By Michael Kaufman
 
Jewish-Americans of a certain age have a tendency to view things in terms of whether they are “good (or bad) for the Jews.” For example, Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis was good for the Jews. Abe Reles and his infamous pals in Murder Inc. were bad. Sandy Koufax: good. David (Son of Sam) Berkowitz: bad. You get the idea.
 
I was in Quebec City on vacation with my first wife in August 1977 when I saw the news that “Son of Sam” had been captured and arrested. He had terrorized New Yorkers, especially women, for more than a year with a murder spree that claimed the lives of six people and wounded seven others. During that time he wrote bizarre, boastful letters to the police and to Jimmy Breslin, the great newspaper columnist, taunting the authorities and hinting at his next crime. Breslin marveled at the killer’s skillful use of semicolons even as he urged him to turn himself in.
 
Inside a small candy store in Quebec City that sold out-of-town newspapers, my eye was drawn to the one-word headline that screamed from the front page of the New York Post: “CAUGHT!” I picked up the newspaper…and winced when I saw the name under the picture of the alleged killer. “This,” I thought, “is bad for the Jews.”
 
No sooner did I finish the thought than a middle-aged woman came into the store, saw the headline, and excitedly asked, “They caught him? Can I see?” She didn’t have to tell me she was from New York. I could tell by the accent. And when she gasped and said, “OH, MY GOD!” I knew she too was Jewish. She looked at me and shook her head sadly. “Berkowitz,” she whispered. She read on. “Wait!” she said hopefully. “He’s not Jewish. It says his last name was Falco when he was born. He must be Italian!”
 
“No one who sees the name David Berkowitz is going to think this guy is Italian,” I replied.
 
Some 10 years later I was delighted to receive a piece of junk mail from an Evangelical minister who proudly claimed that Berkowitz had become a born-again Christian in prison. The mailing included a copy of a handwritten letter from the killer that, alas, was devoid of semicolons. Much of the letter’s contents can be found online at the church-run “Official Website of David Berkowitz.” Yes, there is such a thing. You can find it at http://www.ariseandshine.org/index.html. Like Harry Golden used to say, “Only in America.”
 
And only in America can a book be published like “Madoff’s Other Secret: Love, Money, Bernie and Me” by Sheryl Weinstein, former chief financial officer for the charitable women’s group Hadassah. Weinstein, 60, says she had an 18-month affair with the disgraced financier who lost billions of dollars in investors’ money, including her family’s fortune. She says the affair, which took place 16 years ago, was preceded by a five-year buildup in which Madoff pursued her from the moment they met.
 
I have not read the book but according to the Associated Press it includes her description of Madoff as “not well endowed.” She says she found it important to put that in the book because it is the key to understanding his personality. One is left to wonder what might have been if Madoff had invested just a few of his ill-gained dollars in penile enlargement. Perhaps he would not have felt the need to become such a big-time swindler. This guy isn’t just bad for the Jews, he is a catastrophe. I hope he meets up with Berkowitz in prison. Maybe the Evangelicals will take him off our hands too.
 
Meanwhile, Weinstein told the Associated Press that Madoff, despite his shortcoming, was “surprisingly exciting” as a sexual partner. “When we made love,” she added, “I was on fire.” Oy vay! What kind of a way is that for a Hadassah lady to talk? Doesn’t she see this is bad for the Jews?
 
Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

Although this has been a horrific season for the New York Mets and fans of the team, I, for one, am finding it quite enjoyable. Not the injuries, of course. I hope all of the injured players make full recoveries and flourish for the rest of their careers. But this train wreck of a season has nonetheless produced many wonderful and surprising moments, each a reminder of the greatness of a game that has survived decades of stupidity, greed, and mismanagement on the part of those who run it and some who play it.

In the past few days alone we have seen a game-ending unassisted triple play (by the opposing team), a perfectly pitched inning by Billy Wagner in his first appearance since undergoing Tommy John surgery, and sparkling plays at third base by Fernando Tatis, filling in for the injured David Wright. (Who knew?) As befits a future Hall of Famer, Pedro Martinez got a warm ovation from the crowd at the appallingly named Citi Field when he was introduced as the starting pitcher for the Phillies. Pedro later contributed a run-scoring base hit to the cause despite coming to bat with a lifetime average of .099. (If you do not follow baseball and are still reading this column, a batting average of .099 is not so ai-ai-ai.)

With the Mets no longer involved in the pennant fight, or even the race for the “wild-card” spot in the playoffs, fans have angrily taken to the airwaves with calls to sports radio shows to demand the firing of Omar Minaya, the general manager and/or Jerry Manuel, the manager, or to complain about under-achieving players who are paid millions of dollars. I don’t know that anyone should be fired but I wonder if there would have been fewer injuries had there been a better conditioning program in place. In any case the callers are often the same loudmouths who had hailed Minaya as a wunderkind when he arrived on the scene a short while ago and who sang Manuel’s praises when he replaced Willie Randolph after he was fired as manager early last season.

