From the Virtual Mailbag
By Michael Kaufman
A couple of days ago Bob Gaydos forwarded fellow Zesters an email message from Kerry Clair at Arrow Web Design under the heading, “Outgoing Mail Server change for website.”
“This is an FYI for any clients using their websites for email (in other words you have and use an email YourEmail@YourDomain.com
“Due to a server upgrade and server certificate change, the outgoing mail server should now be changed to be: host2.arrowwebsites.com
“Depending on your mail server you may then also need to permanently “TRUST” the new certificate. Please contact us, or open a ticket if you have any issues or trouble and we will walk you through this change.”
Well I have no idea what this means, and the tech-savvy Bob forwarded the email without comment, perhaps assuming that no explanation was necessary. But I know that whenever someone tells me they’ll walk me through something if I have “any issues or trouble,” I’m going to need to be walked. So I’ll just trust Bob and our other tech savvy Zesters to address the situation.
But as long as we’re on the subject of email, I will take this opportunity to some of the email messages that have recently come my way:
Dear Ms. Gaddafi,
First, please accept my belated condolences on the loss of your husband. And thank you so much for offering to share 40 percent of the $12.5 million you succeeded in removing from his underground safe before fleeing to Algeria. Rest assured that I will never reveal your intention to share this money with me in a manner that would in any way put you “at risk of being burned alive with your entire family.”
But I’m afraid I cannot accept your offer. I would never be able to live with myself if I took advantage of your predicament to make a quick $5 million or so. A simple 10% would more than suffice.
Dear Christian Mingles,
Thank you for your offer to help arrange dates for me with single Christian women. I’m not sure who gave you my address (probably one of my crazy old high-school friends) but I am neither single nor Christian, although if I were single I certainly would not rule out the possibility of dating a woman of the Christian persuasion.
Dear Chen Yu (or should I call you “Rick” or “Jeff?”),
Frankly I am sick and tired of receiving messages from you touting your “digital image retouching and refinishing, photo retouching, video editing, and a host of other services from your “state of the art” facility in China. I have been deleting your messages from my Zest of Orange mailbox for months now. They have become so annoying that earlier today I did some online searching and found the following information at a site that keeps a registry of email spammers:
“No website or other Internet assets of his own, Changshu-based Chen Yu relies on throwaway webmail accounts, open proxies and open relay sending sources since at least Spring 2010. He hijacked several thousand servers all over the world to have his spam delivered, inflicting massive costs to thousands of companies across the world.”
Gotcha, Chen. If you think you’re going to inflict massive costs to Zest of Orange, you’ve got another think coming!
Very truly yours,
Michael may or may not be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org