By Michael Kaufman
 
Jewish-Americans of a certain age have a tendency to view things in terms of whether they are “good (or bad) for the Jews.” For example, Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis was good for the Jews. Abe Reles and his infamous pals in Murder Inc. were bad. Sandy Koufax: good. David (Son of Sam) Berkowitz: bad. You get the idea.
 
I was in Quebec City on vacation with my first wife in August 1977 when I saw the news that “Son of Sam” had been captured and arrested. He had terrorized New Yorkers, especially women, for more than a year with a murder spree that claimed the lives of six people and wounded seven others. During that time he wrote bizarre, boastful letters to the police and to Jimmy Breslin, the great newspaper columnist, taunting the authorities and hinting at his next crime. Breslin marveled at the killer’s skillful use of semicolons even as he urged him to turn himself in.
 
Inside a small candy store in Quebec City that sold out-of-town newspapers, my eye was drawn to the one-word headline that screamed from the front page of the New York Post: “CAUGHT!” I picked up the newspaper…and winced when I saw the name under the picture of the alleged killer. “This,” I thought, “is bad for the Jews.”
 
No sooner did I finish the thought than a middle-aged woman came into the store, saw the headline, and excitedly asked, “They caught him? Can I see?” She didn’t have to tell me she was from New York. I could tell by the accent. And when she gasped and said, “OH, MY GOD!” I knew she too was Jewish. She looked at me and shook her head sadly. “Berkowitz,” she whispered. She read on. “Wait!” she said hopefully. “He’s not Jewish. It says his last name was Falco when he was born. He must be Italian!”
 
“No one who sees the name David Berkowitz is going to think this guy is Italian,” I replied.
 
Some 10 years later I was delighted to receive a piece of junk mail from an Evangelical minister who proudly claimed that Berkowitz had become a born-again Christian in prison. The mailing included a copy of a handwritten letter from the killer that, alas, was devoid of semicolons. Much of the letter’s contents can be found online at the church-run “Official Website of David Berkowitz.” Yes, there is such a thing. You can find it at http://www.ariseandshine.org/index.html. Like Harry Golden used to say, “Only in America.”
 
And only in America can a book be published like “Madoff’s Other Secret: Love, Money, Bernie and Me” by Sheryl Weinstein, former chief financial officer for the charitable women’s group Hadassah. Weinstein, 60, says she had an 18-month affair with the disgraced financier who lost billions of dollars in investors’ money, including her family’s fortune. She says the affair, which took place 16 years ago, was preceded by a five-year buildup in which Madoff pursued her from the moment they met.
 
I have not read the book but according to the Associated Press it includes her description of Madoff as “not well endowed.” She says she found it important to put that in the book because it is the key to understanding his personality. One is left to wonder what might have been if Madoff had invested just a few of his ill-gained dollars in penile enlargement. Perhaps he would not have felt the need to become such a big-time swindler. This guy isn’t just bad for the Jews, he is a catastrophe. I hope he meets up with Berkowitz in prison. Maybe the Evangelicals will take him off our hands too.
 
Meanwhile, Weinstein told the Associated Press that Madoff, despite his shortcoming, was “surprisingly exciting” as a sexual partner. “When we made love,” she added, “I was on fire.” Oy vay! What kind of a way is that for a Hadassah lady to talk? Doesn’t she see this is bad for the Jews?
 
Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

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