Better they should complain about how their tax dollars were spent to put up an expensive new ballpark named after one of the banks that helped put this country into its deepest financial hole since the Great Depression. (The only banks a ballpark should be named after is Ernie Banks.) Like its American League cousin in the Bronx, the new Yankee Stadium (at least they didn’t change the name to something like “AIG Stadium”), it has been built with tax dollars for the comfort of the wealthy, complete with expanded areas of luxury seating for the corporate elite. Who cares if even the TV and radio announcers—let alone the fans in the (relatively) cheap seats—can’t see who is warming up in the bullpen? 

And speaking of the announcers: It seems that now that the Mets have no chance of getting into the post-season games, they spend more time talking about the great food at the new ballpark and about the 1969 and 1986 Mets teams than they do covering the game currently being played before their eyes. I don’t care about the overpriced culinary delights. I want to eat peanuts and hot dogs when I go to a ballgame and maybe drink a couple of beers that don’t cost as much as a fancy martini at a trendy watering hole in Tribeca. Years ago I started cooking my own hot dogs at home, wrapping them tightly in foil, and sticking them in my pocket before going to games. Try it some time. Just make sure the dogs are well wrapped.

As much as I loved the 1969 and 1986 seasons, there were plenty of fine moments to be savored during the years that preceded 1969. Granted, most of them were provided by the visiting team. I was there for some of them: Jim Bunning’s perfect game, a no-hitter by Sandy Koufax, and a bizarre 23-inning second game of a Sunday doubleheader against the Giants. The first game started at 1 p.m. The second game didn’t end until around 11:30 p.m. Talk about entertainment value! And get this…if memory serves, Eddie Kranepool played every inning of both games after being called up from the Triple-A minor league team in Tidewater, where he had played every inning of both games of a double header the day before. Baseball. It is still a great game I tell you.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

It seems like this year we have been inundated with a plethora of 40th anniversary articles and celebrations, covering everything from the Apollo moon landing to the 1969 Mets to Woodstock. This post might also have been about Woodstock but for something that happened in Warwick Saturday. And to be honest I have to admit I don’t have much to say about Woodstock: My friends and I—having turned on, tuned in, and dropped out from “the Establishment” prior to 1969—elected to pass. We didn’t want to fight the traffic. Besides, we heard it was going to rain.

So my contribution to the anniversary collection is about something far less festive. This year marks the 40th anniversary of the expulsion from Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) of Lyndon LaRouche (then known as “Prof. Lyn Marcus”) and his followers. LaRouche had been chair of the radical student organization’s National Caucus of Labor Committees (NCLC). The expulsion of LaRouche and the NCLC from SDS may be said to mark the beginning of the violent, racist, anti-Semitic, misogynist, and homophobic cult that has been in continuous operation under his direction ever since.

Two LaRouche operatives were in Warwick Saturday, where they set up a table in front of the post office, collected signatures on a petition, solicited donations, and distributed a 16-page pamphlet with an article by LaRouche decrying “Obama’s Nazi Health Plan.”

The cover features a doctored photograph that places President Obama beside Adolf Hitler, who smiles at him as a group of admirers look on. A smaller version of the same photo appears on the back cover with the caption, “Obama’s HMO Policy Is Killing Your Grandmother.”

 Among several large posters displayed was one depicting the president sporting a Hitler moustache. A large swastika adorned another. (Some of the same posters have been showing up at town-hall meetings around the country, courtesy of the LaRouche Web site, which encourages viewers to print out copies.)

Sadly, some unsuspecting passersby expressed enthusiastic approval of the display, thanks, in part, to another message prominently expressed, namely, justifiable outrage at the Wall Street bailouts. And in explaining their position on healthcare reform, the two LaRouche supporters portrayed themselves as proponents of a single-payer national health system. Their calm demeanor seemed a far cry from the offensive visual messages and bellicose writing that characterize their literature. The opening sentence of the pamphlet begins with LaRouche’s words, “Since his visit to hug the wicked little Queen in London…” (LaRouche has accused Queen Elizabeth of controlling the international heroin trade.) 

Many Warwick residents objected to the Nazi imagery. “My mother lost most of her family in Auschwitz and barely escaped the gas chambers herself,” said a woman who took part in a hastily organized counter demonstration and asked not to be identified.

