Forget the Ketchup, What is God?

By Bob Gaydos

This was supposed to be the week I talked to Ketchup Bob about his use of ketchup as a salad dressing. Never mind the health issues, it’s downright gauche. Didn’t happen.

When I got to Dunkin’ Donuts, he was finishing his toasted coconut donut. He seemed happy. “But,” he said, sensing my look of concern, “I had cereal for breakfast.” Genetically modified flakes of corn loaded with sugar. A kids’ cereal.

Before I could go all high and mighty about that (I‘m working on it), Guru Bob walked in and joined us. He opted for a bagon, egg and cheese sandwich. A Big Toastie, I think.

Sensing a theme and being outnumbered, I switched gears.

“Let’s talk about religion,” I said, looking for a less-controversial subject.

Well, I can’t really tell you much detail about what we talked about because I’m certain that something that was said, however innocently or non-judgmentally, would surely offend someone and I don’t want to lose any Facebook friends. I have made my political views well-known in this blog (Republicans have lost their minds and the Tea Party is brain dead), but I find most people can still act friendly towards me even if they think I’m an idiot, politically speaking.

Religion, though, hits people differently, I think. It goes to the core of a person, whether he believes in something or not, and why. Actually, non-believers I have found to be among the most avid, umm, believers, if you will. Atheists even have annual conventions to get together and reaffirm the fact that they don’t believe in anything but themselves. And now I’m certain I’ve offended some atheists, even though they don’t believe in organized religion. See what I mean?

I won’t speak for the other Bobs on this. They have their own beliefs and are perfectly capable of explaining them, if they so choose. What was interesting and encouraging about the discussion, though, was that it was honest and lively, included humor, went on for a while, included differences of opinion and the words “stupid“ and “hypocritical,” touched on Christianity in general, Catholicism in specific, Buddhism, Hinduism, Mormonism, Islam, Unitarian Universalism, spirituality, the collective consciousness and The Course in Miracles.

That’s some heavy stuff on oatmeal and a veggie egg white sandwich.

The upshot was that we agreed if everyone just practiced what they preached in their personal faith and left others to do the same, the world we know would be a far more peaceful place. This is nothing new, of course, but somehow we humans can’t seem to get it right yet. For some people, it seems to me, not believing what they believe is a judgment of them, a negative one. It also seems to me that even people who don’t follow their proclaimed faith, or know much about it for that matter, can feel threatened when someone questions it.

Why should that be? It’s only a question. If one truly believes (again, only me), what’s the harm in listening and discussing. After all, none of us has the definitive answer on God, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha, etc. Not even the atheists, god bless them.

Anyway, the three of us Bobs managed to have an honest and challenging conversation about all this without getting insulted, angry, or frustrated, and we do not share identical views. We are friends, however, and we respect each other’s opinions. That means we can disagree without holding a resentment. There will be no smack down in the parking lot at DD.

In fact, we even talked about starting our own religion. (Hey, why not? I saw “The Master.”) Guru Bob would be Number One Bob, of course. Unless Ketchup Bob or I wanted to be boss for the day. We haven’t figured out the specifics yet, but it promises to be another interesting breakfast when we try. (I may get back to the ketchup, too.) Stay tuned.

For now, the only bit of inside information I’ll leave you on our discussion of religion is that I wouldn’t want to be part of any heaven that would have me as a member.






























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6 Responses to “Forget the Ketchup, What is God?”

  1. Bob Mullin Says:

    I invite you (whoever is not turned off by this article) to share my own spiritual journey in my book, “Why Doesn’t God Talk Anymore? available at Amazon (Kindle) and Barnes & Noble or iUniverse. [OR I can sent it to you by email; contact me at]I was thinking of renaming it “God Is Not Religious” but Guru Bob told me to write another book. So I will, but only to continue the message that God, by whatever name you call Him, loves everybody unconditionally and passionately. Just call me Ketchup Bob

  2. evelyn gaylor Says:

    I would have enjoyed that discussion – and put out the question I’m always hoping will be answered – what religion is God?

  3. Jo Galante Cicale Says:

    So, Ketchup Bob has been outed in the name of God. And, “the atheists, god bless them,”? Now that was just a low point. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukuh, Happy Kwanza or go sulk. BTW, the coconut toasted is one of my favorites.

  4. bob mullin Says:

    My answer is that God has no religion. He is all-loving and therefore not able to be contain in any one religion. Religions are exclusive whereas God is all-inclusive. Peace & Joy, Bob

  5. LeeAgain Says:

    Been reading about NDEs (Near Death Experiences) lately on the internet. YouTube has a lot of them. I don’t know how much stock to put into them, but I found it interesting that one of the contributors – while in or near heaven – supposedly asked God what the true religion was. The answer? “Whatever brings you closer to God.” That leaves everybody lots of elbow room and pretty much negates all the wars and terrorist acts done in the name of religion.

  6. Jean Webster Says:

    We have a group that we get together every Monday morning at 9:30

    We follow a religion that meets every Monday morning around 9:30,
    in a little room with lots of glass at a local university. We are surrounded by those indoor bikes used for spinning. This group follows the Bridge religion, as in One No Trump, two clubs, which leads to Stayman (not a god, but very important) There’s a Jacoby as in the “Jacoby Transfer (I interpret that as the name of a dance, but the rest say “No, it’s a convention.”) In this religious group, we become very vociferous about lots of things (including a card game) like “Why is (Maine) Governor LePage so embarrassing? or when will the Dems take over the country? and why can’t we use all that money wasted on the campaign to help people?? Indeed, says the sage one.

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