By Shawn Dell Joyce

New York is near the top of the list of states in terms of depressed residents. Much of this holiday malaise can be traced to a sagging economy and unrealistic holiday expectations. A parents’ group, the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, wrote letters to 24 leading toy companies and retailers to state their concern about ads aimed at kids. These parents expressed dismay that they can’t afford the pricey toys that toymakers are heavily advertising to children, and said children feel diminished when they don’t get those pricey toys.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that we are descended from settlers’ children who rejoiced at receiving a penny and a stick of candy as their main holiday gifts. In the 1800’s, people earned $1,500 per year and would have had one nice set of clothes for church, and one shabby set for daily life. They worked twice as hard for a simple diet because they had to grow most of what they ate. Over the course of 200-plus years, we have grown an average of 4 inches taller and 20 pounds heavier, our houses have more than doubled in square footage, and we no longer delight in a penny and a stick of candy.

We need to reclaim our holidays as times of family togetherness and joy, no matter what shape the economy is in. Even if you don’t celebrate the Christian holiday, or the Jewish Hannukah, or African Kwanzaa, you can still celebrate a “Secular Sabbath,” in the words of New York Times food columnist Mark Bittman. A secular Sabbath is a break from email, cell phones, television, and all the other distractions of modern living that keep us alienated from each other.

“You need not be elderly to remember when we had no choice but to reduce activity on Sundays; stores and offices — even restaurants — were closed, there were certainly no electronics, and we were largely occupied by ourselves or our families,” writes Bittman.

Here are some inexpensive  ways to get more joy from the holiday season:

—  Find joy in the mundane moments. Notice the details of the season, new fallen snow, laughing children off from school, glittering icicles and the sparkle of a lit tree.

— Avoid comparing your decorated house with your neighbors or your co-worker’s holiday plans with your own and so forth. Instead of comparing, which is almost always unfavorable, be genuinely glad for your fellows, delight in their joy, and you in turn will feel greater satisfaction.

— Bring holiday cheer to neighbors by baking cookies and then delivering them. No neighbors? Drop in at the Montgomery Nursing Home or another near you.

— Put gratitude in your attitude. Start your holidays off with a gratitude list noting all the wonderful tangible and intangible blessings you have in your life. Counting your blessings will keep you focused more on what you do have

— Keep the spirit of the holidays in your heart all year. Remember to give often and generously. Make volunteerism part of your daily routine. Research indicates that both the giver and the receiver of a good deed get an endorphin boost from the act.

Shawn Dell Joyce is an award-winning columnist and founder of the Wallkill River School in Montgomery. Shawn@zestoforange.com 

 By Michael Kaufman

Still searching for that perfect holiday gift for your favorite hipster? Have I got a book for you! The only trouble is that it was published in 1993 and it may not be so easy to find. I just checked on Amazon and there were only two copies listed (1 New and 1 Used).

Nevertheless, it is one of my all-time favorite books. It’s The Opus of Everything in Nothing Flat by Mikhail Horowitz and it is composed of 23 jazz poems and selcted performance pieces, including the likes of “Hitman Haiku,” “Litany of the Dead,” and “Howl for Casey.” But this is the one that sent me to the bookshelf for purposes of this post:

 There’s No Noel There   
      if Gertrude Stein had written A Visit From St. Nicholas 

