By Michael Kaufman

If you, a friend, or a family member is an older person being treated with antidepressant and/or antipsychotic drugs, this post could save your life.

Seniors who take these drugs during a heatwave are at significantly greater risk of death, according to findings of a recent study presented in May at the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association (APA).

How great is the risk? “Use of any psychotropic drug by people aged 70 to 100 was associated with a 30 percent increased risk of death during the heatwave,” said Clementine Nordon, M.D., of the French National Institute of Health and Medical Research, lead investigator. She was referring to the massive heatwave experienced by Western Europe in August 2003. In France alone there were 15,000 more deaths than had been anticipated under normal weather conditions. Most of the deaths occurred among the elderly.

Nordon and her fellow researchers used information obtained from the French Social Security Insurance national database to compare death rates before, during, and after the 13-day heatwave. More than 23,000 records were analyzed.

“Our findings suggest that a causal relationship may exist between psychotropic drug use during a heatwave and increased risk of death in older people,” she explained. The risk was greatest for those who took more than one drug.

Although the findings were published in the December 2009 issue of the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, they attracted little or no attention in other U.S. medical journals and publications, and were largely ignored by the U.S. mass media. The implications, however, are huge in the U.S. Nowhere in the world do seniors take more antidepressants and antipsychotic drugs.

“The risk/benefit ratio of antidepressant and antipsychotic drugs should be carefully assessed in older people during a heatwave,” said Nordon.

I spoke with Nordon as she stood in front of her “New Research” poster at the APA meeting.  Because of the risks often associated with abrupt stopping of medication, she said patients should consult their physicians before initiating any change in treatment on their own.

If your physician is unaware of Nordon’s study, refer them to the journal article, titled Psychotropic drug use in older people and risk of death during heatwaves: population-based case-control study.

The list of drugs of concern is too long to print here but many of the brand names are familiar. If you or someone you know is a senior being treated for depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, you are probably taking one or more of these drugs…drugs  that put you at 30-percent higher risk of dying during a heatwave. Don’t wait. Talk to your doctor…now!  

FROM THE VIRTUAL MAILBAG—Since this is our first post since the month-long mysterious disappearance of Zest from the internet, we have some catching up to do. Thanks to EDWARD G. of Middletown for his comments on the virtues of bilingualism and the dual-language program being launched in Middletown elementary schools in September. “Our daughters both now work in the health related fields,” he wrote. “And as you said, being bilingual or multilingual gave them an advantage when they entered the workforce as adults.” Edward’s daughters began learning Spanish in elementary school in Middletown, which he said, “led to growth in tolerance and understanding.”

KRIS KERR, director of bilingual education in the Middletown schools, wrote, “Thanks for your blog post about your experience with two-way bilingual education. I will be including some of your words in my power point for the second parent meeting at the Truman Moon school.” Thanks, Kris. Glad to help, especially in these times.

RUSS L. wrote to say he could not attend the peace rally at West Point on graduation day because “I’ll be at my regular Saturday Peace Vigil in Wappingers Falls with Pete Seeger, who is 91 years young, still singing…and… STILL chopping wood!” Russ added that  Pete “is still feisty, always has his banjo…can’t quite hear as well as in his youth, but his mind is as sharp as a tack. He’s got some wonderful stories.”

And AMIE F. wrote to let us know we can download the first 45 episodes of Happiness in the Wind at http://d-addicts.com. “It’s updated every 3 weeks with 15 episodes at a time with English subtitles.” Thanks, Amie. Happiness in the Wind is my favorite of all the Korean dramas, although I have grown quite fond lately of Three Brothers, which airs at 9 p.m. on weekends. Happiness, as I’m sure our readers are aware, is shown weeknights at 9:20 p.m.  Both are on WMBC (Cablevision channel 20). 

Hey, it’s good to be back!

Michael can be reached at Michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

NEW ORLEANS–By the time I’m finished covering the American Psychiatric Association (APA) annual meeting I think I’m going to need to see a psychiatrist.  I should do it while I’m still here since there are thousands to choose from, running the gamut from members of the Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists (AGLP) to the psychiatry branch of the Christian Medical Association (CMA).

In a delicious bit of irony those two groups were assigned adjacent tables in the exhibit hall, where they are surrounded by far more elaborate booths promoting the wares of pharmaceutical companies large and small. An uneasy truce prevails between the Christians and gays. “We’re here for them,” says Dr. Rosa Lewis of the CMA about the homosexuals next door. “The love of God is for everyone.” Behind her is a CMA banner bearing their slogan, “Changing Hearts in Healthcare.”

“They’re all very polite,” says Dr. Jack Drescher of his Christian neighbors. He agreed that politeness is preferable to the “Torquemada approach.” Drescher says the specialty of psychiatry has come a long way since homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual’s list of officially recognized mental illnesses in 1973. “Opening Minds” is the motto of the AGLP.

Both groups offer books for sale. The CMA seeks to open hearts with titles like Jesus MD: A Doctor Examines the Great Physician and Could it Be This Simple? A Biblical Model for Healing the Mind. The AGLP hopes to open minds with the likes of Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man and Uncoupling Convention: Psychoanalytic Approaches to Same Sex Couples and Families. Both groups invited me to attend some of their APA convention activities. 

I decided to pass up the CMA breakfast meeting on “The Christian Legacy in Psychiatry.” It cost $20 and the people I’m covering the APA meeting for aren’t paying my expenses. Besides, I wanted to have breakfast at Mother’s. I also passed up an invitation to a three-hour seminar on “The Role of the Psychiatrist within the Church.” I’d have felt like an interloper. But I accepted the invitation to attend the AGLP reception at the Renaissance Arts Hotel in the warehouse district, where I was told there would be free hors d’oeuvres and a cash bar.

Also looking a bit like a fish out of water amongst the glitzy exhibits is the table promoting the National Death Index (NDI), a project of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). While other exhibitors offer free gelato, lattes, Dippin’ Dots ice cream, and beignets to attract visitors, all the NDI offers is information and a plea to healthcare providers to report the deaths of any patients they have been treating and the medications the patients were taking. This will help the CDC identify risks that may be associated with certain medications. The table hasn’t attracted much traffic.

Upon my arrival at the convention hall I was greeted by a noisy group of more than 100 demonstrators chanting, “Don’t drug our kids, don’t harm our kids, leave our kids alone!” They carried placards with photos of some of the leading researchers and clinicians who treat patients with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Beneath the photos was the amount of money these doctors have received from pharmaceutical companies in the form of grant support, speaker fees, advisory board participation, etc.

Dr. Joseph Biederman of Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital topped the list at $4 million. A few years ago I had the opportunity to work on educational projects with Biederman as well as the others who were singled out on the placards. I happen to agree with the general point made by the demonstrators regarding the questionable ethics and undue influence of the pharmaceutical industry. However, I could not help but be impressed by the dedication of Biederman and his colleagues to help children and adolescents with severe mental illnesses. We are not talking about your garden variety ADHD here. These patients and their families live tormented lives.

 
The demonstrators also carried placards bearing photos of young people who committed suicide while being treated for depression. Under each photo was the name, year of birth and year of death. At first my heart went out to the people who carried the photos, who I assumed were family members. But I noticed something odd when I tried to interview the participants. No one would speak to me. With friendly smiles they referred me to one of the marshals of the sponsoring organization, the Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR). When I tried talking to the marshal, he smiled knowingly and took me to meet a “spokesperson.” She politely told me she would be happy to speak with me…later, at the opening of the group’s “History of Psychiatry Traveling Exhibit” at the Riverwalk Marketplace. When I got to the press room I learned from friends that the CCHR is the creation of the Scientology cult. Calling this anti-science group Scientology is like calling an ugly housing project built in a formerly green space “Liberty Green.”

No big medical specialty meeting would be complete without the appearance of a celebrity motivational speaker. The APA had two: Carrie Fisher and Terry Bradshaw. Fisher spoke Monday night at the annual Convocation. “Having waited my entire life to get an award for something, anything (okay fine, not acting, but what about a tiny award for writing? Nope), I now get awards all the time for being mentally ill,” she quipped. “I’m apparently very good at it and am honored for it regularly.”

She looked and sounded terrible as she cracked wise about seeing “shrinks” almost continuously since she was a teenager, the troubled daughter of celebrity parents Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds. She spoke of her battles with drug and alcohol addiction and depression, and of the help she has received from talk therapy, drug therapy, and electroconvulsive therapy, which she said, gets a bad rap. Some shrinks were not impressed and walked out on her narcissistic monologue. Others laughed and applauded.

Bradshaw, former football great and current broadcaster, was featured in the APA’s ninth annual Conversations event, funded by Astra-Zeneca. He told of how he developed clinical depression after being labeled a dunce because of his slow drawl and the accusation that he was too dumb to read defenses when he started out as a quarterback in the National Football League. Following his successful treatment, he began to talk publicly about his experience to help fight the stigma attached to mental illness and to encourage others who are suffering to get help. 

A loop of Bradshaw talking about his experience ran repeatedly in the exhibit area. After hearing the same message all afternoon, a sales rep at a nearby exhibitor’s booth said, “Hey, I love Terry Bradshaw. I’m from Alabama and I’m a big football fan. But come on, Terry, get over it already. It’s been years!”

