By Jeffrey Page

Dear Newt, Forgive me, but the temptation to kick you when you’re down is just too great to resist.

We all knew a kid years ago who said that if he wasn’t picked for a stickball team he would take his stick and go home. In you, we have someone who has no stick – just a big mouth and a smart-ass attitude – and still insists on having things his way or else …

Or else you’ll go to the Republican convention with your pathetic showing in the primaries and demand to be heard. Once you’re up at the rostrum you’ll be sure to let America know – yet again – how smart you are, how perceptive, how talented, and how much in demand you are.

Demand? You’ve won a grand total of two primaries in states with glorious traditions, Georgia and South Carolina. And now, after Rick Santorum’s withdrawal, you insist you’re the man to put Mitt Romney on a path that’s conservative enough to meet your failed expectations. “I am committed to staying in this race all the way to Tampa so that the conservative movement has a real choice,” you said after Santorum quit.

In truth, the conservative movement has had a choice for months, but the choice wasn’t you. Everybody except you understands this. Your inability to see this following defeat after defeat is astonishing. In the 15 primaries in which you and Ron Paul both appeared on the ballot, he beat you 15 times.

Newt, you’re 68 years old, a time to face facts. Nobody likes you.

What is it about you that makes people cringe? Could it be your insufferable hypocrisy? Or maybe it’s your insulting quote on same-sex marriage. You said, “The effort to create alternatives to marriage between a man and a woman are perfectly natural pagan behaviors, but they are a fundamental violation of our civilization.”

“Pagan behaviors?” Really, Newt, you ought not pass judgment on other people’s wishes to marry when you have defined marriage in your own life as courtship, marriage, affair, divorce, courtship, marriage, affair, divorce, courtship, marriage and counting.

Is it that self-delusion that turns people off? Recently you said you were the only candidate who could prevent Romney from getting the nomination. Newt, you couldn’t stop Minnie Mouse.

And now, your sugar daddy, Sheldon Adelson, says it seems like enough is enough. After pouring $15 million into your campaign, Adelson said it’s about the end of the line for you.

With a little luck, America is through with you, too.

jeffrey@zestoforange.com

Tags: Gingrich, Jeffrey Page

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