The night before Xmas was the night before Xmas and
we were staying where we stayed when we stayed at             Xmastime. And in this place, where we stayed when we
stayed where we were staying at Xmastime, we heard
suddenly with much struggling, a clatter, we heard
suddenly with much struggling a great clatter, the sound
of something being clatter, on the roof of this place
where we stayed when we stayed where we were staying
at Xmastime, and we knew that this clatter was a great
one. This one was certainly a great clatter, this one was
certainly clearly expressing something. So we sprang
from our beds at the sound of this clatter, to see what
was the matter with this clatter, to see if the matter was
a great one, since the clatter was a great one, since the
clatter was quite certainly a great one on the roof of this
place where we stayed when we stayed where we were
staying at Xmastime. And we were listening again and
again to reindeer, doing what they were doing on the
roof of this place where we were staying, and we
certainly heard them, and they were quite certainly the
source of the clatter, and the clatter was quite certainly
a great clatter, one that was greatly expressing some-
thing. And it was greatly expressing something being strug-
gling. And there was one who was with the reindeer, and he
too was greatly expressing something being struggling, and he
was doing what he was doing with a great sack on his back,
alack. And he was doing what he was doing with the reindeer.
And the reindeer were doing what they were doing on the roof,
and what they were doing was excreting something.
We did not want them to be doing what they were doing on
the roof of this place where we were staying, so we shot them.
And we shot the one who was struggling with them, and we
shot him again and again. And we were quite certainly clearly
expressing something.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Jeffrey Page

Technically, this column is a mixed metaphor. Bear with me.

Somebody in Albany had the good sense to take a look at the state’s cash on hand and discovered it was $3 million – or about 15 cents per person. This is cutting things pretty thin. You know what 15 cents buys nowadays.

Governor Paterson understood the impossibility of this situation. No state can operate with such a threadbare treasury, especially if it wishes to sell bonds and even more especially if that state happens to be New York, the state of Wall Street, the financial capital of the world.

As a result, Paterson decided to withhold about $750 million in aid to the state’s municipalities and school districts. He said he wasn’t cancelling this assistance, but deferring it for now. He said he expects to be sued over his action, but so far he’s standing his ground. We shall see for how long.

So, as the state of New York teeters on the brink, let the howling from various interests begin. By the way, have you heard anything constructive from members of the State Senate or Assembly about the state’s wretched financial condition?

If the usual recipients of state aid are unhappy now, wait until the suspension of this assistance works its way down to the unhappiest people of all – the taxpayers. Schools and local government won’t be closed – and, in fact, we wouldn’t want them closed – but with cuts in aid to school districts and municipalities, it’s you, me and the guy next door who’ll be socked with higher taxes to make up the difference.

We’ve got to have that money to educate the children because the kids are our future and had nothing to do with making the current crisis, right? We’ve got to fund law enforcement agencies to keep ourselves safe, right? We have to fund Medicaid for poor people, right? We must continue funding our libraries, right? We want to make sure homeless people don’t freeze, right? We want the state parks to remain open for our enjoyment, right? It’s not even winter yet, but we want our highway departments fully staffed and equipped when the next snow falls, right? We’ve got to pay our municipal workers, right? We have to feed hungry people, right?

We’ve got to pay salaries to our elected officials, right? Uh, wait a second; hold that last thought.

Let us agree that it’s payback time. Remember earlier this year when the 62 members of the State Senate proved their incompetence as they forced the end of important legislative business by closing the Senate for a month? Remember how those ladies and gentlemen yammered about what they called “reform” and what the rest of us knew was lust for power?

Those geniuses in the Senate owe 20 million New Yorkers for their bipartisan temper tantrum, and so a modest proposal.

Governor Paterson could more than double the state’s cash on hand by withholding the $4.9 million that the 62 senators get every year. (Each receives $79,000, with members of the leadership getting a little more; would you believe it?) In this way, he could defer only $745,100,000 to the schools and towns. It’s a pittance in the great scheme of things, but wouldn’t it make you happy to know the senators are suffering some of the pain that we’re all feeling?

Let Paterson be sued. It would be refreshing to put a couple of members of the State Senate in a witness chair, under oath, and have them describe what it is they actually do to merit a salary 48 percent higher than the pay most of their constituents get.

The extra money won’t help New York much. But making life a little difficult, maybe a little embarrassing, for the members of the State Senate might be a lot of fun. Make them hire attorneys. Make them go to their in-laws for a loan to tide them over until they get a check from whatever it is they do when they’re not being senators.

