By Bob Gaydos

Image from Storybench, Northeastern University School of Journalism

  That was fast. A while back, I wrote a column about how AI was coming to take my job and the jobs of maybe millions of other people lovingly referred to as “knowledge workers” by the CEOs of the companies who are rushing to make it happen.

     Well, it happened, in of all places, Wyoming.

      A reporter, new to the trade and no longer with the paper, admitted to using artificial intelligence to create quotes, even whole stories, for the Cody Enterprise, a newspaper founded by Buffalo Bill Cody, who needed no genius computer to create his legendary story.

      The phony reporter was busted by a veteran reporter for a competing newspaper, the Powell Tribune, who said he started asking around when he noted some of the phrases in the other guy’s stories seemed to be a bit off, or robotic. Bad writing.

       No surprise there. YouTube is replete with documentaries and special reports full of inappropriate or outdated or trite, slightly off phrasing narrated by “people” who mispronounce basic words. 

       At such times, I can be heard complaining agitatedly, “AI!”

       Also, preaching: “Everybody needs an editor.”

       It’s my favorite response and basic rule for any writer. But the YouTube videos go on, their producers seemingly unaware or unconcerned with the amateurish product they’re presenting. Artificial mediocrity suffices, probably because it draws an audience and it’s cheaper than employing the real thing. People.

         Which brings me back to Wyoming. Things were different in Wyoming. The governor and other people were saying they never said what the newspaper said they said, although they admitted it sounded like something they might have said.

          Classic AI. Scan the past and take a plausible shot at recreating it in the present. Chatbots always aim to please.

          But unlike YouTube shows, newspapers can get into trouble making stuff up, with or without AI. The publisher of The Enterprise said AI is “the new, advanced form of plagiarism and in the field of media and writing, plagiarism is something every media outlet has had to correct at some point or another.”

           She said the paper now has a policy in place to recognize AI-generated stories. That’s good. With no official controls on this new, still-developing technology, all news media should have a policy on the proper and improper use of artificial intelligence and make it known to the public as well as their staff.

           The editor of the Enterprise, Chris Bacon, said, “The Enterprise didn’t have an AI policy because it seemed obvious that journalists shouldn’t use it to write stories.”

          Yeah, one would think, right? But these are different times. Times of stolen user names, online dating scams, spam emails. Progress. While the recognized practice in journalism always has been not to steal other people’s writing and not to make stuff up, some have tried and some have been caught. Newspapers have been sued. But AI apparently makes it harder to spot, especially for less-experienced eyes.

        The AP says Bacon is “a military veteran and former air ambulance pilot who was named editor in May after a few months working as a reporter.” Swift promotion. 

        He said he “failed to catch” the AI copy and false quotes and apologized that “AI was allowed to put words that were never spoken” into stories in his newspaper. At least seven stories, seven people falsely quoted.

      I don’t know. Apparently one AI-generated story about a shooting in Yellowstone National Park included this sentence: “This incident serves as a stark reminder of the unpredictable nature of human behavior, even in the most serene settings.”

       In nearly half a century working in newspapers, I can’t recall a more unlikely sentence in a news story to have been allowed to pass unquestioned by a copy editor. No way Moe or Dennis or Linda or Tim lets me get away with that hackneyed life lesson without at least a, “Hey, Bob …” 

       Maybe my basic rule for writers needs to be modified: Everybody needs a really fussy human editor. 

rjgaydos@gmail.com

By Bob Gaydos 

Kamala Harris, accepting the nomination as Democratic Party presidential candidate.

   Well, that was unconventional. At least for Democrats.

     From Lil Jon to Oprah to Bill and Hillary and Barack and Michelle to the Gen Z’s and Old Joe, the Democrats (and a few sane Republicans) had a grand old time in Chicago reminding the rest of the country what it means to be a proud American and the threat Donald Trump and the Republican Party pose to that idea.

      America needed the wake up call.

      Four nights of joy and optimism culminated in the nomination of Vice President Kamala Harris as the Democratic Party’s nominee to run for president of the United States. Historic and hopeful.

       It is fair to say that there has been a profound mood swing in America in the short time since Joe Biden said he was once too young to be a senator and is now apparently too old to be president, handing the reins of power to a black/South Asian/American woman with apparently just the right attitude and resume to dispose of an aging, self-absorbed felon whose only interest in America is how to fleece it.

       Hope and joy are contagious. They can spread quickly, especially when there is a concerted effort to share them. Democrats, working together and setting aside differences for the moment, have decided to share the wealth. The moment is that important.

       Harris, adapting quickly to the role of party standard bearer, delivered a powerful acceptance speech, reminding Americans that Trump is an “unserious man” who represents a serious threat to the freedoms they cherish and typically take for granted. But this is not the time for taking things for granted. This is the time for action, she and speaker after speaker at the convention reminded Americans. It’s time to work together, setting differences aside for now, to protect and preserve democracy.

     For Democrats, very unconventional. For all Americans, very much needed.

                            ***

     Meanwhile, in the world of lies and delusion, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. abandoned his third-party candidacy for president, endorsing Trump as a man who shares Kennedy’s views on America’s future. Birds of a feather.

      Kennedy, hoping that his endorsement will result in a role in a Trump presidency, said the Harris campaign never returned his calls. Another plus for them.

    However, Kennedy’s siblings sent him a message. They issued a public statement dismissing everything he stands for and calling his endorsement of Trump “a betrayal of the values that our father and our family hold most dear.”

      The Kennedy endorsement wasn’t expected to do much for Trump vote wise either.

        All in all, a good week for America.

    rjgaydos@gmail.com      

By Bob Gaydos

Rapper Lil Jon juices, the Democratic national convention.

 Chicago (cue music)

     “Mr. Chairman! The great state of Euphoria, where men are proud fathers and women are allowed to come out of the kitchen and be corporate executives, where we teach real history in our schools and don’t ban books, where the concept of equal rights is embraced, where LGBTQ spells freedom, where no one is above the law, where the air is clean and we like it that way … the state of rock and roll and hip hop and anything Willie Nelson does, where there are no white, brown or black jobs, where veterans are respected and democracy cherished, the state of presidents and patriots, poets and perfect sunsets … Euphoria, where the right to vote and the right to choose are sacred, where we love our country and honor our commitments, the state full of hope for the future of America, proudly casts all 47 of its votes for the next president of the United States, the first black/Asian woman president of the United States, the tough, young, smart prosecutor who we think once went to school here or at least we wish she had, the current Vice President of the United States … KAMALA HARRIS!”

 Milwaukee

     “Mr. Chairman, the state of Submission, where real men carry guns and all women carry babies, where we protect our children from pornographic literature and communist ideas, where people know their place and the only votes that count are the ones we say count, the state that knows best what is best for its citizens, casts its however many votes you say we have for the overweight, old sex offender with the orange hair and big wad of tape on his ear who was just convicted of 34 felonies, is accused of attempting a coup, is buddies with Vladimir Putin and wants to protect America from sharks, social security and windmills … the man who once bankrupted a casino and said Covid would pass quickly, the great leader of our party … the former… umm, Trump.”

rjgaydos@gmail.com

By Bob Gaydos

Donald Trump and J. D. Vance … the Republican presidential ticket.

    “Not all Republicans are …”

     I noticed that tantalizing phrase in a comment on a recent Facebook post on my feed. I stopped right there. Didn’t fill in the blank. Rather, I scrolled on and let myself imagine what had so troubled this Republican about the post that he or she felt the need to rise to the defense of at least some Republicans.

     Not all Republicans are what? (1) racist? (2) spineless? (3) stupid? (4) misogynists (5) sheep? (6) bigots? (7) liars? (8) hypocrites. … fill in your own blank.

      I didn’t bother to read the whole comment because I’ve been reading excuses and writing about the surrender of the Republican Party to Donald Trump for more than eight years now. It’s the same old story, only worse. Party leaders and rank-and-file Republicans handed Trump the reins to the party and followed him to what they apparently thought would be fame and fortune, or at least power. Trump and some rich supporters got the fame and fortune. Trump and a lot of Republican politicians also got the power. America, including a lot of Trump supporters, got the shaft.

