Maybe It’s Just Me, But …
By Bob Gaydos
I got hooked on sports and journalistic writing in my early teens reading the likes of Jimmy Cannon in the New York Post. (Once upon a time, the rightwing bullhorn was the home of numerous great columnists.) Cannon had a gift for observation and a sharp wit that made his writing enjoyable far beyond the limited confines of sports. And he invented what I consider to be the greatest gifts for all sports writers — a way to put together a column when you had nothing in your head but a random collection of unrelated thoughts.
Cannon’s “Nobody asked me, but:” columns are legendary. I remember looking forward to reading them in The Post and being disappointed when he chose to write about one topic. Truth be told, the approach has been shamelessly copied by every sports columnist who has followed Cannon, including myself in my earlier newspaper days. No one dares to use the signature Cannon line, but Mike Lupica of the Daily News and the Record’s Kevin Gleason are just the latest in line to patch together a bunch of one-liners and call it a column.
So what the heck, why not me?
Is it just me or isn’t giving Jerry Manuel another year as skipper of the Mets like giving the captain of the Titanic — “It was a great year except for that iceberg.” — another ship to command? And how do Howard Johnson, hitting coach for the run-starved Mets, and Razor Dull, the befuddled third-base coach, deserve new contracts?
Is it just me, or are Jon Gruden and Ron Jaworski really that annoying to listen to doing Sunday night football on ESPN? And gentlemen, cross your legs, please.
And it was bush, wasn’t it, for the Tampa Bay Rays to avoid pitching to Mark Texiera during the last regular season series so he couldn’t break the tie with the Rays Carlos Pena for the American League homerun title?
Just noticed, hockey started. Call me in May.
Is it just me, or is it a fact that virtually no female driver in Orange County knows how to handle a four-way stop? (Oh sure, it’s OK for Beth Quinn to complain about women drivers, but God forbid a guy do it.). Proceed at your own risk.
And while I’m in the car, is it just me or do all Yankee fans dread tuning in to a ballgame already under way and having to wait 20 minutes for John Sterling to give the score? Play by play, John, play by play.
Maybe this is just me, but I’m not sure. When a waitress in a diner checks back with you two minutes after delivering your food by asking, “How’d everything come out?” doesn’t that shake your confidence just a bit in the kitchen staff? Same thing when they come back 20 minutes later and you’re taking a breather, maybe talking to a friend, and they ask, “Still working on that?” It didn’t seem like a job until then. And is it just me, but when you are a man of a certain age — say over 60 — doesn’t it seem just plain wrong for a waitress of a certain age — say under 30 — to call you “Hon”?
Maybe I missed it, but did any of the Mets’ opponents complain about not being able to hit homeruns at Citi Field? And if it’s just me making the decision, I leave the fences and wind currents and everything else affecting home runs at the new Yankee Stadium just the way they are, thank you very much.
Watched the New York Giants play two crummy teams two weeks in a row and win, but fail to dominate them the way they should have because: 1. The Giants still have no clue how to call plays inside the 20-yard line; and 2. Brandon Jacobs has apparently decide to become a ballerina. And is it just me, or has it been a long time since the Giants sacked a quarterback?
Maybe it’s just me, but did anyone notice Roman Polanski showing any kind of remorse in the past 30 years for raping that 13-year-old girl in California? And exactly how is it that he has “paid for his mistakes,” as some of his defenders have claimed? And shouldn’t Woody Allen abstain from commenting on any case involving young teenage girls? Tacky.
Can’t decide if I want Lebron James, Dwyane Wade or Nate Robinson directing the Knicks’ attack next year. How ’bout all three?
Is it just me or, with the purchase of the New Jersey Nets by a rich Russian, do we face a long season of newspaper headlines calling them the “Nyets” every time they lose a game? And by the way, how about that capitalism, comrade?
In case you missed it, the boss of Amazon apologized recently for his company’s erasing unlicensed versions of two George Orwell books, “1984,” and “Animal Farm,” from customers’ Kindles. He also offered to provide customers with new copies of the classics for their electronic readers, or $30. In a world where is up is down and good is bad, that might be enough, but is it just me, or doesn’t this still leave Amazon with the considerable power to recall — erase — any of its digital books at any time? And doesn’t that still smack a lot of Big Brother? Or is just me?
Hey, is it just me, or is this harder than I thought?
Bob can be reached at bob@zestoforange.com.
Tags: Bob Gaydos
October 7th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Okay, the diner comment got to me. A couple of minutes after the food is served and your mouth is full, why does the waitress have to ask if everything is all right? If the cook is any good, there should be no question. Or are they just insecure? (I usually tell her that no, everything’s NOT all right. The national debt is too high and I don’t have health insurance, but if she can fix it, go ahead.) And since when do we need a cheerleader to encourage us to clean our plates and make it all gone? “How’d ja do?” they ask. I didn’t know my eating performance was being graded. The nurturing, helicopter waitresses are the worst, though. “Finished, hon, or ya feel like just pickin’ on it awhile? Ya wanna take it home?” Makes me feel like I’m sitting in a highchair being spoon fed.
October 7th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Ok, on those four-way stops?
I don’t think this is a man-woman thing although I’ll allow for the possibility that I’m wrong on that.
I just think four-way stops are the last remnants of anarchy in America (although those morons on the Far Right are reviving a different, more dangerous sort of anarchy, but that’s not the point here so I’ll stop).
I’m actually impressed that most people tend to defer to some sort of self-imposed regulation and they generally just take turns at four-way stops without pulling out an assault rifle, which is increasingly how disputes are settled in America.
If there seems to be an issue with women at these stops, it may be that women are erring on the side of being over-polite. I can understand how that might be annoying because it just slows down the taking turns thing.
Frankly, now that I think of it, I’m against four-way stops. Railroad Avenue in Middletown is over-run with them, like the transportation department had some kind of difficult day making concrete decisions about who had the right of way.
In fact, dammit, I’d complain to someone if I only knew who.
And, speaking of weird traffic decisions in Middletown, what is UP with those 24-minute parking signs? Why 24? Was there no winner in the dispute between 30 minutes and 15 minutes? Couldn’t a rousing game of rock-paper-scissors have decided the issue instead of compromising on 24?
Yours truly,
Beth Quinn
p.s. Fun column, Gaydos.