By Bob Gaydos

           Glenn Kirschner, one of the legion of former Justice Department lawyers enjoying a side gig as media experts explaining the legal ins and outs and many perils facing Donald Trump in several cases in several jurisdictions around the country, recently said that actions by federal prosecutors suggest they may think one of Trump’s many lawyers might have been in Cahoots* with the ex-president on matters regarding the many missing classified government documents.

     To all of which I say, where the heck is Cahoots? And were they hiding documents there, too?

     I first encountered the Cahoots Conundrum a dozen years ago when stories spread about members of Pakistan’s military and intelligence agencies being in Cahoots with Al-Qaeda on hiding Osama bin Laden.

     “It is disingenuous for anyone to blame Pakistan or state institutions of Pakistan, including the ISI and the armed forces, for being in Cahoots with Al Qaeda,” said Yousuf Raza Gilani, then prime minister of Pakistan.

       There were questions at the time about how the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, the most-sought fugitive in the world, could have been living comfortably with his family in a walled compound within walking distance of Pakistan’s version of West Point. Somehow, Cahoots was involved. Maybe that’s where the deal was made to hide Bin Laden.

    My research at the time supported that possibility, with Cahoots being mentioned in questionable dealings in Mexico involving the Catholic Church, the police, and drug cartels. Also in Afghanistan, involving the Afghan military and the Taliban. It seemed to be an ideal place to go to make shady deals because no one apparently knew where Cahoots was. Still don’t, apparently.

    The current Cahoots conundrum mentioned by Kirschner involves one M. Evan Corcoran, Trump and classified documents. Corcoran, a lawyer, wrote a statement for Trump stating that he was in possession of no more classified documents. This followed an FBI raid on his Mar-a-Lago home that uncovered hundreds of such items.

    Trump had another lawyer sign the statement written by Corcoran and give it to the FBI. No more documents. Case closed. But the National Archives disagreed. They suggested the FBI look again. Of course, Trump being Trump, a subsequent search uncovered dozens more documents.

      So Trump and or his lawyer(s) lied to the FBI. Did Corcoran know there were more documents? Did the other lawyer? Did Trump? Was Trump in Cahoots with one or both of them cooking something up?

        Corcoran is claiming attorney-client privilege to avoid testifying before a grand jury investigating Trump’s documents stash. The other lawyer has testified to the grand jury. Prosecutors have reportedly asked a federal judge to deny the attorney-client privilege claim because they believe Corcoran’s legal services were used in furtherance of a crime. That nullifies attorney-client privilege.

     So many questions:

# Did Corcoran know there were more documents when he wrote the statement?

# Did Trump lie to him?

# Did the other lawyer know about the documents?

# Will Trump ever be indicted? On anything?

# Was Robert Mueller ever in Cahoots with Trump?

# Is Nikki Haley seriously running for president?

# Is she in Cahoots plotting with Trump to be his Vice President?

# How does Rudy Giuliani, who in the past has been suspected of being in Cahoots with Trump and others, feel about his political and legal careers now being in Limbo*?

# Does anyone know where Limbo or Cahoots is?

    It just seems to me that we ought to know more about a place where the likes of Donald Trump, Mexican drug cartels and Osama bin Laden have reportedly hung out. Also, I like Glenn Kirschner.

                                  ***

PS: Asterisks on Cahoots and Limbo are mine.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

Bob Gaydos is writer/in-residence at zestoforange.com.

By Bob Gaydos

With a tip of the hat to the late, great Jimmy Cannon. …

— Maybe it’s just me, but: I’m happy to report that, after an exhaustive search of my file cabinets, mini-safe, closets, boxes that never got unpacked from the last move, junk drawer and basement, I have no classified government documents in my possession. I think.

I’d say I was 100% certain, but recent news stories suggest that such documents are turning up where people least expected them to be. Like in the homes and offices of former vice presidents, including one who is now president. I did my own search after the National Archives asked all living former presidents except Jimmy Carter to check their home files. Even though I never worked for the federal government, I just wanted to be sure because, you know, I’m a patriot. Plus I wanted to make sure no one planted any of those sneaky little documents only because I used to work for newspapers. Can’t be too safe these days.

Having said all that, I’m willing to chalk up the recent discovery of a few classified documents in the home offices of Joe Biden and Mike Pence to sloppy packing up by staff when both men left office. Nothing nefarious going on, especially since lawyers for both men apparently reported the presence of the documents as soon as they were found. No one even knew they were missing.

That’s completely different from the Trump document story. Not only did he deny having any documents at his Mar-a-Lago golf course/home, he ignored requests from the National Archives to return them, ignored a subpoena, accused the FBI of planting classified documents, had his lawyers sign papers saying there weren’t any more documents left on the premises after the FBI raid (there were), and even asked to have them returned. He also claimed to have “declassified” them. Plus, he had boxes upon boxes full of hundreds of sensitive documents at a golf resort frequented by foreign nationals, not a quiet, private office.