    Now, with Trump promising an authoritarian regime of retribution as detailed in the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 if he is elected to a second term as president, Democrats and other concerned Americans are calling him and Republicans out as a threat to democracy.

     And yes, to me that means all Republicans who support Trump or refuse to speak out against him publicly.

     The MAGA crowd with their red hats and bandaged ears don’t much care about being tagged with one of those labels I mentioned above. They’re all in on Trump and at this point it appears nothing he can say or do can change their minds. That includes being labeled, say, racist because they accept Trump’s blatant racism as displayed once again in an “interview” with female black journalists. He actually ran out before it was over.

     Trump is what he is. If you accept it, either vocally or with silence, then so are you. Enough is enough. Eight years of enough.

       And for those elected Republican officials who slide silently through life hoping that no one asks them how they can support a convicted felon, adjudicated sex offender, congenital liar, racist, misogynist, intellectually challenged fraud for president, yes, you are him, too. You enable him, you legitimize him, you are him until you say otherwise.

     Speaking of labels, Democrats have recently taken to calling the Trump/Vance team and their Republican supporters “weird” for some of their statements. I guess it’s a more socially acceptable way of summarizing all those labels I mentioned.

      Also recently, the Republican mayor of Mesa, Arizona wrote an opinion piece for a newspaper saying Trump was all those things I said above. The mayor said he’s voting for Kamala Harris. Even put his name on it. John Giles. Took guts.

       So, I guess not all Republicans are weird.

        It’s a start.

rjgaydos@gmail.com      

By Bob Gaydos

Vice President Kamala Harris waves as she is introduced during the Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.’s Grand Boulé,in Indianapolis.

    Much as the politicians and those whose job it is to write about them think there is nothing else worth writing and reading about in the world, they’re wrong. But they can dominate the news coverage through sheer persistence and repetition, as witness the recent non-stop “reporting” on how Joe Biden was slipping mentally as well as physically and was too old to serve another term as president and needed to step aside as a presidential candidate for someone — anyone — younger.

     Donald Trump, nearly as old, clearly slipping and never close to Biden in terms of intellect and knowledge of how stuff actually works (never mind moral compass) pretty much got a pass through all this because the media had already decided what the storyline was.

     Well, Biden flipped the story on them when they were napping on a Sunday afternoon. He apparently caught Republicans napping, too, because all they had been talking about for weeks and had highlighted at their crowning of Trump at their nominating convention was beating “Old Joe.”

     No mo. Joe’s out, Kamala’s in it to win it and much of the media is now busy trying to come up with a storyline on why the vice president just can’t beat Trump.

      Hotshot political writer talking to a colleague working at a desk close by: “Harris? Really? I mean she’s too … well, she’s not … well, you know, she doesn’t … and isn’t she too … well, yes, as you say, Democrats are acting weird and rallying behind her. Like, all of them, even the lefties. Wow! How’d they do that? And they seem excited. And she’s getting lots of positive social media reaction outside of the MAGA sites. And she’s raising a ton of money already. A lot! Of course, she is smarter and much younger than Trump. Then there’s the abortion issue that Trump bragged about … but Republicans are now trying to hide that. And there’s the women’s vote, the black vote, the black women’s vote, the young people’s vote. Heck, the Asian-American vote. … You know, despite what our polls say, Trump might actually have a problem beating her because, well, you know how he talks about women and Harris won’t put up with it. After all, she’s a former prosecutor and he’s a convicted felon and a sexual offender and she’s sent a lot of them to prison. She also went after phony, for-profit colleges, like the one Trump ran. And, really, he did take all those documents. And he does lie constantly and isn’t too bright and rambles a lot. Plus, she keeps talking about preserving democracy the way Biden did and a lot of people like that and Trump has called us “fake news” in the past. A lot. Remember? And now Republicans are whining that Biden tricked them? No fair! That he should be forced to run because he said he was? Are they kidding? How would that work? Or that he should now step down as president? But he never said he couldn’t do the job and no one else did, just that he’s too old for four more years. Which you could also say about Trump, right? You ever see him walking down a ramp? Scary. And Trump’s been talking about sharks and electric boats and abandoning NATO and Ukraine and having the Justice Department go after his “enemies,” which doesn’t sound good. And that J.D. Vance he picked to run as his vice president? He once called Trump “America’s Hitler”! Now he’s acting like Trump’s new Rudy Giuliani. He’s changed his name three times. Forget George Santos. Is there a bigger phony around? Maybe we should recheck Vance’s “hillbilly” story. …