The AGLP members greeted me warmly at their reception, which featured music by a trio of elderly jazz musicians and an aging female vocalist. But food was scarce and the drinks at the cash bar were a little pricey so I headed to another event to which I’d been invited by a representative of a company called Practice Fusion, which offers “free, web-based electronic health records.” This one was at Mulate’s restaurant and bar near the convention center, which features traditional New Orleans food, and there was a nice little buffet and free drinks.

Practice Fusion promises fast set-up and no downtime…and you can switch your practice over in an afternoon. So if you are a medical practitioner and you aren’t pleased with your current record-keeping system, you might want to give them a call.

Maybe George Weiss, the old baseball general manager, was right after all when he snorted, “Sportswriters! You can buy them with a steak.” I’ll have to ask my shrink about that.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

When President Obama visits West Point Saturday to address the graduating Cadets and their proud families, he will also be greeted by a large crowd of anti-war protesters disappointed with both his failure to bring our troops home from Iraq and escalation of the ongoing war in Afghanistan. The Orange County Democratic Alliance, led by Goshen attorney Michael Sussman, is co-sponsor of the pro-peace rally, which is expected to draw citizens–including veterans and members of military families–from neighboring counties and states. “Our voices must be louder if peace is to prevail,” said Sussman. “We will march and engage in peaceful protest against continued occupation of foreign lands while our priorities at home
remain largely unattended.” The rally will begin at 10 a.m. at Veterans Memorial Park in High Falls.

Some are sure to regard the demonstration as an annoying intrusion on a day set aside for celebrating the achievements of the graduates. But Sussman and his fellow peace acitivists, many of whom voted for Obama in the last presidential election, see the event as an opportunity to let the president know that he will be held accountable for the continuation of the failed policies of the Bush administration.

There was never a legitimate justification to invade Iraq and cause widespread devastation and death (unless you think oil is a good enough reason). Iraq had no connection to the September 11 attacks, no weapons of mass destruction aimed our way, no Al Quaeda terrorists. But Al Quaeda has adherents there now, surely in part because of actions carried out in our name like those seen in this link:

http://www.collateralmurder.com/

Remember when we were told how great it was going to be for women in Afghanistan after we helped the people there get rid of the Taliban? Thanks to us, women would be allowed to attend schools and pursue professions as equal members of society, free of the restraints imposed on them by the tenets of Muslim fundamentalism. Ironically, there was a brief period in recent history when this actually took occurred. But it was when Afghanistan had a pro-Soviet government so our leaders decided to help the Taliban attain power and rid Afghanistan of Russian influence. Why was Afghanistan important to us then and why is it important now, even when we know that Osama bin Laden isn’t hiding there anymore? Did I hear someone say “Oil?” Go to the head of the class. Funny, we never invaded Saudi Arabia to help the women gain equality there.

I wish President Obama would come to West Point and tell the graduates what President Eisenhower said in his farewell address to the American people on January 17, 1961. Noting the development of a “permanent armaments industry of vast proportions” in the years following World War II, Eisenwhower, a West Point graduate and honored general, warned of its implications. “This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience…we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence…by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.”

And I wish President Obama would tell them about Major General Smedley Butler of the U.S. Marine Corps, who was at the time of his death in 1940 the most decorated Marine in U.S. history. During his 34 years as a Marine, Butler took part in military actions in the Philippines, China, Central America and the Caribbean, and served in France during World War I. His book, War Is a Racket, described the workings of the military-industrial complex of his day:

“I spent 33 years and four months in active military service and during that period I spent most of my time as a high-class thug for Big Business, for Wall Street and the bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism. I helped make Mexico and especially Tampico safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street. I helped purify Nicaragua for the International Banking House of Brown Brothers in 1902-1912. I brought light to the Dominican Republic for the American sugar interests in 1916. I helped make Honduras right for the American fruit companies in 1903. In China in 1927 I helped see to it that Standard Oil went on its way unmolested. Looking back on it, I might have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents.”

And then I wish President Obama would quote Winston Churchill: “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” But he won’t….and that is why the Orange County Democratic Alliance members and others will be rallying for peace Saturday near the gates at West Point.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

Amid the misplaced anger and hatred directed at Spanish-speaking immigrants in some parts of the country, comes some refreshing news from Middletown. Starting in September, elementary schools in the city will begin offering a dual-language program to up to 88 lucky kindergarten students. The program, funded through a four-year federal grant, will bring together in one classroom an equal mix of English-speaking and Spanish-speaking children.

Lessons will be taught in English one day and Spanish the next. Although this may seem like a tall order for small children unfamiliar with the other language, the program has proved to be an educational success in other districts, including Engelewood, NJ, where two of my daughters took part when they were little.

According to Kristin Kerr, director of bilingual and English as a second language (ESL) programs for the Middletown schools, learning to think and express themselves in two languages helps students develop higher-level thinking skills. “If you are bilingual,” says Kerr, “you have the ability to flex your thinking for problem solving.” Sadly, this is now something of a novel approach to education thanks to “No Child Left Behind” and it’s over emphasis on teaching students how to pass standardized tests rather than to think independently.

