By Bob Gaydos

What you see and hear is what you get.

  Kamala Harris is in excellent health and able to handle the stresses of the presidency.

    Donald Trump is not.

    How do I know? For one, I have eyes and ears. For two, I have a medical report from a licensed doctor. One report. From Harris’s doctor. Trump, although he said he would, has typically refused to provide one.

    Harris, who turns 60 on October 20, is also in full possession of her mental faculties. She talks in complete sentences, answers questions, basically walks and talks and behaves like a mature, intelligent woman in the prime of her life. Again, eyes and ears.

    Trump, 78, is old, but not good old. Not wise and thoughtful old. Not even curmudgeonly. He rambles, confuses people’s names, doesn’t answer questions, makes absurd statements about sharks and windmills and water faucets, insults and threatens people and calls Harris “retarded.“ Nasty, increasingly out of touch old.

    Harris released a detailed medical report from her physician last week. Instead of receiving it as a normal facet of a presidential campaign, some news media tried to portray it as her campaign trying to “take advantage” of Trump’s age.

         Excuse me? Are we living in the same universe? Are these the same people who until recently were reporting daily on Joe Biden‘s age-related “issues” to the point he withdrew from his presidential campaign in favor of his vice president?

        In the first place, politics is all about taking advantage of your opponent’s weaknesses. And Trump has plenty of them.

         In the second place, Biden was still, and is still, functioning as president in what appears to be a capable manner. That’s because he is smart, understands through experience how government works and cares about people. Trump is none of that. Never has been. Again, eyes and ears.

         Trump said in August he would “very gladly” release his medical records. Like his tax returns, they remain a secret from the American people he wants to vote for him for president. Trust him.

         Instead, his campaign chairman released a brief statement from Trump’s personal physician saying his patient was in “excellent” overall health. No details.

          The chairman also released two statements from Ronny Jackson, Trump’s former White House physician (remember the basic cognitive test Trump bragged about passing?) who treated Trump after he was shot at a rally in Pennsylvania and stayed with his campaign for a while. 

          Jackson, who was an admiral when he worked at the White House and still refers to himself as an admiral, is now a retired captain. The Navy busted him for unbecoming behavior, including excessive drinking, making passes at female employees and bullying staff. Also, taking Ambien, a sleep-aid drug, while on duty at the White House. This was all apparently sufficient reason for voters in Texas to elect him to a seat in Congress, with Trump’s backing.

          There’s also some question about Jackson’s medical license. His license in the state of Virginia expired in 2020. Jackson is still certified by the American Board of Emergency Medicine, which allows him to provide emergency medical services only. His license in Florida is listed as “Military Active,” meaning he is only able to administer medical treatment at military facilities. Not Mar-a-Lago.

     So, one candidate, 59, has issued a thorough medical report from her doctor, giving her a clean bill of health to handle the job of president. She also walks and talks like one in public.

     The other, much older, candidate has issued a brief statement from a busted former Navy doctor with a drinking problem. He says the old guy is good to go.

      The 78-year-old (overweight) candidate spent a half hour at his most recent rally ignoring questions and just standing on stage swaying woodenly to music while occasionally throwing out an insult at some group of non-white people. Then he shuffled off.

         Eyes and ears, people. Take advantage.

By Bob Gaydos   

Dr. Jill Biden, a working teacher and soon to be First Lady.

  Where to begin?

     With the sophomoric hit job by someone who obviously considers himself to be a man of letters?

     With the preening joy in gratuitously insulting the future First Lady of the United States by calling her “kiddo”?

     With the utterly unconvincing “argument” offered in defense of his “point”?

     With the clear anti-elitist snobbery of the author?

     With the decision by the Wall Street Journal’s editorial page editor to print the column?

     With the subsequent decision by that editor, Paul Gigot, to defend his decision by insulting those who objected to it?

     With Gigot’s belittling of the criticism — of which there was plenty — by dismissing it as political and “playing the race or gender card”?

     With the obvious problem many conservatives in this country have with intelligent, accomplished women?

     With the problem many conservatives have with higher education in general?

     With The Wall Street Journal perhaps confusing itself with its neighbor and sister Murdoch paper, The New York Post?

     With the egotistical “old fart” attitude of the author who obviously feels he can say whatever he pleases as.long as he drops a name and mentions a fact or two about himself that he thinks will establish him as a modest, if brilliant, regular guy?

       Yes, I’m talking about the opinion piece in The Wall Street Journal encouraging soon-to-be First Lady Jill Biden to drop the “Dr.” in front of her name. The author, Joseph Epstein, wrote: “Madame First Lady—Mrs. Biden—Jill—kiddo: a bit of advice on what may seem like a small but I think is a not unimportant matter. Any chance you might drop the ‘Dr.’ before your name? ‘Dr. Jill Biden’ sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic.” He also called the title of Biden’s dissertation that led to a doctor of education degree from the University of Delaware “unpromising.”

        A real charmer, this Epstein. So let’s start with the old fart, who has apparently made a career of insulting women, gays and anyone who doesn’t subscribe to his narrow, exclusionary, view of the world. I feel qualified to toss the “old fart” label around since, at 79, I am a mere four years younger than Epstein and have been called the same. Takes one to know one.