     “I mean, Biden has done a good job and he’s a proud man with a long record of service who has suffered a lot of personal loss in his life and it takes a lot of humility, especially because people think you’re too old, to step aside, to pass the torch to ‘a younger generation,’ as he said. To finish the job. To preserve democracy, as he also said. After all, Harris can run on his record because it’s their record, right? And it’s a good one. Economy? Foreign policy? All good. He even worked out a bill — bipartisan — to address the Mexican border issue, but Republicans killed it because Trump told them to. He didn’t want Biden to have it as a campaign issue. How cheesy, right? And Trump’s got nothing real to offer but revenge. That and tax breaks for rich people. I mean, did Mexico ever build that wall? Did we ever see his ear? And he’s already attacking Harris personally. Calling her crazy. Mispronouncing her name. Petty. … So, whaddya think? At this point, it looks like Republicans are really stuck with Trump, right? I mean, he’s got all his MAGAs, but that’s not enough to get elected without cheating and the guy is really old and showing signs of slipping, isn’t he? I mean, he never really was all there, anyway, right? And Old Joe really set Kamala up great, like overnight, didn’t he? Slick. She’s got a lot of positive energy going. Money rolling in. And she is the VP.  Hmmm … Hey, thanks for listening … 

          “Hey, boss! I think I’ve got a new angle on a storyline for Kamala. …”

rjgaydos@gmail.com

By Bob Gaydos

      Thanks, Joe. … 

President Joe Biden withdrew from the 2024 presidential race.

   That’s all I could muster at first. The news alert — “Biden dropping out of presidential race” — had popped onto my I-Phone screen about five minutes earlier and I reacted with surprise and I wasn’t sure what else.

       So I drank some tea, popped a couple of vitamins and went outside to watch our three resident hummingbirds try to keep an aggressive woodpecker away from their feeders. Their subsistence. Their future. Through persistence, remarkable athleticism and teamwork, they succeeded. The woodpecker left for easier pickins.

      And I had a moment of clarity.

      It seems I have a pattern. When confronted with a dramatic historic moment, rather than yielding to the ingrained journalistic instinct and rushing to write about it, I take a break to reconnect with, I suppose, real life.

      On Sept. 11, 2001, after watching on TV as a second plane flew into the World Trade Center, I got into my car, turned on the radio and drove to a park close to the newspaper where I worked. As editorial page editor, I knew I would have to write about the attack. The park was familiar to me because I used to walk my dog there before going to work in the morning. I had since moved and there was no dog, but I relaxed as I enjoyed the quiet and watched other people walking their dogs, drank my coffee and listened to reports of a plane striking the Pentagon.

     Then I went to work and wrote an editorial stating that the U.S. was at war.

      Nineteen years later, on Jan. 6, 2020, after watching on TV for two hours as a mob egged on by a president who refused to accept the fact he had lost an election laid waste to the U.S. Capitol, I finally turned off the TV, looked at the new dog and said, “Let’s go for a walk.” We took a quiet stroll around the pond in the back and, though it was cold, it reminded me of the beauty in my life.

     Then I went back in and wrote a column about the fear and anger and shame I felt at this attempted coup and about how the calming words of President-elect Joe Biden helped me to feel there was still hope. He faced a “monumental task,” I wrote, to overcome the disastrous Trump presidency and return America to its place of dignity and stability as the world’s symbol of democracy.

     Which in large part, in a remarkably successful presidency, he did. But the rot in the Republican Party, a gold-plated chamber pot of fear, racism, ignorance, greed, corruption, cowardice, hypocrisy, bigotry, opportunism, threats, lies and lust for power fueled by religious extremism, has not yet been eradicated.