Jeffrey can be reached at jeffrey@zestoforange.com

By Shawn Dell Joyce

We have all heard the old saying that it is better to give than to receive, but recently, a new study proved scientifically that the real key to happiness is generous giving. In times of economic stress, it is even more important because giving actually builds your wealth, and the wealth of the local community.

People who give charitably are 43 percent more likely to say they are “very happy” than non-givers, while non-givers are three and a half times more likely to report they are “not happy at all,” notes Arthur Brooks in his new book, “Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth about Compassionate Conservatism.”

In a surprising turn, Brooks proves that giving also increases personal and well as national prosperity. Brooks quotes a survey that controlled for education, age, race and all the other outside explanations for giving and income increases. The survey proved that a dollar donated to charity was associated with $4.35 in extra income for the giver. $3.75 of that was due to the dollar given to charity, and the multiplier effect it has in the local economy.

But we really don’t need a study to show us how giving benefits our local community.  Many of us lot our jobs and/or homes this year. In fact, one out of eight of our neighbors needs unemployment benefits, and one in four children relies on food stamps. If you are having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit because of reasons like these, it is especially important to give.  

         There are angels among us who do this every day, without fail, and regardless of the economy. I won’t embarrass them by using their full names, and it really isn’t important “who” so much as “how.”

Take grocery clerk Karena who volunteers at the Montgomery Food Pantry and organizes food drives in her place of employment. She strengthens a safety net for 181 local families, and stands between them and hunger. Not a wealthy person herself, she manages to make a huge difference in people’s lives by giving her time and energy.

Edie is a local farmer who is always there when 4H or other children’s organizations need help. Her service to the community has furthered many of our youth’s understanding of our agricultural heritage.

Marion is an octogenarian who (almost single-handedly) has preserved much of Montgomery’s history. Without her vast volunteer hours; stories and treasures of our recent past would be lost to future generations.

Bob is a volunteer fireman who also volunteers his time and energy to at least three other nonprofit community organizations. Volunteer firemen have to be ready on a moment’s notice to place their life on the line to serve our community.

Finally there’s Lily, a senior who volunteers much of her time and resources to local nonprofits. I happen to run one that benefits from her generosity. She also doesn’t have a vast fortune, but still manages to give of herself through hundreds of random acts of kindness in a single day.

           Start by listing at least 25 things you are grateful for, from the food in your belly to the clothes on your back. Then follow in these folk’s footsteps and find your way to make Orange County a better place.

Shawn@zestoforange.com

Dusting

By Carrie Jacobson

Snow dusted the ground and laced the trees on this recent morning in Orange County. The days are short, the weather uncertain, the crush of the season is upon us, but buried in all of this, under this dusting of hurry and bustle, are sweet memories and joyful reunions. Best wishes of the season to you all!

This painting is oil on canvas, 11×14. Contact carrieBjacobson@gmail.com for information on price and delivery options.

Photography by Rich Gigli

COMING OF WINTER - Snow flakes are like people it takes many to make a beautiful scene. Photo was taken in Delaware County, N.Y.

By Bob Gaydos

 Jeter took care of that over-rated rap this year. He won almost every baseball award out there except most valuable player, captured his fifth World Series ring, captained the United States team in the World Baseball Classic, became the Yankees’ all-time leader in hits, surpassing legends named Gehrig, Ruth and Mantle, and did it the way he has his entire career, quietly and methodically, with respect for the game and fans. He even won an award for his charity work off the field.

So his selection as Sports Illustrated’s Sportsman of the Year was not surprising. In fact, it was refreshing. I’m talking here as a dad now as well as a longtime sports fan and unapologetic Yankee fan. I don’t know how  you read the cover story on Jeter without thinking, “This guy is too good to be true. What wonderful parents he must have.”