Middletown and Newburgh are the only two districts in Orange County that offer the program, which is now in its second year at the West Street School in Newburgh. Lillian Torres, principal of the West Street School, says the first-grade students there are now able to speak, read and write in both languages. “We’ve really got to look at it as ‘gifted and talented,’” she says.

“This is a benefit for any kid and all kids,” adds Kerr. Being bilingual or multilingual will give them an advantage when they enter the workforce as adults. Bilingual programs, as opposed to traditional ESL programs that target only Spanish-speaking students, result in superior academic performance in both languages, explains Jane Briggs, of the NY State Education Department. As a parent of two English-speaking children who benefited from the program in Englewood, I can vouch for the accuracy of this statement and also mention a few other advantages.

For one thing, the children will instinctively help one another learn the language that is new to them. They will forge lasting friendships with children from other ethnic and cultural backgrounds. (Whenever our daughters are anywhere near Englewood they visit their favorite Colombian bakery to pick up a few empanadas and bunuelos.) Equally important, they have both continued to excel in Spanish (and other languages) in high school and college.  

In Englewood the program started in pre-kindergarten, where there were two teachers. An African-American Muslim woman taught the classes conducted in English. A Spanish-speaking white Jewish woman taught the Spanish-language classes. Their close relationship with one another, and the loving attention they gave to all the students, inspired both children and parents alike. Indeed, we still keep in touch.

When school budget cuts led to a shortage of computers in the Englewood elementary schools, no shortage occurred in the dual-language classes because they were funded separately. This could prove to be another advantage for Middletown parents considering the program for their children.

The program will be offered at both the Chorley Elementary and Truman Moon Primary Schools. Parents have recently been notified that they must submit their children’s names to be eligible for inclusion. If you live in the Middletown school district and have a child who will be entering kindergarten at one of those schools this year, I suggest you submit their names as quickly as possible. 

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

This is a message for all those tea party people who get upset when people call the tea partiers racists: If you are not a racist, why doesn’t it seem to bother you that you have racists in your movement? Why don’t you condemn the racists in your midst or at least dissociate yourselves from them? They give your movement a bad name…or don’t you care?

You can’t tell us they aren’t there. We see their signs and placards–racist images, misspellings and all–whenever we see pictures of your rallies in the newspapers and on TV…even on Fox News. Maybe you see them too. Maybe they don’t bother you so much.

Did it bother you when you saw your fellow tea partiers shouting the “n-word” at United States Representative John Lewis (D-GA) as he walked to the Capitol building during the debate on health care reform? That gave me a chill because I remember what happened to him in Selma when he marched for civil rights in the 1960s. Maybe you don’t remember.

I guess Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck, Mark Levin, et al, don’t remember either. Or they just don’t care. You know, “they” use that n-word a lot themselves in their rap music so what’s the big deal if white people use it once in a while? Chris Rock answers that question a lot better than I can. So if you ever feel like taking a break from talk radio and Fox News some time, check out his explanation on Youtube:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HMRN__XOYA

After you’re done watching Chris Rock, I suggest you work on your spelling. The Christian Science Monitor recently ran some photos from tea party rallies around the country that made lovers of good language cringe. Ironically, a lot of the signs that butchered the English language were carried by white folks who don’t like the idea that some people in this country speak Spanish. A sign calling on Americans to “boycott Mexico” proclaimed. “Respect Are-Country Speak English”

One sign denounced health-care reform, calling it, “One Hugh Mistake.” Another announced, “Not An Extremist, Just Extremey Overtaxed!!! No Amesty.” “Feedom Doesn’t Come Free,” said a placard held by a white teenager. A patriotic white man wearing a hat and shirt that was red, white, and blue with white stars, was captured in the midst of writing his masterpiece: “Birth Certifict Where Obama…”

A smiling young blonde woman held a sign that declared, “Obama Has a Crisis of Competnce.” Another demanded, “Repeel Congress.” And last but not least was a sign that said, “Thank You Fox News for Keeping Us Infromed.” You can see the whole appalling display at http://www.csmonitor.com/CSM-Photo-Galleries/In-Pictures/Copyediting-Tea-Party-protest-signs

But frankly I am far more appalled at the racism than the bad spelling. Not long ago I received an email from Dr. Michael Franzblau, who provided details about the health-care system in Nazi Germany for a recent post. Dr. Franzblau is a hero of mine. He lost 25 relatives on one horrific day during World War II. Nazis locked his family members in their synagogue in Poland, set it on fire and shot those who tried to escape. “I live with the thought of the Holocaust every single day of my life,” says the retired dermatologist.

