By Bob Gaydos

Took a break from the daily grind recently to visit the make-believe world of Gilbert and Sullivan in a thoroughly entertaining production of The Mikado presented by the Delaware Valley Opera. They were all there and in fine voice: KoKo, the Lord High Executioner, with an aversion to, among other things, executions; Poo-bah, the malleable Lord High Everything Else; Yum-Yum, the lovely desired one; handsome Nanki-Poo, the root of all the trouble, and, of course, The Mikado of Japan..

The comic opera, a satire on 18th century British government set for no good reason in Japan, adapted easily to modern day institutions and situations. It played to an enthusiastic full house of other music lovers also apparently seeking to escape the daily grind. Everyone left apparently satisfied, including the winner of the drawing for the fifty-fifty, and we exited the music hall to gaze upon beautiful Lake Huntington.

It was all make believe, but it was also reality. Two wonderful hours worth. But now we were back in reality, which was, it soon reminded us, totally make believe.

Yes, we’re living in a land of make-believe. Mitch McConnell’s staff is making believe the senator is alive and, if not well, certainly recovering from whatever mysterious ailment has caused him to be absent from the Senate for more than a month. Republicans in the Senate are making believe they believe that story.

Andy Beshear is making believe he’s Kentucky’s governor by yammering about McConnell’s absence and refusal of his staff to make the senator available in person to at least prove he’s not brain dead, if not totally dead. Beshear is making believe he doesn’t have an entire National Guard — never mind various laws — at his disposal to either force McConnell to come out of hiding or rise from the dead or to kick down the senator’s front door to see whatever is going on behind it because the people of Kentucky are entitled to two living working senators. And the governor is entitled to appoint a temporary replacement for McConnell and set a special election for the post, even though Fox News personalities and some Republicans in Congress have told make-believe stories that they had 10-minute conversations with the AWOL McConnell.

Then there’s the secretary of health making believe Americans aren’t suffering from measles and diarrhea in frightening numbers. There’s the drunken “war” secretary making believe America is winning a war that he and his Mikado started but can’t figure out how to get out of as they make up lower American casualty numbers. And, of course, there’s the daily make believe, fed by make-believe journalists, that the American Mikado, who goes by the name of Trump, is actually capable of anything at this point (when he can stay awake) other than belittling women, insulting our allies, thinking of new ways to scam true believers out of their money and finding new Poo-Bahs to try to keep him out of jail.

It’s all make believe, but without the booming baritones and soaring sopranos. No lively chorus either and no funny Lord High Executioner. No lovely lake. Sorry, no fifty-fifty.

It’s funny how make-believe can sometimes seem so real.

***

Note: The Delaware Valley Opera is a not-for-profit (they love what they do) professional local organization located in Sullivan County in upstate New York. It draws its members and performers locally and from the New York Metropolitan area. I am in no way qualified as a music or theater critic, however, I would like to give special recognition in the recent production to Andrew Wannigmann as Pooh-Bah, Margaux Frohlich as Yum-Yum and Nicholas Wuehrmann, as a hilarious Ko-Ko, Lord High Executioner.  And a special nod to the one-man orchestra, Martin Yadzik, pianist and music director. Again, it was all wonderful and all for real.

Bob Gaydos

THE REPORT … emus, swans, secrecy and third parties

A couple of new neighbors.
RJ photography

  I’m a city boy. Bayonne, Binghamton, Annapolis, Middletown. Not big cities, but places where most stuff you need was in walking distance, there were downtowns, buses (in varying degrees), lots of kids, stickball, cats, dogs, and people you might nod and wave to. No emus.

      Today, I’m a country boy. Pine Bush. Burlingham actually. Slightly upstate New York (about 75 miles from the city), but definitely not urban or even suburban. It’s nice, except for the stuff you need not being in walking distance. The pandemic has made even that less of a nuisance since we’ve discovered that you can order anything online to be delivered to your door. It eliminates the human connection, but society has been working on that for some time now.

       Back to the emus. One of the pleasures of country living is the abundance of non-human neighbors. In the past I’ve commented on eagles, coyotes, owls, woodpeckers and the variety of visitors to our bird feeders (still just two cardinals). But that’s chicken feed compared to the menagerie we’ve seen on just one local road over the past few months.

       In the four-and-a-half miles under discussion, we have seen: Two stunning black swans, two emus, flocks of chickens, one beautiful white swan, one peacock (please get off the road)  a pig, two score of horses, herds of cows, four white, domesticated geese, Canada geese galore, a llama, several sheep (please stay off the road!), a blue heron, grazing herds of deer, a bull and one outspoken burro. A recent addition — a mare and her foal. Most of these are permanent residents we look forward to seeing regularly. Toto, we’re not in Bayonne anymore. By the way, I’ll give a shout out here to any reader who can identify this road.