       And President Joe Biden has been told by many of his formerly closest allies in the Democratic Party and much of the mainstream media that he is too old to finish the job.

       I don’t know. He’s 81 and showing signs of mental and physical fatigue. But he knows how to do the job and understands right from wrong. Trump, meanwhile, is 78, a physical, moral and mental wreck and doesn’t really care about the job, just the title and the perks. But Republicans apparently love him and too many Americans still don’t understand the threat he and his enablers pose to that American democracy.

        So as I watched the hummingbirds Sunday afternoon, I thought about what an act of selflessness it was for Biden, who clearly believes he can still do the job, to agree to step aside for someone younger, because, well because it’s the right thing to do. The patriotic thing to do. The politically smart thing to do. At least that’s what he had been constantly told for a month since his poor performance in the debate with Trump (whose litany of lies and accusations was largely ignored).

          Now, Joe Biden, with a lifetime of service to country, has thought of country first and done his job again. He has stood aside for someone younger — most likely Vice President Kamala Harris — who can bring the fight to Trump (now the only old man in the race) and the Republicans and, more importantly, convince a lot of Democrats and other Americans to unite behind her to drive away the threat to America’s future. To their future. Just like the hummingbirds did.

      Thanks, Joe … for everything.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

If you flatten it, you replace it. That oughta be the rule of the road.

If you knock it down, you replace it ought to be the rule.

(I published this article a couple of years ago and I have since realized that it’s probably a piece that will bear repeating because (1) there are (hopefully) new readers and new neighbors who will not have seen it and (2) I keep noticing things to add to it.)

***

By Bob Gaydos

For most of my life, I’ve lived in small cities (Bayonne, Binghamton, Annapolis, Middletown) and one large town (Wallkill), which is really a mall-dotted highway surrounded by housing complexes. Throw in a few years living on college campuses. Basically, it’s been city or community living.

When you live with a lot of other people close by and you want to be relatively content, you learn the rules of the road, the do’s and don’ts of getting along. Mostly, it’s mind your own business and don’t make a lot of noise.

A few years ago, I moved to the country, a bit of upstate New York between the Hudson River and the Catskills that is often protected from major weather issues by the imposing Shawangunk Ridge.

Country living means owls, woodpeckers, coyotes and starry skies, oh my.

It’s nice. Well, usually. It’s quiet. Usually. In any case, it most definitely has its own rules of the road. Things a transplanted city boy ought to know. Something I call country etiquette.

The notion (see how I used the word “notion“ instead of “idea“?) that there was such a thing as country etiquette grew out of a recent conversation about a not uncommon country experience.

A couple of years ago, our quiet summer evening at home was disrupted by a loud squealing of tires and a loud thud. Right in front of our house.

We rushed out to find a car sitting in a culvert in front of our house, a distraught young woman sitting behind the wheel and our mailbox on the ground, post and all. I don’t recall who called 911, but state police arrived quickly, talked with the driver (who was shaken but not hurt), someone called a tow truck, we went back in the house and eventually everything was back to normal, except for the mailbox. Its career was over.

In short order, we replaced the mailbox and occasionally wondered what happened to the young driver. I suspected alcohol may have been involved.

A couple of weeks later, the whole scene repeated itself. Nighttime. Squeal. Thud. Car. Culvert. Young woman driver. Unhurt. Mailbox kaput.

Deja vu all over again, as Yogi Berra once said. Same follow up. Police. Tow truck. Mailbox flattened.

Again, we replaced it and the new one has survived ever since. But here’s the thing. Neither driver offered to pay to replace the mailbox (they both got out of their cars and talked to us) or to have it repaired. Now, it seems to me that a basic rule of country etiquette ought to be that if you wipe out someone’s mailbox (and get caught at it), the decent thing to do is to make it right again. Pay for a new one.

And that’s what got me thinking about other rules of country etiquette. What are some things to help someone new get along with neighbors who may not live right next door? Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

— Having a handy supply of eggs is nice, but keep your chickens in your own yard as much as possible. Free range doesn’t mean the whole neighborhood, or, especially, the busy road.

— Don’t shovel your driveway snow into the road. It’s only extra work for the highway crews and it’s dangerous.

