist who built a career as a podcaster in large part by demanding release of sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein’s client list and accusing unnamed government officials of concealing it. This podcast popularity probably played a large part in him getting the job as assistant FBI director since he has no other real qualifications for the job.

Bongino expressed his anger with Bondi loudly in a meeting after a memo was leaked saying the FBI found no client list and also that Epstein did indeed commit suicide in his prison cell. That development came shortly after Bondi publicly said she had the files on her desk and she was waiting to review them.

To his credit here, Bongino is at least sticking to his guns and insisting there’s a list and demanding that the government release the files, whatever and whomever they include. Bondi, a Grade A Trump bootlicker, obviously feels otherwise.

There’s been speculation that FBI Director Kash Patel, whose qualifications for his job are also sketchy, is also unhappy with the way Bondi handled the situation. There have been rumors that both Patel and Bongino may step down. Nuts and bolts falling everywhere.

This is clearly not how government is supposed to operate. It would also be a unique development in a Trump administration. Two high ranking individuals resigning on a seeming matter of moral principle that could possibly implicate Trump.

The other major story, of course, is the flash flood in Texas that has claimed more than 100 lives so far, many of them young girls at a summer camp. Tragic. And even more wheels falling off the MAGA truck.

In addition to the well-reported fact that Trump ordered major cuts in the National Weather Service staff, thereby increasing the likelihood of weakened forecasting abilities, it turns out that National Security Director Kristi Noem, who oversees FEMA, required that requests for more than $100,000 in aid come to her desk, but ignored such requests from Texas for three days. Noem also unbelievably said that the federal government doesn’t handle state emergencies.

In addition, a downsized FEMA staff failed to answer thousands of phone calls from residents of Texas in the aftermath of the deadly flood. And David Richardson, FEMA director, who rarely even talks to staff, never showed up in Texas during or after the tragic flood. Instead, he was at a conference somewhere else where he didn’t even participate. Not a word from the FEMA director. Not even a presence. Nuts and bolts all over the ground.

For his part, Trump showed up in Texas more than a week late and rambled on in some kind of speech about rain. Nuts. He also muttered something about maybe not cutting so much FEMA funding after all. That convenient suggestion of change in policy probably didn’t soothe the pain of residents of Texas, especially parents who lost their young daughters to a raging river. Bolts.

And what the heck, while we’re at it, there’s that lingering nuts and bolts how-does-government-work question about who ordered the cancellation of weapons shipments to Ukraine. Trump, when asked about it at a press conference, said, “I don’t know.”

If that didn’t freeze the blood in every American citizen, I don’t know what will. The man with the power to authorize or reject military action, the man who ordered a bombing of Iran, didn’t know who ordered the cutoff of weapons to Ukraine.

He actually whispered to Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, “Do you know?”

Hegseth said, “No.”

Even scarier. No how-things-work here to even talk about, but I’ll take a stab. For what it’s worth, I have some friends in recovery who tell me they learned that they did some pretty scary things when they were in alcoholic blackouts and today still have no memory of it. Zilch.

Nuts and bolts, anyone?

By Bob Gaydos

A deadly flash flood killed more than 100 people in Texas.

I’m so angry. Angry that the daily insanity of life with Trump makes it difficult to be sad. Just sad. Not frustrated and sad. Not bewildered and sad. Not dumbfounded and sad. Not furious and sad. Just sad.

The overlapping and competing of emotions is a byproduct of having to wake up each day in a “what the hell did he do or say now?” world. Like most of you, I’ve come to expect that, although I hesitate to say I’m used to it.

But that doesn’t matter when I just want to feel the sadness and sorrow for the families of all those young girls who drowned when a raging Guadalupe River swamped their summer camp in Central Texas. My god, what a tragedy. Impossible to imagine.

But at the same time, I also have to deal with the fact that Elon Musk, richest and second weirdest man on the planet, says he wants to start a new political party in the United States, to put pressure on both Republican and Democrats to create his view of society, which could have the beneficial effect of frustrating Trump’s MAGA agenda simply because Musk has so much money and he apparently now hates Trump. And he knows how to rig elections. So, is this good or bad?

