By Bob Gaydos

Katie Zacharia … legally fired

     Lawyer, schmoyer, taxidermist? Who cares? The point is, in this administration you can never have too many blondes.

      Unfortunately, this particular blonde apparently had no idea and no training on how to do her actual job. Which was not to provide legal advice, but rather, to spew Trump propaganda.

      Katie Zacharia was, briefly, the new White House press secretary. Young, attractive and blonde, like her predecessors, Karoline Leavitt, Kellyann Conway and Kayleigh McEnany. Zacharia was fired, literally as I started to write this column about there being no such thing as a quota on how many attractive blonde females can be hired to represent Donald Trump, legally or attorneyily, if there is such a word.

       Zacharia’s five days on the job were spent mostly explaining how she was a lawyer, really, but not really. That is, she graduated from Pepperdine with a degree in law, but never passed a bar exam anywhere (including China), but she said someone had told her that she could still call herself a lawyer, but not an attorney, even though she couldn’t legally do any lawyer stuff, like draw up wills or represent someone in court. Which attorneys do. Lawyers, too.

      Apparently, no one thought that this lawyer thing would be a handicap to her representing Trump to the news media every day. After all, she could still lie legally. Probably everyone in the White House thought she was a lawyer, because she said so. If only she hadn’t said so to the press. They still actually check up on stuff people say. 

     But, after manhandling a mere three questions at her first press conference, she quickly ended it. Zacharia’s remaining tenure, to stretch the meaning of the word, was consumed by debating whether or not she was really a lawyer. As if it really mattered in her new (now former) job, which was to present propaganda. Blondly and blandly.

     My suspicion is that someone in the White House had a hunch, looking at the long run Karoline Leavitt, attractive, young, blonde, KoolAid drinking follower of Trump, had as press secretary before getting pregnant and leaving to tend to her baby, how she had followed two other attractive blonde, etc. whose first names by some weird coincidence also start with a “K,” and how attached at the hip Trump is to his executive aide, Natalie Harp, attractive, young, blonde, KoolAid drinking follower, etc., that another young, blonde, etc. wouldn’t be a bad idea. And Trump had already had an attractive, blonde, not quite as young, actual lawyer/attorney supplicant representing him in Pam Bondi, the now fired attorney general.

    So there probably wouldn’t have been any problem with Zacharia for Trump. She checked all the important blonde boxes. If only the whole silly lawyer/attorney thing hadn’t come up and if only the media hadn’t focused on that for some reason rather than about her being obviously in over her head as press secretary, blonde, lovely and loyal notwithstanding.

    And honestly, Zacharia might still have her job if much of the lawyer-no lawyer obsessed media also hadn’t sidestepped the real news of that day: That Trump had just switched sides for the U.S. in the war between Russia and Ukraine by announcing a deal to buy diesel fuel from Russia, thereby helping its struggling economy and war effort and by saying that Ukrainians should get a new president because Zelensky keeps attacking Russian data centers, which send out all those phony comments on social media sites supporting Trump. 

    I’d have liked to hear Zacharia try to explain that diplomatic (impeachable?) stab in the back positively to the press. Maybe Trump did her a favor by suggesting she rethink taking the job. 

    Of course, there’s always Fox News. You can apparently never have too many blondes there as well.