“I am offended by the literature portraying President Obama, a black man, as a Nazi and buddy of Hitler. Such propaganda distorts history. Hitler and his regime killed millions in the name of Aryan superiority, and it stands history on its head to insert Obama’s picture into a Nazi rally scene or to compare his health plan to Nazi war crimes or tactics.” The images also drew angry shouts from two African-American men and several other men who appeared stunned when they came upon the scene. 

Nevertheless, a surprising number of motorists honked horns and shouted support as they drove by. And more than a few men and women eagerly made donations and signed petitions. Thus it would be a mistake to dismiss LaRouche and his followers as fringe characters with no chance of achieving success. They have already succeeded in adding to the confusion and hate that already characterizes the raucous national debate over healthcare reform.

“In a democracy based on informed consent, to not understand the nature of the LaRouche phenomenon is a dangerously naive rejection of the lessons of history—because Lyndon LaRouche represents the most recent incarnation of the unique 20th century phenomenon known as totalitarian fascism,” wrote investigative journalists Chip Berlet and Joel Bellman in “Fascism Wrapped in an American Flag,” a three-part report issued by Political Research Associates in 1989.

 “His view of history is paranoid,” they continued. “His economic theories are similar to Italian Fascism. His conspiratorial views are laced with racial and cultural bigotry and a large dose of anti-Jewish hysteria. His zealous storm troopers are motivated by an internal organizational structure that is to politics what the blitzkrieg was to international diplomacy…the totalitarian movement. History teaches us that to ignore or dismiss such a person as an ineffectual crank can have devastating consequences.”

 Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

For Bruce Jenner it was the Olympic decathlon. For Mark Spitz it was the seven gold medals. For Buzz Aldrin it was the Apollo moon landing. And for Rudolph Giuliani it is September 11 that guarantees him a hefty annual income touring the country as a high-priced motivational speaker. I caught his act in the summer of 2004—when he was still being hailed nationally as “America’s Mayor”—and frankly I was disgusted by it.

In the days before his talk Giuliani had been widely quoted condemning the street vendors who sold photos and other merchandise to tourists visiting the area surrounding the Ground Zero site. Apparently he found this lowbrow sort of profiteering shameful and unseemly. But he had no difficulty accepting $75,000 from a pharmaceutical company to deliver a 12-minute scripted talk to a group of medical specialists attending a national meeting in New York. That comes out to $6,250 per minute for a self-serving speech capitalizing on the terrorist attack of September 11, 2001.

One might argue that Giuliani earned his right to collect hefty speaking fees because of his exemplary leadership in uniting New Yorkers in the time of crisis after the attack. Well, yes and no. The Rev. Al Sharpton may have stated it a bit indelicately but he was not far off the mark when he said it was not Giuliani but rather the “pain and decency” of New Yorkers that brought us together. “We would have come together if Bozo was the mayor,” said Sharpton.

By the summer of 2004 it was known that Giuliani allowed the heroic rescue workers to continue their futile, round-the-clock efforts long after he was informed there was no chance of rescuing anyone who had not already been saved. It is impossible to know how many severe, long-term illnesses this caused among the firefighters, police, and others, who wore no masks or other protective gear to protect them from the toxic environment.

Giuliani still likes to say he was at the site “as often, if not more, than most workers.” As for the toxicity, he says, “I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I’m one of them.” Well, yes and no. In the first few days he was there a lot. After that, his appointment books show he spent a total of 29 hours at the site over three months. Recovery workers spent that much time over two or three days.

But that is not what disgusted me about the speech I witnessed. It was the whole way it went down. I learned that Giuliani would be speaking from one of the public relations people running the press room at the medical meeting. I wondered why there was no press release about it. She quietly explained that Giuliani had agreed to come only if there would be no publicity. This was puzzling to her. The only media representatives allowed to attend would be from the medical and scientific outlets…and they were not to ask questions. The only questions Giuliani would take would be from audience members. And no reporters from consumer publications or regular news organizations would be admitted. I got in because I worked for a medical publishing company.

Giuliani received a standing ovation after being introduced as “America’s Mayor.” His speech was plain vanilla motivational featuring his six “lessons on leadership” and the people he admires most. (Ronald Reagan tops the people list.) From time to time, however, he departed from the script to make a hostile comment about the media. (“They always look for something negative.”) After several such jibes he stopped and said, “Gee, I hope none of them are here now!” Then he looked around the room, pretending to search for any lurking reporters, knowing full well they had been excluded. From my position, standing against a wall near the front of the room I wanted to ask, “What are you afraid of?”

As the charade continued through a fawning question-and-answer session (“Do you think you might run for president some day?”) I thought of a lot more questions, but I had to keep them to myself. Say what you will about Sarah Palin, at least she has the guts to face the representatives of the media she so despises and try her best to answer their questions. It came as no surprise to me that during the 2008 Republican presidential primary, Giuliani gratefully accepted the endorsement of Pat Robertson, the Christian fundamentalist minister, who said the September 11 attacks happened because “God Almighty is lifting his protection from us” because, among other things, “we have allowed rampant pornography on the Internet.”

