By Bob Gaydos

Catching up with the good, the bad and the ugly a la Jimmy Cannon.

— Maybe it’s just me, but: It was about time the Supreme Court got one right and boy was it a big one. The unsigned ruling rejecting Trump‘s effort to stifle mail-in voting in the November midterm elections is a major victory for Democrats, the Constitution and common sense. Justice Alito’s long-winded dissent, an attempt to justify the unconstitutional effort by Trump to usurp control of voting from the states, was cosigned by Justice Thomas. Figures. They’ve reaped the most financial benefit from Trump being in the White House. But it also means that the three justices Trump appointed agreed with the ruling, making it a 7 to 2 defeat for Trump and victory for America. Justice Kavanaugh even signed a concurrence. Trump railed, “These aren’t the people I interviewed.“ Yes they are, but they’re also aware that a lifetime appointment allows them to sometimes vote their conscience instead of their political allegiance. With no positive issue to point at, making it difficult for people to vote was Republicans’ best weapon for November.

— Maybe it’s just me, but: You gotta love the Irish. Trump took two huge planeloads of staff, etc. and more aircraft to haul vehicles for his 26-car motorcade to go watch a golf tournament at his golf club in Ireland. It cost hundreds of millions. Bad decision. The entire country told him to buzz off because they’re not fond of pedophiles. The Prime Minister told him she wasn’t fond of so-called leaders that start unnecessary wars that create a world oil crisis while also killing innocent people. She also refused to sit too close to him. If he were a drinking man, he might’ve wanted to try some Guinness.

— Maybe it’s just me, but: With all the progress that Musk et al have made with robots and self-driving vehicles, how can we be sure that it was actually Mitch McConnell wheeling around the U.S. Capitol the other day? He might still be dead. That could be an AI robot sent to vote if needed by Republicans. Democrats should try to hack him.

— Maybe it’s just me, but: Bestiality? Kash Patel is messing around with bestiality? He’s changing FBI job qualifications so that, according to him, victims of bestiality would be eligible to apply for a job as an FBI agent. That’s what he said at a Senate hearing. I wonder, does he mean sheep or goats or donkeys or I don’t know, what other animals might be the usual “victims“ of bestiality? And what job might they perform as FBI agents? Patel incredibly said the people who participate in bestiality are actually the victims. Yeah, the senators couldn’t believe it either. The man is a constant embarrassment and insult to the bureau. Trump appointing him is no surprise. He’s a not-so-bright boot-licker happy to do the boss’s bidding, including investigating reporters and political opponents. The real sin is that Republican senators approved the appointment of this feckless YouTube podcaster and continue to support his ineptitude and extravagant spending (with our money) on his girlfriend. Pathetic.

THE REPORT … mowers, mail, movies and moving Michael Cohen

April 20, 2020

Bob Gaydos

    So the lawn guy showed up unannounced and unsummoned today to a great deal of running about, barking and general enthusiasm. The dogs were excited, too. Went out to greet him at appropriate social distance. “You mowing?” I asked. “We’re essential!” He answered. “Heard last week. That Cuomo’s a tough cookie.” Yes, he is. Thankful for that. By the way, the grass is now neat and manageable for walking about and tending to business. The dogs are excited about that as well. Grateful to have a lawn guy.

  —  By the way … Michael Cohen, we hardly knew ya and now you’re about to leave us? The onetime lawyer/fixer for Hewhosenameshallnotbespokenhere has been residing at a minimum security federal prison camp in Otisville, about a 10-minute drive down the road from us. But if Cohen comes through a two-week quarantine in a medium security penitentiary next door, he’ll be going home to finish out his three-year sentence. He can thank COVID-19. Since social distancing is a major challenge in prison, some federal inmates are being switched to home confinement. Also, Orange County, where Otisville is located, had 211 confirmed virus-related deaths at this posting. My first reaction to the Cohen news was that somebody cut him a break. But then I remembered he cut a deal with the feds to get a lighter sentence on campaign fraud and lying to the FBI about hush money paid for Hewho… so Hewho wouldn’t likely make a call for Cohen. Looks like the system just did its job. Go figure.

   — By the way … We’re doing our part to burnish the reputation of Netflix and Amazon Prime during this period of isolation. Recent viewing includes “The Danish Girl, “The Coldest Game” and “The Ladies in Lavender.” Each is a little quirky, but time-passable with some good performances. Any suggestions, please feel free in the comment section.

    — By the way … If the post office is worried about losing $2 billion a

Forget the rain, snow, etc., the Post Office needs cash.

month because of the pandemic and Republicans in Congress won’t bail it out, why doesn’t Jeff Bezos just sign a month-to-month contract with the USPS to make up the difference? He could do it out of his pocket change and not even touch his Amazon stock. It would actually be a patriotic thing to do.

  —  By the way … a report just issued by the Republican-led Senate Intelligence Committee confirmed that the 2017 assessment by U.S. intelligence agencies that Russia covertly meddled in the 2016 presidential election, with the ultimate goal of helping Hewhoshallnotbenamed win, was accurate. Big surprise only in that Republicans admitted it.

   —  And finally, by the way … if there was any doubt left of the utter lack of basic decency in today’s GOP, I give you Dan Patrick, lieutenant governor of the great state of Texas, which is starting to reopen its economy despite warnings from medical experts that it’s too soon and spreading the virus could result in deaths. Says Patrick: “There are more important things than living and that’s saving this country.” No plan. No leadership. No concern or compassion. Nothing. Texas is no country for old men or women.

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.

rjgaydos@gmail.com