— When driving, wave at people walking along country roads. It’s neighborly.

— Walkers, please wear reflective clothing at night. It’s awfully dark out there sometimes and the roads are often winding and have no shoulder. We’d like to get to know you.

— Don’t let your dog walk on the road side. Preferably, don’t walk your dog on the road at all. Some drivers are less attentive than others. (See reference to mailboxes above.) And yes, clean up.

— Slow down for people at their mailbox. (A personal peeve of mine.) You can even wave.

— In fact, slow down in general. Posted speed limits are not merely suggestions.

— In special fact (and this is a new one added from personal experience), if you see someone backing out of their driveway or road to get on the typical two-lane road in the country and you are a good quarter mile away, slow the heck down. Let them get out in peace in one piece. It’s hard enough to back into a narrow country road with trees often blocking your vision without worrying whether that driver whizzing down the road is texting or talking on the phone or so totally engrossed in something on the radio that they don’t see you, even though you see them.

— In further fact, if you’re not going to back up a lot of traffic, just be nice and let people back out of their driveways even if they haven’t gotten their rear end out yet.

— Be patient with a farm tractor on the road. He’ll be out of your way shortly, or he’ll pull over as soon as he can. He’s working.

— Be honest at roadside honor stands. Act like there are cameras in the trees.

— Free stuff at the foot of a driveway is really free. If you want it, take it. Someone always does.

That’s what I came up with so far. If you have other suggestions, please leave them in the comment section.

While I’m at it, I figure I might as well add another feature of country living — a potpourri of handmade road signs. Here are a few I noticed:

— Corn maze, hay ride, pumpkins, pickles, sweet corn

— Beef sale

— Fresh garlic

— Sunflower patch, mums, hay for sale

— Farm fresh eggs

— U pick pumpkins

— Fresh key lime pie

— Baby Fox

— We buy ATVs dead or alive

Like I said, nice.

‘Til next time at pet-friendly Tractor Supply.

By Bob Gaydos

The Biden team.

Sometimes the nay-sayers unintentionally help the aye-sayers.

     For example, with all the media hype on whether Joe Biden should seek re-election and questions about whether he is too old and is still capable of handling the responsibilities of the presidency, one of the strongest arguments in his favor has been his record of accomplishments in office. It  is considerable.

      He brought inflation down and employment way up. He lowered prescription drug prices and capped the cost of insulin for seniors. He got wealthy corporations to pay their fair share of taxes and got legislation through Congress to combat gun violence. He actually made a major investment in rebuilding the nation’s infrastructure, something which his opponent talked about a lot but never did anything about. He revived the American chip industry. He added a new nation to NATO and solidified America’s alliances in the Pacific Rim. Oh yeah, the leading stock market indicators are at record highs.

     To which some nay-sayers reply: How do you know? There could be a cabinet of people running things on his behalf.

       Well, I sure hope so. The sign of a good leader, a good executive, a good president is having people around him capable of making his or her vision a reality.

    No president can do it alone. Whom he chooses to be part of his team and what the team accomplishes says a lot about the president. So by trying to take credit away from Biden by saying maybe a whole bunch of other people accomplished these things in his name, the critics are actually complimenting Biden for his vision, for choosing good people and for listening to what they have to say and helping them get it done.

      By comparison, many team members from Donald Trump‘s chaotic presidency have criticized him for his lack of understanding or caring about presidential responsibilities. Others are in prison. Possible members of a Trump team in 2025 have authored the notorious Project 2025, which explains in detail how they would dissemble American democracy in favor of an authoritarian Christian nation.

    Predictably, since details of that document have been made public and been widely criticized, Trump, whose name appears throughout the document, has disavowed it. That’s because Trump, a convicted felon, has no agenda other than himself and power. If it’s going to hurt his ratings, he tries to run away from it. He bragged about getting Roe v. Wade overturned by appointing Supreme Court justices who would do it. But when that decision met strong opposition, he tried to backtrack from that, too. He simply lies about everything and fires people who don’t help feed his ego.