Jack Newfield said it best in a 2002 article in the Nation: “Rudy Giuliani was a C-plus Mayor who has become an A-plus myth.”

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

The other day I received a piece of junk mail containing a letter signed by Mark Spitz, who won seven gold medals in swimming at the 1972 Munich Olympics.  The letter was on behalf of a company I’d never heard of that pays cash for gold. It was accompanied by a little plastic bag suitable for holding a small stash of marijuana (not included). What Spitz wanted recipients to do with it was put their unwanted and broken pieces of gold jewelry in there and mail it to the company in a postage-paid envelope. Spitz said the company, a family-owned business in Cleveland he has known for years, would promptly send a check paying “top dollar” for the items.

The silly letter was merely the latest in a long line of endorsements that began when Spitz hung up his trunks at the age of 22 to embark on a lucrative career as the guy who won seven gold medals. He is reported to have made $7 million in the first two years following his return from Munich.

“I would say I was a pioneer,” he said in a 2008 interview. “There wasn’t anyone who’d gone to the Olympics before me who capitalized the same way on opportunity. It depends on timing, it depends on hype, it depends on the economy, and most importantly, it depends on looks. I mean, I’ve never

Mark Spitz

seen a magazine of uglies. That’s our society. I’m not saying it is right. That’s just the facts.” Luckily for him, aside from gray hair befitting his age, Spitz has retained his good looks, as evidenced by a recent head shot that appears at the upper right corner of the endorsement letter. The Botox he had been promoting, along with Nadia Comaneci, another former Olympic gold medalist, may have helped in this regard.

Like Buzz Aldrin, the former astronaut featured in last week’s post, Spitz now travels the globe as a motivational speaker. Many former athletes have gone that route and, as a sportswriter-turned-medical writer, I have seen a couple of all-time greats in both stages of their lives.

Bobby Hull was known as the Golden Jet when he starred for the Chicago Black Hawks in the National Hockey League and later in the World Hockey Association. A prolific goal scorer and graceful skater, he was so named for the shock of long blonde hair that flew behind his head as he streaked up the ice. It was a pleasure to watch him play.

Although Hull was introduced as the Golden Jet when I saw him give a motivational talk at a medical convention years later, it would have been more accurate to refer to him as the Balding Biplane. As natural as he had appeared scoring goals in hockey, he seemed uncomfortable mumbling his way through prepared remarks about achieving goals in life. To be fair, this

Bobby Hull

was one of his earlier appearances as a professional motivator and he has surely improved since then. A recent photograph suggests he has also undergone some substantial hair restoration work.

Bruce Jenner won the gold medal in decathlon at the 1976 Olympics in Montreal, which led him to another record: His picture appeared on the front of Wheaties boxes for seven consecutive years. The previous record of five years was held by the Rev. Bob Richards, who twice pole vaulted his way to Olympic gold, in Helsinki (1952) and Melbourne (1956).  Richards also ran for President of the United States in 1984 as the candidate of the newly formed, far-right Populist Party. He got 66,000 votes.

I was at the Montreal Olympics, where Jenner won the gold, and in the late 1980s covered a meeting of the American Society of Consultant Pharmacists, where he gave a motivational speech. He said the lessons he had learned from his experience did not just apply to athletics but to all walks of life, including the “pharmacy business.” This did not go over too well with audience members, who realized at once that he had not bothered to learn what they do for a living.

Bruce Jenner

Nevertheless, he looked great as he told his story of battling dyslexia and overcoming numerous obstacles to achieve his goal of becoming an Olympic champion.

Jenner’s speaking gigs are arranged through American Entertainment International, which describes him as “a highly respected and much sought-after motivational speaker, especially within the corporate sector…also a sports commentator, entrepreneur, commercial spokesperson, television personality, actor, producer and author.” But wait, there’s more. “A devoted husband and father of six, when he isn’t making corporate appearances or spending time with his family, Bruce Jenner can be found flying planes, racing cars in Grand Prix events and working on his golf game.” Sounds like he’s been eating his Wheaties.

Hey, as Mark Spitz put it, that’s our society. I’m not saying it is right. That’s just the facts. In next week’s post I’ll tell you about the most disgusting, self-serving motivational speech I ever witnessed. Wait till you find out who the speaker was…and how much he was paid.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com

By Michael Kaufman

As we mark the 40th anniversary of mankind’s first trip to the moon, I recall exactly where I was July 20, 1969, when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin invented the moonwalk (later adapted and updated by Michael Jackson). I was strolling on Broadway on the upper West Side of Manhattan near a tiny enclave then known none-too affectionately as “Needle Park.” My thoughts were on the Mets, then involved in a pennant race for the first time in the young life of the team. A fellow I recognized as one of the local winos sat alone on one of the park benches, holding a transistor radio to his ear.

“What’s the score?” I called out, slowing my pace. He looked up at me, frowning. Then he said, “I ain’t listening to no ballgame, I’m listening ‘bout that moon crap!”

Years later I was tempted to share that vignette with Buzz Aldrin when I met him at a medical meeting I was covering. He was there on behalf of a pharmaceutical company marketing a new wound dressing, linking it to “space-age technology.”

Kaufman as Viagra MVP

His presence increased traffic at the company’s booth in the exhibit area. Mercifully, they did not have him pose for souvenir pictures that made it look like the doctor smiling next to him was one of his fellow astronauts. Maybe the technology wasn’t available yet. I covered a meeting a few years ago where urologists lined up to appear in a baseball-card photo depicting them in Viagra team uniforms. It was an MVP card (with MVP standing for “most valuable prescriber”). I even posed for one (see photo). At another recent meeting, Dick Vermeil, a famous football coach, provided hundreds of toothy smiles.   

Besides appearing at the booth, Aldrin spent time in the evenings at the company’s hospitality suite, hoisting a few with a handful of invited guests, company personnel, and this writer, who managed to wangle an invitation. This must have taken place during the period he describes in his memoir, “Magnificent Desolation,” in which he documents his battles against depression and alcoholism. That night he certainly looked depressed, chain smoking and drinking the night away as boozed up guests asked him annoying questions like, “What was it like going to the bathroom?” 

Today, his desolation behind him, Aldrin is a motivational speaker represented by the Executive Speakers Bureau of Memphis and is reported to receive between $30,000-$50,000 per appearance. He also has a snazzy Web site, buzzaldrin.com, where he hawks t-shirts that say “Rocket Hero” with a logo suggestive of an astronaut placing a flag on the moon, and autographed pictures for $350. Or you can buy his Buzz Aldrin G6 Aviator Radio and even download his latest rap song on iTunes.

Yes, to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the first lunar landing, Aldrin has teamed up with Snoop Dogg and other luminaries of the hip-hop genre to create the rap single and video, “Rocket Experience.”

Buzz Aldrin

Proceeds will benefit ShareSpace, a non-profit foundation he launched in 1998. “Our mission is to share the wonders of space with children of all ages, and to foster affordable space travel opportunities for all,” he says.

Thanks to ShareSpace, perhaps even a wino from Needle Park may one day be able to afford to travel in space and see “that moon crap” in person.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com

By Michael Kaufman

It is a good thing I will never get nominated to be a Supreme Court justice. My meltdown would come early in the hearings. Just listening to some of the comments of the Republican yahoos during the Senate confirmation hearing for Judge Sonia Sotomayor got my blood boiling. And I’m not even a wise Latina woman!

And no one heated up my corpuscles more than Jefferson Beauregard “Jeff” Sessions III, the junior senator from Alabama and the ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee. Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania used to be the top Republican but he switched parties recently when he saw the GOP’s big tent shrink to the size of a lean-to occupied mainly by right-wing extremists and Christian fundamentalists. Those folks think Specter is “too liberal,” which is scary to anyone of the progressive persuasion who remembers the hatchet job he did on Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings or, for that matter, who is aware of his current anti-labor stance regarding the Employee Free Choice Act. (Speaking of stances, is Larry Craig still in the Senate?)

Alas for progressives, Sessions is a worse spectre than Specter. Sessions has become the darling of Rush (Big Fat Idiot) Limbaugh and other loudmouths of his ilk in attacking Judge Sotomayor’s involvement with the Puerto Rican Legal Defense and Education Fund. After helping to create an atmosphere in which Limbaugh, et al, have been repeatedly calling Judge Sotomayor a “racist” for weeks, Sessions demagogically, albeit wisely, distanced himself from the epithet as the hearings began.

After all, he said, he knows what it is like to be wrongly called a racist. Only in his case it is not so wrongly. As Ian Millhiser, a legal research analyst for ThinkProgress.org, a project of the Center for American Progress Action Fund, writes, “Sessions’ decision to embrace the right-wing attack on civil rights law says a lot more about Jeff Sessions than it does about Sonia Sotomayor.” Millhiser notes that it was precisely because of his deeply rooted “hostility to the very notion of civil rights” that the Senate rejected Sessions for an appointment as a federal judge in 1986.