So, no, cry and try as Republicans might to make the Trump document story equivalent to Biden’s, it won’t fly.

Obviously, the National Archives, which must be at least slightly embarrassed by all these reappearing “missing documents” they didn’t know about, needs to review its record-keeping practices, and the whole matter of what gets “classified” should also be reviewed. By the way, Carter got a pass because the law about not taking these documents home took effect after he left office. But I’m guessing he probably had a couple gathering dust in Plains, Ga., too.

— Maybe it’s just me, but: Despite all the jokes being made, I find the George Santos story sad on several levels. Sad that an individual (Santos) could be so mentally and emotionally messed up that lying is as natural to him as breathing. Sad that the state of politics in America today is such that someone like Santos could be elected to Congress. Sad that House Speaker Keven McCarthy is so devoid of moral principles and courage that he won’t demand that Santos resign. On the other hand, I am encouraged that Republicans in Nassau County on Long Island, where Santos was elected, are angry and embarrassed and are not only urging him to resign, but actually investigating some of his lies. A glimmer of hope for a party mired in cynicism.

— Maybe it’s just me, but: Philadelphia versus Kansas City is a legitimate championship game for the National Football League, even though KC got a break on that last call on the push out of bounds and Philly got a big break when the Forty-Niners lost their starting quarterback right at the start. Two legit survivors for the crown.

— Maybe it’s just me, but: When a six-year-old brings a gun to school and shoots a teacher, it’s not only school staff that has some explaining to do on how it happened, but really, where were the parents in all this? A six-year-old, apparently an angry one, goes off to school with a handgun in addition to his homework? Some serious explaining and accountability is due.

—  Maybe it’s just me, but: Ran across this brief item wandering through YouTube: “Cardi B says, ‘Don’t do butt shots.’” Umm, I’m a child of the ‘50s. Do I really need to know who Cardi B is? And what in the TikTok world is a “butt shot”?

rjgaydos@gmail.com

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.

By Bob Gaydos

    An arabesque is an arabesque wherever you may be. A grand jeté is a grand jeté in Tokyo or “Paree”.

    Came across a YouTube channel the other day in which a Russian ballerina and a Japanese ballerina were discussing their chosen craft. They knew enough of each other’s language to be understood, but what really made the conversation possible and meaningful to both is that when either of them said, for example, “sur la pointe” or “battu,” the other knew exactly what she meant.

     Ballet terms are in French everywhere. Period. C’est entendu. 

     Thus has it been since King Louis XIV adopted the dance style that originated in 15th Century Italy for his own court.

     The king, an avid dancer, created many of the terms and steps that exist to this day. He took the ballet out of the court and introduced it to the public, plié by plié, creating a professional dance company. And, while styles may differ somewhat, the language of the ballet persists, from Moscow to London to New York to Rome to Tokyo to Paris and to every pirouette in every ballet class in the world. Everyone understands it.

      Brilliant. Simple. No confusion.

      If only the same could be said for some other forms of communication. Compare the universal language of ballet to, say, the confusing verbiage surrounding a sizable stash of apparently sensitive, even classified and top secret government documents that Donald Trump apparently took home with him, along with newspaper clippings, notes, magazines and other stuff when he moved from the White House to a golf resort in Florida. Threw it all in cardboard boxes for, well, he never said what for.

        Trump apparently regarded the documents as “mine.”

        The people at the National Archives, which stores and protects government documents for the American people, consider them “ours.”

         When Trump finally agreed, after many months, to return documents, his lawyer apparently said there were “none” left in Florida. The National Archives folks and the FBI disagreed. They said there were “some” documents left. In fact, “a lot.” They wanted them “all.”

          Another lawyer suggested that Trump had “declassified” the documents, as presidents can do. The National Archives replied that saying so doesn’t make it so. 

         Trump said the FBI conducted an “unwarranted” raid on his Mar a Lago home, treating him like some common thief, rather than a twice-impeached former president. A judge said the raid was, in fact, warranted. In fact, he signed the warrant, saying there was “probable cause” to believe that classified or other sensitive documents were still stored at Mar a Lago and, furthermore, that there was “probable cause” to believe that evidence of “obstruction” would be found there.

          At some point, Trump suggested the FBI planted documents, yet insisted he wanted them back. He even said the FBI should release the affidavit for the search, suggesting, one presumes, it would show no justification. What the FBI released said it had reason to believe Trump was keeping “national defense information,” a violation of the Espionage Act.

           Espionage, by the way, is French for spying, another word that everyone understands. 

rjgaydos@gmail.com

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.