Syracuse Post-Dispatch

 

By Bob Gaydos

    With the death of local newspapers, the co-opting of major media, the widespread fake news on social media, and the daily torrent of lies emanating from the White House and the Republican Party, it is often impossible these days to know what is actually going on in this country and the rest of the world. Therefore, I present here a list of 20 questions for our times. Honest answers would be welcome.

                                The Questions

1. Where in the world is Mitch McConnell?
2. Is he dead or alive?
3. Why did his wife go to China?
4. When and why did Marco Rubio turn in to Lindsay Graham?
5. Could Trump pass even a basic cognitive test today?
6. Will legal gambling and “probability betting” eventually destroy sports at all levels in this country?
7. Who killed Jeffrey Epstein?
8. How badly has Netanyahu fractured the America/Israel connection?
9. Are there aliens (non-earthlings) living among us?
10. What is the biggest threat from Artificial Intelligence?
11. Should the president be elected by popular vote?
12. Why does anyone care how fast a baseball leaves a major league stadium?
13. What religion will J.D. Vance convert to next?
14. Where in the world is Chuck Schumer?
15. Why are so many Americans, all the descendants of immigrants, so afraid of immigrants?
16. Has Putin already lost the war in Ukraine?
17. What will eventually replace the soulless Republican Party?
18. Should Supreme Court justices have term limits rather than lifetime appointments?
19. Should cursive writing still be taught in school?
20. How could anyone vote for Donald Trump TWICE?

   Feel free to respond to any question and to suggest any of your own. The list can grow. Remember, we’re all in this together.

By Bob Gaydos

The red card call.

   So we lost. Of course. Trump was involved.

    The United States Men’s Soccer Team lost to Belgium, 4-1, Monday in a World Cup knockout match. That’s the equivalent of losing by 20 runs in a baseball game. 

    By all accounts, Belgium was good, but not that much better than a refreshingly talented USA team whose top scorer had just the day before been ruled eligible to play even though he had received a red card, one-game suspension in the previous game.

    To the world, the cards seemed to be stacked in the U.S.’s favor. 

     Not really. Not when Trump is involved. Just as happened with the New York Knicks, a team playing very well and seemingly immune to pressure in highly competitive competition, the men’s soccer team seemed to be off its game Monday. A bit disorganized. Not loose. Possibly feeling pressure to somehow win a game without the rest of the world thinking it was fixed in your favor?

    The loss solved that problem. The loss and Belgium playing well. No asterisk, real or imagined, will be needed next to a U.S. win. Somehow, that doesn’t feel comforting.

     To review, Trump, who knows little about soccer and cares less, had intervened in that red card suspension of U.S. star Folarin Balogun by calling FIFA President Gianni Infantino and asking the organization to review the penalty. Infantino is a friend of Trump’s. He also apparently has no shame. The call was reversed, Balogun got to play, Belgium got to show what it had and the U.S. team had to deal with worldwide criticism of favoritism with the president of the host country personally getting its team’s star player reinstated in an elimination game.

      Which is how all the world except Trump saw it. He saw it as he always does — a way to make a deal, regardless of how smarmy it looks, if he can get a win. He doesn’t care about the pettiness. Maybe he doesn’t even understand or care why people might be upset. So he made a call and the guy got to play, so what?

     So the rest of the team was put in a high pressure situation of having to somehow win without worrying about the political fallout. Just like the seemingly unflappable Knicks, on an 11-game winning streak in NBA championship play, having to win at home in a Madison Square Garden filled with tension and animosity because Trump decided to attend and was roundly booed by the crowd. That could upset the temperament of even talented young athletes.

   The Knicks had to go back to San Antonio to win their championship for the city. They did. New York celebrated. The U.S. men’s soccer team, on the other hand, got to go home, wondering forever how well they might have done without their star player against Belgium if Trump had just minded his own business and let sports be sports, rather than just another way to try to steal something.

   He’s a national embarrassment. No asterisk needed.

By Bob Gaydos

The red card call.

This will be short and not so sweet. The match is tonight.

He just couldn’t help himself. He had to meddle in a much beloved worldwide sporting event and leave a taint that will further stain America’s reputation regardless of how the match plays out.