Millhiser cites three examples, at least two of which would qualify Sessions as racist in my book. As a federal prosecutor, Sessions conducted a “tenuous investigation” into voting rights advocates seeking to register African-American voters. The investigation ended in an unsuccessful attempt to prosecute an aide to the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sessions referred to the NAACP and the ACLU as “un-American” and “Communist-inspired” organizations that “forced civil rights down the throats of people.” Millhiser notes that when recently confronted with these quotes, Sessions conceded they were “probably wrong,” however, he continued to stand by a statement that the Voting Rights Act is “a piece of intrusive legislation.”

Finally, Millhiser cites comments from an African-American lawyer who said Sessions referred to him as “boy” and admonished him for speaking critically to a secretary, saying, “Be careful what you say to white folks.” Oh, and Sessions also told the lawyer he had thought the Ku Klux Klan was “okay” until he found out that some of the members were pot smokers. What, did he see them smoking pot while going about their more acceptable behavior like cross burnings and lynchings? This man is questioning Sonia Sotomayor about whether she can be impartial in cases that involve racial issues? Are you kidding me?

Judge Sotomayor has remained polite and gracious throughout the baiting questions asked by Sessions and other Republicans on the committee. She has to do this because if she has a meltdown it might jeopardize her confirmation. So, on her behalf and my own I say to Jefferson Beauregard “Jeff” Sessions III, junior senator from Alabama and ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee: Shut the hell up!

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

With healthcare reform on more people’s lips these days than Botox is in them, it seems fitting to share a few observations based on my experience as a medical writer and reporter. This thought was triggered by the recent report that Arnold Klein, a dermatologist in Beverly Hills, is the biological father of two of Michael Jackson’s children.

Dr. Klein is known within his specialty as an expert in performing aesthetic procedures (including those involving Botox) and his seminars and workshops are always jam-packed with clinicians eager to learn his latest techniques. I witnessed this phenomenon a few years ago while covering a meeting of the Hawaii Dermatology Seminar in Maui.  I know, it was a tough job but someone had to do it.

I’ve been connected with dermatology since the late 1970s, when I began a nine-year stint as editor of the Dermatology News. As such I was on hand for the first presentation on the cosmetic use of botulinim toxin (Botox), the first on topical minoxidil (Rogaine) to regrow hair, and the first in the United State on liposuction, given by Pierre Fournier—the French inventor of the procedure. The latter was memorable for a mind-numbing series of slides featuring before-and-after photos of numerous bare buttocks of female patients. “Here are zee saddlebags,” Dr. Fournier would say, aiming a laser pointer at the offending derriere. “And here are zee buttocks after zee procedure.”

In March I covered the 67th annual meeting of the American Academy of Dermatology as a freelancer. My assignment was to comb through the voluminous material presented at the five-day meeting in San Francisco and gather information on promising new drugs and products in development. Much of what I needed could be found among the several thousand scientific posters displayed. But the poster that grabbed my attention most was one on gentian violet, an old standby that has been around since the late 1800s and was used worldwide for decades to treat a wide range of infections.

It is rarely used for that purpose today in the US. At first it was nostalgia that drew me to the poster. Seeing the words “gentian violet” for the first time in decades brought back warm memories of my mother applying the purple stuff to a myriad of childhood cuts and scrapes. I liked that it didn’t burn like iodine and I thought the purple color was kind of cool. Who cared if it was greasy and stained the bed sheets?

As I read the abstract and the rest of the poster it became clear there was a lot more than nostalgia that made it worthwhile. Researchers from the Department of Dermatology at the Downstate Medical Center in Brooklyn had evaluated the ability of gentian violet to kill seven strains of methicillin resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) bacteria obtained from skin wounds of patients at the medical center.

You remember MRSA. Before the swine flu stole the headlines, it was one of the biggest public health scourges since AIDS. In 2005, 19,000 documented deaths were attributed to MRSA, even more than the number of deaths caused by HIV/AIDS. “School closings from fears of infection are now commonplace across the country,” says Michael Berry, MD, a dermatology resident at Downstate and lead author of the poster.

Moreover, the rise in the number of cases of MRSA has been accompanied by its resistance to commonly used antibiotics. “MRSA is becoming an ever-increasing problem to treat,” says Dr. Berry. “Resistant strains are commonly encountered in post-surgical sites, superficial skin wounds, and leg ulcers.” And, he explains, resistance to mupirocin, the most commonly used topical antibiotic, is rising, as is resistance to other often-used topical antimicrobials. The Downstate study confirmed earlier findings of several small studies carried out in Japan. Gentian violet is 100% effective in killing five of the seven strains evaluated, and nearly 100% effective against the other two. What’s more, it is inexpensive and readily available without a prescription.

“Mupirocin costs approximately $40 for a 30-gm tube,” says Dr. Berry. “A 2-ounce bottle of gentian violet can be purchased on line for $1.99.” He and his colleagues concluded that gentian violet may be “one of the more useful drugs for the treatment of skin lesions infected with MRSA.” Its effectiveness and low cost compared to other agents, Dr. Berry says, “might make people willing to accept a little purple discoloration on the bed sheets.”