Plus, Musk is the one who said Trump’s name was all over the Epstein files, and he likely had a look at them when he was Dogeing. But now, Pam Bondi, a thoroughly horrid human being, says those Epstein files she said she had on her desk to review, in effect, don’t exist. No client list, the attorney general says. And Jeffrey committed suicide. Case closed. And I am beyond angry at this load of BS and coverup for Epstein’s good friend, Donald Trump.

Meanwhile, the death toll in Texas is now more than 100 and they are still looking for more than 160 people, including 12-year-old girls missing from the church camp and you just know many won’t be found alive at this point and I am depressed thinking of them and area residents trapped in their homes.

As the story continued for days, Trump hadn’t said much about the deaths and, when asked if he would go to Texas, he said “maybe Friday.” But while the flood was still raging, he was putting on his greens and eating ice cream.

Yet he had previously had no trouble making a quick visit to fawn over the cruelly named Alligator Alcatraz in Florida. And I am angry again that this concentration camp for immigrants and whomever else ICE snatches off the streets actually sells souvenir merchandise and that it was thrown up in a couple of days in an area crawling with alligators and prone to flooding and that it is all pipes and canvas and wire and could be blown over in a heartbeat as hurricane season comes to Florida.

Which, of course, Trump didn‘t consider or care about when he decimated the workforce of the National Weather Service, which may have contributed to the lack of advance warning in Texas, for which Trump will accept no blame, as usual. Nor will he show any human empathy for the victims and their families. Incapable.

Meanwhile, rescue help pours into Texas, including from Mexico, and money for the rescue and the victims — millions — is pledged by just regular citizens, Trump still hasn’t shown his face or said that he’ll make sure the advance warning system the people of Kenn County asked the state of Texas to pay for but got only chump change will actually be built, even though he has effectively eliminated FEMA.

For me at least, the profound sadness this story deserves gets lost in anger over the lack of preparedness or concern for all affected and all the nonsense previously mentioned above as well as the insulting news that Bibi Netanyahu has written a letter nominating Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize for dropping a dozen bombs on Iran, blowing up a lot of rock and stuff, but likely no uranium and probably guaranteeing that country will now certainly develop a nuclear bomb. And that Bibi will now be Trump’s new best friend since he says he’s disappointed in Putin and, well, you know about Musk.

And yes, there will be, Trump has decreed, a mixed martial arts fight on the White House lawn next Fourth of July to properly celebrate this country’s 250th birthday. Seating for 20,000. No word on ticket prices yet.

I am beyond sad.

By Bob Gaydos

Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton settled their differences.

“May you live in interesting times.”

He keeps saying this, my friend. Over lunch. On the phone. “May you live in interesting times.”

It doesn’t help. Not when the current interpretation of “interesting” vacillates among “chaotic,” “disturbing,” “infuriating,” and “frightening.”

First of all, a lot of us (including me) have been blaming the Chinese for this bit of wisdom generally regarded as a curse. Not so, Google’s artificial intelligence informs me. (Glad it’s good for something useful.)

Direct quote from Google search: “The phrase ‘May you live in interesting times’ is often attributed as a Chinese curse, but it’s actually an English expression of unclear origin. It’s likely the phrase was misattributed as a Chinese saying, possibly by British politician Sir Austen Chamberlain in the 1930s. The phrase itself, ‘live in interesting times,’ can be traced back to the late 19th century in British political circles.”

So that’s that on the quote. The times, alas, are still with us and currently amount to two super-wealthy sociopaths swapping threats and insults with each other via social media in an apparent attempt to control the world.

I don’t really have a favorite in the cat fight between Donald Trump and Elon Musk. I don’t really find it entertaining. I just want them both to lose. That’s the only positive outcome I can see, but I can’t yet imagine how it comes about.

What I can say is that this was inevitable. Two spoiled little rich boys used to getting whatever they want who don’t give a damn about anyone else, totally lacking in impulse control and mostly in the dark about proper social behavior. Plus, they’re racist and bigoted. And liars. And cheats. And millions of Americans admired them and thought it was a wonderful idea to put them in charge of our country and our lives.

Interesting indeed.