     Yeah, Trump. He got on the phone to call FIFA President Gianni Infantino to ask the soccer organization to review a red-card suspension given to U.S. star player Folarin Balogun for an illegal tackle in a game Wednesday against Bosnia-Herzegovina. The red card carries a mandatory one-game suspension. That meant Balogun would be unavailable for tonight’s (Monday night) match against Belgium.

      Trump says he heard about the suspension and that there were complaints the red card call was unfair, so he called his buddy Infantino (he gave Trump a phony FIFA Peace Prize, remember?) Sunday to ask him to please review that call again.

      Presto! Comes news Sunday that the suspension has been suspended and Balogun, leading scorer for the U.S. team, is eligible to play in the knockout game.

       Belgium was outraged. Indeed, most of the World Cup community was outraged. Why is the president of a host country, the U.S. no less, interfering with the prestigious soccer event? Trump said he thought the call and red card wasn’t fair. So what? FIFA has rules and procedures to deal with penalties. Bad calls happen all the time in sports. It’s the sporting body’s responsibility to deal with them, not some wannabe poobah’s place to get involved.

     Belgium said it was appealing, although it didn’t have much time or clear direction from FIFA on how to proceed. By 5 p.m. game time in Seattle no less. I have no idea what will happen as I write this. I’m just disgusted that Trump has to stain this event. And Infantino has damaged FIFA with his obsequiousness. I’d love to see the U.S. team win, but if it does with Balogun playing, the victory will be forever tainted. Meanwhile, the whole world is rooting against us now. It’s unfair to the team and Balogun, who handled the questionable call and suspension with class.

     Not so Trump. Clueless. It’s always about him and he messes up everything he touches.

     The option was still there for the U.S. team to not play Balogun in the match. But how do you sit your star player when the bosses of the tournament say he can play?

     More will be revealed, I guess. Talk after the match.

RJ Photography

(Not being in much of a celebratory mood for America’s 250th birthday party, I went searching for my mood on the Fourth of July 2021, America’s 245th birthday. It’s not quite the same, but I think  what I wrote then helps explain my mood this year. I offer it again  and I feel exactly the same. Hang in there, America. Happy birthday. )

By Bob Gaydos

There’s something about Donald Trump that has always puzzled me. It’s not the fact that millions of Americans could and still do bow at the feet of this inveterate grifter. For a long time I’ve been of the opinion that there are a lot of people shuffling through life in this country unknowing, uncaring and unapologetic for their behavior. Also racists.

     They are here, they listen to Fox “news” and I don’t expect most of them to change or go away. It’s a free country, even for bigots.

      No, what has had me stumped for five years is that so many Americans have carried on as if Trump is just a little anomaly in the history of this nation. No big deal. When can we go to the movies again?

       For me, Trump has been a major threat ever since he announced his candidacy for the Republican nomination for president. It wasn’t just that I knew how slimy he was; it felt just so wrong for him to even be involved in this democratic process. We’re talking about president of the United States of America, for Pete’s sake, I said to myself over and over. What is Trump doing in this? It’s almost a physical reaction for me. It lasted through his whole presidency. Why are all those people on Wall Street behaving as if this is just another 9 to 5 interlude? This man is an insult to the presidency.

         That’s how I felt. Still do, although the election of Joe Biden has eased my concerns considerably. More to the point, for the purposes of this column, I think I know why I’ve had such a strong reaction to Trump. Why I never used the word, “president” with his name attached to it. Why I took it so personally.

          I was lucky.

          That’s what history tells me. Or rather, a bunch of historians. Some 142 noted historians were surveyed by CNN for the cable news network’s latest rating of American presidents. It does this whenever there’s a change in administration. Trump somehow managed to not finish last. More on that in a bit. What struck me most, personally I guess, is that the historians rated an era that included my first 28 years alive as the best stretch of presidents in the history of America.

          Wow.

           It started with Franklin Delano Roosevelt in 1933 (I was born in 1941) and continued through Harry S Truman, Dwight D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy and Lyndon Baines Johnson in 1969. FDR was Number 3 on the list, behind Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. Ike was fifth, Harry was sixth, JFK was number 8 and LBJ ranked 11th.

           Richard M Nixon (number 31) ended my personal winning streak of presidents and it was mediocrity or worse, in my opinion, until Barack Obama in 2008. But boy, those first 28 years! No wonder I resented Donald Trump in the Oval Office. I was spoiled and didn’t know it. I grew up with mature, responsible men as presidents, men who put their country ahead of their party and certainly ahead of themselves. Men who surely had their faults, but who each in his own way inspired confidence that he was always trying to do the best for all Americans. That’s what president did, I thought. Made us feel we had the right person making difficult decisions. Made us feel confident about the future. Made us proud to be Americans.

           FDR created the social fabric we take for granted today. Truman steered us steadily through the end of one war and into another while maintaining his touch with average Americans. Everybody seemed to like Ike, the war hero who warned us of the military/industrial complex. JFK, the orator, had his photo hung in virtually every Catholic family’s kitchen, alongside The Last Supper. He dreamed of going to the moon and gave us the Peace Corps. When he was assassinated, LBJ took up the tough fight for the Equal Rights Act and wrestled it through the resistance of southern senators. He knew how Washington worked. 

            Nixon lowered the bar before resigning. Ford didn’t do much as a fill-in. Carter was sincere but disappointing. Reagan got rated 10th by the historians, but I think he should trickle down several spots despite his affable communications skills. Bush senior was unimpressive, Bill Clinton was sporadically effective (he balanced the budget!) and George W. Bush, installed by the Supreme Court, was a disaster. I actually wept with pride when Barack Obama, the first black American president, addressed the crowd in a park in Chicago on his election night. We’re back, I thought.

             And then came Trump.

             An insult to the American psyche. A symbol of the decay of one of our two main political parties. And the fourth(!) worst president in American history. Franklin Pierce, Andrew Johnson James Buchanan — they rated worse than Trump. All I can say is I’m glad I didn’t live through their presidencies if they were worse than Trump. But history evolves over time and it is not too much to hope that he will ultimately bottom out.

             In the meantime, though, I am glad to know that I am not in some way weird for regarding the Trump administration as more than an anomaly in politics. I grew up with presidents who could read and speak with intelligence, who respected science, who had the respect of other world leaders, who did not lie with every waking breath, who did not divide Americans with angry insults and threats, who understood the Constitution and the obligation of presidents to serve the people, not vice versa.

           I grew up with real presidents. Trump dishonored the office. History is on my side.

***

(I am glad to report that Trump has now fallen  to the bottom of the list of American presidents.)

By Bob Gaydos

Pope Leo XIV sees unchecked AI as a threat to humanity.

  Meet Generation Duh, the high school Class of 2026. They can’t read (only 35 percent are at or above proficiency standards), they can’t add (22 percent are at math standards), don’t know much about history, don’t know much biology, don’t know much about a science book, don’t know much about the French they took .,,

     But they do know all about A.I., and one and one still makes two. You still have to write papers to pass classes and it seems that high school and college students are more and more using A.I. programs to write their papers. But their instructors, paid to teach students how to actually use their language properly, are flagging the A.I. “creations” because the writing can be predictably formulaic and trite. (I can usually spot it 20 seconds into most YouTube offerings and that doesn’t count the mispronunciations.)

     But fear not all who resist putting pen to paper, the latest development in A.I. technology are programs — “tools” they’re called by their developers — to make A.I. “more human.”

     Think about that for a moment, fellow humans. Sit with it. A “tool” to make something artificial, something which, in fact, is based on the perhaps illegal thefts of lifetimes of creations by humans, read more like something humans created than something, well, artificial.

       Intelligence …?

      This is where we are.

      The creators, and some of them are young influencers on social media platforms, have come up with programs to make it harder to track the A.I. writing by making it seem more like humans did it. Put in typos. “Write” the paper over an extended period of time rather than dropping 1,000 words all at once to avoid programs that can detect the progress of a creation. Add a few extra words. Make it not quite so perfectly mediocre. Human.

       This of course is happening in conjunction with a social media revolution that is producing a generation of young people who not only do not write their own papers, but do not read anything but commentary on their phones, much of which is A.I. or human creation badly in need of editing. And yes, current reading scores reflect a significant decline in the reading levels of students that started with the pandemic and has worsened with the growth of social media and A.I.

       It is not a promising development in human evolution.

      This also is happening at a time when those in positions of power to put some guardrails on A.I., for example, the Congress of the United States, are so in awe of or financially indebted to huge tech corporations for campaign contributions that any mere suggestion of limits on Artificial Intelligence is met with blank stares. Also, Republicans, who have control of Congress, have spent most of this year in recess to avoid dealing with other issues (Jeffrey Epstein) that are embarrassing to their leader, Donald Trump.

     This avoidance of the A.I. issue also helps Trump because the remaining base of his dwindling support consists of the poorly educated and those currying to them for votes or profit.

     On the positive side, perhaps the most prominent voice to speak out for some need to protect and encourage human intelligence, indeed humanity as a species, is not a minor one — Pope Leo XIV. 

     The pope wrote a 42,300-word encyclical on the need to place limits on A.I. In essence, he warned that AI must serve humanity rather than concentrate power or automate human dignity out of existence. Yes, I am willing to believe he didn’t have A.I. write his paper for him.

      The Chicago native read his encyclical, Magnifica Humanitas: On Safeguarding the Human Person in the Time of Artificial Intelligence, at the Vatican in May. He was standing next to Christopher Olah, co-founder of Anthropic, one of the pioneer A.I.companies.

       Olah responded to the pope’s remarks with a request. He said, “We need more of the world — religious communities, civil society, scholars, governments, and indeed all people of good will — to do what His Holiness has done here: to take this seriously, to look closely, and to push events in a better direction.”

      Briefly, according to both men, that means addressing what to do about all the people who will lose their jobs because of AI, how to prevent governments from using A.I. to make military decisions of life and death and how to avoid looking at the tech companies who develop A.I. as too rich and too powerful to be held accountable to the law and basic morality.

    To keep them, as well as their creation, more human. 

                                ***

(With apologies to Sam Cooke for stealing the words to his big hit, “Wonderful World,” and thanks to Google AI for quickly finding the pope’s and Olah’s comments on the future of AI.)

By Bob Gaydos

Champs!

    When there’s really too much news going on (which now is almost every day), I turn to the approach of one of my  favorite sports columnists in my early years. Jimmy Cannon had opinions on more than balls and strikes. So…

     — Maybe it’s just me, but: The devil is in the details. The so-called memorandum of understanding between the U.S. and Iran allows Iran to enrich virtually everything (it gets hundreds of billions of dollars) but uranium, which it had already agreed not to do in a deal brokered by Barack Obama that was torn up by Trump in his first term. It also requires Israel to agree to stop hostilities, notably against Lebanon, a requirement that may prove hard to enforce since Trump started the illegal war against Iran at the prompting of Israeli PM Bibi Netanyahu, who shows no signs of wanting to end his military campaigns and face charges of corruption in Israeli courts. Sound familiar? A typical Trump “win.”

      — Maybe it’s just me, but: Kash Patel is pathetic. The make-believe director of the FBI proudly announced the bureau’s avoidance of a potentially deadly attack with the arrest of a group of anti-MAGA young men who planned to attack Trump’s birthday party brawl on the White House lawn. Turns out the suspects were actually disenchanted MAGA creeps who didn’t trust the government (ironically) and thought it was covering up the Epstein files story. It also turns out the suspects were turned in by the parents of one of them and were arrested by the Secret Service before the June 14 event, so no one was in danger.

     — Maybe it’s just me, but: More on Ka$h. He’s so out of his league, he’s reportedly paying his security detail an extra $4,000 a week apiece (unauthorized) not to tell the media that he drinks on the job, often doesn’t wake up for work and really has no clue what he’s doing. Somehow, we’re finding out anyway. If he were a woman, Trump would have fired him by now.

    — Maybe it’s just me, but: Trump continues to display cognitive decline, including at the G7 talks, where he was perpetually out of touch with what was going on. To him, it’s just one continuous con job. The other world leaders present were mostly polite, but could not help but notice Trump’s disconnect. It is a national embarrassment for the U.S. and a potentially dangerous one. I repeat, again: This falls on the Republican Party, which has the power within its hands every day to remove him from office and replace him with someone who is at least mentally capable to deal with the demands of the job. All it needs is the moral fortitude to do it.