Of course people would have to know about it first and despite the best efforts of Dr. Berry and his colleagues, few do. Only three people were on hand for his oral presentation—and I was one of them. The other two were his parents. A few weeks later I had an appointment with my dermatologist. He had not heard anything about the Downstate study and was grateful for the information, saying, “I will use it in my practice.” But he was not surprised the word has not gotten out. “There is no money in it,” he explained.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

The following stories are true. Even the names have not been changed to protect the innocent. They are selected short news articles that appeared over the years in the pages of the New York Post or the Daily News. I clipped and saved them just knowing they would come in handy some day. Here they are, with their original headlines. Enjoy!

TURKS SEE A SPECTRE

Ankara – The public prosecutor here is investigating a complaint that a map of North America shown on Turkish television looks so much like a profile of Lenin that it constitutes illegal Communist propaganda.

Map of North America in Turkey

Officials of the state-owned Turkish Radio and Television said a Turk, whom they did not identify, made the complaint to the prosecutor and an official inquiry was in progress. TRT was sending photographs of the map – used as part of a backdrop for newscasts – to the prosecutor.

Communist propaganda is illegal in Turkey.

THE BALLOT OF MICKEY MOUSE

New Braunfels, Tex. (AP) – Election officials have gone to court to stop a recount of the write-in votes for Mickey Mouse in a race for county judge. Incombent Comal County Judge Max Womack was the only candidate on the ballot in the recent general election.

Mickey Mouse was deemed unfit to hold office in Texas

Joseph Shields, editor of a Canyon Lake Weekly newspaper, has said he will file an affidavit asking for a recount, but he has not done so. Officials did not bother to count Mouse’s vote in the canvas, which Shields says they should have done.

Election officials, seeking a temporary injunction, said in their application a recount would be a waste of the taxpayers’ money. Their petition also states, “Mickey Mouse is not and has not been a resident of Comal County for six months as required by law” and that “said Mickey Mouse is an idiot, lunatic and minor and very possibly an unpardoned felon and is, therefore, according to the laws of the State of Texas, ineligible to hold office.”

BETTER TO GIVE THAN DECEIVE

Tulsa, Okla (UPI) – Goodwill Industries says that some of its Christmas donations are causing more confusion than good. Executive Director Russle Brami said that collection boxes recently produced two hand grenades, two goats, five live ducks, grass cuttings, World War II K rations, marriage licenses, camel saddles, and an assortment of live snakes and lizards.

AMIN’S MINISTER OF LOVE

KAMPALA–President Idi Amin of Uganda has fired foreign minister,

Fired frisky foreign minister

Elizabetr Bagaya, accusing her of unbecoming behavior during a trip abroad.                                  Gen. Amin was particularly annoyed to learn that Ms. Bagaya made love to an unknown European  in a bathroom at a Paris airport on her way home after representing Uganda at the UN recently, according to Radio Uganda.

PICKS OUT CASKETS, KILLS KIN & SELF

Laurium, Mich. (Knight-Ridder)–A funeral director described by a friend as “an exacting sort of fellow” shot and killed his wife and grandson before taking his own life yesterday in the family’s apartment above the funeral home.

Maynard Hulburt, 64, filled out three death certificates, picked out three caskets, and left three sets of clothing hanging in a bedroom for the victims before the killings, the police said.

TOILET FIRMS CALLED FLUSH

Washington (UPI) – A federal grand jury indicted four manufacturing companies and three of their executives today on charges of violating anti-trust laws by conspiring to fix prices of wooden toilet seats.

Michael can be reached a michael@zestoforange.com

By Michael Kaufman

If there is anything more boring than a speech at a high-school graduation ceremony, no one ever told me about it. As a father of five, uncle, grandparent, and family friend, I have sat (and slept) through more stultifying commencement addresses than I care to remember. In fact, until this month there was only one I could remember, that given by Jon Kotch, the valedictorian of my high school class of 1964 at Oceanside High.

Jon scrapped his pre-approved remarks and instead delivered a stinging critique of school administrators for suppressing independent thought and creativity for four years. It was an electrifying address but it was met with the normal amount of disinterested applause from the assembled parents and guests. Most of the audience, accustomed to hearing the usual tedious claptrap and platitudes about the “future,” had simply tuned out. “Abe Lincoln could come back from the dead and deliver the Gettysburg Address here and these people wouldn’t notice,” complained Helen Press, mother of my friend, Steve, one of the few parents who actually listened to Jon’s speech.