 I coached my sons in Little League for 10 years. Great stuff. I miss it. One of the things coaches do is give young players major leaguers to mimic. Lots of kids mimic Jeter. Or try to. His patented jump throw fom the hole. His batter’s box routine withthe raised hand. Maybe a fist pump. But we always tried to get them to mimic the way Jeter ran out every ground ball with full effort, no matter the score or the import of the game.

The general manager of the Oakland A’s was so impressed with this, he made a video of Jeter running to first base in a game the Yankees were losing, to show to Oakland players in spring training. “You think you’re running hard until you see a champion and a Hall of Famer run,” he explained. Jeter’s response was typical: “My whole thing is you’re only playing three hours a day. The least you can do is play hard.” Manny, are you listening?

One other thing in that S.I. article was pure Jeter: “I never liked people who talked about themselves all the time, gloat. If you’re accomplished and have done things, people will talk about it for you. I don’t think you have to point it out.” This is a rule of life that apparently not too many pro football players have learned, what with all the chest-thumping after every tackle, batted-down pass or pass completion by people paid to do just that.

 Anyway, I insisted my sons read the Jeter article. (Notice, boys, it says he still talks to his parents every day.) That’s because I like to find positive role models in people they know, not that I think athletes automatically serve as positive role models. You’d have to be a fool to think that these days.

On cue, enter the greatest golfer ever and, apparently, one of the worst husbands of our era. Tiger Woods has been linked with Jeter in TV commercials and among sports icons because of his reticence and his unmatched skill and desire to win. But if you paid attention, Tiger was never Jeter. Or put it the other way. Jeter was never Tiger. He never bad-mouthed opponents, threw his bat in anger, acted like he was doing the world a favor by being who he was. Jeter never claimed to be perfect. Woods let us believe he was.

While Jeter graced the cover of Sports Illustrated last week, Woods was on the cover of every tabloid in the country. Maybe the world. At last count he was 10 over par in terms of women in his life. That is, one wife, 10 “mistresses,” as the news accounts describe his collection of waitresses and porn stars.

Woods has been named S.I.’s Sportsman of the Year twice, in 1996 and 2000. In 2000, he was honored for being perfect, even too perfect, on the golf course. The writer, Frank DeFord, admitted to wanting to see him lose once in  a while. “We are not mean-spirited, you understand. We love Tiger Woods, it’s only that we are human, and you need human stuff on the golf course.’’

Woods apparently was all too human all along. off the golf course.

There are lessons here. I don’t know what they all are. Probably something about being comfortable with who you are and not worrying about being perfect and living up to others’ expectations. Failure is OK, even necessary. Everybody fails. What’s important is to give your best and not act as if the rules of common decency don’t apply to you. Respect people and what you do for a living. And talk to your parents every day.
 
 Bob can be reached at bob@zestoforange.com

By Michael Kaufman

One of the joys of being a reporter is that every once in a while you get to be present when something historic, important,  or just plain entertaining or exciting happens. Then you get to write about it and spread the information. I had some wonderful experiences as a sportswriter, covering events like the 1969 World Series, the Ali-Frazier fight at Madison Square Garden in 1971, and the 1973 World University Games in Moscow. 

I treasure the pictures I have from my interview with Muhammad Ali at his home. I smile at the memory of an interview with Gordie Howe, then still known as “the Babe Ruth of hockey” because he had scored more goals than anyone else in history. (The advent of curved hockey sticks would soon make his record obsolete, much as steroids helped obliterate the home-run records of Ruth and Hank Aaron.) Howe, a fierce competitor known for his physical strength on the ice, was shy and softspoken throughout the interview. He never finished high school, he said, and always admired people who were able to write well.

Not all the memories are good. There was the time I rushed to attend the  press conference at Bachelors III, the Upper East Side bar owned by Joe Namath, star quarterback of the New York Jets. Namath had been ordered by Pete Rozelle, commissioner of the National Football League, to divest himself of his interest in the place, said to be frequented by “social undersirables.” At the press conference, a defiant Namath tearfully announced his retirement, although a deal was soon worked out that allowed him to keep playing.

