Tale of two roll calls
By Bob Gaydos
Rapper Lil Jon juices, the Democratic national convention.
Chicago (cue music)
“Mr. Chairman! The great state of Euphoria, where men are proud fathers and women are allowed to come out of the kitchen and be corporate executives, where we teach real history in our schools and don’t ban books, where the concept of equal rights is embraced, where LGBTQ spells freedom, where no one is above the law, where the air is clean and we like it that way … the state of rock and roll and hip hop and anything Willie Nelson does, where there are no white, brown or black jobs, where veterans are respected and democracy cherished, the state of presidents and patriots, poets and perfect sunsets … Euphoria, where the right to vote and the right to choose are sacred, where we love our country and honor our commitments, the state full of hope for the future of America, proudly casts all 47 of its votes for the next president of the United States, the first black/Asian woman president of the United States, the tough, young, smart prosecutor who we think once went to school here or at least we wish she had, the current Vice President of the United States … KAMALA HARRIS!”
Milwaukee
“Mr. Chairman, the state of Submission, where real men carry guns and all women carry babies, where we protect our children from pornographic literature and communist ideas, where people know their place and the only votes that count are the ones we say count, the state that knows best what is best for its citizens, casts its however many votes you say we have for the overweight, old sex offender with the orange hair and big wad of tape on his ear who was just convicted of 34 felonies, is accused of attempting a coup, is buddies with Vladimir Putin and wants to protect America from sharks, social security and windmills … the man who once bankrupted a casino and said Covid would pass quickly, the great leader of our party … the former… umm, Trump.”
rjgaydos@gmail.com
Tags: America, Bob Gaydos, Chicago, Democracy, Kamala Harris, Milwaukee, president, Putin, rollcall, trump