What is interesting right now is watching to see if any Republican in Congress takes sides in this fight. Who represents the greatest threat to their continued presence in Congress? After all, that’s pretty much all they care about these days.

I would think Trump does because he’s got the MAGAnuts behind him. Musk has the money to threaten their reelection, but Trump still has the cult of personality going for him and the voters behind it. Elon is definitely damaging the golden boy’s image, but is anyone really surprised that Trump is in the Epstein files?

But is this any way to run a country? Is this any way to make America great again? An old man with declining mental capacities, sitting in the Oval Office and insulting world leaders who come to visit with him. A Nazi-saluting, richest man in the world, who may well have stolen the last presidential election for the man he is currently insinuating raped young girls.

Some choice.

Once upon a time, “gentlemen” settled differences of opinion without involving the rest of the world. Aaron Burr, at the time the vice president of the United States, finally got fed up with the opinions and statements of Alexander Hamilton, some of which were published in newspapers, and challenged his longtime political rival to a duel. Let’s settle this.

Pistols at the Weehawken Dueling Grounds.  Apparently, kind of like the Meadowlands of the day. On July 11, 1804, Hamilton was mortally wounded and died the next day. Burr was charged with murder, but eventually acquitted. He was later also acquitted of treason charges, but his reputation was shattered and his political career was over.

Interesting times.

By Bob Gaydos   

Dr. Jill Biden, a working teacher and soon to be First Lady.

  Where to begin?

     With the sophomoric hit job by someone who obviously considers himself to be a man of letters?

     With the preening joy in gratuitously insulting the future First Lady of the United States by calling her “kiddo”?

     With the utterly unconvincing “argument” offered in defense of his “point”?

     With the clear anti-elitist snobbery of the author?

     With the decision by the Wall Street Journal’s editorial page editor to print the column?

     With the subsequent decision by that editor, Paul Gigot, to defend his decision by insulting those who objected to it?

     With Gigot’s belittling of the criticism — of which there was plenty — by dismissing it as political and “playing the race or gender card”?

     With the obvious problem many conservatives in this country have with intelligent, accomplished women?

     With the problem many conservatives have with higher education in general?

     With The Wall Street Journal perhaps confusing itself with its neighbor and sister Murdoch paper, The New York Post?

     With the egotistical “old fart” attitude of the author who obviously feels he can say whatever he pleases as.long as he drops a name and mentions a fact or two about himself that he thinks will establish him as a modest, if brilliant, regular guy?

       Yes, I’m talking about the opinion piece in The Wall Street Journal encouraging soon-to-be First Lady Jill Biden to drop the “Dr.” in front of her name. The author, Joseph Epstein, wrote: “Madame First Lady—Mrs. Biden—Jill—kiddo: a bit of advice on what may seem like a small but I think is a not unimportant matter. Any chance you might drop the ‘Dr.’ before your name? ‘Dr. Jill Biden’ sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic.” He also called the title of Biden’s dissertation that led to a doctor of education degree from the University of Delaware “unpromising.”

        A real charmer, this Epstein. So let’s start with the old fart, who has apparently made a career of insulting women, gays and anyone who doesn’t subscribe to his narrow, exclusionary, view of the world. I feel qualified to toss the “old fart” label around since, at 79, I am a mere four years younger than Epstein and have been called the same. Takes one to know one.

      His basic argument about the use of the Doctor title by Biden is that today it doesn’t mean anything, unless you’re a medical doctor. He says. He says the honorific has been cheapened by relaxed requirements. He just says these things with only anecdotal comments to support them while also noting “modestly” that he didn’t have what it took to attain a doctorate back in the day. Since Epstein is 83, the day was, well, way back.  

     There’s a lot of “just one of the guys” shtick in the column as he tries to justify the rudeness and crudeness of his approach. (Kind of reminds one of a certain orange-haired president.) For example, Epstein writes: “I taught at Northwestern University for 30 years without a doctorate or any advanced degree. I have only a B.A. in absentia from the University of Chicago—in absentia because I took my final examination on a pool table at Headquarters Company, Fort Hood, Texas, while serving in the peacetime Army in the late 1950s.”