But what I remember most about that press conference was how we reporters were packed in like sardines while we waited for it to begin. I was somewhere in the middle of the room, hoping I wouldn’t pass out from lack of oxygen, when Namath walked up to the microphone and began to speak. Suddenly the door at the rear burst open and a television crew led by Howard Cosell began pushing its way forward. Namath waited.

Cosell advanced, using his elbows like a blocker in the Roller Derby, occasionally muttering a half-hearted, “Excuse me,” and leaving a trail of grumbling writers in his wake. “Hey!,” they hollered while ducking to avoid getting hit in the head by cameras and lighting equipment. As Cosell passed by me he stomped squarely on my foot. It hurt a lot and I winced. He paused a moment and looked at my face. Then he looked at my press badge to see my name. When he recognized neither he grunted and moved on. I guess I wasn’t important enough to get even a half-hearted, “Excuse me,” from the bastard (may he rest in peace). The top of my foot was badly bruised and hurt for a week.

So what does all this have to do with the title of this post? It is this: Since leaving sportwsriting for medical writing a couple of decades ago I’ve had similar experiences. Sufficeth to say that some medical specialties have their own Howard Cosells. But most of my experiences have been good….and sometimes they are very good indeed.

That was the case December 4-8 in Boston, where I attended the annual meeting of the American Epilepsy Society (AES). The AES meeting draws several thousand neurologists and other healthcare professionals from around the globe, all dedicated to the prevention, treatment, and cure of epilepsy and its complications.

Much progress has been made in recent years. Advanced imaging technologies have provided new insights into how seizures affect the brain. Breakthrough research has led to new adjunctive drug treatments and innovative devices. In one of the most exciting and well-attended sessions at the AES meeting, findings of a pivotal multicenter trial of an implanted programmable responsive neurostimulator were reported. Findings suggest that this little gizmo is safe and effective in adults with certian types of intractable seizures. It is the first implanted device that is able to detect and abort seizures before they happen.

Ah, but here is the rub. All this progress in epilepsy management has not reached most of the 50 million people around the world, including many of the three million in the United States who have the disorder. The consequences are not insignificant, says Steven C. Schachter, MD, president of the AES, because uncontrolled epilepsy leads to a diminished quality of life and a greater risk of disability and death.

“An astonishing three-quarters of the global population with epilepsy get no treatment whatsoever for their seizures,” says Schachter. And, he adds, “While most patients here in the U.S. receive some form of therapy, there are racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic disparities in access to treatment, surgery in particular, and significant under-diagnosis and treatment of associated complications of mood, memory and cognition.”

Even with the plethora of epilepsy therapies now available, says Schachter, “the CDC estimates that at least 45 percent of people with epilepsy here in the U.S. continue to experience seizures. Complete freedom from seizures is not a possibility for everyone who has epilepsy. But it is important for patients with continuing seizures and their healthcare providers to make every effort toward that goal.”

The heavy toll that undiagnosed, untreated and sub-optimally treated epilepsy imposes on the millions of people with epilepsy in the U.S. and worldwide has led the World Health Organization to raise the international campaign against the disorder to its highest level. Closing the wide gap in treatment will require major efforts on the part of governments, as well as healthcare professionals, affected individuals and family members. But, with people’s lives at stake, says Schachter, there is no other course.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Beth Quinn

Dear 38 Members of the New York Senate Who Voted Against Gay Marriage:

I wrote the following column nearly six years ago, when the Religious Right had a stranglehold on this country and wanted us to Just Say No to Everything.

Alas, it is as pertinent today as it was during the Bush Dark Ages, as you illustrated with your vote last week to prevent gay marriage in New York – a state that, by contrast to places like Tennessee and Alabama, was once considered progressive and grown up.

For those of you backward senators who voted poorly, this column is for you.

Hey, Self-Righteous Prigs,  Quit Meddling

I was going to leave the gay marriage issue alone just to save myself some grief.

But then I thought, what fun would that be? Somebody’s got to irritate the self-righteous folks who tell the rest of us how to live, and it might as well be me. You know who you are, so get your Bibles ready because you’ll want to damn me to hell by the time we’re done here.

For me, there is one central question in the whole gay marriage controversy: What do you care?

What difference does it make in your own life if two gays or lesbians get married? It simply mystifies me that you feel threatened by this. What possible harm could it do in your personal, little life whether the two guys living at the end of your block say “I do”?

I keep hearing the same pat answer from your prophets of doom – that allowing homosexuals to marry will “destroy the institution of marriage.”

Well I gotta’ tell you, a lot of gays and lesbians have been getting married in San Francisco lately, and so far my own institution of marriage is doing just fine. I checked. When I heard they were lining up for licenses, I asked my husband if he felt our marriage was going downhill on account of it. He just ignored the question and wanted to know what kind of perennials I thought we should put in this spring.

I took that as a good sign. Perennials are an investment in the future, so I figure he’s sticking around despite what those homosexuals are doing.

So, self-righteous folks, I guess I’m wondering what’s wrong with your own marriages that you feel so threatened by another couple’s happiness. Are you unable to sustain a good sexual relationship knowing that two gay guys are sleeping together in wedded bliss? Are you unable to have an intimate conversation with your spouse because you’re distracted by the notion of two women going off on a honeymoon?

Because if your marriage is that unstable, you should stop worrying about what others are doing and tend to your own problems before your divorce contributes to the decline of the institution of marriage.

I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve completely failed to come up with ways that gay marriage will have an impact on your life. It won’t raise your taxes. It won’t cause the kid who shovels your driveway to quit. It won’t make your laundry dingy. It won’t alter the weather. It won’t cause your dog to start passing gas. It won’t affect your relationship with God. It won’t cause you to develop a tumor on your head.

Those of you who would talk about grand concepts like society and institutions and pillars and guideposts and moral fibers and whatnot, I say this is just your excuse for meddling. And history has shown us that nothing good ever comes of meddling in other people’s affairs. Every time Christians showed up to mess with heathens, for example, we just ended up with a lot of unhappy heathens with syphilis and smallpox.

Those of you who would point out that the dictionary definition of the word “marriage” involves a man and a woman, let me point out that the dictionary is a living, breathing document that changes as word usage changes. If you doubt it, look up the word “dot” in a current edition.

We the people get to decide what’s in the dictionary. The dictionary doesn’t get to dictate our societal conventions. Your hair isn’t going to catch on fire if the definition of marriage is eventually changed to read, “two consenting adults” instead of “man and woman.”

As for the Bible, which is always the last refuge for those of you who want to impose your will on us savages, we’re not all reading out of the same book.

More fundamentally, the Bible is not a legal document. If it were, those who fail to love one another would be rounded up and thrown in jail. The prison budget would go through the roof what with all the new cells we’d be needing for the neighbor haters.

I have only this advice to offer those of you who oppose gay marriage: Don’t marry a homosexual.

If you’re a man and you don’t want to marry another man, for crying out loud, stick to your guns! That would be a terrible idea. You’d be miserable! Same for women. Marry someone of the opposite sex if that’s your personal preference.

After all, no one’s got the right to meddle in your private affairs.

Note to Readers: Many of you have inquired as to my whereabouts these past few weeks. First of all, thanks for noticing my absence – and for asking. I’ve had to pull back from Zest a bit because my attention is needed elsewhere just now. I plan to make occasional contributions to Zest as the spirit and time move me. Meanwhile, have a great holiday season, a merry Christmas and a healthy, prosperous New Year. – Beth

Beth can be reached at beth@zestoforange.com.