By Bob Gaydos

Take the test

    Life sometimes catches up with you even when you’re trying to preserve your sanity and help save your country from fascism. Bills have to be paid, shopping has to be done, bushes pruned, dogs and cats and birds have to be fed. Even in retirement, there are commitments, meetings and friends to draw your attention.

     So, just to be sure I didn’t miss anything important last week, I paused to take the Associated Press’s weekly news quiz. I aced it, nine out of ten. Editor level mastery, AP said. OK, but oh my god, if you know the right answers, what a too typically depressing week.

     We started with a question on what a Senate committee voted to do about Dr. Anthony Fauci: Subpoena, censure, revoke his license or hold him in contempt? Then we’re asked what the Trump administration announced for Headstart: Raise teachers’ pay, smaller classes, new programs, or eliminate regulations?

   Then they wanted to know why Capitol One closed all of Trump’s bank accounts: He asked them to do it, or he was inactive on his accounts. Or maybe there were too many overdraft fees or concern over possible money laundering. Hmmm.

    Then, AP wanted to know who jumped in on badmouthing FIFA president Gianni Infantino for basically trying to sell off FIFA. And there was the matter of Trump badmouthing U.S. attorney Jeanine Pirro, whom he appointed, in the case over the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, wondering why she stopped prosecuting his pet project.

     There was also some musing about what prompted the salmonella outbreak that caused Chipotle to remove, yes, jalapeños from some restaurants. (Nothing about lettuce and diarrhea.) Then we had Senator Bernie Marino saying his former son-in-law, Max Miller, should resign from the House because — I’ll give you this one: domestic abuse allegations. Also, Trump was ending a subsidy for a Medicare program. Take your pick: A, B, D or Medigap?

      I took a guess on one of them: What did singer Ariana Grande decide to do after wrapping up her Eternal Sunshine tour next month? Looking at the state of the world from just this one week’s worth of questions (and answers), I figured she’d just like to go away and take a break from all of it. I was right.

     I’d like to do that too, Ariana, but there’s still a) bills to be paid, b) dogs to be fed, etc. and, as evident from the questions, c) fascism still to be fought.

     Take the test yourself if you’re in a positive frame of mind.

https://apnews.com/article/news-quiz-08-07-2026-fauci-trump-headstart