By Shawn Dell Joyce

New York is near the top of the list of states in terms of depressed residents. Much of this holiday malaise can be traced to a sagging economy and unrealistic holiday expectations. A parents’ group, the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, wrote letters to 24 leading toy companies and retailers to state their concern about ads aimed at kids. These parents expressed dismay that they can’t afford the pricey toys that toymakers are heavily advertising to children, and said children feel diminished when they don’t get those pricey toys.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that we are descended from settlers’ children who rejoiced at receiving a penny and a stick of candy as their main holiday gifts. In the 1800’s, people earned $1,500 per year and would have had one nice set of clothes for church, and one shabby set for daily life. They worked twice as hard for a simple diet because they had to grow most of what they ate. Over the course of 200-plus years, we have grown an average of 4 inches taller and 20 pounds heavier, our houses have more than doubled in square footage, and we no longer delight in a penny and a stick of candy.

We need to reclaim our holidays as times of family togetherness and joy, no matter what shape the economy is in. Even if you don’t celebrate the Christian holiday, or the Jewish Hannukah, or African Kwanzaa, you can still celebrate a “Secular Sabbath,” in the words of New York Times food columnist Mark Bittman. A secular Sabbath is a break from email, cell phones, television, and all the other distractions of modern living that keep us alienated from each other.

“You need not be elderly to remember when we had no choice but to reduce activity on Sundays; stores and offices — even restaurants — were closed, there were certainly no electronics, and we were largely occupied by ourselves or our families,” writes Bittman.

Here are some inexpensive  ways to get more joy from the holiday season:

—  Find joy in the mundane moments. Notice the details of the season, new fallen snow, laughing children off from school, glittering icicles and the sparkle of a lit tree.

— Avoid comparing your decorated house with your neighbors or your co-worker’s holiday plans with your own and so forth. Instead of comparing, which is almost always unfavorable, be genuinely glad for your fellows, delight in their joy, and you in turn will feel greater satisfaction.

— Bring holiday cheer to neighbors by baking cookies and then delivering them. No neighbors? Drop in at the Montgomery Nursing Home or another near you.

— Put gratitude in your attitude. Start your holidays off with a gratitude list noting all the wonderful tangible and intangible blessings you have in your life. Counting your blessings will keep you focused more on what you do have

— Keep the spirit of the holidays in your heart all year. Remember to give often and generously. Make volunteerism part of your daily routine. Research indicates that both the giver and the receiver of a good deed get an endorphin boost from the act.

Shawn Dell Joyce is an award-winning columnist and founder of the Wallkill River School in Montgomery. Shawn@zestoforange.com 

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