Two years before Jon gave his valedictory speech, Robert M. Morgenthau was the Democratic candidate for governor of NY State. I took part in his campaign as a 16-year-old member of the Junior Democrats. Unfortunately, my memory of the event, which ended in a lopsided victory for Nelson Rockefeller, betrayed me when I met Mr. Morgenthau last year at the Storm King School in Cornwall.

Our daughters were performing in a play together and since the girls are friends I thought it would be a nice gesture to introduce myself. As we shook hands I added, “I campaigned for you when you ran for Nassau County Executive.” His puzzled expression was enough to tell me I had misspoken. “Fishkill!” was all he said by way of correction. “Fishkill!” he repeated merrily before sauntering down the aisle to take his seat. It was my turn to be puzzled…until I learned that in addition to his longtime regular job as Manhattan District Attorney, Mr. Morgenthau likes to spend time on the family apple farm in Fishkill in Dutchess County, far from the suburban climes of Nassau.

This I learned from Mr. Morgenthau as he delivered the guest speech  just three weeks ago at the Storm King graduation. His daughter Amy, the youngest of his five children, was among the graduates. Morgenthau, who

Robert M. Morgenthau with his daughter Amy following his graduation speech at the Storm King School in Cornwall.

will turn 90 next month, has been Manhattan DA since 1975, winning seven consecutive elections and countless convictions along the way. In February he announced that he will not seek re-election and will retire at the end of the year. His fabled career inspired the television series “Law and Order.”

Nobody tuned out his speech, which he began by noting that Storm King has been around since the Civil War (speaking of Abe Lincoln) and adding a quip alluding to his own longevity. From then on he spoke forthrightly about issues that now face our country and that will bear on the lives of the graduates for years to come.

He praised Storm King’s officials for “internationalizing” the school, half of whose students hail from Pacific Rim countries like Japan, China, and Korea. “The planet keeps getting smaller,” he said, “and it is important that we Americans reach out across the seas to our neighbors rather than consider ourselves ‘exceptional’ and try to go it alone.”

He spoke of the close relationship that existed between Storm King and Deerfield, the Massachusetts school from which he graduated 72 years ago. At Deerfield, he said, headmaster Frank Boyden “joined the boys from the farms and the mills with the children of the privileged to create a community in which no one cared which was which.

“I finished high school in 1937,” he continued. “It was not a happy time. Economically, we were mired in the Great Depression and the drums of war were sounding.” Now, he told the students, it is their turn to deal with hard times. “Economically, we face the worst crisis since the Great Depression. The US is threatened by enemies, some of whom have, or soon may have, nuclear weapons. We are torn internally as to whether tactics we have used against our opponents have made us too much like our enemies.” At this some of the adults in attendance shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

He had no platitudes or “magic answers” for the students but instead drew on his own life experiences for guidance. Soon after he enlisted in the Navy in 1940 he learned that “you can’t row a boat unless everyone is pulling in the same direction. You see infinitely varied skills and personalities, and virtually everyone will make a contribution to the common effort if you dig until you find the skill that each person brings to the table and make room for them to employ those skills.”

He told of serving on a destroyer on convoy duty in the Mediterranean during World War II when a torpedo hit a nearby transport. The ship exploded and sank, killing all 580 men aboard. “A second torpedo sank our ship,” he continued. “Every convoy’s standing orders were quite clear and strict: If a ship went down, every other ship in the convoy must sail on, lest other ships be hit as well. But that night, two destroyer escorts manned by the Coast Guard ignored the orders. They stopped and, at intense risk to themselves, shined their searchlights on the waters until they could fish out the men from my destroyer. The captains of those ships did not go to prep school but they had somewhere learned what I am trying to convey to you now. Work as a team, remember where you came from, and leave no comrade behind.”

From World War II he shifted to current events, offering a ringing endorsement of Sonia Sotomayor, President Obama’s Supreme Court nominee. Judge Sotomayor spent five years in Manhattan as an Assistant District Attorney “prosecuting murderers, child pornographers, and just about any other kind of criminal you can imagine,” he recalled. “She illustrates the basic principle of the American credo…It didn’t stop with Abe Lincoln. If you are an individual with talent who will work hard, you can be promoted to any position your skills earn.

“The American Dream does not always come true,” he cautioned. “Life can never be that simple. But Judge Sotomayor’s example shows that it is a dream well worth pursuing.” His remarks on behalf of Judge Sotomayor drew loud applause, save for the the same few who again shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

His parting advice: “Use the next few years to explore knowledge and your own mind before working too hard on a career. Be loyal to those in your past. Look for the best in the people you meet down the road, appreciate their diverse talents, and work with them to resolve today’s challenges.” He received a standing ovation.

Don’t tell Kotch but I think Morgenthau’s speech may have been even better than his.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.