J. D.’s Lost Weekend

J.D. Vance

    J.D. Vance

By Bob Gaydos

J.D. Vance never had a chance.

From Budapest to Islamabad,

the cards were stacked

in advance.

 

He campaigned for Viktor Orban,

a fool’s errand to be sure.

Bringing Trump’s blessing to a similar man

whose people had had more than enough.

“It takes one to know one!” cried the Hungarians.

Their anger was pure, their answer tough.

“Be gone, oh messenger of gloom.

And Orban, go to your room.”

 

Onward pressed Vance,

with a war to be won or at least settled or ended … or somethinged.

Off to Pakistan to meet

with some men from Iran.

As a writer of fiction parading as truth,

he seemed the perfect man.

Forsooth!

 

But the men from Iran refused to surrender.

This meeting would be no war ender.

They stuck to their guns, their missiles, their drones

and their Strait of Hormuz.

They were winning a war

Vance said they were s’posed to lose.

 

What to do? What to do?

Jared, what say you?

Your father-in-law won’t be pleased

if the fire hasn’t been ceased.

Nothing. … Nothing?

After a long day of talking,

the negotiations

officially ceased.

 

Daunted but unbowed by his lack

of good news,

J.D. returned home …

to a chorus of boos.

From, of all people, the Catholics, his adopted faith brethren.

They were saying he should go to a place

that wasn’t called Heaven.

It seems they were angry

that this eyelinered mope

had rubber-stamped Trump in threatening …

The Pope!

 

Ex-communicate this sinner! The social media sites clamored!

A hillbilly phony pretending again!

They were not enamored.

 

And so it went for J.D.,

a lost weekend

with no sleep.

For the Bible says,

and as he should know:

Whatever the dateline,

You shall reap as you sow.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply