All the News Not Fit to Print
By Michael Kaufman
As newspapers across the country are continuing to drop like flies, the people now running the Times Herald-Record are doing their darnedest to win back readers and woo advertisers. In case you missed them, here are just a few of the steps they have taken in recent months to upgrade the paper.
They expanded the comics section by a full page after polling readers as to which comic strips they like best…and least. Sadly, Beetle Bailey and Prince Vailant didn’t make the cut. I haven’t read either in decades, but I found it comforting to glance at the familiar characters on the page. They will be missed.
Another recent innovation was the expansion of the television listings, a much-needed service for those readers too busy to wait for the schedule to scroll into view on their TV screens.
But they missed the boat–or should I say the car or motorcycle–by not adding another page to the wildly popular “My Ride” section. Readers would like nothing better than to see more photos of people standing next to their prized classic cars and Harley-Davidsons. I especially like the pictures of the little kiddies at the wheel of their miniature cars. I think readers would also like to see some pictures of the family pets with the cars.
And what were they thinking when they told Barbara Bedell she can no longer run group pictures if the peoples’ faces aren’t at least as large as a dime? As she has correctly pointed out (several times now) in her column, this limits the number of people who can appear in a group photo. To include an entire group she may have to run several photos with just a few members each. This will mean less room for text. I am surprised that the powers that be at the paper have not figured out the obvious solution: Give Barbara Bedell another page!
After all, there probably isn’t much news to report anyway, at least as far as I can tell from reading the Record. One of the biggest stories in the news section of Sunday’s paper was about the restoration of the Glenmere Mansion in Chester, now taking reservations as a luxury bed-and-breakfast. It said the owners spent $30 million to restore the place, built in 1911, to its original splendor, “as well as to create an upscale destination meant for the wealthiest and most distinguished of New York’s upper crust.”
“Polish master craftsmen restored the original ironwork balustrades and decorative wood molding; a Ukrainian artist painstakingly transferred a wall mural to canvas; and a famous modern landscape architect is in the process of recreating the gardens, designed by Beatrix Jones Farrand, America’s first female landscape architect and niece of novelist Edith Wharton.” Pretty swell, huh?
“I think there’s a real need for a high-end place to have dinner with a significant other, as well as to spend a night,” said Laura Bremer, a public relations specialist. She said the idea is to make the extra cost worth it for customers, especially in a tight economy. “People want to be taken away, and in this house, you really feel like you’re in Tuscany,” she said.
The article notes that modern luxuries of the bed-and-breakfast include a “sumptuous 1,250-square-foot penthouse on a private third floor, priced at $3,400 a night; custom-made Italian linens; radiant Italian marble floors in every bathroom; gas fireplaces next to every bed and some baths; high definition, flat-screen TVs; and gorgeous views…”
If that is a little too upper crust for you…not to worry! “Despite its luxuries, the prices remain on par with high-end hotels in the metro New York area. A night’s stay starts at $550, dinner for two in the Supper Room averages $100-$200, and one can still grab a burger, fries and a beer for under $40 at the bar…” Gee, thanks.
I wish them luck but it seems to me that if someone has $3,400 or even $550 to spend on a night in a hotel room that will make them feel like they are in Tuscany, they’d may as well go to Tuscany, not Chester. (They’ll know for sure they’re not in Tuscany if they visit the nearby Brotherhood or Kedem wineries and taste any of the wines.)
On the same page as the Glenmere Mansion article was a “News Brief” that I’m sure was of tremendous interest to readers in the Mid-Hudson Valley: A 16-year-old matador in Caceres, Spain, killed six bulls in one day. Maybe they’re contemplating expanded bullfight coverage. Don’t laugh: It makes about as much sense as what they’ve done so far.
Michael can be reached at michael@zestoforange.com.
Tags: Michael Kaufman
February 11th, 2010 at 11:54 am
Perhaps “All the news that fits, we print.” would be more accurate.
Derek Bloomfield
February 11th, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Since its introduction, I have alway thought that MY RIDE would have been Mike Levine’s favorite part of the new TH-R! That and the insightful columnists who have never-ending stories to tell about their own children. Oh, and the extensive arts coverage (no not just the stories about artists who paint motorcycle gas tanks). Yes sir, a paper for all the people!
February 11th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I know nothing of the newspaper industry. I’ve been a Record home subscriber since 1982. This paper has been flushing itself down the tubes for the past decade. Under Mike Levine it was the grizzly gore filled front page action shots, like the one of some one being burned and dragged down a road in a war zone. Great paper to plop down on the kitchen table as you eat breakfast with the kids. I actually tossed many of those front pages in the trash before I brought the paper into the house. Then the obsessive coverage of some barely newsworthy items for years, and totally ignoring other newsworthy stories. When is the Record going to petition the Pope to make Mike Levine a Saint? Then they shrunk the size of the paper and said a panel of readers decided the large format was too difficult to handle, but industry websites spilled the beans, it was another way to save a buck on newsprint. The really good reporters seemed to fade away, their stories replaced with days old AP national stories previously covered in other media. The comics shuffle ended up in with “more” comics on two less pages, hope your eyesight is good. Parade Magazine is a sad joke, thin and aimless. They took their online forums offline, blaming parent company Dow Jones for the decision, yet the Pocono Record has their forums back online, The Record just doesn’t want to deal with legal issues and the heat from people venting about real current events that are barely covered. Face it, the Times Herald Record is a thin starving relic of a once great paper with respectable local coverage, replaced by a poor excuse with a prime mission to sell local businesses advertising space and micro managed to death.
February 11th, 2010 at 8:49 pm
Amazing. You can really get a burger and fries for under $40?
February 11th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Jeez, Michael, don’t get me started. The Record stretches the truth so thin, it’s become transparent. Chalk one up for Laura Bremer, public relations specialist for the Glenmere. She managed to get a huge ad for the place disguised as a news story. Not to worry, though. I’m sure the story ran as a favor in exchange for Glenmere’s buying an ad. If it hasn’t run yet, I’m sure it will soon. As for the columnists who write about nothing but their own children…well, what do you expect for nothing? You think the Record PAYS for that stuff? Many of the columnists submit the writing for free, just for that little blurb at the end of the piece, identifying who they are, what business they own, where their business is located….well, you get the idea. Ever read the headlines lately? Probably not. Why bother? They haven’t learned how to write them yet. Have any of those people ever heard of, let alone graduated from, journalism school? But the Record’s main advertising problem is that they’re trying to appeal to the television watchers (3 or 4 pages of TV guide) and the souped-up car jocks (endless pages of MY Ride), neither of which group do much reading and/or can’t read. Anymore, the Record looks like the result of a bunch of kids who got together and decided to play “Newspaper.”
February 12th, 2010 at 8:32 am
AND FROM THE VIRTUAL MAILBAG…
“How about the firing of Beth, Shawn and the others. Those were the real tragedies.” –Howard Garrett
“Thanks Michael. I had a long and arduous day. Came home to read my emails and of course Zest. Your article just had me laughing out loud. I was lucky enough to spend a week riding horseback in Tuscany for a WEEK a few years ago. We stayed in a fabulous hilltop village with gourmet food every night. The horses and riding were beyond wonderful. It cost about the same, or little more than, the cost of ONE NIGHT in Chester, NY. No contest. Oh, and I cannot wait for extended coverage of bullfighting in Spain. It might possibly have me checking out the sports pages after all these years.” –Patricia