       Hint: It’s in Orange County.

      — By the way … speaking of shouting out. Mitch McConnell is probably wishing he’d kept his mouth shut last week. The Senate majority leader first said that Barack Obama “should’ve kept his mouth shut” instead of criticizing the Dotard’s handling of the COVID-19 pandemic. “Classless,” McConnell suggested. He got mocked all over Twitter and Facebook for this absurd comment, given the lack of class demonstrated by the person he was defending. Then, McConnell had to eat crow by admitting that, contrary to what he and Dotard were saying, the Obama administration had indeed left a detailed playbook on how to handle future pandemics. Dotard got rid of it. That’s what happens when lying becomes so automatic you do it as naturally as breathing. McConnell is a disgrace.

       — By the way … Kentucky, the state represented by Republicans McConnell and the foolish Rand Paul, both of whom have objected to further stimulus funds for people who have lost their jobs because of COVID-19, is one of the states most economically impacted by the pandemic. This from the Lexington Herald-Leader: “Figures released Thursday show that another 103,548 Kentuckians filed for unemployment last week, bringing the total number of initial claims since the beginning of the novel coronavirus outbreak in mid-March to nearly 500,000, or 24 percent of the state’s total civilian workforce. Two analyses from financial technology companies show Kentucky is one of the most-impacted states when measuring the number of claims as a percentage of the workforce, and when measuring the percentage increase in unemployment claims from the start of the COVID-19 crisis.” But hey, Kentuckians, keep electing these yohos because, you know, they’re poking fingers in the eyes of The Man.  And you’re about to lose your old Kentucky home. 

        — By the way … A lot of state and local governments have used the pandemic as an excuse to make it difficult or impossible to get access to public records. Many are routinely denying Freedom of Information requests. Of course, at the same time, these governments are making major decisions and spending billions fighting COVID-19. Not a time when government secrecy should be encouraged. David Snyder, executive director of the First Amendment Coalition, a California-based nonprofit fighting this trend, says, “It’s just essential that the press and the public be able to dig in and see records that relate to how the government has responded to the crisis. That’s the only way really to avoid waste, fraud, abuse and to ensure that governments aren’t overstepping their bounds.” Or to find out if they even have a clue as to what they’re doing.

        — By the way … Rep. Justin Amash, an independent Michigan congressman who had the guts and good sense to quit the Republican Party, has again come to his senses and given up his foolhardy and potentially damaging bid to run for president as a Libertarian. (You didn’t know?) Amash blamed COVID-19 (it’s become a handy multi-purpose excuse) for making it so difficult to campaign. Call it a mercy killing. He didn’t mention that maybe he had no shot at winning and the effort would mostly be an exercise in ego and spreading routinely rejected Libertarian views. He was running because of his dislike for Drumpf, which is commendable, but his candidacy would also have gotten votes from Republicans and others who don’t like Drumpf, but can’t find themselves voting for Joe Biden or another Democrat. Shades of Ralph Nader and Al Gore and Hillary Clinton and Jill Stein. This is no year for symbolic votes, people.

Bob Gaydos is writer-in-residence at zestoforange.com.

rjgaydos@gmail.com

By Bob Gaydos

Addendum to “10 states my sons should not live in”

After I posted my latest piece on the Zest site (the next one down), I asked Son the Younger (Zack) if he had read it and naturally he said no. So I told him the headline on the column and asked him what states he thought might be on the list of places I urged him and his brother to avoid.

“Well … Texas probably and maybe Arizona and South Carolina,” he started off without hesitation.

“That’s great!” I said. “You got three of the worst right off the bat. Which one do you think is the worst?”

“Probably Texas because it’s dumb and there’s nothing there. But … Arizona has that new law on immigrants which is pretty bad.”

“Terrific … A-plus,” I said. “I put Arizona first only because A comes before T. Who else?”

“Alabama? Maybe West Virginia and Kentucky. Louisiana?”

“Yes, yes, yes and on the watch list.”

“Well, they have New Orleans.”

“Precisely.”

“Maybe Mississippi, too’” he continued. “Pretty much all the southern states.”

“Pretty much,” I agreed. “Fantastic job. I also included Alaska.”

“Well, yeah, it’s kinda like Texas and they pay people to live there.”

“Plus they elected Sarah Palin.”

“Oh, yeah. Pretty bad.”

The moral to this story? I dunno, maybe to pay attention to what you tell your kids because they may actually be paying attention.

I do know that after that brief chat I upgraded my own score as a father and a couple of days later treated Zack to a steak dinner — Aussie style, not Texas.

bob@zestoforange.com