      His basic argument about the use of the Doctor title by Biden is that today it doesn’t mean anything, unless you’re a medical doctor. He says. He says the honorific has been cheapened by relaxed requirements. He just says these things with only anecdotal comments to support them while also noting “modestly” that he didn’t have what it took to attain a doctorate back in the day. Since Epstein is 83, the day was, well, way back.  

     There’s a lot of “just one of the guys” shtick in the column as he tries to justify the rudeness and crudeness of his approach. (Kind of reminds one of a certain orange-haired president.) For example, Epstein writes: “I taught at Northwestern University for 30 years without a doctorate or any advanced degree. I have only a B.A. in absentia from the University of Chicago—in absentia because I took my final examination on a pool table at Headquarters Company, Fort Hood, Texas, while serving in the peacetime Army in the late 1950s.”

      Swell. Well, I was a reporter and editor on daily newspapers for more than 40 years, including 23 years of writing daily editorials and I have only a B.A. in English, from Adelphi University, which I received six months before reporting in December of 1963 for basic training to Fort Dix, N.J., where I drank 3.2 beer. It was a stint that was delayed by the assassination of John F. Kennedy during the Vietnam War era. So what?

      Epstein again: “I do have an honorary doctorate, though I have to report that the president of the school that awarded it was fired the year after I received it, not, I hope, for allowing my honorary doctorate.” (That doctorate was from, I believe,  none other than my Adelphi University, which fired Peter Diamandopoulos in 1997 for conflicts of interest and lavish. lifestyle.) Epstein then goes on at length to ridicule the excesses of schools awarding honorary doctorates, which is a valid point, but has nothing to do with Dr. Biden’s doctorate, which was more than honorable. 

       Epstein also “casually” drops the name of his “friend,” the late Sol Linowitz, as an example of someone who had a huge collection of honorary doctorates, dismissing the possibility that perhaps Linowitz, a man of many accomplishments, deserved all the honors. I can’t match that super friend connection, but, like Epstein, apropos of nothing, I once shook hands with Jackie Robinson and Jesse Jackson (different times and places) and they had major impacts on society, too. Maybe even honorary doctorates.

       Just a brief research on Epstein (Wikipedia) revealed that he was eventually fired from his job as editor of The American Scholar, the magazine for Phi Beta Kappas, for his unrelenting anti-feminist views and refusal to allow any counter arguments to the arch-conservative writers he welcomed to his editorial page. He once called feminist scholars “dykes on bikes.” He was editor of the magazine for 21 years and, if anything, one might wonder how such smart people put up with him for so long. 

        Epstein also wrote a piece in 1970 for Harpers Magazine in which he called homosexuality “a curse, in a literal sense.” If he could, he said, “I would wish homosexuality off the face of the earth.”

        So this is the expert Gigot chose to attack Jill Biden in The Wall Street Journal, maybe feeling the Fox News loudmouths we’re getting too much love from the uber-conservative audience. But then Gigot, criticized mercilessly on social media, inexplicably feels he must defend his decision to publish Epstein’s hit job and to use Epstein’s favorite weapon — claiming “identity politics” — in dismissing comments from the Biden campaign critical of the piece. Gigot: “My guess is that the Biden team concluded it was a chance to use the big gun of identity politics to send a message to critics as it prepares to take power. There’s nothing like playing the race or gender card to stifle criticism.”

        Nonsense. First of all, if Gigot thought Epstein made a legitimate point and decided to run the column, then he should simply have stood by his decision. Period. That’s why he’s the editor. The column may have been insulting, but it wasn’t libelous. (I have a little experience in this regard. Once upon a time, Rupert Murdoch also owned the paper for which I worked. He left us pretty much alone because we made money. As editor of the editorial page, I was called a left-wing, pinko more times than I can remember, but people still managed to find their way to the opinion section.)

        Of course, Gigot also had the option to simply say, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I had a brain freeze. The guy is a jerk. I’ll try not to do that again.“

        But he didn’t. Instead, he chose to go along with the currently popular Republican position that higher education is something to be mocked and accomplished people, including a future First Lady, are to be subjects of ridicule. How he feels this plays to the resumes and prejudices of readers of The Wall Street Journal is beyond me. 

       In the fallout from the article, Northwestern University and its English Department have apparently condemned Mr. non-PhD Epstein and the university removed him from its page of emeritus professors. Gigot called called it an example of “cancel culture,” another phrase conservatives like to throw around these days. But since Epstein doesn’t think much of titles, he shouldn’t mind.

        Of Biden, Epstein wrote, “A wise man once said that no one should call himself “Dr.” unless he has delivered a child. Think about it, Dr. Jill, and forthwith drop the doc.”

        Well, Joe, another wise man (an uncharacteristically unhumble me) once said, “There’s nothing so unappealing and unconvincing as a whiny, old, misogynistic homophobe full of regret that he didn’t achieve a distinction that he might have and envious of a classy woman who did.” Think about it, kiddo, and drop the act.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.