      — Maybe it’s just me, but: Jimmy wouldn’t let me finish without congratulating the New York Knicks for winning the NBA championship, despite Trump. Also, congrats to the current champs on rejecting the Trump invitation to have Big Macs in the White House in favor of a ride in the Canyon of Champions in NYC. Well done.

      — Maybe it’s just me, but: Sometimes patience is rewarded. On a personal note, fifty-three years ago, I got to watch the Reed, Bradley, DeBuscherre, Frazier, Monroe, Barnett, Lucas, Meminger, Bibby, Jackson group that won the last team title. Nice seat in the Garden press box during a brief stint as a sports editor. Gotta remember the good times when the other stuff piles up.

                                     — 30 — 

By Bob Gaydos 

The original Stars and Stripes

     Sunday, June 14, is the 251st anniversary of the birth of the U.S. Army. It is also the 249th anniversary of the birth of the Stars and Stripes, the American Flag. (Priorities. The colonials needed an army before they could declare their own flag.)

     It is still known as Flag Day, but it never had enough pull in Congress to be declared one of the “official“ federal holidays, meaning it’s celebrated but nobody gets a day off. So, no day off for Flag Day, but you wouldn’t even know it exists since the so-called mainstream media have ignored that fact in reporting on the mixed martial arts fights that are scheduled to take place on the torn up White House lawn on Sunday to celebrate Donald Trump’s birthday.

      Yeah, June 14 is his birthday, too. The gods must have been angry or drunk. So, no, there will be no ceremonies at the White House to honor the flag, its history and protocols surrounding it. (For example, civilians not in uniform do NOT salute the flag, as Trump does, but rather place their hand over their heart.) For that, you’ll have to go to the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia. The Stripes and Stars Festival, honoring the flag, will take place there and at the Betsy Ross House and on Independence Mall. They get it in Philly.

      If you’re around New York City and in a patriotic mood the Committee for the First Amendment is presenting a Concert for the First Amendment at Town Hall Sunday night. Bette Midler, Patti Smith, Julia Roberts, Rufus Wainwright and Jane Fonda are among those scheduled to appear.  It will also be streamed for viewing at watch parties nationally. Local veterans groups also sponsor events to honor the flag.

     At the White House, you’ll get seven matches in which two men get into an octagonal “ring“ and try to beat the crap out of each other any way they can. No Marquis of Queensbury Rules. It’s kind of like the way the birthday boy approaches politics. Reports of cockfights scheduled on the back lawn for July 4 could not be verified.

     The grotesque fighting structure on the White House lawn, which Trump says he might want to just leave there when the fighting is done, joins the demolished East Wing and rising skeleton of a grand ballroom, the outdoor dining patio that replaced the torn up Jackie Kennedy Rose Garden and all the golden glitz inside as part of Trump’s focus on redecorating a house in which he is only a temporary tenant. An odd preoccupation for a man who has a war to fight.

     In any event, the Ultimate Fighting Competition Freedom 250 event (the 250 is the obvious token effort by the White House to make this seem like a patriotic event in honor of the 250th birthday of America, not Trump’s birthday) is scheduled to go on Sunday night with the full fight card, although some of the RSVPs might not be to Trump’s liking.

    Reports say some of the scheduled fighters weren’t too thrilled with appearing and some of Trump’s special invited guests were apparently not ready to cough up $1 million to sit in the box next to Trump as he dozes through seven matches. And the viewing screens set around the city were not expected to draw the huge throngs Trump typically predicts for events he sponsors. Also, it’s going to be brutally hot and it might pour. One can always hope.

     Maybe the gods will have sobered up.

By Bob Gaydos

    Let’s add party pooper (any way you want to take it) to the list of dubious attributes Donald Trump possesses. In the social consciousness area of not knowing when he’s not wanted and insisting on going where he’s not wanted, he’s clueless. In fact, he appears not to give a damn what the other partygoers think.

     So, Trump is going to New York City Monday night to crash the best garden party the city has known for decades and in the process create a lot of confusion and resentment.

     The New York Knicks are hosting the San Antonio Spurs at Madison Square Garden Monday night for game three of the National Basketball Association championship. The Knicks have won the first two games. The city is energized. It hasn’t had an NBA championship for decades and happy fans who can’t afford the pricey tickets have been celebrating outside Madison Square Garden, watching on a big screen, all season.

       They were there when the Knicks won the first game and it got a bit rowdy. People, including police, were injured. The city first said it would cancel the watch party, but relented.

       Then Trump said he was going, even though he didn’t have a ticket (which isn’t cheap), wasn’t invited and a lot of fans would probably boo him. No bother. He’s going.

       So the city again canceled the outdoor watch party because of serious security concerns with Trump and his entourage in midtown Manhattan. His presence will also make it more cumbersome and slow for ticket holders to get into the game. They are advised to arrive at least two hours before game time for security checks. Oh, and no purses, backpacks or tote bags allowed.

        All because Trump wants to soak in the adoration and glory of others’ accomplishments, thus draining the joy out of Knicks’ fans anticipation of a long-awaited championship. Talk about resentment.There will be boos.

     The truth is, Trump’s such a party pooper that when he announced his own party for June 24 to help celebrate America’s 250th Birthday, virtually all the announced B-list performers said they wouldn’t go because, well, for one thing, no one asked them about performing. Others said they didn’t like Trump. Others said they didn’t like the bad publicity attached to the so-called great American State Fair. Undeterred, Trump says he’ll be the entertainment. 

    He also appointed a group of supplicants to plan America’s 250th birthday party next month, replacing the official party planning group and the results are likely to be similar to the state fair fiasco. Dull, boring and a major disappointment to millions of Americans. And he trashed the White House Lawn for a fighting exhibition June 14, his birthday. Used to be Flag Day, a day of respect. He says he might just leave the ring there. 

     We deserve better.

     I keep hoping for better. In fact, the other day that young black squirrel I wrote about last year that was maybe moving into our neighborhood showed up again. Well, hello, neighbor. As I have noted, this one in 10,000 variety of squirrels is regarded in various cultures as a wise, noble, magic symbol of good fortune and good luck. 

    So far that luck has eluded me. Following my first sighting, Trump got elected. But the black squirrel, a persistent nut gatherer, keeps showing up. So I’m thinking maybe the young squirrel needed to grow into its magic powers. Like right about now. Maybe it can figure out a way to disinvite the party pooper permanently so that America can celebrate its 250th birthday party and more with dignity and gratitude. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.

      If it happens, I’d be happy to supply all the nuts any squirrel could desire for the 251st.

By Bob Gaydos 

Trump tried to steal the name and reputation of JFK.

   Donald Trump is addicted to the Name Game. He loves nothing more than slapping his name on anything, especially things not even remotely connected with his talents or abilities or accomplishments, all of which are virtually non-existent.

  He has made a career of building monuments to his ego by constructing or buying buildings, golf courses, casinos — an airline — and gilding them with tacky gold everywhere before driving most of them into bankruptcy.

  There was Trump University and the Trump charitable foundation, both phony money-grabbing schemes which he was ordered to shut down and repay those he bilked. 

 He also sells the rights to use his name for those foolish enough to want to put it on their buildings. He even managed to bankrupt the historic Plaza Hotel in New York City for Pete’s sake and sully its reputation by gilding it with cheap gold and slapping his name on it before selling it for an $83 million loss.

    It seems he’s not very good at the game. The latest, perhaps most satisfying, example of Trump losing the game came on May 29, the birthday of John F. Kennedy.

     In what I refuse to believe was a coincidence, U.S. District Judge Christopher Cooper took the occasion of the late president’s birthday to order Trump’s name removed from the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. The judge said Congress had created the memorial and only Congress could change the name. Trump had no authority to put his name above Kennedy’s on one of the nation’s premier and most revered institutions.

    The judge also said Trump couldn’t just shut the center down for “repairs” because no one was going there since Trump’s new appointed board took over and top performers were refusing to appear there.

    The Kennedy family took its turn at the game also, honoring JFK’s memory on his birthday by presenting the annual Profile in Courage awards to Jerome Powell, outgoing chair of the Federal Reserve and the People of the Twin Cities of Minnesota.

    Powell was honored for protecting the independence and stability of the Federal Reserve against a constant  stream of threats and personal insults from Trump. The people of the Twin Cities were honored for risking their lives through peaceful resistance against an onslaught of ICE enforcement agents sent there as part of Trump’s war against America.

     The awards were presented at the JFK Library and are named in honor of the Pulitzer Prize-winning book, “Profiles in Courage,” authored by Kennedy and Ted Sorensen, his speech writer. Kennedy’s wartime heroics were detailed in the book, “PT 109.”

     Trump’s name on a library would be a joke and any book with his name on it was not about heroism and was written entirely by someone else who doesn’t brag about identifying a camel on a cognitive test.

    All in all, May 29 turned out to be a really bad game day for an insecure little man who likes nothing more than the sound of his own name. Well-played, Judge Cooper and Kennedy clan.

(While scrolling through my Facebook feed the other day I spotted a column I had written a year ago. Apparently, a friend had spotted it in his feed in the memories category and had reposted it. Well, how nice I thought. Always good to feel appreciated. I read the column to see what I had written and, wouldn’t you know, since it had to deal with Trump, etc., it still applies, although Susan Collins is now on the fence. Anyway, here it is again. And thanks, Patrick.)

By Bob Gaydos

     Had breakfast with a friend the other day, trying out a new coffee shop in town. Nice addition.

      The conversation touched on the usual stuff. Too much rain. What’s planted in the garden, the hummingbird count, the challenges in living in a house with another person. Living on a planet with certain other people.

      That last proved provocative. With regard to those certain other people, my friend offered that, if he were a praying man, he would pray for The Rapture.

      I got his intent, but I suggested that I thought he had it backwards. Having read “Left Behind,“ I knew it was the good, caring, kind, faithful humans who were transported off the planet to Heaven, I believe, leaving their clothing and loved ones behind.

      The others, the nasty ones, the ones my friend wanted to be rid of, stayed and, through a series of books, fended for and against themselves and other non-believers. So I suggested that, assuming we wanted to remain in whatever state this is for a while longer, what we needed was a Reverse Rapture.

   We needed someplace we could pray for all those You Know Whats to be sent to, without any get-out-of-jail card in the form of an Orpheus, if I may be allowed to mix my miracles.

     Hades. Yes, Hades. The Underworld would do.

     So, who would we want to go? Personally, I’d start with Trump and his immediate family. The whole crew. Every member of his Cabinet and White House staff. Every lawyer who ever worked for him, except for Michael Cohen. Elon Musk. J.D.Vance. Every current Republican member of Congress, except for Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski. The authors of Project 2025. Anyone who wears a Maga T-shirt or hat. Anyone who identifies as a journalist but works and lies for Fox News. Putin. Kim. Hamas and all the other terrorists. The pushers of fentanyl. Laura Loomer. (Speaking of Loomer and Kristi Noem and the Barbi press contact and the attorney general and all the other Trumpettes, Hades will come with no cosmetic amenities, including plastic surgeons. Zero. Just saying.)

    Also, all those mask-wearing ICE employees who’ve been enjoying grabbing people off the street, out of their homes, wherever, with no warrants or concern for the people or the law. And Clarence Thomas, to fulfill Hades’ DEI requirements.

     And, really, anyone who voted for Trump three times. What were they thinking? They get a special wing in Hades where The Apprentice plays on big screens constantly. In Spanish. And they have to use their bitcoin to buy English subtitles, but they already gave it all to Trump, who gave it all to the Saudi royal family (they’re there, too), who promised to build a Hades Trump Tower using white South African immigrants for labor. It could take a while, but who really cares?

     Now, all that cosmic deportation would obviously leave behind a whole lot of room, especially in this big, beautiful country, and a lot of available work for good, caring, reliable, nice, talented, decent, tolerant human beings, maybe from Venezuela or Mexico or Greenland or Panama or El Salvador.

      Too much to ask for, you say? Especially over breakfast? Hell, if you’re going to pray for anything, especially a Reverse Rapture, I say why not go all in?

       Besides, checks and balances seems to be broken.

                                     ***

Additions to the prayer chain are welcome.