      Swell. Well, I was a reporter and editor on daily newspapers for more than 40 years, including 23 years of writing daily editorials and I have only a B.A. in English, from Adelphi University, which I received six months before reporting in December of 1963 for basic training to Fort Dix, N.J., where I drank 3.2 beer. It was a stint that was delayed by the assassination of John F. Kennedy during the Vietnam War era. So what?

      Epstein again: “I do have an honorary doctorate, though I have to report that the president of the school that awarded it was fired the year after I received it, not, I hope, for allowing my honorary doctorate.” (That doctorate was from, I believe,  none other than my Adelphi University, which fired Peter Diamandopoulos in 1997 for conflicts of interest and lavish. lifestyle.) Epstein then goes on at length to ridicule the excesses of schools awarding honorary doctorates, which is a valid point, but has nothing to do with Dr. Biden’s doctorate, which was more than honorable. 

       Epstein also “casually” drops the name of his “friend,” the late Sol Linowitz, as an example of someone who had a huge collection of honorary doctorates, dismissing the possibility that perhaps Linowitz, a man of many accomplishments, deserved all the honors. I can’t match that super friend connection, but, like Epstein, apropos of nothing, I once shook hands with Jackie Robinson and Jesse Jackson (different times and places) and they had major impacts on society, too. Maybe even honorary doctorates.

       Just a brief research on Epstein (Wikipedia) revealed that he was eventually fired from his job as editor of The American Scholar, the magazine for Phi Beta Kappas, for his unrelenting anti-feminist views and refusal to allow any counter arguments to the arch-conservative writers he welcomed to his editorial page. He once called feminist scholars “dykes on bikes.” He was editor of the magazine for 21 years and, if anything, one might wonder how such smart people put up with him for so long. 

        Epstein also wrote a piece in 1970 for Harpers Magazine in which he called homosexuality “a curse, in a literal sense.” If he could, he said, “I would wish homosexuality off the face of the earth.”

        So this is the expert Gigot chose to attack Jill Biden in The Wall Street Journal, maybe feeling the Fox News loudmouths we’re getting too much love from the uber-conservative audience. But then Gigot, criticized mercilessly on social media, inexplicably feels he must defend his decision to publish Epstein’s hit job and to use Epstein’s favorite weapon — claiming “identity politics” — in dismissing comments from the Biden campaign critical of the piece. Gigot: “My guess is that the Biden team concluded it was a chance to use the big gun of identity politics to send a message to critics as it prepares to take power. There’s nothing like playing the race or gender card to stifle criticism.”

        Nonsense. First of all, if Gigot thought Epstein made a legitimate point and decided to run the column, then he should simply have stood by his decision. Period. That’s why he’s the editor. The column may have been insulting, but it wasn’t libelous. (I have a little experience in this regard. Once upon a time, Rupert Murdoch also owned the paper for which I worked. He left us pretty much alone because we made money. As editor of the editorial page, I was called a left-wing, pinko more times than I can remember, but people still managed to find their way to the opinion section.)

        Of course, Gigot also had the option to simply say, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I had a brain freeze. The guy is a jerk. I’ll try not to do that again.“

        But he didn’t. Instead, he chose to go along with the currently popular Republican position that higher education is something to be mocked and accomplished people, including a future First Lady, are to be subjects of ridicule. How he feels this plays to the resumes and prejudices of readers of The Wall Street Journal is beyond me. 

       In the fallout from the article, Northwestern University and its English Department have apparently condemned Mr. non-PhD Epstein and the university removed him from its page of emeritus professors. Gigot called called it an example of “cancel culture,” another phrase conservatives like to throw around these days. But since Epstein doesn’t think much of titles, he shouldn’t mind.

        Of Biden, Epstein wrote, “A wise man once said that no one should call himself “Dr.” unless he has delivered a child. Think about it, Dr. Jill, and forthwith drop the doc.”

        Well, Joe, another wise man (an uncharacteristically unhumble me) once said, “There’s nothing so unappealing and unconvincing as a whiny, old, misogynistic homophobe full of regret that he didn’t achieve a distinction that he might have and envious of a classy woman who did.” Think about it, kiddo, and drop the act.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.