BOB GAYDOS

THE REPORT … bad loans, Beyond burgers, UFOs, takeout

      So the cardinal count at our bird feeders has doubled. We now have two males. I take that as good news, believing there have to be two families close by that these dads are rushing back-and-forth to feed. By the way, there is no social distancing at the feeders.

     — Also by the way … Super stock analyst, TV star, Philadelphia Eagles fan and world-class speed talker Jim Cramer raised an important point on his CNBC show when he said, “I just want to know who made the bad loans.” The loans he was referring to came from the Paycheck Protection Program, part of the $2.2 trillion rescue plan passed by Congress to help small businesses affected by the coronavirus pandemic. Anyone casually familiar with social media the past few days is aware that many of these loans went to large corporations which were never intended to receive the money. Smaller businesses were shut out. In fact, the fund ran out of its original $349 billion cache after just a few days. When Shake Shack, the Los Angeles Lakers and other well-heeled companies were embarrassed by the publicity surrounding their getting the loans, many said they would return the money. But others said they would keep it.

       Two problems here. One, why did these large corporations even apply for the loans in the first place? Two, as Cramer wondered, who gave them the loans? “I think that banks were complicit. I think banks gave loans to very good customers, maybe because they needed to keep them afloat,” Cramer said. He said Americans are “sick” of this kind of behavior from banks and he’s absolutely right. Penalize the companies, who must have supplied phony info to even apply for the loans, and the banks, who surely knew. Make the names of those banks who approved the loans public, as Cramer suggested. Congress should investigate.

      — By the way … we finally found Beyond Meat burgers at the supermarket and created our version of a drive thru treat at home. Delicious. Of course, now, having already decided the Impossible Whopper is also delicious, some serious taste-testing is in order in the plant-based food wars. Any personal reviews out there?

     — By the way … speaking of out there, did you notice that little UFO item the Pentagon slipped out in the midst of the pandemic, maybe figuring no one was paying attention? It declassified videos

The Navy released this video of UFOs this week.

showing swiftly moving UFOs with the soundtrack of naval pilots expressing, well, awe. The videos were actually made public a couple of years ago by a private group, but the Pentagon had no official comment on them at the time. Recently, the Navy announced a formal policy on reporting UFOs. Apparently, the brass decided to believe their pilots were actually seeing something that they could not identify or explain. The Pentagon had a classified program to study numerous reports of such phenomena from 2007 to 2012, but abandoned it for what it said were more pressing priorities. The former head of that program resigned in protest in 2017 over the secrecy surrounding it. Retired former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, of Nevada, who pushed for the original program, tweeted that release of the videos now “only scratches the surface of research and materials available. The U.S. needs to take a serious, scientific look at this and any potential national security implications.” Or we can let the new Space Force handle it.

      — By the way … folks in my neighborhood have been familiar with the UFO phenomenon for a long time. In fact, Pine Bush, N.Y., has an annual parade/festival to celebrate its designation as the UFO capital of the Northeast. Nice event.  Unfortunately, it’s postponed this year until fall. Of course, some folks may think we’re a bit out of it, but It’s hard for me to discount the idea that there’s something out there and it’s intelligent, because it’s smart enough to stay away from us right now. Make a hard left at Earth, captain, and get out of the neighborhood fast.

       — Finally … scenes from a pandemic: Sitting in the parking lot waiting for our Chinese takeout. Customers preceding us waiting at the door, socially distanced, all wearing some variation of masks. When they leave, a silver hearse pulls up, white skull painted in the rear window and a spooky ghost in one of the side windows. Normal-looking lady wearing a mask gets out the driver side, goes in, picks up her takeout and drives away expeditiously. GrubHub? DoorDash? Thinking I’m definitely in a Coen brothers movie. By the way … I had shrimp lo mein.

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

THE REPORT … disposables, China, Vlad and the planet’s rebellion

     So it’s been an interesting couple of days learning how to wash my hands properly (and often), how to avoid close contact with people in the supermarket, remembering not to touch anything, including my face, and mastering the art of properly removing disposable gloves from my hands. Inside out. Snap!

    — By the.way … while on the topic of disposable gloves, I don’t think simply dropping them next to your car in the supermarket parking lot is the optimum way of disposing of them. They’re like weeds out there, people. There are trash cans outside the store doors. Use them. If there aren’t any, tell the manager there should be. But be polite. Lots of stress inside there.

    — By the way … there’s a theory making its way on YouTube that the coronavirus is simply the planet, or maybe the Larger Consciousness System, setting things in balance again. A reset button. Physicist/author Tom Campbell notes the skies over China and Europe being remarkably free of pollution since the pandemic and the canals in Venice now flow with clear water filled with fish. Since we’re all connected and our species seems to be OK with casually tossing possibly contaminated gloves on the ground, this theory isn’t far-fetched.

  —  By the way… apparently Vladimir Putin is not immune to the effects of the virus, at least politically. After first announcing that his orchestrated vote to rewrite the Russian constitution to allow him to serve as president for 16 more years would be held April 22, despite the pandemic, he bowed to reality and postponed the vote. Also, Moscow’s mayor had said numbers provided by the government on how many people were infected were too low. What a surprise.

     — By the way … where have all the cardinals gone? Our bird feeders, usually resplendent with red visitors, are disappointingly bland so far. An occasional cardinal sprinkled in with the grey and black. Anyone got any ideas?

     — By the way … sometimes things just happen. Like a vegetarian food day not by design. Flax and raisin bran cereal, with banana, for breakfast, grab on the go (not far) veggie burger (mostly brown rice and carrots) for lunch, cauliflower pretzels (who knew?) for a snack (tasty but on the salty side) and individual cauliflower crust pizzas for dinner (not bad). Feeling full and boastfully healthy.

      — By the way … with the rest of the world focused on the coronavirus that was born within its borders, the People’s Republic of China, apparently having come through the worst of its crisis, announced the opening of two deep-sea research stations in the South China Sea. The sea is hotly disputed territory because of vital shipping lanes and energy reserves. The U.S. Navy regularly sails through the sea, claiming free navigation lanes. But China likes to claim all of it and the various scientific facilities of the Chinese Academy Sciences, as well as other civilian sounding installations, are part of its campaign to control the sea. It also has established a variety of airstrips, missile shelters and harbors to strengthen its military presence. So, virus, notwithstanding, China’s still got its eyes on this target. An appreciative nod, by the way, for this news tip to a former colleague at The Times Herald-Record in Middletown, N.Y., Pete Kutschera, who still tracks such things. Thanks, cap. Or is it colonel?

    — Finally, by the way … remember that social media is supposed to be an interactive process.  Readers are much appreciated and “likes” are very nice. Non-sarcastic comments as well. But this is about sharing. So spread the news and if you’ve got an idea for a story (non-Trump) you think deserves attention, please feel free. My email is below. We’re all in this together. 

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Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.

rjgaydos@gmail.com