Years later, during research on medical ethics, Franzblau stumbled upon the case of Hans Sewering, a German doctor and Nazi SS member, who helped implement Hitler’s plan for a master race by sending 900 disabled children from the sanitarium where he worked to a killing center. Dr. Franzblau made it his life’s mission to bring Sewering to justice and he led a successful campaign to force Sewring’s resignation after he was inexplicably named president of the World Medical Association. “I see this man as embodying everything evil that ever took place in my lifetime, as his behavior as a doctor,” said Franzblau.

So when Michael Franzblau has something to say, I pay attention. And here is what he wrote about the racism of some tea partiers and those who use images of President Obama with a Hitler mustache to protest health-care reform: “Joseph Goebbels would be delighted with the dangerous distortion of the facts concerning the truth about Nazism. I am 83 and a veteran of WWII. I never thought that overt attacks on people of color would be tolerated again in the United States.”

But tolerated they are, especially by the personalities at Fox News, who do such a wonderful job of keeping their viewers “infromed.”

Michael can be reached at Michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

The people who hijacked my email account last week got a virtual earful from some of my friends. I’ll share a few of their responses in a moment, but first a word about Jolly Widows, the Korean soap opera, which ended its run last week, and its successor, Happiness in the Wind, which began its run Tuesday night on cable channel WMBC.

Frankly, I am beginning with this subject and putting the title in the headline for one simple reason. Fans of the Korean soap operas (I prefer to call them “dramas”) will find Zestoforange when they do a Google search that includes the title of the show. This can help us pick up some new readers. I know this because of an email I got this week about Jolly Widows:

Hi Michael,
I came across your blog! Did you see the final episode? What did you think?  I was so torn!!!! This soap was as good as The Long Road Home and You Are My Destiny – quite possibly better!!! I have a question. Do you know if there’s a way to order the soundtrack? Also I can’t wait for the new soap!!
Thanks,
RM

I replied truthfully that I had never seen You Are My Destiny but I loved The Long Road Home and Jolly Widows. I was ambivalent about the final episode of Jolly Widows because I could never forgive Mrs. Na for the way she had treated Suhyeon and Jinwu while she was trying to keep Mr. Kang from recovering his memory, or for conspiring with Cheol to force Nayun to marry him against her will. As far as I’m concerned Mr. Kang should have gone back to his old family and Najeong could have stayed with Mrs. Na. She could have still  had frequent visitation with her grandmother, father, sister, and cousins! Yunjeong deserved better for all she went through…even if the ending implied that she and Junwu would be getting back together.

Like RM, I couldn’t wait for the new one to begin….but when we tuned in Thursday night there was a documentary about the discovery of an ancient sword found buried under a sidewalk in Seoul during a construction project in 1975. Fascinating as it was, I was disappointed. When would the new drama begin? Not Friday night. They showed a documentary highlighting the heroic resistance waged by Korean guerilla fighters against the Japanese invaders in 1906. (That one was fascinating too.) Monday? No dice: They showed part two of the Friday documentary (not so fascinating).

By Tuesday morning I couldn’t take it anymore. I called the WMBC headquarters in Newton, NJ, and asked the woman who answered the phone if she could tell me when the series that will replace Jolly Widows will begin.

“Jolly Widows? Hold on, please…” I was kept on hold for at least as long as when I called the unemployment office last year. I hung up without getting through, assuming that WMBC was swamped with callers asking the same question.

And our question was answered that night. Happiness in the Wind is on the air! I love it already. You can find it on Cablevision channel 20 Monday through Friday from 9:20 to 10 p.m. (Some clips from Jolly Widows can be found on Youtube.)

Okay, so last week my Yahoo email account was hacked by the so-called Russian Mafia and everyone on my address list received an email purporting to be from me, stranded in the UK and asking for money. Replies went directly to the hackers, who responded in my name. When Hal Davis, once a classmate of mine at SUNY New Paltz, posed a question that only I would be able to answer, the fake me responded, “I have been anticipating your reply…it s been a hell of a day,  just believing God for a miracle.” Then followed instructions to wire $920 via Western Union to an address in Bristol, England. Hal, a veteran newspaperman, was not fooled. He knows I’m an agnostic Jew who doesn’t expect miracles from God.

“You think i will seeking assistance from you if this was not serious?” they replied to Peter Knobler and Mikhail Horowitz when they couldn’t answer their questions. “Asking you to send the money to me directly is enough proof…” Mikhail had some sharp words for them, which he thought better of sending. But you can hear sharp words from him in person starting at 2 p.m. Saturday (April 17) when he joins Ed Sanders for a poetry reading at The Gallery at R&F Handmade Paints, 84 Ten Broeck Avenue, Kingston (for directions call 800-206-8088 or 845-331-3112).

Tony Seymour had some poetry of his own for the hackers (adapted here for publication):

“Listen up……whoever the [BLEEP] you are…….send me one more answer and its going directly to the US ATTORNEY general,  ya dig!!! get the [BLEEP] out of my friend’s accounts you little TWERP ASSED MOTHER[BLEEPER]!” He signed it, “Poet, Tony Seymour.” (You can find Tony reading his “rocket poetry” to Jeff Beck’s music on Youtube.)

My brother was not fooled by the hackers but he emailed me to say he thought “the part about losing the passport and wallet gave it all a personal touch of authenticity.” I wonder what he meant by that.

“Emairjancy, Emairjancy,” wrote Jack Radey, “everyone is to get from strit!! ” That was Jack’s way of letting me know he wasn’t fooled.  But then he added,  “Come on, Michael, fess up, at your age you actually DID lose your credit cards, command of the English language, and good sense.” I refuse to dignify that with a reply.

Don’t forget to tune in tonight to Happiness in the Wind.

Michael can be reached at Michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank you for your concern. As you have probably figured out by now I did not make a “quick trip to the UK” nor did I lose a bag that contained my passport and credit cards. Someone (I’m told it’s the “Russian Mafia”) has hacked into my email account and sent everyone on my address list a bogus message.

“I know this may sound odd,” I supposedly wrote, “but it all happened very fast. I’ve been to the US embassy and they’re willing to help me fly without my passport but I just have to pay for my ticket and settle some bills. Right now I’m out of cash and my credit cards all gone.” (Right there you can tell it isn’t me. I would have written, “…my credit cards are all gone.”)

“I have contacted my bank but the process of getting new cards is far too long. I’m just gonna have to plead with you to lend me some funds right now?” (Hah!  Anyone who knows me  would know I would never put a question mark there.)

“I’ll pay back as soon as I get home.” (Excuse me, Mr. Russian Mafia guy but didn’t you mean to write,“I’ll pay you back as soon as I get home?”) “I need to get on the next available flight home.” (A little redundant are we, da?)
 
“Please reply as soon as you get this message so I can forward the details as to where to send the funds. You can reach me via the hotel’s desk phone if you can, the number is, 011447135987030.” (If anyone actually called this number, please let me know what happened.)

“I await your response…you can reach me via my alternate email (michael10990@aol.com) as am logged onto AOL via my black berry.” (Nooooooo, you cannot. That is not my alternate email address and I don’t own a “black berry.”)

Those who replied to the fake email address seeking verification received this reply: “Asking you to send the funds to me directly is enough proof you really want to assist..am sorry i wont let  you put me through all this crap all in the name of wanting to help…do you have an idea of what i have been through already..Never mind..thanks for trying to help though…i appreciate.” (There, that should convince the skeptics. Kaufman is just the kind of guy that asks his friends  and relatives for money and then accuses THEM of putting him through crap.)

To add a touch of authenticity, the email ends,  “Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry” (No “black berry” and no “Verizon Wireless BlackBerry” either. I have enough trouble just figuring out how to use my cell phone.)

Unlike the ubiquitous “Nigerian” scams, this one isn’t mainly about getting people to send money. The “Russian Mafia” is looking for email addresses that will lead them to big bank accounts….and to the big banks themselves. That’s where they do their real hacking. So they come to the wrong guy when they picked on me.

But for the time being they have wiped out all my saved incoming and sent email messages. Feel free to write to me here at Zest if you don’t know the real alternate address. I’ll keep you posted. Dasvadanya!

Michael can be reached at Michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

CINCINNATI (April 1) — Procter & Gamble announced plans today to launch a new personal hygiene product based on the long-term success of the company’s Head & Shoulders line. The new product will be identical to Head & Shoulders shampoo, but will be marketed as body wash under the name Buttocks and Genitals, said Robert (Bob) McDonald, company CEO.

The body wash will be packaged in smaller containers than the shampoo and sold at a higher price. Different packaging will be used to target male or female consumers and the product for women will be priced higher. “We expect this to be a blockbuster,” said McDonald, who said the company conducted extensive market research and rigorous clinical studies before moving forward with the launch.

“Our research showed that consumers will readily pay more to get less,” he explained. “Just look at the shelves at your local supermarket. Remember when there was enough tuna in a can to make sandwiches for two or three people? Nowadays a can of tuna is so small you’re lucky to get one sandwich out of it. But I don’t complain and I don’t hear anyone else complain either.”

McDonald noted that the pharmaceutical industry has also found it profitable to use the technique. “When Merck found out that men taking Proscar to treat prostate cancer grew new hair, they marketed smaller amounts of the active ingredient in Proscar as Propecia … and charged more for it. It just makes good business sense.”

Thousands of consumers took part in the Buttocks & Genitals clinical trials, which compared the new product with other leading body washes. Participants were randomly assigned to use Buttocks & Genitals and a different product to wash one or the other butt cheek. Validated questionnaires were used to determine consumer satisfaction with each product. Significantly more participants agreed with the statement, “My buttocks feel clean and fresh” after using Buttocks & Genitals. The findings were similar for men and women of all ages, races, sexual orientation and political persuasion.

“Only two participants withdrew before completion of the study,” said McDonald, “but the withdrawals were deemed not related to the products. Both were members of the ‘tea party’ movement and they just couldn’t find their buttocks with both hands.” Trials involving the genitals are currently under way, with interim findings indicating a trend in favor of Buttocks & Genitals.

A massive advertising campaign will accompany the launch, culminating in a Super Bowl ad featuring the cast of The West Wing. Zest of Orange has obtained an advance copy of the ad, which opens with the president somberly addressing a cabinet meeting. “I think the time has come for America to address the canal problem.” “The Panama Canal?” asks a cabinet member. “No,” says the president. “The Suez Canal?” asks another. “No,” replies the president, “I mean the anogenital canal!”

Michael can be reached at Michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

Results of a new Harris poll reveal just how successful the hatemongers of the far right have been in influencing the thinking of rank and file Republicans. High percentages of Republicans polled agreed with statements that President Obama is “racist,” “anti-American,” “wants the terrorists to win,” and “wants to turn the sovereignty of the United States to a one-world government.” Many agreed that the president is a “domestic enemy,” the same term used by Marine Lance Corporal Kody Bittingham last year in his letter of intent to assassinate the president. Bittingham called his plan “Operation Patriot.”

I was particularly struck by the news that 38 percent of Republicans agree that Obama is “doing many of the things that Hitler did.”  The attempt to link Obama with Hitler came to the fore early in the “tea party” events and in the organized disruptions of local town hall meetings on health care. When followers of Lyndon LaRouche came to Warwick last year to petition against health care reform, their heavy handed use of Nazi imagery, including a doctored photo depicting Obama arm in arm with the Nazi Fuhrer, sparked outrage among many local residents. But many others gladly signed their petitions, donated money, and honked their horns in approval as they drove by. Robert Krahulik, a leading Republican honcho in Warwick, was compelled to write a letter to the editor of one of the local weekly newspapers denying a link to the activities. Another letter is in order now.

Let us be clear: Whether one agrees or disagrees with health care reform, the likening of Obama’s policies to Hitler’s is so outrageous as to be almost beyond words. Not surprisingly, the less-educated the Republican, the more likely he is to agree with the preposterous statements. Thus, a brief lesson on health care in Hitler’s Germany seems worthwhile. Thanks to Michael J. Franzblau, M.D., for providing the information that follows.

By the time Hitler came to power in 1933 there were already 23 chairs of “racial hygiene” in German Universities. As early as 1908 one of the “fathers” of the racial hygiene theory, Dr. Eugen Fischer, became so  concerned that German settlers in West Africa were cohabiting with native women and producing babies of mixed race that he got the German government to revoke the citizenship rights of the German settlers. He also published an article suggesting that the children were basically inferior and should be given only the barest of economic support, with the hope that they would die. Fischer would go on to play a significant role in the continuing evolution of racial hygiene and its place in German  health care for the next 30 years.

Under Hitler, racial hygiene became the basis for many laws. The first, passed in 1933, required all members of the federal government to be Aryans. All Jews who held government jobs had to leave public service.  The second was the Law for the Prevention of Genetically Diseased Offspring. It mandated the sterilization of all Aryan Germans who had schizophrenia, bipolar-disorder, Huntington’s Chorea, intractable epilepsy, chronic alcoholism, or “asocial behavior” (opposition to the Nazi Party). The basis for the law was “negative eugenics,” a plan to discourage procreation among those who were viewed as a threat to the purity of the sacred German germplasm.

All physicians were required to report patients meeting the criteria to a central authority. Loyal Nazi physicians sitting on genetic health courts then ordered the sterilizations. Approximately 250 of these courts were established. The sterilizations were carried out in local hospitals throughout Germany (with no record of opposition from the German Medical Association). The program lasted six years, during which 400,000 Aryan Germans were sterilized and 2,000 died. The program ended in 1939 in spite of the pleas of Fischer and other racial hygienists that it not stop until approximately 15 percent of the Germans were sterilized.

Next came the infamous Nuremburg laws to ensure racial purity, one of which forbade Aryans to have sexual relations with Jews.  German physicians became expert witnesses and some made a good living testifying as to the racial origins of their clients on the basis of physiognomy. This became a subject in medical schools and in continuing medical education courses for German doctors.

A national campaign was instituted to encourage more Aryan births. As an incentive, any woman giving birth to eight or more children was awarded a gold medal; if she gave birth to six she received a silver medal; and for four, a bronze.

