The Deaths of Strangers
By Jeffrey Page
Lately, I’m again thinking about the wretched deaths of two people I never met.
No one knew the true identity of the homeless woman who keeled over dead on a bench in Grand Central Terminal in 1986. But a group of people decided that she would not be buried as an anonymous number in the potter’s field and they made a funeral for her.
In the other case, in 2004, a baby – almost certainly murdered – had no name until a priest gave him one as his little body was placed in the ground. It was a funeral witnessed only by a photographer, a reporter, a cemetery worker and an undertaker who contributed an inexpensive coffin and some flowers.
In writing about these victims several times over the years, I reject the advice of an old city editor who advised me when I was a cub in Jersey City never to get emotionally involved with the people in my stories. But sometimes you just can’t let it go and so, later in a long career, I understood that the woman and the little boy deserved to be remembered. I would remember them. I told the priest I would kick in some money for the impromptu funeral if it was necessary. It wasn’t; no one charged a fee.
I expect I’ll spend the rest of my days occasionally giving a little ink to these two strangers, and writing about the gentle humanity in the homeless woman’s case – some people called her Mama, some called her Mary – and the outrage inflicted on the baby, whom the priest named John on the day of the funeral. Additionally, maybe at some time to come someone will read about them and realize a relationship to the woman. Maybe the person who tossed John into winter-cold water will read about him and make an appointment to meet with the prosecutor.
I was a reporter for a long time and generally followed that long-ago city editor’s words. I created a shield around myself that allowed me to see but not feel. But there are those moments when I allow the shield to slip such as in the cases of Mama and John.
Mama snoozed on a bench at Grand Central Terminal. The police had told her to move on, but it was cold and soon, she was back. She closed her eyes and fell asleep. Soon, a cop approached. She was dead. It was Christmas.
She was about 55. In addition to Mama and Mary, some of the homeless who took shelter at Grand Central called her Granny. She spoke with a European accent. She didn’t bother anyone, though she was shameless when she needed a cigarette. She’d ask anyone – commuters, the police, other homeless people – to bum a smoke.
She would have gone to the potter’s field on Hart Island had it not been for a woman from the Bronx who put up some money for a funeral. All at once, Mama had some dignity. She got a grave at Maple Grove Cemetery in Queens, a casket, a kaddish service at Temple Emanu-El in case she was Jewish, a priest’s eulogy in case she was Catholic. The priest quoted a Quaker line (“I expect to pass through this world but once…”), and a vigil was held for her at Grand Central in case she was none of the above. The cash was for a gravestone at discount.
There was a small gathering at her burial, and people still return every Christmas season to pay respects to the woman with no name.
John was discovered by a man walking along a stretch of the Raritan Bay shoreline called Ideal Beach. In the far distance you can see the Empire State Building and the Parachute Jump at Coney Island.
The man stopped, leaned down and found himself staring at a naked dead baby. The medical examiner determined that the baby’s fractured skull could have been caused by a blow to the head or, somehow less horrific, by smashing into something in the water. The M.E. also noted that the extent of decomposition probably meant the baby had been in the water for about a week.
He also held out the possibility that the baby had been alive when tossed into the bay.
The advice from a newsroom veteran served me well, but sometimes rules and common sense must be tossed.
Tags: Jeffrey Page, nameless people, newsroom practices
October 10th, 2014 at 9:46 am
I was so very touched by reading your account of these two unfortunate souls, but also more touched by the generosity and caring of the people who gave their lives the dignity they were denied in life. I too will now remember Mama and John, after reading your touching account, how could I not. Now I too, am wondering why, thinking how, was there no one in their lives that missed them. And I am thankful that you are here to keep their memory alive…
October 10th, 2014 at 10:56 am
Thank you for these stories, Jeff. It is heartening to know that there are good people who do something in the face of evil or neglect. Not everyone is apathetic. I think that reading about good inspires good in all of us.
October 10th, 2014 at 11:15 pm
Despite the advice you were given, Jeff, I think all reporters are haunted. My three ghosts, as it happens, didn’t come from my years on the beat, but afterward.
There was Willard, a homeless man with a skin condition, who at first declined my offer of vitamin E oil capsules to apply to his skin because he assumed I wanted to sell them to him. Later on, he gave me a street name and educated me in the ways of street trade among the homeless. (The toilet paper he stole from bathrooms could be traded for grape jelly, if you went to the right individual, while canned beans from a food pantry could be bartered at a nearby shop for cigarettes.) When he died a few months later I attended his funeral along with only two other people: his social worker and a nun.
Gary was a homeless man who collected deposit bottles and hung out in the soup kitchen. To stay warm he sat in church and eventually decided he wanted to be baptized. Tears of emotion poured down his face at the baptismal rite. Not long after, on a cold, rainy night a car struck him in the dark as he pushed a shopping cart full of empty bottles on a street in Newburgh. He was killed instantly.
Connie would probably have qualified for Mensa, if she could have ever gotten transportation to the test. With a heart badly damaged by undiagnosed Lyme disease and unable to work, she lived with her kids in a second-floor apartment and walked, painfully, several blocks to the soup kitchen. Her social worker helpfully advised her that her waste basket was too small and that she had too many books. While I was away on vacation, Connie’s heart gave out. I learned of her passing two weeks later.
October 22nd, 2014 at 7:40 am
Jeff
I’ve known you for many years as as reporter and friend. and I can tell you that you always thought with your heart first and then with your mind. You sure know how to bring tears to a grown man.