     Suffice to say, any team of folks behind the scenes doing things in Trump’s name are going to do their best to make him happy. And he’s already told us many times that what makes him happy is being treated special (absolute immunity!) and getting even with those who don’t comply. The team wagging the dog for Trump will be ruthless and vicious because he will pick those who will do his bidding in order to further their own agenda. Not the nicest and not necessarily the best and brightest. He learned that from his first term in office. He knows more than all the generals. Sycophants and soldiers, that’s what he wants.

     So, nay-sayers, do I want all those mysterious, intelligent, caring people behind the scenes making all those decisions for old, arthritic Joe Biden or do I want all those “authoritarian, anti-democratic, rightwing Christian, post the 10 Commandments in every classroom, women’s place is in the kitchen and pregnant, cut Social Security, arrest the homeless and leave billionaires alone, don’t force us to be violent” people making decisions for Donald Trump while he goes around the world like a reality show Don Quixote, jousting at windmills?

      Thanks, I’ll stick with Joe’s team.    

rjgaydos@gmail.com

By Bob Gaydos

Almost ripe gooseberries. RJ Photography

  Change is inevitable, they say, so the best course is to try to learn from it. For example, moving from an urban environment, which I lived in for most of my life, to a rural one required learning some new skills.

     Some are more important than others. Pruning and harvesting gooseberry bushes without getting cut up by thorns is one of the more esoteric ones.

     I’m learning.

    “How’d you get those scratches on your arms?”

     “It’s gooseberry season.”

     “Huh?”

     “Thorns.”

     That was a recent conversation. With temperatures in the high 90’s, I went after the spreading bushes while wearing a T-shirt. Good thing the berries are juicy.

        But not just that. They also have history. I’d never heard of gooseberries before becoming countrified and I imagine a few of you haven’t either. That’s because they were banned in America for decades.

      Early in the 20th century, federal and state governments banned the growing of currants and gooseberries to stop the spread of white pine blister rust. Basically, the fungus was killing white pine trees, which were vital to the construction industry in the country.

     It seems the blister rust fungus completes its life cycle only when gooseberries or currants and pine trees are living in close proximity to each other. Rather than cut down all the pine trees to save the gooseberry bushes, the decision was made to stop growing gooseberries to save the pine trees. Hard to argue with that.

      Yet here we are with seven very healthy gooseberry bushes waiting to be harvested. What happened? Are they illegal? Not anymore.

       Science saved the gooseberries as well as the pine trees. By mid-century, cross-breeding programs had been developed using remaining pine trees to develop varieties resistant to the rust. That meant gooseberries could be living safely in the neighborhood with the pine trees.

    The federal ban was lifted in 1966, although some states still have restrictions on cultivating or shipping gooseberries.

      But not ours. 

     In 2003, New York state passed a law to allow commercial growers and home gardeners to legally grow red currants, gooseberries and immune or resistant cultivars of black currants throughout the state. We’re legal.

     For the record, according to info I gleaned from the Cornell Cooperative Extension, the berries I’ll soon be picking are the “Pixwell” variety developed in North Dakota in 1932. They are “easy to propagate, commonly sold three-foot bushes with small thorns … that bear medium-sized fruit that starts out green and turns purple upon ripening.”

       Right. Funny how they kind of just glided through that “small thorns” item.

                           ***

(Note: “The word ‘gooseberry’ comes from the old German name for the berries, Kräuselbeere, which means ‘curled or crimped berries.’ This name became grossularia in Medieval Latin, then groseille in French, and finally ‘gooseberry’ in English. The ‘r’ may have been dropped at some point during the transition.” 

— This is from Google AI. You’re on your own regarding its accuracy.)

By Bob Gaydos
Note to readers:

Yeah, I know about the debate and how Joe squinted his eyes, could barely walk and had plenty to brag about, but had trouble putting words together. And how the other guy lied every time he opened his mouth, as usual. And how everybody now wants Joe to quit, even though they like him, because he’s old and we can’t make the other old guy, a convicted felon and rapist, go away.

So I’m going to write about gooseberries very soon. Will probably eat some. I may have some sushi. I will then return to worrying about the future of the free world.

Enjoy your day.
Bob

rjgaydos@gmail.com