Meanwhile, as Hitler and his cronies planned for the conquest of Europe, they worried that there would be inadequate hospital facilities to care for wounded German soldiers. Hence was born the T-4 Program, so named because it was drafted at Tiergartenstrasse 4. T-4 was a carefully conceived plan to kill all inmates in German mental institutions who could not work for the Fatherland.  The phrases “Useless Eaters” and “Lives Not Worth Living” were effectively used to convince the medical profession, and the general public, that this form of “euthanasia” was in the best interest of the nation. In addition, Aryan German children with severe birth defects or disabilities were included in the program.

Organization of the T-4 program required the resources of the national German government, local health officers and physicians generally, who had to report the mental patients or children who met the criteria. The decision to kill the adults was made in Berlin by three eminent psychiatrists reviewing questionnaires sent to them from all over Germany. The children were selected in the same manner by three pediatricians.

The program was well planned. Six “Healing Centers” were established throughout Germany. Transportation by bus or rail was provided. The methods of killing included starvation, phenol and alcohol cardiac injections, and carbon monoxide gas delivered in hermetically sealed rooms built to simulate shower rooms. Volunteer physicians were involved in the process at every step of the way.

When the T-4 program ended, 400,000 inmates of mental institutions were killed, as were between 70,000 and 200,000 children. Heinrich Himmler, who as head of the S.S. was responsible for the programs, was pleased.

The T-4 program can be viewed as the research and development program for the mass exterminations of Jews and others in concentration camps in Poland and Germany that followed. Many of the same physicians, nurses, and technicians who participated in the T-4 Program were transferred to the East in the early 1940’s to use their skills in mass extermination.

Any comparison between these Nazi atrocities and health care reform in the United States is obscene. Anyone who says President Obama is doing “many of the things that Hitler did” is an uneducated moron. The Harris poll tells us there are a lot of them out there.  I wonder how many have guns.

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.

By Michael Kaufman

Before Jim Bunning became the “Republican moron from Kentucky” –as Bob Gaydos aptly described him in a recent Zest post–he was one hell of a major league pitcher.  Bunning was the first man since the legendary Cy Young to win more than 100 games and strike out more than 1,000 batters in both leagues.  When he retired in 1971 his 2,855 career strikeouts were second only to Walter Johnson’s 3,508.

In 1957 he was a 20-game winner with the American League Detroit Tigers, for whom he pitched from 1955-1963. After a disappointing 1963 season the Tigers traded him, along with veteran catcher Gus Triandos, to the Phildelphia Phillies for pitcher Jack Hamilton and outfielder Don Demeter. Hamilton and Demeter accomplished little with the Tigers. Bunning went on to assure his place in the Hall of Fame.

In 1965 he topped the National League in shutouts with five and he led the league in that department again in 1967 with six. He was a 19-game winner for three straight years, 1964-1966.

I still have my ticket stub from June 21, 1964, when he pitched a perfect game for the Phillies against the New York Mets on a sunny Fathers Day afternoon at Shea Stadium. At 33  he was in the midst of his first season in the National League.  In the late innings the crowd was roaring on every pitch. Mets fans had little to cheer about in those days but on this day they were rooting for Bunning to finish pitching the first perfect game in the National League in 84 years.

When it was over we stood and cheered, “We want Bunning!” Minutes went by but he and his teammates had long disappeared into the dressing room. “We want Bunning!” we chanted even louder. No one left the stadium. Finally, after a few minutes more, he emerged from the dugout and acknowledged our cheers.

Bunning was no right-wing yahoo back then. A graduate of Xavier University in Cincinnati, where he received a bachelor’s degree in economics, he was a leading force in the Major League Players’ Association and served on the union’s Pension Committee. His degeneration into someone who would block the extension of unemployment benefits to hundreds of thousands of jobless American workers is an embarrassment even to his fellow Republicans.

FROM THE VIRTUAL MAILBAG — Thanks to Jack and Peter for their comments on last week’s post. “As significant in the situation as the casual anti-Semitism of the local sports organization (no one would play games on Sunday, or Christian holidays, lesser incorrect religions of course cannot be similarly accommodated) is the fact that Orthodox Judaism, fasting, religious holidays, religion in general and its rules and conventions are all (expletive deleted) and should not be allowed to be taught to/imposed on children,” wrote Jack. “I mean, if a Sikh institution has a team, will their players be allowed to carry iron knives in the game?  It’s part of their religion, after all.  I can’t wait for the Islamic Fundamentalist High School Houris wanting to play basketball in full chador…” Don’t hold back, Jack.

“Good for the girls,” wrote Peter.  “What is the matter with people, anyway?  Make nothing into a big deal.  Those kids showed so much class.” Thanks, Peter, and as Ted Mack used to say, “Keep those cards and letters coming in.”

Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.